Benvolio turned upon Balthasar. His ears wear turning into tiny pink onions. "Help me, I'm waddling!" screamed Benvolio proudly.
Balthasar beamed at him. "Scrub me", he insisted, handing Benvolio a cabbage.
Benvolio took the cabbage in his hand, and gazed at it for a few days before saying "Crubs".
Then he took the cabbage in both his hands and held it above his head. Using a sausage he peeled back the layers to reveal Romeo hiding inside. Romeo reached out from inside the cabbage, took Benvolio's left nostril and kissed it slowly, while at the same time gently slipping a peanut into Benvolio's sphincter.
"Help me, I've been rubbed", whispered Romeo, as he felt between Benvolio's loins.
Plorb.