Chapter Four: The Real You
The smell of cooking fish filled the camp the next morning. Luck had indeed been on her side overnight, and she caught a couple more fish in her trap. It wasn't enough for everyone to have their own, but there was enough that everyone could share in a hot meal, anyway. Valiant watched her turning the skewers, and she had to wonder what the beast was thinking. Probably just hungry. Finally, he ran off, presumably to catch his own morning meal.
Solas was on last watch of the night, and observed her as she had prepared the morning meal just as the sun rose. His back was turned to her now, but he glanced back every now and then, and his smile of approval told her that the effort had paid off.
"Andraste's dimpled thighs, what smells so good?" Varric said, crawling out of the tent he was now sharing with the runner, Warren.
"Good morning, Varric," she greeted. "It's just about ready if you're hungry."
He smiled, "Herald, I think that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me."
She laughed, happy he was finally pleased with something she had done. Maybe she had been baiting him a little too much, but his constant jokes and mocking grated on her. She much preferred it when people were just open with her. But, if she was going to be with these people for a while, she supposed it would be easier to just make the best of it.
She had no fancy plates, but had gathered a few large leaves that would serve just fine. She attempted to make five even portions out of the four fish. It wasn't a pretty job, but at least no one was eating off the same skewer now.
Cassandra and Warren also joined the circle, eager to taste the morning's fare. She handed a leaf to each of them. Warren paused over his, and she wondered at what kind of expression he was making under his helm. He'd been kind to her last night, listening to her talk. It reminded her of the first night in Haven, when Cullen had given her some words of encouragement. It was nice to have a friendly person around, and she was going to be sad when he left to return back to Haven and report.
They ate their meal - Warren eating his back in the tent, of course - before setting out for the day. Now fully into the Ferelden Hinterlands, the scenery had changed. The forest was warmer, and Alice didn't need her gloves today. It was a nice respite, and she couldn't deny that the countryside beyond the foothills was beautiful.
But, being in more hospitable environments also meant that they ran into more people, and it wasn't long before they encountered the warring templars and mages.
Leaving the treeline, Alice saw the blur of a spell streak past, not more than a few feet from her, and jumped backwards. Glancing to see what happened, she saw a templar frozen in place. She tried to locate the source and saw a man in mage robes, long staff in hand. His eyes widened, seeing her and Cassandra, who had stepped out behind her. He turned his staff toward her.
"Oh, no you dont," she muttered, and shouted orders to them all. "Disable them if you can. Kill only as a last resort. Solas, Varric, Warren, you get the templar. Cassandra, you, the dog and I will get the mage."
Alice held her bow firmly in her grip and drew an arrow, strafing to her right out of the treeline. The mage kept his sights on her. That's fine, watch me, then. "Valiant, get him!" she ordered, and the powerful brown mabari lunged forward. The mage turned to look at the dog, and she fired a shot just past his ear.
"Eyes on me, handsome," she called, drawing his attention back to her as she walked toward him. Just in time for Cassandra to reach him, knocking him down with her shield. She kicked the staff away. He glared at the Seeker, and moved to raise his hand to cast, only to receive a nasty bite from Valiant.
Alice reached him, and stood over his prone body. "I suggest you surrender. I'll see to it that you're not harmed."
"No way, if you send me back with that monster, I'm a dead man!" the mage shouted, but didn't fight, the sleeve of his robe still between Valiant's teeth.
"No one said anything about going with the templar. The shepherd does not abandon her flock in the storm," Alice said, quoting the passphrase she'd used when working with the Mage Underground.
The mage froze, staring at her wide-eyed. "And what of those who are lost?" he asked quietly.
"The sparrow will guide their way home again," she replied, completing the secret wording.
"My lady...but you're the Herald of Andraste! How can you be her, as well?" he asked.
"What is he talking about?" Cassandra asked.
"I'll explain later, Valiant and I have this, go help the others." Alice glanced over her shoulder to see the templar moving again, and Warren brandishing a sword. He seemed to know what to do with it, at least.
Cassandra frowned, but did as Alice asked. Alice leaned down to help the mage to his feet. "I am the Herald," she agreed, showing the mark on her palm. "And more, as you already know."
"I won't go back to a Circle, I don't care what the Chantry wants."
"The Circles failed, I agree. But this war is killing thousands. We need a peaceful solution," she told him.
"That didn't help us at the Conclave…" his eyes flicked away.
"No, that was a tragedy, but it doesn't mean we give up. My name is Alice, what's yours?"
Green eyes met hers. "Taran." He was thin, obviously malnourished, and his dark hair hung in his eyes, evidence that he hadn't had a proper haircut in months.
"Taran, I'm working on a solution, but I'm going to need your help. Join the rebels in Redcliffe. We're going to be talking to their leadership as soon as we're able. Tell them what you've seen today, that the Herald of Andraste wants what's best for all of us, mages included."
He smiled. "All my life living in the Circle, you hear stories of the Jade Lady. I think every mage that ever heard the tales hoped for a chance to meet you." He nodded. "I'll do as you ask. I will tell them that the Lady stands with the Inquisition."
"Go, Taran, say off the main roads, but get there quickly. I fear this will only worsen before it gets better."
"As you say, my lady." Taran looked back one more time before leaving.
Alice turned her attention to the templar, now being held down by Cassandra and Warren. Valiant at her side, she strode to where he was struggling.
"Stop fighting us," Alice commanded. "We are not here to harm you."
"You just let that murderer go!" the templar shouted.
Alice walked up and removed his helmet, tossing it to the ground. "That's better," she said. "Now, what murderer? All I saw was a starving mage."
"Their kind killed the Divine! They must be made to pay for what they've done."
Alice's shoulders slumped. The Divine's death. They were no closer to solving her murder than they had been when she had first awakened in Haven. "I wish it were that simple, templar...what's your name?"
"Barrett, of South Reach," he answered begrudgingly.
"Well, Barrett of South Reach, listen to me. I am the Herald of Andraste, and it is the mission of the Inquisition to solve the murder of the Divine. I believe you are being misled. Something else is at work here, more than a few runaway mages."
"I know what happened in Kirkwall. One mage blew up the whole Chantry! They could do it again."
Anders. He'd been quiet and sullen when he'd first arrived with her family. It had taken him a while before he was willing to even talk about what had happened in Kirkwall, but she'd already known. Everyone knew what Anders had done. She didn't approve of his methods, but the Circles had failed the mages. They weren't protecting them as they should have been. The Gallows in Kirkwall was no better than a prison, from the tales she heard from some of its residents.
"The events of Kirkwall unfortunate, but this isn't the same thing. This was no minor explosion, and the Conclave was well-guarded. I doubt a group of angry mages could have pulled off such a feat."
She saw the templar waver, and pushed on. "I want justice every bit as much as you do for the death of the Divine. The world lost one of its best people that day. But this war is not the answer. It won't end if we can't stop to think, and listen to each other."
Barrett stilled, looking at her. "Alright," he said. "I'm listening."
She smiled. "Let up him," she said.
The templar stood, with the help of Warren and Cassandra.
Alice looked him in the eye, and stepped closer. "Join us, help us find out what really happened."
He said something quietly, and she couldn't make it out. Leaning in to hear what he said, she realized what he was up to, a moment too late.
Barrett grabbed for her, catching the side of her jacket. She pulled away enough for Warren to get a good swing in, cutting deep between his neck and shoulder. The templar's grip loosened, and he screamed in pain, holding his other hand to his neck. He fell to the ground, his knees unable to support his weight any longer. Blood seeped through his fingers, coating them within seconds. It was obvious he wasn't long for this world.
"You fool!" Alice cried. "All you had to do was listen!"
Unable to watch him die, Alice slung her bow across her chest again and stormed away from the others, over to where her arrow from before was sticking out of the ground. She retrieved it, cleaning the dirt off on the grass before returning it to the quiver.
"Are you alright?" Solas asked, standing next to her.
She was surprised to find him concerned about her. "I...think so. I thought I had him willing to listen." She sighed.
"When one is so certain that they already know the truth, reason can escape them," He answers.
"You're right. I suppose he believed he was doing the right thing. It doesn't make this any easier."
"No, it does not. But such is the burden that you bear. Thankfully, you do not bear it alone," he responded, looking back at the others.
She nodded. "Let's move on from here."
Returning to the others, she looked at Warren. "Thank you, for what you did. It was unwise of me to get so close."
"I'm just glad you weren't harmed," he replied.
"This shit is only going to get worse, Princess," Varric warned.
"I told you not to call me that, but yeah, this was simpler when we were just dealing with demons and rifts," Alice commented. She stood over the now dead templar, and said a quick prayer, hoping that Barrett of South Reach found his way to the Maker's side.
"Order must be restored," Cassandra pointed out once she was done.
"I agree, but at what cost?" Alice pondered, turning away from the body. "Don't worry, I heard your message, and I'll be more careful from now on." She walked ahead of them, not wanting to see what kind of looks she was getting right now. I'll lead, but I won't stop trying to talk sense into people. We need to work on finding a way to influence people. Maybe Taran returning to Redcliffe with my message will have an impact on their willingness to cooperate with the Inquisition.
Cassandra caught up with her. "The mage is gone. What was that you said to him?"
"Just a little something I picked up along the way," she answered evasively, continuing to walk with her head up. Valiant joined her side.
"Stop," Cassandra said firmly, and Alice sighed, but did so. The others caught up to them.
"You said something to that mage back there, and he stopped fighting, seemed to know you. Then you let him go. Explain yourself."
Valiant gave a low rumble.
"It's okay boy, she's only curious. Cassandra's not our enemy," he said. He looked up at her, and sat back on his haunches, but kept an eye on the Seeker.
"What did happen back there?" Varric asked, slinging Bianca back on his back.
Alice sighed. "I told the mage a secret passphrase used by the Mage Underground."
Cassandra's jaw dropped. Solas was unmoved, which didn't surprise her, but Varric grinned in amusement.
"You?" he asked, laughing. "Lady Trevelyan, from one of the biggest Chantry-loving families in the Free Marches, knows passwords for the Mage Underground? That's a riot, Princess."
She just shrugged. She didn't owe these people any more of an explanation. "I saw an advantage, and I took it. If my message reaches Redcliffe, it might give the rebel mages more reason to talk to us. Are we done here, then?"
"Not remotely," Varric said. "There's a story I'm missing here."
"I don't think the Herald wants to talk about it right now, Varric." Warren? Speaking up for me? Alice smiled.
"We need to make up for lost time," Cassandra said, nodding her agreement.
With that, they were back on the road. They came across two more groups fighting before nightfall. She managed to convince one templar, who agreed to join as an agent and spread word that the Inquisition wants to help restore order. One...out of at least six people. I guess that still counts as progress, she told herself. But we need Mother Giselle, and the horses. And a better way to convince people that we aren't the enemy.
That night, when they camped, she took Valiant with her, and used the remaining daylight to collect herbs. She managed to find more elfroot, and plenty of embrium. It wasn't much, but she hoped it would help someone.
Returning from her walk, she hung the herbs in another net pouch to avoid moisture settling into the bag from Adan, and settled down in front of her tent to eat her dinner. She didn't try to talk to anyone, not wanting to answer more questions about her knowing mage passwords. Still, Warren came and sat with her anyway, not asking this time, just sitting down.
"I don't mean to overstep, but I think I see what your problem is," he commented quietly.
She turned to look at him. "You mean with the others?"
"Yes."
"It's not overstepping. I...I push them away, don't I?" she asked, hugging her knees to her chest.
He nods. "It might help if you trusted them more."
She thought about it. Varric with his big mouth, and a Seeker...I don't know how that would go. I can see Solas agreeing to allying with the mages, being an apostate himself. And according to Anders, Varric managed a spy network, proving he could keep a few secrets, and had helped hide him back in Kirkwall, bribing guards to look the other way. Cassandra seems open to communicating with the rebel mages at Redcliffe, at least...could it work?
"Maybe," she acknowledged. "I'll consider your words, Warren. You know, you're pretty easy to talk to. It's been nice. The dog doesn't say much."
Valiant looked up at her words with a grunt, causing both of them to chuckle.
"I stand corrected," she said, hands up in surrender.
"I'll leave you to your rest then, Herald," he said, standing back up.
"Good night, Warren."
The next morning, their things once again packed away, they journeyed onward. They reached a section of steep hills where they could see for quite a distance.
"We will reach the camp where Scout Harding and Leliana's people are today," Cassandra told her, surveying the landscape ahead of them.
"Good," Alice said, looking out over the terrain, as well. The hills would provide tricky footing, and she was thankful for her sturdy boots. "I'd like to get an update on the situation at the Crossroads. Let's keep moving."
She was used to taking the lead by now, and so far the others had let her, but today, she was surprised to find Warren falling into step beside her. She slowed her pace, looking at him.
"What is it?" she questioned, ducking around the trunk of a large tree. There's a lot of cover here. A lot of places for the templars or rebels to be hiding.
"There's something I need to tell you," he explained.
"Warren, can it wait?" she asked him, watching the area ahead, stepping over a few tree roots that protruded slightly from the ground.
"Not really," he answered. "It's important, and before we make camp-"
Cutting him off, Alice commented, "Sorry, but walking through a war zone isn't the really best time to-huh, case in point," she muttered, lowering her voice and drawing her bow.
The rest of the group immediately snapped to attention, drawing their weapons and moving into position. She squatted behind a bush with Warren, assessing the situation, and Valiant hunkered down on the other side of her. The others took cover behind trees and other foliage. Two mages and two templars were facing off against one another. Another senseless conflict.
Alice grabbed an arrow from the quiver and held it against the string. Lining up her shot, she chose one of the mages. Maybe I can pin his robes and hold him still long enough to talk to him. She was about to fire when she saw an arrow burst out of the chest of her target. Her bow lowered, her own arrow still firmly in her grip, and Alice squinted, trying to get a better look.
"Who fired that shot?" Warren wondered beside her.
She shook her head, but remained silent. Cassandra caught her attention, and gave her a questioning look. She gestured for her to wait, holding out a hand. Better not to engage anyone until she had a better idea of what they were up against. They could be going up against an army, or...one female dwarf with a bow.
"It's just one dwarf out there..."
"A dwarf?" Cassandra asked, moving forward to look. "That's Scout Harding, but why is she alone?"
"Only one way to find out," Alice replied.
The remaining mage wasn't going quietly. She aimed her staff at the now visible dwarf. Alice raised her bow and sent an arrow flying. The projectile found its mark easily, striking the mage in the middle of the chest, and she went down. Alice was happy to see the same confusion in the dwarf's expression that she herself had worn only a moment before. The templars scattered, their quarry having been stolen by shots fired from multiple directions.
Cassandra frowned at her again, but Alice was getting used to that expression. Varric grinned, and tipped his head toward Bianca, already in his hands. Solas stood nearby, staff in his hand, but leaning on it. Warren was unreadable, of course, his features hidden behind the helm he always wore.
Alice ignored them all and stepped out into the open. She slung her bow on her back again and showed her hands, demonstrating she was unarmed. Although I suppose I'm still armed with a mabari. That's probably not making me seem less intimidating. The dwarf relaxed when she saw Cassandra.
"Seeker! Am I glad you're here...and this must be the Herald. Scout Harding, at your service. Nice shot, by the way."
"Yours was pretty good, too," Alice replied, leaning over to place a reassuring hand on Valiant's coat.
"Why are you out here on your own?" Cassandra asked.
"I got separated from the rest after we were attacked. This-" she said cutting off to kick one of the mages, "was the last of the group that hit us. We tried to tell them we weren't templars, but it's like they've gone mad."
"Yeah, we've encountered the same thing," Alice commented. "Only a couple that we've found would even listen to what we had to say. I guess it's like this everywhere right now?"
She nodded. "People are scared. There are a lot of refugees camped out at the Crossroads, but they're running into problems. Corporal Vale is running things down there, he could tell you more."
"Any word of Mother Giselle?" Cassandra asked.
"She's offering prayers and healing to those in need in the hills above the Crossroads. But, I need to get back to camp, check on the others." She looks behind her, as though expecting to see someone else any minute.
"We'll come with you," Alice declared. "Those are our people, I'd like to know they're okay."
Harding smiled. "Thanks, Your Worship."
Alice followed the scout back into the trees where she had first appeared, Valiant and the others falling in behind her. She kept her eyes open, as before, but can't help but glance back at Warren. He'd wanted to say something to her, and she left a little guilty that she hadn't listened. She saw his helm turn toward her, and knew he'd noticed her watching him. She faced forward again, and felt her cheeks warm. He can tell me later, right? But he said it was important. I'll make time for him when we get to camp.
She focused on where she placed her foot in the seemingly neverending labyrinth of roots and ivy. This place is beautiful, when you look at it. This is part of what would have been my kingdom, had things worked out. She remembered when the Blight had happened, and the number of refugees that had ended up in the Free Marches. Some had returned to their homes, but many had ended up staying, making new lives away from Ferelden. And now these people are going through it again, losing homes due to this war. We need to find a way to help them.
They left the trees behind finally, and climbed down the rolling hills for another few minutes before the tents came into view. There were three agents waiting there, two in the familiar livery she'd seen in Haven, but one was dressed differently, with a hood, her face partially concealed.
"Harding!" One of the agents called, and the scout raised her hand in greeting.
"Looks like we all made it through okay, but who's this?" Harding asked.
The hooded figure walked toward Alice, and dropped to one knee. "My Lady Herald. Sister Nightingale has sent me to accept your report."
My eyes fly to Warren in confusion. "Another runner?"
"What?" the runner in front of her asked, looking up at her. "What do you mean, another one? I'm the first."
Alice looks to Varric for confirmation. His avoidant expression tells her all she needs to know. They'd lied. But who is Warren, then? Pursing her lips, she planted her feet firmly on the uneven ground and pointed at them. "Alright, out with it. What is it you two are hiding from me?"
"I tried to tell you earlier," Warren said, and as he slowly removed his helm, Alice saw the last face she expected. His strawberry blonde hair, and closely cropped beard were all too familiar.
"Alistair," she whispered in shock. A series of emotions crossed her face in succession: surprise, hurt, and finally anger. "You," she spat out, but thought better of saying more. She shook her head, turned on her heel and walked away, back the way she had come.
He moved to follow her. "Alice," he started.
"Don't, Your Majesty," she sneered, pointing at him, holding back her tears of humiliation by sheer force of will. "As if I didn't feel like enough of a joke already, I didn't need you laughing at me too."
"I wasn't-"
"I wouldn't follow me right now if I were you," she warned him, and stalked off.
She heard Varric's voice behind her. "Better give her time, King. I'm pretty sure what she's thinking right now would be considered an act of treason."
She veered off course a little, heading toward the steep cliffside. She was pretty sure she'd spotted a shallow cave up here when they'd come by. The snuffing sound beside her told her that Valiant had come with her, and as usual, she was grateful for the company. How could I have compared "Warren" to Cullen's kindness? That bastard was faking the whole time.
She reached the cave, and looking up at it, she saw a path that led up to it. It was steep, but it looked sturdy, and not too slippery. She climbed up the path and peered into the depression. Empty, no sign of any bears or other recent inhabitants. Soot on the ceiling of the small cave confirmed that someone else had probably had the same idea she was having. She sat cross-legged on floor of the cave, looking outward.
Valiant sat down, leaning against her side and let out a whine. She patted his coat, and allowed the tears to fall: tears for Ostwick, and having to leave her work there unfinished, tears for her family, and Jowan and the separation from them, tears for her mockery of an engagement. She looked down at the glowing mark, crying again about the thing that was going to kill her sooner or later. What was I thinking, believing I could set things right? I'm no 'chosen one'. I'm just a girl in over her head. I may have played the role of the Jade Lady, savior of mages, but I didn't do it alone. Here, I might as well be alone for all that anyone truly believes in me. I'm sorry Cullen, I know I said I wasn't giving up...but I want to go home.
She raised her knees, hugging them to her chest, and cried. Afterwards, she felt better, but was no closer to resolving her problems. Exhaustion started to set in, but she wasn't ready to head back to camp yet, not ready to face the judgement she knew was coming. There was still plenty of daylight left. Maybe I can just rest my eyes for a bit…
The sensation of Valiant stirring next to her woke her, and she opened her eyes to see that more time had passed than she thought. It was already getting dark, the sun low on the horizon, casting long shadows through the thick trees below. There was a sound, a crunching of leaves and twigs, and Alice was instantly alert, and reaching for her weapon. Please tell me that's not a bear come home for the night.
Peering carefully over the lip of the cave, she saw it wasn't a bear, but neither was it anyone she wanted to see. Still, it was obvious he was looking for her. She sighed.
"I'm up here, Alistair," she called, and he looked up.
"Thank the Maker," he muttered, and started up the steep incline. It amused her a little that he slipped a few times, his larger frame and armor making him far less dexterous than her.
The cave was big enough for the three of them, but barely. She scooted over to make room for him. He awkwardly sat on the edge, his legs dangling over the side, and said nothing for a moment.
"Alice, I'm sorry. I never should have done that," he said, and she looked over at him. It felt strange, hearing Warren's now-familiar voice coming from her betrothed. Well, at least he had been her betrothed.
"Right so far," she said, her voice quiet, yet still carried an edge to it.
"I want you to know I wasn't laughing at you."
"Oh," she said, wincing. "And you were doing so well."
"I mean it. I'd only just met you in Ostwick, and then I heard what happened at the Conclave. I was thrilled to get your letter and hear you lived, the sole survivor of thousands. But then here you are, supposedly a holy symbol, touched by Andraste herself. It was a little intimidating."
She scoffed. "What do you think it was like for me? I was just getting used to the idea of leaving everything I knew behind and moving to a country where I didn't know anyone, and then this happens, and everyone starts looking at me as though I'm supposed to have answers for them. I'm no Herald."
"You don't believe?" he asked, tilting his head to look at her.
"I don't remember," she said, frowning. "Every time I try to remember what happened at the Conclave, the memory is just...gone. I suppose anything is possible, but I don't feel special. I'm still just Alice, no matter how hard I try. But that doesn't explain why you lied. You could have just told me who you were."
"I guess I wanted a chance to see you with your guard down," he admitted with a small nervous exhalation. "You might have treated me differently had you known."
"That's not really fair, you know," she said. "I have no way of knowing if anything you said is true. I mean, did you even have a dog?"
A small smile. "So...not going to murder me in my sleep, then?"
Alice sighed. "Honestly, if I had the same opportunity, to have watched you without your knowing...I probably would have taken it, too. I was just angry. This hasn't exactly been easy, and then it turns out the one person I could talk to wasn't even real."
"I really am sorry I lied, but I'm not sorry I got to see the real you," he commented, studying her face in the dying light.
"Such as I am," she replied with a wry laugh, turning back to look at the green glow, now providing a little light in the darkening cavern.
"Why do you always do that?" he asked, frowning. "I don't know if you were chosen by Andraste or not, but you're definitely special. You were put in a difficult situation, and you're working to do the right thing. Not everyone would do that."
"Yeah, well sometimes 'the right thing' doesn't give you a choice," she remarked, stretching out her legs. "But you're right, I do want to help. I mean, these are your people, Alistair."
"Yours too...if you still want them to be," he said quietly and Alice looked up in surprise, meeting his warm gaze.
Her cheeks blazed at the implication, and she quickly turned away.
"Lady Trevelyan, Herald of Andraste and fierce agent of the Inquisition, has a shy side? Who would have guessed?" he joked.
"Stop," Alice said with a laugh, playfully tapping his arm, unable to look him in the eye, but couldn't stop the smile that blossomed.
"May I?" he asked, pointing at her hand, the one bearing the mark.
She frowned, but held up her hand. He pulled off his gloves, setting them aside, and reached for it. He cupped her hand with one of his underneath, holding it up, and traced a finger over the green mark. Alice's tried to breathe slowly to calm her rapidly-beating heart.
"I can't feel anything," he commented. "I thought it might feel different." He slid his fingertips upward over her palm, and interlaced his fingers with hers. After a split-second, Alice pulled her hand back.
"You did that on purpose!"
He smiled. "Guilty," he answered, in a sing-song voice. "I liked it so much, it's now my personal mission to see that pretty blush on your face again."
"What?!" She eyed him warily, then shook her head, reality hitting her like a slap to the face. "Alistair, there are any number of reasons you shouldn't want someone like me."
"Are you referring to your involvement with the Mage Underground? I already knew about that," he told her. He leaned in and whispered close to her ear, "Why do you think I let the rebels move into Redcliffe?"
Alice was stunned. He already knew her secret, and not only had it not scared him off, he was helping. She was speechless for a few long minutes after that, thinking over the implications.
"How did you find out?" she asked, eyes wide.
"I had my people looking for a suitable match," he explained.
Alice smiled widely. "And somehow I made that list?" She laughed, hiding her mirth behind her hand. "Maker, what must the others have been like?"
He returned her smile with one of his own. "When I learned of your connections to both the Chantry and the mages I knew you were someone who was willing to see both sides of the issue. To consider the well-being of everyone, and not afraid to act on it. And, not to put too fine a point on it, you were someone who understood that rules sometimes need bending. You were exactly the kind of person Ferelden needed."
"High praise indeed, Ali- oh, I guess I should probably call you Your Majesty, huh?"
"No, please don't. Titles are important, but you and I don't need to stand on ceremony. We're going to be close, after all."
"Oh. I...I'm sorry, but don't think I can keep that promise," Alice said, her voice quiet. Alistair looked at her, but said nothing, waiting for her to continue. "When this all happened, my mark was spreading, as was the Breach in the sky. You didn't see it, but it was awful, demons everywhere, and so much death. We managed to close the Breach, at least temporarily, but I couldn't withstand the force of it, and I passed out. If we manage to get help, and go to seal it completely...that much power through the mark will probably kill me." Valiant leaned against her side, offering his silent support.
Alistair looked away, absorbing the idea. "I know a little something of what that must feel like," he said at last. "When we faced the Archdemon. We'd fought so hard just to get to that point, and then to know that one of us had to die…" he trailed off, lost in the memory.
"Then you understand why I'm not the right choice for you," Alice said, a tear sliding down her cheek. "You've already known that pain once, Alistair, I won't bring it to you a second time if I can help it."
His brow furrowed. "Come here," he said, opening his arms.
"What?"
"Just come here," he insisted, scooting closer. He put his arm loosely around her and then pulled her close, resting his chin against her temple. "I'm sorry, I didn't know," he murmured, his breath tickling her hair, and she allowed herself to relax against him. "When it came to it, the only thing that made it easier for us was knowing that we weren't alone. I won't let you be alone either, Alice. I'll see to it that you get the help you need."
Alice nodded against his shoulder. "I can't thank you enough for that. And for helping the mages. I'm sure there are probably a few I know already in Redcliffe. When I learned that you had given space to them, I assumed you did it for Connor," she said, meeting his eyes again.
"Obviously an additional benefit," he responded, leaving his arms around her. "When the Ferelden Circle fell, Connor needed somewhere to go. Better that he be able to return to home, be around family. Eamon is still in Denerim, of course, tending to matters of state for me, but my uncle Teagan has taken over Redcliffe Castle in his absence."
"We should go see them," Alice suggested, pulling away from him, and wiping the tears from her face. "Soon. I have a few things to accomplish first around the Crossroads, but after that, we should look into it."
"I'd like that. Connor has grown into such a smart young man. If he weren't a mage, I'd have named him my heir already and been done with it."
"Right...Grey Warden fertility issues," Alice commented, and Alistair shot her an astonished look.
"How did you…?"
"You obviously know what my family does; we help apostates and runaways. We've had a few Grey Wardens pass through over the years."
"That makes sense. Wait, you knew about it, and you agreed to marry me anyway?" he questioned.
Alice shrugged. "I mean, having a family would be nice, but you came with other 'additional benefits'," she said, then realized how it sounded. "That's not what I meant!" she exclaimed, and tried to hide her face in embarrassment.
Alistair chuckled next to her and she felt a warm hand rest on the top of her head.
"If I had any idea you would be like this, I'd have come to see you sooner," he commented softly, amusement giving a light cadence to his voice.
He removed his hand and she grinned at him. "I thought you'd be disappointed that I'm more tomboy than lady."
"On the contrary," he replied, locking gazes with her. "I was afraid you were going to be stuffy."
She snorted. "Are you always like this?" she asked with a nervous laugh. "You were just so different in Ostwick, so awkward and…" she trailed off, and his expression faltered as well, and she knew he was thinking the same thing she was: that it was too late for any of that now.She sighed. "It's getting late, the others are probably worried. We should go back."
Alistair looked at her, not moving, his hesitation and troubled expression suggesting he wanted to say more, but at last, he nodded, moved over, and started down the steep trail. She watched him struggle with it in the dim light, a wistful smile on her face. Alistair is a good person, his deception aside.
"Come on, Valiant," she called to the dog, and moved backwards to give herself a bit more room to stand up. She was grateful to be wearing the pants, which she dusted off when she stood hunched in the cave and made her own way to the embankment. Her descent was a lot more graceful than Alistair's, and the dog practically loped down the hill after her. Once at the bottom, she leaned over to pet him.
"Are you hungry, boy? I know I am."
(Bark!)
"Do you want to go hunt down your dinner, then? Meet us back at camp?"
In answer, Valiant ran off into the underbrush. She felt a little strange standing there without his presence, but she knew he'd be back soon. She looked up at Alistair who was waiting for her.
"Let's go face them," she said, squaring her shoulders. "I can't hide forever."
They headed back toward camp in silence. Alice wasn't sure what to say to him. Their talk, which had cheered her up for a few minutes, now left her feeling saddened again. What will happen when we get back?
She snuck a glance at him out of the corner of her eye, and found him watching her too. Guess I'm better off just asking. "Will you be heading back to Denerim, then?"
"The official reason for my absence is that I'm 'assessing the situation in the Hinterlands'. I didn't specify how. No, I think I'll stay for a while, if it's alright."
Alice smiled. "As if I'd say no to more help right now. This Inquisition feels like it's climbing up a slippery hill in full armor."
He laughed. "Now who's making fun of someone?"
"You had that one coming, Warren," she retorted. "Now, we're even."
"Oh no, I believe that was a declaration of war, dear lady."
"Wait," she said, spotting something.
"Too late for that now. Oh, you mean actually wait. What is it?" he asked, stepping closer.
She walked forward, squinting into the darkness. She pointed her hand at the plant in question and exhaled a breath of relief. "Prophet's laurel. I've been looking all over for this!"
"A plant?" He questioned, unimpressed.
"Not just a plant, a rare herb. Adan asked me to find some if I could. It's pretty useful for potion-making. I can't believe I saw this in the dark."
"Adan, is that a friend of yours?"
"Sort of, he's the Inquisition's alchemist and potion master. Apparently he treated me when I was out for those few days. Him and Solas, of course."
Another frown, and he pressed his lips together. Now what is he unhappy about?
"Sooo," he said, drawing out the word. "Herbalism is something else you learned from you father, I take it."
"No, Father new a few basics, but I really learned from a Grey Warden mage. He was a healer."
Alistair narrowed his eyes. "Are you talking about who I think you're talking about?"
"Maaaybe," Alice answered with a mischievous grin.
"And was he with your family before or after?"
"When do you think?" she answered dryly. "He had nowhere to go, Alistair, no one would take him in as he was. Our organization gives second chances."
"That put your family in a lot of danger."
Alice looked around her, and shrugged. "Hey look, I'm in danger," she observed in a flat tone, then chuckled. "I'm used to that part. I'm told Anders was a lot more angry in Kirkwall. When he came to us he was just quiet, sad. At one point, I worried he might even hurt himself. A lot of mages do, you know, when they can't take it anymore, but thankfully, he came around. He actually has quite the sense of humor, which shocked me to no end. Justice is quite nice too, considering. Very gentlemanly."
Alistair said nothing again, looking thoughtful. "So you know archery, rare herbs, fish traps, and - merciful Andraste - cooking. Any other skills lurking about in there?"
"Horseback riding is one you haven't seen yet," Alice answered.
"Yes, all this walking everywhere does get tedious. Varric said you were going after horses...hold up," he said, not finishing the statement, and held a finger to his lips. He pointed off to the right, and Alice noticed the red-orange glow of a campfire. She reached in her pocket and tugged on her gloves, covering the mark so as not to give them away.
Thankfully, she was still armed, having not set down her things before leaving camp earlier. Alistair similarly had his sword, although he'd left the shield behind, evidently. She drew her bow and pulled an arrow. Nodding her readiness to him, they crept in for a closer look.