There was a gloomy air around the Banana House this morning.
Eve was half sobbing, half dozing off as she attempted to cook breakfast, Bill was drinking his coffee and attempting to read the newspaper which would have been convincing if he wasn't twitching every few seconds and glancing at the front door hopefully, Caddy (who had stayed the night at Bill's insistence and was quickly abandoned by Michael, who although willingly to go to hell and back for her thought Grandma Casson was asking a bit too much of him) was half asleep and clutching Buttercup tightly to her chest in case she dropped him (again), and Rose had already fallen asleep again with her head on the table and some of her hair in the butter.
The only two people who were somewhat cheerful was David and Indigo though they were too quiet and preferred to block the world out with their headphones rather than pay attention to the latest drama.
Well, ok, David tried to help but when Eve snarled at him for calling her 'Mrs Casson' (he still found it difficult to call his 'foster' parents by their given names) he decided it was best for his own safety (and pride because really he was very close to wetting himself just then) to copy Indigo.
Everyone had been kept up to the early hours of the morning by Grandma Casson's terrifyingly loud snoring and when they finally managed to doze off they were woken barely three hours later by her heavy footsteps and loud grumbling as she made her way to the bathroom to get washed and dressed.
Fortunately for the family Grandma Casson always went on a morning walk no matter where she was or what the weather was like before breakfast which allowed all of them to sort themselves out and Eve to prepare breakfast.
She already burnt the bacon because she fell asleep and now she was failing at making porridge once again.
Only this time she was so distracted between her crying ("Oh my poor darling Saffy forced to live on the streets because of that old bat!" "Eve be sensible! Saffron is staying with Sarah and she was not forced to do anything, she made her own choice!" "She wouldn't have made a choice if that old hag of your mother kept her mouth shut!" "Eve Darling!") and almost falling asleep again that instead of pouring in milk she poured in bright bold red paint that she and Rose kept in the fridge into the mixture.
"Eve Darling!" Bill cried out in horror. "That's paint not milk! Why on earth is there paint in the fridge? I thought I cleared it out."
Rose groaned from the table. "The colder the paint is the brighter the colour," she mumbled.
Bill was too tired to tell her off which was saying something really. He was so used to the silence of his flat in London or the quiet breathing which was occasionally pierced by Buttercup's screaming of his family that the return of his mother's snoring (which he swears has gotten worse since he was a child) had kept him up all night.
"I think we will stick to just toast this morning," he said as he threw the contents of the saucepan into the bin as Eve sobbed once mire. "Don't cry, Eve, be sensible we only have six more days and then everything will be back to normal...well as normal as it can get here."
"I just want Saffy to come home. It is like her running away to Italy all over again!" Eve wailed.
"Good lord, Saffron did what?" Grandma Casson said as she bustled in with a newspaper and a bag of fruit. "Honestly, Eve do you not know how to discipline that child? I know it must be rather distressing raising your husband's illegitimate child but that is no excuse for being so lax in her discipline." She sat down next to Rose completely unaware of the dirty look her youngest grandchild was sending her. "Oh do not worry about my breakfast, I knew Eve would botch up whatever attempt and thought it was best to buy some fruit. Better for my health as well as my stomach. Oh go and get me a bowel and a knife to peel this orange, will you William?"
"Yes Mother," Bill mumbled as he went to obey his mother.
"Now I thought it would be wonderful if we went out today and explored the minimal culture this town has to offer, we could look at some of the museums and maybe book tickets to the theatre, and then I thought it would be best for all of us if we had dinner out. That way Eve won't accidentally poison us with her cooking," Grandma Casson continued unaware that Eve was being restrained by Bill, or that Caddy was frowning at her, or that Indigo (who can read lips) was matching Rose in the dirty looks department. "What do you say, hmm? Oh honestly! Indigo Charles Casson take those awful headphones out you unsociable little boy!"
Rose really, really, really wished she went with Saffy to Sarah's last night.
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Michael was overjoyed when he found out that he no longer needed to go back to the Banana House but he also didn't have to see Grandma Casson again. Ever. He was also very pleased to find his soon to be wife on his doorstep having forgotten her keys again.
"Bill didn't manage to convince you to say for the whole week then, darling?" he called out as he jumped out of the car.
Caddy greeted him with a lovely run to his arms with Buttercup gurgling cheerfully as he got squished between his parents. "I can barely last an hour with that awful woman without thinking about strangling her!" Caddy cried out feeling rather horrified with herself. "All she did was criticise how I raise my son and then criticise Mummy on how she raised me, and then criticise Manchester before moving back to Indigo, Saffy, Rose, and poor David. He looked like he was about to wet himself when she started on him! And poor darling Mummy cried three times this evening alone!"
"I honestly don't understand how someone so kind and wonderful like you is related to an evil, cold, and cruel woman like her," Michael sighed as he pressed a kiss on Caddy's forehead.
He really missed her.
"I take after Mummy, something that hag can't bear!" Caddy said with all the viciousness she could summon up.
Which quite honestly wasn't really that much she couldn't help but think how lonely poor Grandma Casson must be...
Michael chuckled as he turned to unlock the door and let his family come in (he had no doubt that Caddy lost her keys again) and cheerfully spent the night putting Buttercup to bed as he listened to Caddy complain endlessly about her grandmother over several cups of tea before they went to bed.
One thing he knew for certain was when they got married he was not inviting Grandma Casson even if it means they have to elope.
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Saffy and Sarah were painting their toe nails while listening to a Spanish drama on a Spanish radio they tune in often on Sarah's computer. While it was a little difficult at first it had quickly become second nature to instinctively translate without giving it a second thought.
They were very pleased since one of their goals was to be fluent in a language and since they epically failed at their heart of stones part of their long-term goals it was nice to accomplish something.
Suddenly the door burst open causing them to jump, and much to Sarah's mother's frustration the next day, spill bright red nail polish on the white carpet.
"Sarah!" Rose wailed. "Can I sleep here please? Grandma Casson is horrible! She's mean and bitter and nasty, and now Caddy has left us as well! She makes scary noises in her sleep and I can't sleep! Please, please, please, let me stay!"
"I'm sorry Rosie Pose I can't," Sarah said trying to hide a giggle, while she had no doubt that Rose was being tortured by her grandmother there was something amusing about the way she begged. Rose never begged. Unless it was for sweets or new art supplies. "Someone broke my hammock and there's no spare beds."
"It wasn't someone it was you and Indigo," Saffy muttered under her breath with disgust.
"What were you and Indigo doing in the hammock?" Rose asked curiously.
"Ask your brother," Sarah and Saffy said quickly in unison. Neither of them particularly wanted to explain snogging to Rose who wasn't quite twelve yet and still unbelievably naive.
Besides Indigo has been rather useless recently and it was best to make him suffer just a little before Bill or Eve put him out of his misery.
"Ok," Rose made a mental note to ask Indigo about the hammock, "Saffy can't you come home, please?" Rose begged tearfully. She didn't want to go back alone and if she had to suffer surely someone else should as well!
"Only when that old hag has gone back to whatever hellhole she lives in," Saffy said firmly. "Go home Rose, it's late and you should be in bed."
Sniffling Rose slowly left the room and made her way home.
But not until after she cried on Sarah's mum's shoulder and had two mugs of hot chocolate and several biscuits.