Author's Note: Warning! Admittedly this chapter turned out a little sexier than I originally planned. I may move the story up to M. I have some thoughts on the finale... Mainly that they could have had Briggs kill Ari about ten minutes sooner and used that time to develop other characters motivations like Paige, who was all over the place, or finally wrap up her "told Sid Markum Mike's location" bit once and for all (still salty about that season 2 move. It was possibly the stupidest thing in tv writing history). I have other thoughts, but seeing as I have no idea or interest in using tumblr or twitter, they will probably go unheard, and that's for the best.
Mike rolled over and turned off his phone alarm and accidentally almost knocked over Paige's lamp.
Right. They were sleeping in her room this week.
Now that they've been "married" for a month, certain things are starting to feel more routine. It helps that their current work schedules have kept them apart most of the hours of the day. They really only see each other at night when they collapse into bed, and usually one's already asleep by the time the other gets home.
They'd agreed that they needed to sleep in the same room to keep up appearances. At first they had attempted sneaking back to their own rooms half way through the night, but their roommates schedules were hard to track, and half the time they ended up sleeping through the intended switch anyways. So then they decided just to give that up and spend the full night together, and had come up with a compromise of switching which room they slept in on a schedule.
Mike rights the lamp and looks over his shoulder to see if he accidentally woke her up. She sleepily groans and stretches out, throwing one arm over his chest keeping him in bed. She snuggles up to his side and Mike lays back in bed so as not to disturb her. Most times they were really strict with themselves about not touching when they were in private, keeping to their own separate sides of the bed. It somehow made the touching in public all the more potent for Mike, but he was dealing.
Sometimes he would catch himself pretending what they had was real. Now with her sleepily wrapped around him, it felt real, and Mike let himself have this moment.
"Wh'a'y'doin?" The words are sleepily mumbled together into his side, but Mike grins down at her. She is so not the morning person she pretended to be back when they first started hooking up.
"I'm going for my run. Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep." Mike whispers to her, bringing his hand up to sooth her tangled hair before deciding against it. Things were a little less awkward and they were adjusting, but he still didn't think they were at a point where he should lovingly stroke her hair, unless they were putting on a show for the roommates.
"It's Sunday." Paige groans into his side, pulling him closer, too sleepy to realize this contact was against the self imposed rules, "Even God rested on Sunday."
"Yeah, well as my wife has told me numerous times, I'm not God." Mike teases. They've at least gotten to the point where they can joke about their ridiculous situation. The first few weeks of marriage they were both so afraid they'd made a horrible mistake that they couldn't see the humor in the situation.
"Go back to sleep. You're married now. You're expected to let yourself go… Get fat and lazy…" She grumbles.
Mike looks down at her with a smile. She was adorable like this. With her arm slung over his chest and her head buried into his side. He would happily stay in bed all day if it meant he could hold her, but their agreement keeps them on separate sides of the bed when they're alone. They generally only make small touches in public, though it was sometimes hard to turn it off in private.
Mike settles into Paige's embrace letting himself enjoy the moment until his second alarm goes off. As she dozes against his side, he lets his mind wander.
The roommates had taken it surprisingly well without much question. The first morning when they'd come downstairs together, it took the super observant spies over an hour of Mike and Paige touching and waving their left hands around for anyone to catch on. In the end it had been Johnny who first noticed the rings, which neither of them expected.
Everyone had their own reactions. Briggs had stormed out of the room. Jakes mumbled a halfhearted congratulations with a mouthful of cereal and asked when the baby was due. Charlie had yelled at them for not inviting her and then hugged them both saying how happy she was they finally worked it out and talking about how she was going to make a cake. Johnny insisted it wasn't too late to throw a bachelor party.
Regretfully his second alarm goes off all too soon. Mike picks up Paige's arm and slides out of her embrace sitting up on the bed reaching for his phone.
"Turn it off." Paige groans wrapping her pillow around her head. "It's your day off. Sleep."
"We can't just stay in bed all day." Mike tries to stand but Paige grabs him by the hem of his t-shirt and drags him back down.
"Come on. I gotta get up. You can stay in bed. You always complain I hog the sheets anyways, now they're all yours." Mike sighs.
"But I get cold. You're like a furnace sleeping next to me... Just another hour. Then we'll get up." Paige mutters as she buries her face in her pillow and pulls on his shirt.
"They'll come looking for my dead body if I stay in here too much longer. I'm already late." Mike says as he untangles her uncurls her fingers from his shirt to free himself.
"You can take a morning off. The world will move on without you. No one will even notice." Paige whines as she sits up in bed, her hair sticking every direction.
"Is Levi still in bed?" Johnny's voice floats in from the hall.
Mike throws her a "I-told-you-so" look and motions out toward the hall, miming "y'see?!" at her.
Paige let's her whole body flop back on the bed in frustration, as Mike stands victorious. He reaches onto her nightstand and slips on his pendant and begins to fasten his watch when he hears a soft noise from behind him.
He pauses putting on his watch, and cocks his head to the side, wondering if he just imagined it.
The second time, he hears what is definitely Paige letting out a soft moan.
He turns to see if she's hurt herself, but she's lying on the bed with her arms sprawled out above her head, blankets in a tangle giving him a mischievous smirk.
"Are you ok?" Mike asks, confused as to what she's doing.
"Mmmm… Oh, Mike." She practically purrs in a comically overdone seductive voice.
"Oh." Mike raises an eyebrow as he realizes exactly what she's doing.
"Mike stop it! It's so early!" She squeals with a girlish giggle, "Oh... Someone's definitely an early riser. Good morning soldier!"
"Seriously?" Mike groans, as he realizes this is only going to get worse.
"You want to what? Oh, we can't! I have to oooh... yeah. Mmmmm... That feels good. You want me to do what?" She exclaims, looking at him with a playfully scandalized look on her face and mischievous look in her eyes. Every word she says in a high pitched girlish breathy squeal. "Oh I'm not drunk enough to try that! You dirty boy."
Mike rolls his eyes and crosses his arms glaring down at her, waiting for her to finish her little game. He looks over his shoulder and can see the outline of roommates gathering beyond the stained glass. He should just walk out the door into the hallway and leave her here faking alone. That would teach her.
"Oh Mike." She grins up at him, as she brings the crook of her elbow up to her face and starts making lewd slurping kissing sounds. He brings his hand up to cover his face in embarrassment. They are never going to hear the end of this from the roommates. This is soooo not sexy what she's doing. She stops blowing on her arm and gives him a look over the crook of her arm that tells him something horrible is about to happen
"GOD MIIIIIKE! YES! YES! OH GOD YES! YOU'RE SO… AH! SO GOOD YES! JUST LIKE THAT!" Paige screams out loudly as she begins hitting the bed with her hands. Mike dives forward on the bed and scrambles to cover her mouth with his hand as his face turns bright red.
"Ok, you've made your point. Happy now? I won't be able to show my face out of this room for a week." He whispers in frantic tone, "But you've got to stop screaming like a Banshee. They are going to think I'm killing you in here!"
"Mmmmm? You want to talk dirty to me baby?" She grins up at him when he removes his hand.
"Nope. No I really don't." Mike replies dead pan. He will not sink to her level. Mike would like to actually show his face in the main area again.
"Oh you want me to gag you then? Treat you rough?"
Mike shakes his head back and forth frantically. God No.
"You asked for it." She smacks her leg hard so the crack reverberates through the room. "You've been a naughty boy, Mike."
She smacks her thigh again with another loud thwack. "SO NAUGHTY!"
"Naughty? What are you an English Au Pair in a outdated porno?" Mike asks in a voice quiet enough his roommates outside won't hear over Paige's moans as he sits cross legged beside her on the bed, giving up the idea of being able to stop this show.
"Stop teasing me you NAUGHTY boy." Paige's eyes are laughing as she delivers the ridiculously bad line. "Just do me already!"
"I hope you know, I'm making you go out there first." Mike whispers loudly to her as he gets up off the bed again and stands at the foot of it, arms crossed, watching her performance..
"Oh I'm ready you stallion. Come on ride me baby." Paige says proudly in a voice loud enough that everyone can hear.
"Stallion?" Mike mouths over to her in disbelief.
"Giddy up big boy!" She yells with a grin. She then begins jumping up and down on the bed, making the entire bed shake with the pressure. Mike just shakes his head as he watches her sudden burst of energy. She could have just come on the run with him.
She jumps up and down on the bed a few more times, looking like a small child on Christmas morning, when suddenly she lets herself collapse onto her knees and looks up at him with an innocent expression, and says "Oh, are you done? Don't worry honey. It happens to lots of guys."
Mike's jaw drops in shock that she would play such a dirty card. She's trying to ruin his sexual reputation? Hell no! If she was going to start such rumors, he was going to come off as a freaking God in bed. She grins up at him, trying not to burst into giggles at the look of shock on his face. He recovers quickly though and takes two challenging steps forward climbing onto the bed.
"I'm nowhere near done, baby. Just switching positions. I'm going to ride you so hard you won't be able to sit for a week." Mike declares in a voice loud enough for people to hear next door. He then grabs the headboard and begins to loudly bang it against the wall. Paige dissolves into a fit of giggles as her body bounces up and down as Mike shakes the bed frame like a jackhammer.
The next twenty five minutes the two agents spend making as much noise as possible. They groan, moan, scream and laugh. They jump up and down on the bed, slam into walls, make loud smacking noises ad throw things across the room. They try to call make the other agent blush with ridiculously bad dirty talk. Eventually the two are left in two separate breathless heaps, their sides hurting from laughter. The entire time, neither of them had touched the other.
"Alright... you win." Mike finally concedes. "But now, I really have to go or it's going to be to hot out to even make it a mile."
"You're still going for a run?" Paige asks in surprise. With all the jumping around he'd just done, he must be exhausted by now. Mike had gone above and beyond to try to preserve his sexual reputation in the house with the roommates.
"What can I say? I'm a stallion." Mike says teasingly, his sides still hurting from laughter as he walks out the door.
He walks to his room to grab his shoes, still laughing at the cleared out hallway. As he enters his room and changes into his running shorts, it seems like his body has other ideas. He looks down at the lump in his shorts and over towards his shower. He may as well just skip straight to the shower, unless he wants to go on the most uncomfortable run in history. Sighing, he shucks off his clothes and heads into his bathroom to take care of things.
Paige is all smiles as she makes the bed and grabs her towel. Mike may be going for a run, but that there was her morning workout and she's covered in sweat. She starts to head to the shower when she realizes she forgot her shampoo in Mike's shower last. She skips over to his room, humming to herself. As she walks into his room she thinks she hears water running. Then she hears something else. Mike's voice.
"Paige." She walks forward curiously. She thought he was going for a run, but maybe he turned on the shower for her first knowing she needed one? She was starting to smell.
"Fuck, Paige." She realizes too late her mistake. She sees him through the steam and glass of the shower, one arm against the wall his other hand jerking between his legs. "Mmmm... You feel so good. Paige. Oh god, Paige."
This is nothing like the playful over exaggerated dirty talk they'd been screaming at each other all morning. His voice was low and sensual, his eyes squeezed shut, and it made Paige's stomach flip every time he said her name.
"You want me to be naughty, I'll show you naughty." He mutters under his breath, but Paige hears every word and there is nothing funny about the way Mike is saying it now. "Fuck yes, Paige!"
He arches into his hand and a small gasp escapes Paige's lips. She turns and runs out of the bathroom, as Mike's eyes turn, horrified, over his shoulder.
"Fuck." He mutters realizing he's been caught, as he grabs a towel and wraps it around his hips ready to chase down the hall after her. He doesn't have to though because she's sitting on his bed, her knee bouncing up and down nervously, staring ahead like she's seen a car accident.
"Look. I can explain." Mike insists as he walks towards her, "It's not what it looks like."
"I caught you whacking off in the shower." Paige says matter factly.
"Nope. You're right. That about sums it up." Mike clenches his jaw and stares up at the ceiling in frustration. "It's just… It wasn't because of earlier. I mean it kind of was, but it wasn't about you. I mean, I know I said your name, but it's just... I'm used to sleeping alone, and with our new sleeping arrangements I'm just used to having more private time to take care of things, and I haven't recently so the shower is the only place I can, and I don't want you to think I'm mad about that or expecting anything. It's just with guys, it's different and we need certain, release. Not that I expect you to provide that. I can do that. I just don't have as much time anymore, and the shower is-"
"You really need to stop talking." Paige insists, interrupting his babbling.
"Right…" Mike says, running a hand over his neck nervously wishing he was wearing more clothes.
"Look I get it. It's natural. I should have knocked." Paige says, as Mike blushes furiously though he has no reason to. It's not like she hasn't seen it all before. It's not like they haven't touched each other.
"Right. Ok, I'm going to get dressed and really go on that run now." Mike says turning towards his dresser. They'd been doing so well this morning. It had been fun. Light. Normal. Then this horrible thing happened and now he felt awkward around her again.
"But just so you know, I'm not asking you to stay celibate or anything." Paige keeps talking. Mike stiffens.
"Ok... We can talk about that..." Mike says carefully. They really should talk before they just started up their relationship again. Things had ended so suddenly between them before and if they were going to do this, really do this, they needed to make sure they both were in it for the long haul. Because they were stuck together.
"So if you meet someone, or just need to take someone home one night, just let me know and I'll help cover for you." Paige says.
"Oh. Yeah. Ok. Thanks. I'll do that." Mike responds awkwardly. "Yeah... you too. Showers all yours. I mean, I rinsed it off, so you can... I'm gonna go."
Mike flees the room without even putting his shoes on.
"Run free you Stallion!" Johnny yells after him as he dashes to get out of the house.
"Bite me Johnny!"
"I'll leave that to your wife dude!"