Hey guys. Wow, thanks again for all of your support. It means so much to me and really inspires me to keep writing, something I have always loved to do. A few of you have mentioned that Alex seems out of character with his support of April. I've tried to convey in the story that yes, it is not normal behavior for him, and that's why Jackson was so confused about why Alex was upset with him. And why April keeps getting surprised at his kindness towards her. I want to say that Alex walking up on April almost being raped has irrevocably changed his attitude towards her, and I hope to dive further into that in future chapters. But, aside from his kinder supportive attitude with April, I hope he is staying true to the character we all know and love. I adore Alex Karev and his sarcasm and rudeness, lol. So those things will never go away.

Secondly, I always picture different actors/actresses for the characters in my stories as I write (aside from the mains, obviously.) I wasn't a huge fan of the actresses they cast as April's sisters (seriously they were all so..ugh) so for my story, this is Alice Kepner-Jones :)

Perfect right? Haha.

I know a lot of you have mentioned being torn, and that I am messing with your Japril loving hearts. Well.. good. That's my intention. ;)

Anyway, here's chapter four. I hope you guys enjoy it. I'm not sure when I will be able to update again, hopefully this weekend, maybe sooner.

ooo

April walked into her apartment so relieved to be home. Traveling across the country was always such a hassle, especially with her 5am flight. She dropped her suitcase and sat down on her over sized love seat letting out a tired sigh. A week in Moline with her family was just what she needed. Seeing all of her nieces and nephews light up on Christmas morning was a gift all by itself. The peaceful farm life provided her with comfort and allowed her brain to slow down. Being able to ride her horses and feed her animals was always very therapeutic for her. For a long time, those animals were her only friends, they were always there for her and they never once let her down. She also got to spend quality time with her older sister Alice. Out of all three sisters, she was definitely closest with Alice. They were two years apart and total opposites. Alice was loud, sarcastic, and the life of the party. She was popular in school, athletic, and could make friends with anyone. Alice married her high school sweetheart right after graduation and popped out three kids fairly quickly, all the while still getting her marketing degree at Ohio State. She was a great mother, a great wife, and had a great job. She was what April aspired to be.

One night after a few glasses of wine, April confided in Alice everything that was going on back in Seattle. How she had finally lost her virginity to her best friend, how they'd slept together for months until she thought she was pregnant, how he told her he wanted to marry her then in the next breath dumped her once the test was negative. She told Alice how she thought she was falling in love with Jackson and that she was finally going to tell him, only to happen upon him and someone else going at it. She even told her about Joe's, the bikers, and how her friend Alex came to her rescue.

Alice couldn't believe her ears. Innocent April was not so innocent anymore. After a few minutes of the requisite older sibling teasing, Alice held April and let her cry. She told her that everything would be just fine, and that it sounds like this thing with Jackson was a huge misunderstanding. That the Jackson she met when April introduced them intern year, the one April talked about non-stop for years, would never 'hit it and quit it' and hurt her intentionally. That there had to be more to the story, and she needed to talk to Jackson. That their main problem sounds like lack of communication. Too much sexing, not enough talking. Alice told April to give Jackson the benefit of the doubt before cutting him off completely. They had been friends for too long to just throw it away.

Of course, she also warned April if she ever went out and got wasted by herself again, she'd haul her pregnant ass all the way to Washington and beat the hell out of her. April swore on her life it would never happen again. She didn't think she could even go back to Joe's at this point, the memory of that night still so fresh in her mind. Thank God for Alex. She really needed to call him and thank him, again. He had really come through for her.

April's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on her door.

"Who could that be?" She thought to herself. The only person who knew she was back today was Dr. Hunt, and she doubted he would show up at her apartment unannounced. She was shocked to see Jackson standing on the other side.

"Jackson.. what are you doing here?"

He lifted up a bag from Blazing Bagels in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other with a hopeful half smile on his face. April couldn't turn down her favorite bagel shop, or that face to be perfectly honest, so she stepped aside and let him in.

"I overheard Hunt telling Torres you got back this morning. I just wanted to come see you, see how your Christmas was. I know it's your favorite holiday.." jeez he sounded like such a bumbling idiot, Jackson thought to himself.

April nodded awkwardly. "It was really nice to be with my family. How about you, did your mother come to visit?" She was avoiding eye contact at all costs, preparing her coffee the way she liked it and busying herself wiping down the already sparkling counter tops. Jackson watched her, noting her nervousness, but not sensing the hostility he had a week prior.

He let out a small laugh. "Yeah, she did. She was only here a couple days. I woke up Christmas morning to a full stocking and gifts under a Charlie Brown tree she managed to sneak up. 'Now, baby, Christmas ain't Christmas without a tree..'" he did his best Catherine Avery impression and got a smile laugh from April. "She, uh, she asked about you. Told me to wish you a Merry Christmas and that you need to call her sometime."

April nodded. "I will."

Jackson switched his weight from one foot to the other. "I tried to call you a few times."

"I know. I'm uh.. I'm sorry, I just needed some space."

"Did you get my messages?"

She nodded again.

April, hey.. it's me. I didn't really think you'd answer but I had to try. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for hurting you. That's the last thing I ever wanted to do. The fact that you were almost.. that you were almost hurt because of something I did...You mean more to me than.. you're my best friend. You're one of the most important people in my life. I miss you and I hate that things are so awful between us right now. I'll do anything to fix it. Just tell me how to fix it. Please call me back.

April it's killing me to know that you hate me. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I'm just.. I'm just a mess right now. It's my own fault right? I know. I just need to hear your voice. I just need to know that you don't hate me. I miss you.

Yeah, it's me again. I'm starting to sound like a stalker, I know. I just... Merry Christmas, April.

"I got them. I just.. I didn't know what to say to you, so I figured nothing was better than putting my foot in my mouth. I've been known to do that, right?" She laughed softly.

Jackson smiled. He loved her sweet little laugh so much.

"April.."

"Jackson.." They both started at the same time and stopped.

"Go ahead." She insisted.

"Can we sit?" He gestured to her small bistro table in the corner of the kitchen. April nodded and followed him over. She was absolutely dreading this conversation, but knew she needed to put on her big girl panties and get it all out on the table, literally.

There was a moment of silence as Jackson collected his thoughts. He went over what he would say to her a million times in his head and now that she was right in front of him, he couldn't find his words.

"I'm so sorry for.. what you saw. I never in a million years thought you would come outside looking for me. I didn't think you cared."

April furrowed her brow, trying to remain calm, even though talking about that night was making her anxious as hell. "Why wouldn't I care, Jackson?"

He swallowed nervously. "Because.. you insisted I take a date to the wedding. That we both take dates. You said it'd be easier for us to move on."

She scoffed unintentionally. "Apparently I was right.. in your case, anyhow."

Jackson took the jab in stride, knowing he deserved it and so much more. "No, you weren't right, April. You were wrong. Sleeping with Stephanie didn't help me move on at all. I was an idiot to think it would."

April looked down at her hands on the table, memories of seeing them so intimate rushing to her mind. Tears stung at her eyes and she closed them to keep them at bay.

"I was just so hurt and angry and wanted to forget that we.. I wanted to forget about us and everything that's happened since San Francisco. I thought if I acted single and like I didn't care, then eventually it would become my reality. I know it sounds incredibly egotistical of me, I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, but I guess I wasn't used to rejection.. especially from someone I care about as much as I care about you."

April was speechless. She didn't even know where to start. Rejection? Rejection?!

"Wait, rejection? What are you even talking about, Jackson? Because from what I remember, YOU broke up with me. I mean, if you can even call it that, right. We were never really together. A few rounds of sex in the hospital does not a relationship make." She was starting to get angry all over again.

"Come on, April. You know it was more than that."

"Really? Was it more than that with Stephanie too? Wait, don't answer that. I already know. I mean at least she meant enough to you to warrant an invite to your apartment. I guess she's just too good for quickies in on-call rooms, huh?"

Jackson was at a loss for words. Wait.. what..

"How did you know that she was at my apartment?"

"Does it even matter?" April huffed and stood up. She couldn't stand to be in such close proximity to him right now. She walked over to the opposite side of the kitchen and turned around, folding her arms protectively across her chest.

"It does matter. How could you even think for a second that Stephanie means more to me than you, April? You have got to be kidding. Come on.."

"Well, let's see. You took her on an actual date. That's more than we ever did. And apparently, you really rocked her world. Three times in one night. Wow, Jackman. Way to go." She gave him a thumbs up.

Jackson stood up and walked over to her. "I don't.. how do you even know this? April, look, it doesn't matter. I only took her on a date because you insisted, repeatedly, that I did. Honestly I'm surprised you didn't buy me a box a condoms while you were at it! You were pretty hell-bent on me moving on to someone else, for me to leave you alone."

She gasped at his crude remark. "You really have it all wrong, don't you? I told you to bring a date because I thought it would stop me from doing something embarrassing like throwing myself at you in the coat closet. I didn't think you would actually like her! Like her so much that you couldn't wait until you left the wedding to strip her down and have your way with her!"

"No.. that's not..."

"Do you have any idea how badly it hurt to see you like that with someone else, Jackson?" April couldn't stop the tears this time, try as she might. "I thought.. I thought that you really cared about me. I thought that what we had was real. And when you were talking about marriage and babies and wanting a life with me, I believed you!" She shouted, angrily wiped her face.

"I meant it!" He shouted back. Then he took a deep breath and lowered his tone. "I meant it, April."

"Really? Then why did you run for the hills as soon as we found out I wasn't pregnant? Oh, right, it was a sign. A sign we shouldn't be together, right?" She sniffed and wiped more fallen tears.

"What was I supposed to do, April?! I poured my heart out to you only to have you thanking God you didn't have to marry me or have my kid a few hours later. I thought I was doing what you wanted."

She let out a disbelieving sigh.

"Really? What I wanted? Yes, Jackson, I wanted you to pretend to care about me and pretend you wanted marry me and have a baby with me and then dump me when it turns out to be a false alarm! I was thanking God because I wasn't going to have to tell my preacher father that his daughter was pregnant out of wedlock! I was happy that we could just be together without adding an unplanned child to the mix. I didn't mean.. it didn't mean that I didn't want those things with you, I just wanted our timing to be better."

Jackson let our a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "I didn't know that." He said, barely above a whisper.

Her voice was equally as low. "How could you? The way to took off, you didn't give me a chance to explain. I admit that perhaps my initial reaction was over-the-top, and that I hurt you. But it was not my intention, Jackson, and I'm so sorry. But how could you ever think that I didn't want to be with you? I gave you a part of myself I will never get back. A part of myself I can never give to another person. And you made it seem.." she took a deep breath.. "you made it seem like it meant nothing to you."

Jackson stepped closer to her, only inches away. He placed his hand on her hip. "April.." he whispered, waiting for her to look at him. When she finally did, he continued. "It meant everything to me. I am so lucky you chose me. I don't know why you did, I definitely didn't deserve it, but I'm so honored that you did. Being with you... like that... was amazing, so amazing. You're amazing, you know that?" He cupped her cheek with his free hand, completely invading her space.

April stared into his beautiful eyes, getting lost in them as she had so many times before. But the images of that night wouldn't go away even if she desperately wanted them to. She sniffed and backed away from him, shaking her head.

"I think we just need some space."

Well, that's not what he wanted to hear. "Come on, we can still be friends.."

She shook her head again. "No, I cant. Not yet. Every time I look at you, all I see is the two of you in the back of your car, no matter how hard I try not to. I can't be your friend yet Jackson. I'm sorry."

Jackson dropped his head in defeat. He hated this, perhaps more than anything. Ever. But he would respect your wishes, for now. He would win her back in time. He just had to be patient. "You sure?"

April nodded sadly. "I'm sure."

He let out a disappointed sigh. "Look, Karev told me what happened that night.."

"It's fine. I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it." Her demeanor changed completely and she started to walk away from him.

"April.."

"I said I don't want to talk about it, ok?"

Another time then.

"Ok."

She looked at him for a brief moment. "I'm really tired, I think I'm gonna take a nap."

Jackson took that as his cue to leave. He started to walk towards her door but turned back around. He forgot. He pulled the envelope from his back pocket. "Wait, before I go, this is for you." He handed it to her.

April took the envelope, confused. "What's this?"

"A Christmas present. I got it for you before everything.. got so messed up. Just open it."

"But I didn't get you anything.."

"Just open it, please."

April tore open the envelope and pulled out the contents. She read it carefully and a huge smile graced her face. "Oh my God!"

Jackson smiled.

"Front row tickets to Justin Timberlake?! Jackson you shouldn't have.. oh my God!" She was beaming. Jackson knew without a doubt it was the best $600 he ever spent. Just to see that smile.

"I can't take these.."

"April, please take the tickets. I got them for you because I know how much you love him. I want you to go.. take Arizona or Meredith or whoever. But please go."

She smiled at him again and his heart bursted from the happiness it felt. April was really touched by the gift. "Ok. Thanks, Jackman."

"For you? Anytime."

They stood by the door staring at eachother. Neither wanted to part ways, but it was something that had to be done. "I guess I'll go then.. see you around?"

She nodded. "Yeah.. see ya around."

Jackson reached up and kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger longer than necessary. He gave her one last look before walking out and shutting the door behind him.