Warning: Language

February 11, 2003

"Tank, I can't do this. I can't. He's not here and I'm alone and I can't do this."

"No, Steph, you're not alone. We're all here for you. You'll be fine, the baby will be fine, and you'll do it."

Stephanie stared down at her bulging belly beneath the hospital gown she had been wearing for the past two days. She had a rough pregnancy and had gone into premature labor at only 8 months. Due to stress and dehydration, Stephanie woke that night to intense cramping pains. The men had set her up with an emergency button next to the bed and without hesitation, she slammed her hand down on it. She knew something was not right. Upon reaching the hospital, doctors told her that she was feeling contractions and that the safest thing for the two of them would be to deliver early, even though Mateo would be premature. That night was the start of many. After Mateo's birth, Stephanie and Mateo would not leave the hospital until March 9, 2003 when he was deemed strong enough to stand up to the world.

Tank nodded so that only Ranger could detect it and did as he was told. Detective Lewis looked questioningly over at Ranger, attempting to decipher the message exchanged between the two men. Run what? Frustrated with the secret correspondence, Detective Lewis cleared his throat and straightened his tie, scrutinizing Ranger with a grey, bushy brow. Ranger did not appreciate the expression but dismissed the man. The detective stood at 5'11, 190 lbs of flabby mush, salt and pepper hair, yellowing grey eyes, and an overall red complexion. Keep glaring, buddy and you're going to find yourself flat on your fat ass with my foot in your face. Ranger cleared his head and tuned back in to Detective Lewis.

"Mr. Manoso, we are working hard trying to find your son. If you have any information that may be useful, it is in Mateo's best interest that you share it with us. The note was very evasive and didn't give us much to go on except that your son is alive. Do you understand it, the number? Do you or Ms. Plum have any enemies that might want to hurt you? Anyone you may have angered?"

Was he kidding? His Babe contracted psychos and stalkers more often than the common cold. He had made so many enemies in his lifetime that you would be hard pressed to find someone who wasn't once angry with Ranger. He kept his blank face on and simply shook his head, though inside he was running a list of every FTA and delinquent he had dealt with in his days. If he was to get his son back alive, going through Detective Lewis and his team was not a good idea. In a normal situation for Stephanie and Ranger, playing these mind games would be necessary and vital for the apprehension. Now, Ranger wouldn't dare test the kidnapper who held his son. Detective Lewis would now just receive the same evasive, blank, unspecific answers that most people got when dealing with Ranger. With a nod and his business card, Lewis walked away and left Ranger to himself. He surveyed the hall again, the reality of the situation sweeping over once more as his guard was let down. Yellow CAUTION tape lined the walls, threaded around the doors, and sealed off Mateo's bedroom. The sight was sickening and Ranger felt nauseous, placing a hand to his stomach. Instead of scooping up his little boy in his arms, he was on the hunt for him. Ranger closed his eyes and turned, leaning his head back against the doorframe to the guest bedroom, the guilt too much for his already heavy heart. What he wouldn't give to hold Mateo, to crush him to his chest and hear his light laugh, to watch him sleep. Just the week before Ranger was teaching him how to tie his shoes, watching his little fingers handle the shoe laces to his own pair of CAT's.

"Daddy, what next?" Mateo looked intently up at his father as they sat on the black leather couch of their living room. Ranger was resting his forearms on his knees and leaning forward to guide Mateo's small hands around the boots. He held the laces between his fingertips and followed his father's directions.



"Over. Si Mateo, apenas como eso. Now the other loop."(just like that) Ranger watched as his son practiced tying his boot, his little tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth as he concentrated. He couldn't help but smile while his heart fluttered. He had never felt more love or devotion for something so small in his entire life. After Mateo pulled the last lace taught the smile on his face was irreplaceable. Mateo's smile was one of the only things that could keep Ranger from slipping back into his internal wars, it was as bright as Stephanie's. He beamed up at his father and bounced in his seat. The gleam in his piercing blue eyes shot through Ranger like a bullet and he couldn't help himself from pulling his son into his chest and onto his lap. Mateo's arms flew around his father's neck and he squeezed for all he was worth.

"I did it. I tried so hard yesterday with Mama but entonces ella tuvo que ir así que no podría acabar. Pero ahora lo hice." (then she had to go so I couldn't finish. But I did it now.)His little voice sounded through Ranger's ear and he pulled himself tighter against his father.

"Si, mi niño. You did it." Mateo wiggled himself free of Ranger's grasp and sat up on his lap. He looked like an exact replica of Ranger as a boy. His eyes were a different color but they had the same intense stare that sent a shiver through your body. Ranger rested a massive palm on each of his son's knees as Mateo recanted the story of how Stephanie had tried to teach him but was called off by Tank to do an emergency search while Ranger was doing business. Each word he spoke was like music as Ranger rested the back of his head against the couch and stared back at his precious gift. He had killed countless civilians, torn apart families, ruined lives, and destroyed entire villages. Yet as he listened to his Carlos Mateo speak, all of his actions seemed to make sense and he found a peace in the moment, feeling like maybe his life could have a meaning.

That cherished time he had with his son was priceless now. I forgot. If I turned them on, Mateo would be here. Mateo is kidnapped and hurt because I fucking forgot. I forgot. The sound of rustling sheets caught Ranger's attention. His head snapped in the direction of the sound to see Steph coming-to, her eyes fixed on the ceiling. One of the things he loved most about Steph was how expressive her face was. Every gorgeous feature of hers gave away exactly what she was feeling, whether she liked it or not, and now the emotions pouring from her eyes were enough to cripple him. He watched her horrified grimace return along with the steady stream of tears that washed down her glistening cheeks. Another shock wave of responsibility washed over him and his lungs felt water logged. He had hurt his son, and as he had watched Stephanie pass out from grief, he felt how strongly he had hurt her. Ranger had killed men for hurting his Babe, and their offenses were only half as bad as his. It was his fault that their son was taken and it was his fault that his fiancé was so miserably distraught that she couldn't support her own weight. Ranger stepped forward into the bedroom to Steph, the anguish on her face tearing at his chest. She sat up slowly and stared at him, confused, lost, miserable. He moved towards her on the bed, covering the floor beneath him in four easy strides. He sat down beside her and wrapped both arms around her shaking body as she curled herself into his chest. Ranger leaned over and with one arm, hooked her legs over his lap and pulled her on top of him, cradling her with the other arm. Steph sobbed softly against Ranger's chest and almost brought tears to his eyes. He fought with everything he had to keep his blank face on and keep the lump in his throat from erupting. Their son was missing, his walls were washed in blood. Stephanie was a sobbing mess in his arms and it was all his fault. He shook his head softly and buried his face in Steph's neck, nuzzling her curls before kissing her just below her ear.

"Tienes que ser fuerte, mi amor. Para Mateo. Él necesita a su madre ser fuerte así que ella puede luchar para él. Tienes que ser fuerte. Mateo te necesita, yo te necesita." (You have to be strong, my love. For Mateo. He needs his mother to be strong so she can fight for him. You have to be strong. Mateo needs you, I need you.)He muttered softly in sweet Spanish, reassuring his love in his careful embrace. She nodded softly against his shoulder and sniffed, forcing her tears to stop. Ranger's heart tightened as she was calmed. He had at least done something right. Knowing he hurt her so much was unbearable. Almost as unbearable as the pain he felt from knowing he could have prevented what had happened. After a few minutes, Ranger's phone vibrated in his pocket. He shifted her on his lap so that he could reach it and he flipped it open, looking at the caller ID first. Tank.

"Talk."



"Trace came back with the blood samples. Pork." Ranger's heart skipped a beat at that and he squeezed Stephanie a little tighter. So there was no way it was Mateo's blood in the room. Stephanie was still leaning on his shoulder so she could hear every words spoken between the two. Ranger heard her breath catch in her throat and felt her shudder with relief. Ranger cleared his throat and thought about the evidence.

"Scare tactic."

"Exactly. And we ran the number. We didn't get anything. But Lester's running it through a few more systems we picked up."

They disconnected and Ranger let out a deep breath as they both stood up. Stephanie was still wearing the outfit she had put on after waking up next to Ranger, before going downstairs to cook breakfast, before finding her son's room showered in blood and empty. She had on her bikini with a pair of cotton shorts. Her bare shoulders and stomach were laced with goose bumps and she shivered slightly in the air conditioning pumping through the house. Ranger didn't think twice before picking her up and tucking her head under his chin to take her back into their bedroom. If she walked past the scene in the hallway, he knew for sure her legs would betray her. Once in their bedroom, Ranger went to work at the dresser and found her one of his sweatshirts, the same black Rangeman hoodie that she had worn on the way up from Trenton. He slipped it over her head and she put her arms through, staring at their feet, her eyes distant and her expression vacant. Ranger lifted her chin with his index finger and searched her face, reaching around her with his other hand to press her close to his body. Something was brewing in that head of hers but he couldn't figure out what it was. He knew she was worried to the point of fainting but she had a different look about her now. He raised a brow in question and waited for it.

"How can we not know? Our baby. How can we not know?" She whispered painfully to him and searched him for an answer. Her face twisted back into the same grimace that had made him nauseous earlier. He knew exactly what she meant. How could they not have any idea who would have done this? Because I forgot. Ranger felt that same hand tear through his chest and grab onto his heart, squeezing the life out of him. Stephanie looked up at Ranger through glistening lashes and then past him at the wall, still thinking. Ranger's jaw clenched as he fought with himself over whether he deserved to live or not after this. Stephanie's expression changed briefly and her blue eyes darted back to Ranger's.

"The tapes, from his camera. What's on the tapes?" She sounded slightly hopeful, but her voice still had the same dejected drone of a whisper. He couldn't look her in the eye. How could he possibly look her in the eye when the answer to her question was so hurtful. Yet he could never lie to her. Ranger dropped his hands from her body and he took a step back from her so that there was ample room between them.

"There aren't any tapes, Babe. I never turned the cameras on. I forgot." Ranger's eyes were on the floor and his arms were crossed over his chiseled chest. The coward in him that had never been there before let his eyes linger on the floor for a moment longer before he finally got enough courage to see Steph's reaction. He should have looked at the ground longer. Stephanie looked as though she might throw up. Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to find words, but nothing could come out. She just stood there, horrified, grimacing as she stared at Ranger before finding the ability to form words.

"What? You forgot? I...you…Ma-…what?" Stephanie's voice never got higher than a whisper but her words alone were more cutting than any volume. Ranger stared back at her, not blinking. What could he possibly say? He had no excuse for his actions and no words of apologies could bring Mateo back. The guilt he felt couldn't compare to any pain he had ever experienced. He thought he would never be able to breathe the same again.

"Yeah, I fucked up. I forgot to turn on his camera." Ranger unfolded his arms and let out a heavy breath. He stood in front of Steph, vulnerable and feeling horribly accountable.

"You forgot. Jesus Christ, Ranger. You forgot. I know you've been having memory problems but you forgot to turn on our son's camera? You knew you had a memory problem since you've been home and you never asked for help, because of your pride. Well I'm glad you have your pride because my fucking son is gone, Ranger. What's your 

pride going to do about it?" Stephanie shook her head slowly and the tears began to flow again. The thought that Mateo could be safe in their arms had he remembered, it made her quiver. It stung Ranger's heart to hear her call him anything but Carlos. When she broke up with Morelli seven years ago, they were swept into a romantic love affair, hopelessly in love and together. They were together two years before Ranger left, and in that time, she only referred to him as Carlos. Her knees began to shake and she moved to the bed, just as Ranger followed behind to catch her.

"Don't touch me." She put a hand up in front of her in his direction, looking at the floor. Ranger stopped in his tracks and sighed silently through a clenched jaw. The tears continued to pour down Stephanie's cheeks and she leaned forward, resting her weight on her knees. Millions of thoughts passed through her head before it was unbearable for her to be around him anymore. She shook her head and finally raised her gaze to her fiancé.

"Get out. Get the fuck out." She wasn't whispering anymore. Her voice was flat and eerily calm as she spoke such harsh words to Ranger. He gave her an almost imperceptible nod and turned. He deserved that and didn't expect anything less. The pain from her words almost felt enjoyable, like he deserved to feel so miserable and guilty. If only he could take Mateo's place.

Stephanie's body shook with sobs as she thought about what had just happened and the information given to her by the man who swore to protect their son. Her heart ached at the thought that this all could have been prevented, that Ranger had let her son be taken away. She watched as Ranger walked out of their bedroom and in to the hall. His shoulders sagged and were rounded slightly, his head hung too low for a man of his caliber. He was still thin, still too weak, still scarred and tainted. Something inside her sparked as she watched him. He was still just as broken as the day he came back. Why would Ranger let anyone take their son? He was such an amazing father. Every day he spent with Mateo since his return was like a scene from a movie. He taught Mateo how to be a gentleman, how to take care of himself, how to ride a bike, how to tie his shoes. The past two months had been surreal and no child could ever ask for a better father than Ranger. Stephanie sniffled back her tears and stood. Her son was taken from her and she couldn't afford to lose the love of her life, either.

"No, Carlos…" He was in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe, his back to her. She watched his shoulders stiffen at her voice, then he turned. Her stomach turned in knots. The expression on his face made her feel the same way he had once he saw hers. She never thought someone so beautiful could look so dreadfully ugly. His tired face held the same weary look it did the day he came home. Tired, beaten, defeated, guilty, miserable. Her eyes softened and she stepped towards him, closing the gap between them. He met her half way and they crashed into each other. Stephanie's head resumed the position as always, tucked under his chin and resting on his chest, her arms tight around his neck. Ranger held her close and ran his hands over her back, his face buried in her neck.

"Babe." The man of many words didn't have to say anything else. In that one syllable, Stephanie heard ten million I'm sorry's and thousands of Please forgive me's.

"I'm so sorry. No signifiqué eso. No es tu avería, mi amor." (I didn't mean that. It's not your fault.) The ease in which she whispered Spanish to him set his heart on fire and calmed his shaky hands. It felt so natural and right, even though her skin was as milky and pale as the paper he wrote out his vows on the week before he had even proposed. She raised her head and looked up into his pained chocolate gaze with hers. Releasing one of her hands from around his neck, Steph removed the tie that held back his hair. It fell loosely around his neck, brushing against her arms as she held herself close to him. He seemed to relax at her touch as they stared at each other, conveying fears and emotions without words. They both loved their son equally and to put a blame on either would be ridiculous. Well, Stephanie thought that anyway. Ranger was still debating if Mateo would be better off with his father dead or alive. He was leaning towards the first option. Did he deserve to live? Did he deserve to have his family? He would find Mateo, risk his life for it, but would he be so selfish as to stick around after? No, he wouldn't commit suicide, something so juvenile and dishonorable in his eyes. Mateo would need financial support and so would his mother. Stephanie released his gaze and kissed Ranger's smooth lips softly, still silently apologizing for the horrible words she had spoken. It felt good to have her kiss him again, but he knew in his heart that it was still his fault. The tears started to pour again and she whispered against his lips, words mixing with her fallen tears.



"Bring my baby back." Ranger fisted her curls and pressed her closer to him as a sign of acknowledgement. He wanted nothing more than to have their son back.

The house had been emptied, save for the sea of Merry Men Ranger had put together. To find his son, Ranger wouldn't trust the feds or the uniforms to handle any serious information. Tank had given them some fake leads to go on to stay out of their way. If they followed through with the names, the New York State Police would be in California hunting down a kidnapper that Cal had killed years ago but never reported it. The men in black sat at the kitchen table, all in front of laptops staring at the screen, picking through the search results. Phones were ringing, pagers buzzing, Blackberries chirping, alive with the sound of the search for Mateo. Ranger, Tank, Hal, Lester, Bobby, Cal, Ram, all sat tense and alert with their eyes peeled on the screens while rattling off names and numbers.

Stephanie was not at the table. She stood at the back door, numb and cold, staring out the sliding glass door with a shirt of Mateo's in her arms. Her mind had been racing as she tried to think of anyone…anyone who could possibly want their son. 34801923… Steph's thoughts soon drifted to happier times.

Ranger had been back for three weeks and it was the first time in those three weeks that he had left the Rangeman building. Stephanie was desperate to get her Carlos back and collaborated ideas with Tank to bring Batman out of his shadows. So there they sat, in a car on the Ferris Wheel at the boardwalk, enjoying the ride for a few hours. Stephanie had remembered the places she went to every time she felt depressed and decided on taking him to the shore, since Ranger wouldn't feel the comfort she felt from the Batcave. The funnel cakes, salty air, screeching of the lonely gulls in the early mornings of summer. It all reminded Steph of calm and that was what Ranger needed.

Little Mateo sat on his father's lap facing him, playing with Ranger's dog tags that still hung around his neck while asking him questions about his life. The entire day, Ranger's eyes never left his son's face. The boy had a power over him and he was hooked. A horn sounded off in the distance, a barge signaling its presence on the horizon as it pulled into port.

"Stand up, Mateo. You can see the ships on the water." Ranger turned his attention from his son briefly to nod toward the ocean view from the side of their metal car. Mateo's exquisite blue eyes widened and he shook his head furiously. Surprised at his reaction, Ranger raised a brow in question.

"Por qué no?" Ranger's gaze met Mateo's as he waited for his reasoning. As a boy, Ranger distinctly remembered getting himself into countless accidents and dangerous situations. The plastic surgeons at the hospital knew him by name and he had gotten over 300 stitches by the time he was nine. From what he understood from Stephanie, Mateo was exactly like his father and even shared her dream to fly. Apparently he had practiced one day off the roof of Tank's F-450 while they were doing some work in the garage. That got him a trip to the emergency room and a pat on the back from the Merry Men.

"I'll fall." Mateo was genuinely afraid of standing up and held onto Ranger's shoulders for dear life. So he wasn't afraid of jumping off of a truck, but the height of the Ferris Wheel tamed the boy. Ranger furrowed his brow and shook his head softly.

"No, Mateo. Nunca te dejo caerse, never." (No, Mateo. I will never let you fall) Ranger felt Mateo's grip loosen gradually from his shoulders and watched as his expression changed from that of fear to confidence. He nodded and stood on the seat next to Ranger, smiled brightly at the sight of the barges coming into port on the coastline while warming his father's frigid heart. Ranger kept a protective hand both on Mateo's stomach and back and watched his face for any sign of fear. His son's luminous smile was unwavering as his small hands held onto the hand that Ranger had splayed across his stomach.

The sound of a fist slamming down on to the table top snapped Stephanie out of her trance. Lester stood up swiftly, pushing his chair back and picking up his laptop simultaneously.



"I got it. 34801923, Harrison Wolf. Age 27, 6'5, 240 lbs, Navy SEAL. Left on a Special Ops mission five years ago, never came back." The men gathered around Lester's screen and reread the information already spoken, as if it would further the validity. Ranger nodded once and immediately started giving orders to search for the soldier's family. Harrison Wolf would be the missing link between Ranger and his son.