Important:
I know it's been a while...okay, a long while but I have many excuses which are numerous in quantity and tedious in quality. Anyway I would like to point out that I wrote this chapter about four months ago when I should have updated but due to unforeseen circumstances the bloody thing went mysteriously missing. I was so angry that I, quite frankly, could not be bothered re-writing the chapter. Any way a funny thing happened the other day—well funny from my dad's point-of-view, decidedly mortifying on my part. I made an of-hand comment about my friends little dog, which happens to be a particularly annoying specimen, to my dad. Anyway it turns out that that missing document had not gone missing at all and was in fact hidden in my dad's folders under a different name. He had had quite a little laugh over it and after four months I was not quite sure as to the contents of the document and was more than a little worried. If you remember what the rest of this story was about (after four months I won't blame you if you don't) you might understand my apprehension at him seeing the story. Anyway to end my own little novel-worthy author's note I might just add that I think my dad is no-longer in such denial as to just how much his little girl knows. Oh an sorry to anyone who likes little dogs.
I apologise in advance to any offence caused by any remarks about small dogs—they are all for the worthy cause of writing.
Disclaimer: I really can't be bothered and I think its safe to assume that you can all tell the difference between my shoddy and four months late work and Tammy's year late work (Is anyone else annoyed about that? A car crash is a better excuse than mine though).
"Shinko—Shinko—." Yukumi said impatiently tapping Shinko on the shoulder, readjusting the dog on her lap to reach, "Look how cute she is. Watch this--." At this pointYuki made a ridiculous choking sound that Shinko supposed was meant to sound like one of those ludicrous, annoying, ratty, ridiculous little dogs. The dog began shivering scaredy and jumped from Yuki's lap and onto that of the person sitting next to her—which just happened to be that of Shinko.
"Isn't she beautiful?" Shinko plastered a smile onto her face and nodded giggling a little for effect. In truth, she hated the little dogs that the court ladies had taken to carrying around—personally she found disease carrying rats to be a more attractive pet. Even Yuki had taken carried one everywhere and felt the need to point out every little, ridiculous thing it did.
"Watch this, it is the most gorgeous thing" Yuki said beginning to make more ridiculous, strangled noises to the thing sitting on Shinko's lap.
Once again the stupid rat began shivering with fright. For a split-second Shinko even felt sorry for it—either Yuki found its terrified shivering funny or she genuinely thought it was quivering with delight—for a second. It was but a fleeting feeling of pity for the petrified dog, a millisecond of sympathy for the upstart hound. About a nanosecond after the thought entered her mind, however, the stupid mongrel peed on her.
Yuki took it off her lap, put it on the floor, and began scolding it in a silly high voice paying no notice to her wet best friend.
From the other side of the room Mia saw Shinko's foot twitch as the dog was put on the ground and, knowing her mother's sentiments on all small dogs, suspected she was just restraining herself from kicking the dog across the room. This little show was funny enough that Mia managed to sit though the rest of morning tea with the twittering court ladies, just in the hope of a repeat. Even if the morning had been otherwise uneventful it had given her an idea.
That night while… dancing with the married Tyran ambassador Mia casually suggested that Queen Shinkokami would appreciate a peace offering of a small, yappy and incontinent (AN: look it up) lap dog instead of the customary jewels.
Shinko stood impatiently waiting for the Tyran ambassador to finish his ridiculously long and boring speech and get the gift-giving over. She looked around to her ladies assembled behind her, many with an ugly dog running around their feet. Yuki's had donned a pink tutu in the time since she had last seen it, it sat in a very ungraceful position chewing the straps and skirt tho remove it. Once again Shinko almost felt sorry for the demeaned dog, until she came to her senses and remember the last time she had almost felt sorry for it.
The ambassador paused in his speech and motioned to his side. Two servants approached carrying something caged.
"To you fair Shinkokami; King François presents a gift signifying our desire for ongoing peace and prosperity between our two countries," he said as the servants handed the rattling cage to Shinko.
Shinko came up with a plan. The Tyrans would be leaving tomorrow until which time she would feign delight in the silly dog, once they had safely boarded the boat the dog might accidentally disappear—perhaps finding itself in the middle of the Gallan mountains where it would find itself taken in by a generous family of squirrels. She came up with her genius plan all while she was asleep (would you believe?). However, she was soon woken from that sleep with the arrival of her new pet who had evidently decided that on top of her mistress would be a comfy place sleep. She climbed onto a cushion and then onto a draw which led onto Shinko's prized kimono and onto her green silk ball gown for the following day's ball, digging it's paws into the precious material to claw it's way up. Finally it arrived at the bed where it sat on top of Roald's arm which was lying across Shinko's stomach. With the sudden increase of weight he moved his hand subconsciously away leaving the rat sitting on her stomach.
She woke soon to look into the eyes of the ugly dog. While sitting there contemplating how best to rid herself of the dog she actually took it in for the first time and realised…that it really was the most ugly thing she had ever been unfortunate enough to lay eyes on. Hairless and complete with popping eyes and ears the size of the rest of its body put together. Shinko once again felt sorry for the little creature, she pitied just how ugly and brainless it was and thanked the gods that every time she looked into the mirror (which was often—see she is Mia's mother) she didn't have something like that look back at her. She felt so much pity for the ugly, brainless-stupid mutt that, instead of kicking it, like she had planned, she picked it up and placed it gently on the ground. As she stepped back into bed she turned her head slightly and saw out of the corner of her eye her favourite lily printed kimono and mint green ball gown. They were ruined, littered with holes from it's claws and even ripped, but that wasn't the worst of it—the Tyrans really had managed to chose the most incontinent dog alive.
Needless to say, she was furious, livid, fuming, enraged, irate—murderous (synonyms really are a wonderful thing). But, instead of allowing herself to loose face in court by murdering the stupid mutt. She calmly picked up her glaive and started to shoo the thing out closing the door on it as it left the room.
But that was not enough. It soon began to whine and scratch the door at which point Shinko came up with a desperate—but evil plan that would kill two birds with one stone.
She hurried up the corridor in just her nightgown holding the annoying hound. Quietly she unlocked Mia's door bypassing her magical charms to deter intruders which Shinko herself had put there.
Shinko crept up to Mia's dresser (passing Mia and, she suspected, the earl of Butress) on which her gowns for tomorrow's festivities were placed waiting to be donned. She sat the dog on top of an emerald green gown (sound familiar) and left the room willing the dog to do its worst.
Not only had Shinko successfully rid herself of the dog for the night, but she had also managed to punish Mia for her part in Dylan's Debutante plot and inadvertently for the suggestion of giving her the dog in the first place. Shinko was happy to the point of giggles despite the loss her two most precious dresses.
Shinko's ladies stood in the great hall, each holding a little dog and preparing to leave for a walk of which you apparently required a small dog to warrant invitation.
"Are you coming?" Yuki asked.
"No, I would love to but unfortunately Mia has my dog and goddess only knows what she's doing with it." Shinko said quite truthfully. Yuki scrunched up her face suspiciously and prepared to leave.
As the ladies opened the doors to exit Shinko's favourite daughter and beloved husband approached with a less than welcome passenger.
"Now you can come Shinko. Would you like to come also Mia?" Yuki told Shinko as Mia handed over the dog. Mia was glad for the invitation but it was largely unrequired for she had planned to follow anyway.
"I'm afraid Mia will have to go in my stead for Roald and I are both to be in attendance of an important meeting this morning, aren't we Roald" Shinko said inventing the meeting out of nowhere, glaring at him over Yuki's shoulder to get the point across.
He did not do what a good husband would do and just agree, nor did he—thankfully—do what a bad husband would and deny the meeting altogether; instead he said politely, with a gentle kiss and a scheming smirk (she now knew where Dylan had got that from), "Its quite alright Shinko the meeting is not vital I can handle it myself, besides you have been working far too hard lately." Shinko glared, he might find himself sleeping on the couch tonight—if it wasn't too cold.
So without further ado they set of for their walk, Roald waving at the door like a wife seeing her man off to war, and at that moment Shinko felt like a doomed soldier (her children had inherited their over dramatic tendencies from their mother).
However, Shinko's worry was all in vain for indeed barely two minutes into the walk her torture came to an abrupt end.
"Oh isn't she just the most beautiful thing," Mia said in a baby voice gesturing to the mutt in Shinko's arms—well not really in her arms because Shinko had mad a point to let the smelly little creature touch as little of her skin as possible, and was as such holding it by the skin of it's neck with two fingers (it was only about the size of her hand). Mia didn't like the dog any more than her mother, especially after it had ruined her two new ball gowns, however her constant commentary irritated her mother immensely and her secondary purpose in life was to annoy her mother to no end, her first being to sleep with every married man in the court.
"If you like it so much you carry it," hissed Shinko, thrusting it into Mia's arms.
Mia took advantage of the situation and decided to play the dog for maximum irritation. She lifted it above her head under the armpits and began to baby talk to it; she bought it down towards her nose and began to kiss it. Shinko couldn't believe it, even Mia's standards have got to be higher than a dog, but then she thought of some of the hideous married men Mia had been with. They were probably comparable to dogs Thinking of this made her realise that those lips had been to far worse places than this dog—a train of thought she wanted to end there, her imagination was getting carried away.
In the time it had taken Shinko to think of this the dog had evidently grown tired of Mia's childish antics. As she lowered it to her face it struck. Time seemed to go in slow motion. All the ladies gathered around in a circle and collectively gasped. Shinko on the other hand laughed. She suddenly loved this dog.
The dog had latched onto Mia's nose sinking its teeth in. Shinko turned around and saw some of the younger ladies smiling, evidently hoping she would have a scar form it and that all her suitors would turn to them.
Shinko suddenly realised she could use this to her advantage. Fortunately everyone had been too shocked to here Shinko's malevolent laughter so her next move did not come as a surprise.
The very picture of a distressed mother, she pushed past her ladies and cradled her little girl in her arms. Mia wasn't even crying, she merely had a murderous look on her face and a slight bit of blood around her nose.
"For Mithros sake cry Mia, the Tyrans are walking this way," Shinko hissed. Mia, knowing that when she cried she looked unbelievably gorgeous, promptly burst into tears. As soon as she did Shinko screamed out, in what she believed sounded like a superior-queen tone of voice, "Get them away from my baby, I want to see no more of those vicious hounds in the presence of my family or myself," and began to lead her daughter back to the castle.