o0o

Get Iruka pregnant. Kakashi shook his head, trying to get over the weirdness of it all. His feet had meandered him back to the memorial stone and he smiled wryly to himself. Iruka had been right in calling him a morbid bastard. It seemed he couldn't break the habit. But I really can't ask him to do that for me. It's too much.

Even in his own mind he was unsure how much of his reluctance was the fact that asking your new lover to change their gender for you is pushing the boundaries of fairness and the fact that he was afraid Iruka would say no.

Truthfully, he was also afraid that Iruka would say yes. In the week he'd been given to pick a partner he'd resigned himself to the fact that somewhere along the line he'd have to produce an heir, and prepared himself as much as he could for that fact. He hadn't really succeeded, but he'd managed to get his mind around the sex-with-the-intention-to-produce-offspring and partner-with-growing-belly parts. That is, if his partner was a woman. He usually prided himself on his ability to think through the possible outcomes of every situation – he was no Nara, but he was certainly close – but he hadn't even considered that he would be asked to impregnate his male partner.

And why should I have, he thought irritably. As far as I know it's never been done before, and it's a ridiculous notion in the first place. Tsunade-sama can't have thought this through. Whatever drugs she's going to give him will probably make the baby retarded, which defeats the purpose of having one.

Sensing someone coming he wandered away from the stone, pushing chakra into his feet and walking up one of the large trees scattered around the edge of the clearing. He swung his legs over a branch and leaned against the trunk, feeling slightly guilty for spying on someone who was paying their respects for the dead but not wanting to have to make forced, polite conversation.

He was almost surprised to see Kurenai, who was carrying a squirming Hiruzen and a bunch of pink roses. Kurenai set the kid down beside the stone, careful to keep the roses away from him, and stroked his head gently. Hiruzen toddled forward a couple of steps before falling backwards onto his rump, a surprised look on his face. Undeterred, he stumbled forwards again and pressed his chubby hands against the flat face of the memorial, burbling happy nonsense while his mother looked on with a sad smile.

He's going to grow up to look a lot like Asuma, Kakashi thought, studying the child critically with his lone gray eye. There's something in the shape of his face, not to mention his bull-headed determination. I wonder what a child would look like with my and Iruka's genes.

Though he was unwilling to admit it, the idea of having a child with Iruka appealed to him on some absurd level. Hopefully the kid would get all of Iruka's emotional, caring side – for it's own good as well as being a big 'fuck you' to the village elders. If the child were like Iruka it would never be able to become an emotionless killer like they wanted, like he was. In his mind he had already decided that he would give his life for this imaginary child to be able to have a proper childhood, if it came to that. He absolutely refused to raise a child the way he had been raised – not that he had any idea how to raise a child anyway. That was where Iruka really came in handy. The man seemed like he was born to be a parent, and he'd even managed to mold Naruto into a somewhat normal human being, which was an achievement in itself.

Kurenai had crouched down behind her child and was guiding his chubby fingers along the characters for the name Sarutobi Asuma. "This is your daddy's name, Hiru-chan," she said softly. "He was a good shinobi and a good man. You're going to grow up big and strong like him."

"Babby," Hiruzen cried, giggling, and wedged his fist into his mouth.

Kurenai gave a slightly exasperated chuckle and tugged it out, getting baby drool all over her hand. "That's right, baby. Daddy."

Hiruzen gave her a gratuitous smile and promptly returned his fingers to his mouth.

"Dirty," his mother scolded lightly, setting the roses down against the stone and hoisting him up against her chest, pulling on his hand once more and earning herself a baby-faced frown. She gave the memorial stone a last, lingering look before turning back to the child in her arms, giving him a bright smile. "Does Hiru-chan want to visit cousin Konohamaru?"

Hiruzen gigged and clapped his hands. "Kou-ru!"

"We'll do that then, won't we," Kurenai cooed at him, and sent an amused smile towards Kakashi's tree before ambling back the way she'd come.

Kakashi leaned his head back against the tree and closed his eyes. What's wrong with me? I could have sworn I was hiding my chakra. I must be losing my touch.

But still, children do have an undeniable charm. Iruka's kid would be even more charming, I bet. I don't want to get attached to something so small and defenseless. It could be used against me.

o0o

Iruka dug his way to the back of the cupboard, humming quietly to himself. He didn't know when – or even if – Kakashi was coming back, but he was making dinner for two anyway. If the stupid jōnin refused to show his stupid head around here again then, well, Iruka wouldn't have to make dinner tomorrow night, would he? He could just have leftovers.

Something wet brushed against the back of his calf and he almost jumped, doing his best to calm his pounding heart before turning around.

"Hey, hey, Iruka-sensei? Is some of that for us?"

Iruka scratched his nose nervously. "I, well, what do you guys usually eat?"

He'd told Pakkun he wanted a dog, yes, but he hadn't been prepared for Kakashi's entire pack at the same time. The weight of sixteen bright, watchful eyes all staring at him at once was a little too much, and not something he felt he'd get used to in a hurry. Especially when they all insisted on following him into his kitchen and then sat there drooling, watching his every move. Dinner for two he could do. Dinner for ten… not so much.

Bisuke rubbed one paw over the other and looked at the floor mournfully. "Well, we usually live off the scraps of meat we can pull off bones people have chucked out in the garbage. Kakashi doesn't feed us very well." The rest of the pack adopted their best sad puppy expressions.

"You live on a different plane. I'm not supposed to feed you, you self-serving mutts. And if you can't manage to catch your own dinner then you don't even deserve to be labeled ninken," Kakashi growled, pushing through the sea of dogs blocking the entrance to the kitchen.

Bisuke took one look at him and disappeared in a puff of smoke. The rest of the dogs cringed, except for Pakkun, who snorted. "It's not like you can even cook, Kakashi."

Kakashi ignored him and kept striding forward to peer over Iruka's shoulder. His eyes widened when he saw what was on the stove. "Is that what I think it is?" he asked in a low voice.

Iruka, who'd been shocked into standing still, unfroze and scratched awkwardly at his scar, embarrassed. "Well, you said it was your favourite food. I should have guessed you were just making fun of me again but I thought it might actually be so I wanted to make it."

Kakashi stared at him, an unfathomable expression in his eye. "No, it really is my favourite food," he said slowly, and then added in a lighter voice, "Maa, this wouldn't be a bribe, would it? To get me to come back?"

Iruka blushed scarlet and cursed the fact that his skin was so responsive. "No, it's not. I just had the ingredients and remembered you liked it. I was more thinking that if you didn't come back I would have the pleasure of knowing you were missing out on something."

Kakashi chuckled, pleasantly surprised. He liked that Iruka had a bit of bite to him. "Maa, what a vengeful man you are, Sensei."

Ūhei cleared his throat, bringing the attention of the two men back to the fact that there were currently seven dogs crowding Iruka's tiny kitchen, and sniffed the air delicately. "What exactly are you making, Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka swiveled his gaze to the bandaged dog, thankful to have something to focus on that wasn't a crazed jōnin set on embarrassing him. "It's miso soup with eggplant," he explained. "This is my mother's recipe."

The ninken all averted their eyes, except for Bull, who let his tongue loll out of his mouth and kept gazing at Iruka with big eyes.

"Eggplant," Shiba snorted. "What is the point of a meal with vegetables in it?"

"Oi, shut up Shiba," Urushi hissed, nipping the other dog's shoulder. "Iruka-sensei can cook whatever disgusting meal he likes."

Iruka looked at Kakashi. Kakashi looked back and shrugged. "Good manners don't come naturally to them, they're dogs. They're not going to be eating anyway." He turned his attention back to the ninken and narrowed his eyes. "Shoo."

They all stared back at him.

Kakashi growled. "If you don't leave nicely then I will forcibly dismiss you, and you remember what that feels like, don't you?"

All seven dogs cringed, and Guruko gazed imploringly at Iruka with big eyes. "You see how he treats us? It's summon cruelty, it is."

Iruka crouched down and patted his head consolingly. "He's just in a bit of a bad mood, that's all. You guys do need to go though, because Kakashi and I need to be alone for a while, okay?"

Shiba scratched his head with his back foot. "Oh, are you going to mate? You should have said so before."

Iruka was quickly turning an alarming shade of red, and Kakashi couldn't tell if he was angry or embarrassed. The dogs, however, had managed to figure out that no matter which it was it was a dangerous colour, and wisely decided to mumble their goodbyes and disappear as soon as possible.

Kakashi stared at the spot where his pack had been and felt a strange sense of foreboding. I should probably have let them stay. Being alone with Iruka is almost more terrifying.

Iruka turned back to the stove, stirring the soup lazily, Kakashi watching out of the corner of his eye. "Am I actually allowed some of that?" the jōnin asked tentatively. It smelled good, and it was his favourite food.

"Yes," Iruka said shortly, not looking up.

The shirt he was wearing was tight across his chest, and Kakashi felt his gaze dropping down to imagine that nicely toned stomach bulging out in pregnancy. His gaze dropped lower and he started to imagine a nude pregnant Iruka – too weird – until Iruka smacked him on the back of the head with his wooden spoon.

"Oi! Get your mind out of the gutter."

Kakashi rubbed his head reflexively, and gave a shut-eye smile. "Maa, wouldn't dream of it, Sensei." If only you knew what I was actually thinking about.

Iruka sighed and shook his head. "You're deplorable, you know that? And yes, you may have some, but not –" he whacked the back of Kakashi's questing fingers, "Not before it's finished cooking. You'll burn your tongue."

Kakashi rubbed his now sore fingers with his other hand and pouted. "You didn't have to hit me that hard."

"Grow up," Iruka muttered, stirring the soup with much more force than necessary.

"You're just mad because I left you alone last night, aren't you?" Kakashi retorted unthinkingly, and then cursed his brain for saying it. Last night was not something he wanted to talk about. Why couldn't he have picked a safe topic?

Iruka frowned down at the pot and shook his head. "No. I didn't expect you to run off like that, but I didn't exactly have high expectations in the first place. I'm disappointed, but I'm not mad."

Disappointed. Kakashi shivered a little in his head. Minato had often been disappointed with him, and it had bothered him a lot more than the times his sensei had shouted at him. Minato had had a special face he'd use every time he'd talk down to his teammates or overestimate his own ability, a look that said, Kakashi, you know better than this. Iruka wasn't even looking at him, but he could feel the chūnin's annoyance at his behavior radiating off him.

"I didn't intend to leave like that," he said shortly, unable to formulate a proper apology.

Iruka took it for what it was, an unspoken sorry, and smiled gently at him, meeting his gaze for what seemed like the first time. "Thank you."

Kakashi smiled back as genuinely as he could before realizing the gesture would go unnoticed because of the mask. He touched his cloth-covered cheek uneasily. At some point I'm going to have to show him my face. Things are progressing in a strange way already; I spent the night with him and I came back. I don't even know why I came back, and I don't think he expected me to. He must think I'm a complete asshole. "Izumo said I shouldn't have blindfolded you," he added, causing Iruka to frown.

"You talked to Izumo about having sex with me?" the chūnin asked slowly, almost as if he couldn't believe it. "You ran away to do that?"

Kakashi shrugged, and took a small step backwards. "Is that a bad thing?"

Iruka blinked at him. "Is that a bad thing?" he repeated. "A bad thing? Kakashi-san, there are so many things wrong with that that I can't even imagine what compelled you to do it in the first place. Actually, scratch that, I do know why you did it. You did it because you wanted to find out more about me, right?"

Kakashi nodded. "You've slept with him before," he pointed out unnecessarily.

Iruka gritted his teeth. "And doesn't that give you a reason not to talk to him about us?"

Kakashi frowned. "No?"

"Yes." Iruka was seconds away from throwing the wooden spoon at him. "Izumo and I were sleeping together for three years. In that period of time you gain a certain amount of affection for your partner, whether or not you ever loved each other. He's alone now, and upset, and you think that flaunting your relationship with me in his face is not a bad thing? Think about how other people feel, for once."

"Oh." Kakashi scratched the back of his head awkwardly. He hadn't even thought about that, and now he felt slightly guilty. "I didn't realize."

Iruka sighed heavily. "Of course you didn't. Just try not to make his life any more miserable than it already is, okay? If you have any questions, ask me and I'll do my best to answer them for you."

Kakashi swallowed nervously. "I think I already did," he said quietly.

"Did what?" Iruka frowned.

"Make him miserable?" Kakashi said tentatively.

Iruka's expression darkened further. "How," he said, and it came out as an order rather than a question.

"Maa, I may have accidentally told everyone in the mission room that he was gay?" Kakashi transferred most of his weight to his right leg, all the better to defend himself from any fists that may or may not be aimed at his face in the near future.

"Including Kotetsu," Iruka said flatly, looking for affirmation, and Kakashi nodded mutely. Iruka sighed and rubbed at his forehead tiredly. "I suppose you actually did him a favour with that one. It's something 'Tetsu needed to know and 'Zumo wasn't about to spill that secret himself."

Kakashi let his muscles relax a fraction. Iruka glared. "That doesn't mean you had any right to do it, baka. It's going to take a lot of comforting on my part to get him to leave the house now."

Kakashi took a deep breath, preparing himself to apologise properly, his nostrils sucking up a scent he was – regrettably – all too familiar with. "Are you burning the miso soup?"

Iruka's eyes widened and he spun around quickly, but not quite fast enough. "Shit!" He pulled the pot off the element and stared at the soup as if willing it to go back to a normal texture and colour. "I didn't even know it was possible to burn soup."

Kakashi scratched the back of his head self-consciously and decided it was probably best not to mention that burning soup was something he did on a near regular basis. "Yeah, well, you learn something new every day."

"Hn." Iruka huffed, glared at the pot, and then set it down on one of the elements he hadn't been using. "Well, I suppose we'll be having ramen for dinner."

"I don't have a problem with that," Kakashi said easily. "Ichiraku do take-out, right?"

"Mmhmm." Iruka brushed past him and picked up a phone from his living room floor, already dialing the number. "You're hoping to bypass Naruto if we eat it here, right? You should know that if he's there when Teuchi receives our order that sly old man will give it to him to deliver it."

"Well, you're not obligated to let him in the door."

Iruka sent him a half-hearted glare. "I'm not going to turn him away if he's so desperate for company that he wants to spend the evening with you."

"That's harsh, Sensei," Kakashi returned. "You can't really say that though, because you're willing to spend the evening with me."

Iruka grinned devilishly at him. "Well, maybe I have ulterior motives?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, surprised – not for the first time – at just how easy and entertaining it was to talk to Iruka. The chūnin gave as good as he got. And cheeky Iruka was cute. "And pray tell me, what would those be?"

Iruka glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, tapped his nose secretively and smiled before turning his attention to the phone in his hand. "No, it's no problem. I know how busy you are at this time of night."

Kakashi found his eyes drifting down to the chūnin's stomach again as his attention was diverted, imagining the flat plane distorted out into a baby bump. Inwardly he shook his head, screwing up his nose. It really was too weird. Especially – his gaze drifted lower – especially because of the decidedly male equipment Iruka was carrying. He had nothing against pregnant women, but if you're going to have the belly you need to have the breasts. And preferably not a cock-and-balls set.

Iruka glared at him, pointing two fingers at his own eyes and then at Kakashi's. I'm watching you. "No, he's really not that bad. A little strange, but at least it's entertaining I guess."

"Maa, are you complaining about me already?" Kakashi drawled, feigning hurt.

Iruka rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue. "Yes, I'll have pork. Mm, I don't know. Kakashi, what do you want?"

"Whatever you're having." Kakashi grinned to himself. Such a childish reaction. He must spend way too much time around children. He stopped grinning when a sudden thought struck him. Will I become like that if I have a child? Oh Gods no. Gai would be so happy for me that he'd become insufferable. Well, more so than he already is.

Iruka had put down the phone and was staring at him in a concerned manner. "Are you alright? You look a little… troubled."

"Maa, it's nothing." Kakashi swept his eye up into a happy half circle.

Iruka frowned, obviously not buying his 'smile', but chose to ignore it. "You're in luck. Naruto was not having ramen, so he won't be showing up here with our food."

Kakashi smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't hate him, you know. I'd just rather not see him when it's not required."

Iruka raised an eyebrow but didn't comment, instead opting to slip back into the kitchen to grab a couple of bottles of beer, one of which he thrust into Kakashi's hand.

Kakashi stared at it dubiously. "Are you planning on getting me drunk?"

Iruka grinned wickedly, showing his teeth. "Not at all, Kakashi-sensei. I was just thinking, you want to know things about me, right?"

Kakashi nodded slowly, uneasy about where this was going.

"Well, I was originally planning on just telling you anything you wanted to know. But now I'm starting to think that's a little unfair, and particularly since you've singlehandedly managed to traumatize Izumo –"

"I didn't traumatize him," Kakashi cut in.

"Whatever." Iruka waved a hand in his face dismissively. "You did upset him though, and as I was saying I don't think it's fair that you get to find out whatever you want about me when I know next to nothing about you. That, and I really do want to know more about you and I don't think you will voluntarily tell me anything. So lets play a game, ne?"

Kakashi frowned. "I don't like games."

Iruka shrugged. "It's not a hard game. You can start, even."

Kakashi stared at the beer in his hand and then at Iruka, wondering what the hell he was getting himself into. "How do you play?" Iruka beamed at him and he added quickly, "That wasn't an agreement to take part in your game."

"For starters, lets not stay in the kitchen." Iruka pointed to his couch. "Sit, be comfortable."

Feeling like he was sinking deeper and deeper into a mess he wasn't going to be able to escape from, Kakashi did as he was bid, perching on the very edge of the sofa. Iruka bounced over to sit at the other end, watching him carefully. He popped the cap off his bottle and took a long swig. "It basically goes, you ask a question and then I ask a question. Any question you want. If you feel uncomfortable answering anything then you can ask your question of me, something you think that's of a similar level of secrecy, and if I don't want to answer we just skip it." Iruka scrunched up his nose. "I don't think I explained that very well."

"I get it," Kakashi said shortly. I get it and I don't like it. Stop looking at me like that. I shouldn't have to do this. I can find out anything I want about you if I search through your records.

Iruka frowned, almost as if he were reading his mind. "I'm not going to force you to do this, but it would mean a lot to me if you did. I understand it's probably in your nature to sneak around and dig for information, but I'd rather you didn't do it behind my back. I don't intend to hide anything from you but I want to know you a bit more before you find out everything, okay?"

Kakashi sighed and rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand. I really really really can't ask him to have a child for me. I'd be taking advantage of the fact that's he's a good guy. He could get mad at me for intending to steal all his medical and work information but he only got mad because I upset his friend. I probably should open up to him, at least a little. Besides, I really want to know what the deal with the blindfold is. "When is your birthday?" he asked bluntly.

He didn't particularly care for birthdays and never celebrated his own, but he needed an innocent question to start off with. He was all too aware that if he asked something difficult he'd get something difficult in return.

Iruka looked surprised and then pleased at the question. "May 26th. What is you favourite scent?"

"Scent?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the odd question. "Miso soup when it's cooking." He smirked. "But not if it's burning."

Iruka wrinkled his nose. "I don't usually burn it, you know. You just distracted me. And answer seriously."

"How do you know I'm not being serious?" Sheesh, he's not going to let me get away with answering the first thing that comes to mind, is he? "I like miso. Anyway, your favourite food?"

"Ramen, of course." Iruka grinned. "Has anyone ever given you a nickname?"

"Yes," Kakashi answered shortly.

Iruka waited for elaboration but didn't get any. "Come on, what was it and who gave it to you?"

"That's another two questions," Kakashi pointed out. "You only get one."

"It's the same question." Iruka pouted. "Tell me."

Kakashi scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck. He could feel his cheeks heating up and was eternally grateful for his mask. "My sensei and his partner used to call me Kashi-kun."

"That's so cute!" Iruka looked on the verge of saying something else but stopped at the glare Kakashi was sending him.

"You do not get to call me that. Ever."

"Eh, I get it." Iruka shook his head. "It's such a waste, though."

"Describe how you see yourself in one word."

Iruka rolled his eyes at Kakashi's serious face and leaned back against the side of the couch, thinking. "How do I see myself? I honestly don't know." He gulped the rest of his beer while staring at Kakashi's still unopened bottle. "Resilient, maybe?"

"You think you're strong?"

"Hm, not necessarily. I meant it more in the way that I try not to let things get me down, and I learn from my mistakes and use them to make myself mentally stronger, if not physically." Iruka sat his empty bottle down on the table and glanced back to Kakashi. "Your question: how do you see me, one word?"

Kakashi blinked at him, unsure how to answer. His first thought had been confusing, but Iruka was so much more than that. Smoking hot probably wouldn't please him either, and it was two words. Cute definitely wouldn't go down well, and besides, it wasn't always true. "Refreshing?" he said hesitantly.

Iruka cocked his head to one side, blinking, and Kakashi wondered if he should have gone with cute after all. "What do you mean by that?"

Kakashi shrugged and ran his finger around the top of his bottle. "You're different, somehow, from most shinobi. You react so honestly to everything and don't try to hide yourself. It's refreshing, though sometimes it can be frightening."

"I scare you?" Iruka cracked a smile. "I'm glad you've decided to start being honest, at least."

Kakashi ground his teeth together. He hadn't meant to say that, it had just come out. The stupid chūnin was messing with his speech filter again, somehow. "Why did you decide to become a teacher?" he cut out, unwilling to dwell on the fact that he'd stopped lying and was actually considering his answers to these stupid questions.

Iruka lost his smile, his face becoming pensive. "Ah, that. 'Zuki wanted me to be in the village all the time, with him, and he kind of conned me into taking the test. At that point I would have done anything he asked of me anyway." Kakashi's ears perked up at that and Iruka laughed softly. "That's what you were waiting to hear, right? All you're really interested in is my relationship with Mizuki."

"Not really." Kakashi surprised himself by realizing that his words weren't a lie; he actually did think it was interesting to talk to Iruka in this way. That said, he was still unhealthily interested in what had gone down between the dark-haired chūnin and the silver-haired psychopath.

"That's good then." Iruka smiled softly down at his hands. "Because I don't think I'm ready to talk about that yet."

Kakashi didn't know what to say to that so he said nothing, until eventually Iruka spoke again. "When you were very small, what was your favourite toy?"

"Toy?" Kakashi scratched at the back of his head. "I don't remember ever having any toys. I did have a set of old kunai my father gave me to train with that I was fairly attached too, but I'm guessing that's not what you mean."

"How old were you?"

"Four or so? I threw them out when I was eight, though."

"If you treasured them so much, why would you throw them out?" Iruka asked, without thinking.

"You've already asked your question," Kakashi replied bluntly. "If you weren't a teacher or a shinobi, what would you want to be?"

"Oh. I'm not sure." Iruka thought about it for a while. "I know I said 'Zuki forced me to become a teacher, but I actually really enjoy it. I should probably be thanking him for sending me down this path. I guess it's kind of boring, but if I weren't a shinobi I'd still want to be a teacher. Either that or work in an orphanage or something."

"Ever the altruist, aren't you?" Kakashi said, raising an eyebrow.

"Not really." Iruka shrugged. "It's just that in this village there are so many unfortunate children because of this volatile shinobi lifestyle. I've seen kids lose parents or siblings and lose all their drive, either dropping out or refusing to learn. I know what it's like to be suddenly all alone in the world, and I know that that feeling of loneliness makes it easy for people to drag you down the wrong path. Kids need to feel loved to grow. Having just one person there for you can make all the difference."

"And that's why you befriended Naruto, right?" Kakashi could understand the desire to help others, though he'd never managed to do it himself. He remembered losing his loved ones one by one, and wondered if, had he had just one more person who cared for him, would he have turned out different? Probably not. I wasn't raised the way Iruka was. I wouldn't have let anyone in anyway.

Iruka grinned and tapped his nose secretively. "You already asked your question," he teased, quoting Kakashi, "Though you probably already know the answer to that one anyway. What do you consider to be the most valuable thing you own?"

Kakashi was about to say I don't really care too much for material possessions when he realized he knew exactly what his most valuable item was. "This," he said, tugging off his hitai-ate and pointing to his left eye. "It was a gift," he said by way of explanation, before realizing that he'd already told Iruka how he'd acquired the sharingan.

"Well, Obito-san sure made it difficult for anyone else to get you a present you'll be impressed with," Iruka joked lightly.

Kakashi jolted, shocked at hearing that name coming out of that mouth, and said the first thing that came into his head. "It's not a problem, because nobody gives me presents anyway."

"Ah. Well, I plan on changing that. I hope you don't mind," Iruka replied, seeming to take that fact that Kakashi was totally ineloquent and unloved in his stride.

"Hn." Kakashi didn't know whether he was pleased or frightened by that. He didn't really want people paying attention to him and forcing gifts on him. But if it was only Iruka – maybe he could be a little pleased by that. "If you got a tattoo, what would it be, and where would you get it?"

"Oh, I have a tattoo already," Iruka said easily, and smirked when Kakashi's eyes widened. "What, you didn't see it?"

"Where?" Kakashi demanded.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Iruka shot back, and Kakashi growled.

"I'll find it," he threatened.

"What are you going to do, strip me?" He lost his grin when Kakashi leaned forward, the manic glint in his eye showing that he intended to do just that. He held up his hands in defense. "Wait, wait, I'll show you. Here."

Slowly, Iruka unfolded his legs and stretched them out so his feet were resting on Kakashi's lap. Kakashi stared at him blankly. Iruka prodded him with his right foot.

Kakashi twisted his head to the side and frowned, poking Iruka's heel with his finger. He lifted up the other foot. "Where's the ja?"

Iruka kicked him. "Nowhere. Why would I get my job tattooed on my body?"

"I don't know." Kakashi shrugged. "But I don't know why you'd get a tattoo in a place no one will ever see it, either."

"I got it for myself, not for anyone else. Nobody needs to see it so long as I know it is there."

Kakashi picked up Iruka's right foot again and rubbed the pad of his thumb over the tattoo, a thickly drawn stamp of the character nin on the bottom of the chūnin's heel. Iruka squirmed. "Why nin, then?"

"I told you I was resilient, didn't I?" Iruka dug his other foot into the couch underneath Kakashi's thigh. "Well, sometimes I need reminding."

"Hn." If he thought about it it did seem a rather fitting tattoo, and Kakashi wondered if there were any deeper meaning behind it. Given the type of person Iruka was, he must have thought for a long time before getting inked. "When did you get it done?"

"After Mizuki tried to kill me," Iruka said flatly, using a voice that signaled that this topic was no longer available to talk about. "It was possibly the lowest point in my life."

Kakashi deliberately chose not to heed the warning. "What does this mean to you then? Courage and perseverance under great pressure?"

Iruka kicked him again, this time hard enough to bruise and dangerously close to his balls. "Are you seriously that incapable of reading people? You never seem to pick up clues of when it's okay to keep going and when you should just shut your big mouth."

Kakashi shrugged. "I just want to see how far I can push you."

Iruka sighed. "Well, if it gets to the point where I'm throwing things at you just know that the next step is getting kicked out of my house. And once you're out you don't get to come back in."

"Good to know." He didn't have any real reasons to explain why he was being such a brat, except that Iruka intrigued him. He wondered what exactly it would take to push him right over the edge. Does that make me a bad person?

"It's basically just a symbol to tell me to keep on going," Iruka said, figuring that the easiest way out was just to tell Kakashi what he wanted to hear. "And could you stop that? It kind of tickles."

Kakashi glanced down to realize he'd been absentmindedly rubbing circles on Iruka's foot. He looked back up at Iruka and then rubbed harder, experimentally.

Iruka squirmed violently. "Stop it."

Kakashi grinned and rubbed some more, brushing his fingertips over the sole of Iruka's foot and settling his weight down harder on his other leg so he couldn't pull away. Iruka turned red, shivering uncontrollably, and tried to pull his foot away. Kakashi gripped it harder.

Iruka exploded. "'Zuki, stop!"

Kakashi let him go instantly and shuffled closer to the Iruka-less end of the couch. Iruka drew his knees into his chest and wrapped his arms around them protectively, his face ashen and his eyes downcast. "Don't tickle me," he whispered softly.

Well, that's how far you can push him, Kakashi told himself wryly, his eyes on his own knees and his fingers knotting together. I guess you're happy now.

"I'm sorry," Iruka added, though Kakashi was hard-pressed to tell how sincere he was being. "I shouldn't have – but you shouldn't have – please don't do it again." He seemed to be pretty shaken about the slip, much more so than Kakashi was.

"Did you call me that because I remind you of him?" Kakashi asked. He wanted to be careful but any topic involving the silver-haired nutcase was a minefield anyway, and he really wanted answers.

"No." From the way Iruka was squeezing his knees Kakashi figured he'd have little lines of circular bruises there tomorrow. "You're not – like him. If you were I wouldn't have come near you in the first place."

"But you didn't know me very well in the beginning," Kakashi pointed out. "Is it that once you got to know me a little more you thought –"

"No," Iruka broke in. "I already told you, no. If you were him you wouldn't have stopped. I only had to ask you three times."

Three times. Kakashi felt a little guilty about that. He had just been teasing, but still. "I won't do it again."

Iruka sighed and rubbed his temples so harshly that Kakashi wanted to reach out and pull his hands away. Fortunately, he had the presence of mind not to. "I know. It's not that it's that big of a deal, really. I just get uneasy when someone traps me like that. You make me nervous enough already, and that you wouldn't stop…" He laughed self-depreciatingly, scratching at his scar. "I didn't think, I just reacted."

Kakashi stared at his knees. He wasn't sure that he even wanted to know what could have happened to make the usually self-assured chūnin panic so much over a little bit of teasing. "It's not something you should be embarrassed about, you know," he said quietly. "Everyone's scared of something, and as shinobi most of us have good reason to be scared. You don't have to pretend to be strong all the time."

Iruka barked a laugh. "That's a bit rough coming from you, isn't it? You're the king of 'hiding my feelings so everyone just thinks I'm a lazy pervert'."

"Maybe." Kakashi shrugged lightly and laced his fingers together. "But hiding behind a smile is just as bad, is it not?"

Iruka just shook his head and pointed to the still unopened bottle between Kakashi's knees. "May I have that? I think I need it."

Kakashi handed the beer over without complaint, and watched dubiously as Iruka downed half the bottle in one long draught. "Are you planning on getting drunk?"

Iruka chuckled. "On two beers? No. In any case, I don't particularly like losing control of my actions so I usually try to avoid it. I just thought a little liquid courage would be nice."

"You're pretty cute when you're drunk though," Kakashi said without thinking, and then snapped his mouth shut.

Iruka frowned. "When did you – oh. Goddamn that Tsunade-sama."

"You threw up down the side of the casino," Kakashi reminded helpfully.

Iruka scowled. "Oh, I bet that was pretty cute, too, huh?"

"Well, those stupid puppies you're so fond of thought that I'd drugged you in order to have my way with you," Kakashi said wryly, "So they must have thought you looked alright."

Iruka snorted and then flashed him a weak smile. "Thanks."

"For what?" Kakashi asked.

"For taking my mind off things. You're pretty nice when you want to be."

Kakashi shrugged. He had no idea what Iruka was talking about but he was not above taking a misguided compliment, particularly if it meant that his clumsy conversation skills had led to something positive.

"Do I still get a question?" Iruka asked abruptly, his gaze piercing. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to, though."

Kakashi was tempted to tell him that 'do I still get a question' technically was a question, but decided that that sort of childish humour would not be appreciated in this conversation. "Go ahead." He resisted the urge to tug at his mask, sure that his face would be what the question revolved around.

"Well," Iruka dropped his gaze, "You said before that shinobi all have things they're scared about, right? What are you scared of?"

Kakashi stared at him blankly. Does he really expect me to answer that?

Iruka paused before speaking again. "You don't have to answer. I didn't really expect you to. It's just – I can't imagine that you're scared of anything. Sometimes I physically push myself to work harder just so I don't have the time to feel afraid. I don't feel strong."

"I think we've already been over this," Kakashi said flatly, "But the thing I am most afraid of right now is getting close to you."

Iruka's fingers tightened around his knees. "Then why are you here? Why do you come back?" he whispered. "You're so hard to understand."

"Because as hard as it is to let someone in, it's harder to stay away," Kakashi admitted. "And everything inside me is telling me you'll be good for me, if I let you. You're stronger than you think."

Iruka shoved the tip of his index finger in his mouth and bit down, eyes wide and staring at Kakashi. Kakashi figured he didn't even know he was doing it.

He sighed heavily and twitched his fingers in the chūnin's direction. "Come here." He wasn't completely comfortable with instigating unnecessary human contact, but he was more uncomfortable watching Iruka try to scrunch himself up into the smallest human ball ever.

Iruka immediately scooted across the couch and plonked himself down on his lap, his nose inches from Kakashi's. Kakashi blinked. "Well, I didn't expect that." He gave the chūnin an awkward pat on the back, wondering what exactly was expected when one was supposed to comfort one's lover. "Everything will be okay?"

Iruka laughed so hard he fell over backwards, ending up on the floor between Kakashi's feet. Kakashi looked down at him, concerned and confused. Has he finally snapped…?

"Ow." Iruka rubbed his tailbone fiercely before sitting up and resting his elbows on Kakashi's knees. Kakashi resisted the urge to push him away. "I know it's mean to laugh when you're just trying to be nice, but you're so adorably awkward."

Kakashi just blinked, mouthing the word adorable to himself silently. He'd definitely never been called that before. "Is this some sort of a joke to you?"

"No!" Iruka sobered quickly, holding up his hands in defense. "I do have a problem with fear, but for the most part I'm able to control it. It's just when it's provoked by an outside source – like what you did – that I have more difficulty. And I'm genuinely pleased that you're willing to try staying with me even though it scares the pants off you. I respect that. It's just that sometimes, you're too cute for words."

"Uhuh." Kakashi couldn't see how anyone could picture him – the famed Copy Nin, ex-ANBU captain and master assassin – as cute, but if it meant Iruka was unafraid of him then so be it.

"I'm sorry. I guess I just insulted your manliness." Iruka grinned up at him, looking anything but sorry. "I'm glad we had this talk, really. Sometimes the questions you ask can say as much about you as what you answer." He ended the sentence on a yawn. "And I'm probably nearly as lost when it comes to relationships as you are, considering my history. You're not alone in being unsure about this."

"Thanks, I guess?" Kakashi prodded Iruka's cheek with a tentative finger. The chūnin looked just about ready to fall asleep against his knee. "You should probably go to bed."

"Mmm." Iruka rubbed his face against the inside of Kakashi's calf, cat-like. "Will you sleep with me?"

"Sleep?" Kakashi's hand hovered inches above Iruka's head. He had been about to ruffle his hair, his tired mind thinking he was a cat, but stopped himself just in time.

"Mn, not sex." Iruka poked his kneecap. "I don't think I could handle being blindfolded at this point. Just sleep beside me, okay? I know you don't usually do that but if this relationship is going to continue I'd like you to at least try to get used to it."

"Oh." Kakashi thought about the pros and cons, and eventually placed his hand on the top of Iruka's head anyway. The chūnin radiated heat, and Kakashi figured that this must be the main reason people had the weird fascination with sharing a bed – free human-sized hot water bottles. "Okay."

Iruka seemed surprised at his answer, and Kakashi squeezed his head gently. "Did you expect me to say no?"

"Well, yes." Iruka rubbed at his scar awkwardly. "You always run away when you're pushed out of your depth and I know that you're not comfortable sharing a bed."

Kakashi shrugged. "You're not the only one who wants to try and make this thing work."

o0o

Kakashi stared at the massive scar carved into Iruka's back, dangerously close to his spine. The chūnin had put on the ratty-looking dolphin pajama pants he'd worn through the whole competition but refused to wear a shirt to bed, claiming that all his sleep shirts were dirty. Kakashi was still trying to figure out whether this was a good thing or a bad thing.

As soon as he'd climbed into bed Iruka had rolled away from him, only stopping to comment sleepily that Ichiraku had never brought them food after all (he didn't seem at all surprised by this, so Kakashi figured it happened often) before closing his eyes and falling promptly asleep.

Kakashi was amazed at the show of trust, and figured that the whole act of turning away from him and keeping very clearly to one side of the bed was for his own benefit. Do I really deserve that much trust? he asked himself, and then abruptly stopped thinking about it because his own answer to that was a resounding no. Instead, he stared blankly at the ceiling and let his mind drift onto more important matters. How on earth am I supposed to ask him if he would like to become a mother?

o0o

That took way longer than it should have to write, and is incredibly sub-par.

-.- A few notes:

- When Kakashi says that having a retarded baby is pointless he doesn't mean that children who are mentally handicapped don't deserve to live. The reason that this child is being planned is simply because everyone believes it will be a prodigy; if it is anything less than that the Elders will see it as a waste of time and Kakashi may as well have just stayed childless. It still sounds nasty like that, but hopefully you can see his reasoning. He's not being nasty; he's being practical.

- The Japanese character 'nin', other than being half of the word 'ninja', stands for patience, perseverance and stealth. The character itself is made up of two kanji; 'toh' meaning sword, over 'shin' meaning heart. It represents the idea of courage and perseverance under great pressure.

- If you were reading Hound's Release, it got deleted. I'm sorry. Blame Miss Nasty-Pants Spoilsport, whoever reported it. I am in the process of uploading it to my (barely used) deviantart under the username Rachism if you really want to keep/start reading it.