The Golden Days, by lyradaemon
Chapter 4: Learning the hard way
A/N: Eleven months since I last updated, and all the while I've had this scene going around in my head. Quite why I decided to write today after so long, I don't know, but I'm not going to start complaining!
Dahlia House wasted no time in instructing me in the ways of their House, as well as anything and everything about the Houses of Mont Nuit. Like the child I was, I soaked it all in, loathe to miss even the smallest sliver of information. Although I still had two years before I formally began my training, I was still taught how to dress correctly, how to hold and conduct myself in the presence of my elders and betters. The proper way to eat, the polite way to talk, how to be innocently charming when required. Every lesson I had with at least one other of my special circle of friends and I enjoyed it immensely. Mayhap it was because I was still a child and had no knowledge of the deeper workings of the Court of Night Blooming Flowers, but it seemed to me at the time that life could not possibly be more pleasant.
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Yet, close to my tenth birthday and the approaching dedication to Naamah, I encountered my first, and surely not my last, problem.
In my nigh-on two years in that House, the motto of Dahlia House had become ingrained in me. While I may only have been nine years old, I was exceptionally dignified for one so young, as were all of my friends. Mayhap it is not so surprising, living and growing up in a place full of haughtily beautiful adepts like Seline. Nevertheless, I had grown accustomed to what was expected of me in my adopted House.
As an adept, waiting on my patrons and guests in my House, I would naturally be required to kneel abeyante. It might seem surprising that before that summer I had had no experience of this position, but I hasten to explain that I was not required before then to serve in an intimate setting, nor was I, quite obviously, required to wait on patrons. Therefore my short time had passed without me becoming acquainted with what is often considered the cornerstone of any adepts training.
We, my friends and I, had been informed before breaking our fast that we would have a lesson that very morning in which we would be instructed in how to kneel abeyante. It is not, in its own way, difficult per se, but there is a grace and submission required in it. Of this I must admit that I was sadly uninformed; I had seen on a daily basis the adepts performing their roles perfectly, but I had never understood, nor even stopped to think about, what was required when a person knelt in such a fashion.
The meal was, needless to say, a merry affair. Vienne was already ten, and not three days prior had been Callias' own fete day. Mine was fast approaching, and there was an air of pride and excitement around us.
"Just think, soon we too shall be adepts, learning the secrets of Naamah. It is exciting, is it not, Bastien?" Vienne exclaimed in between mouthfuls of juicy melon.
"Tis alright for you Vienne," Bastien replied darkly. "You will be dedicated soon. I have three more months."
"Ah, but at least you will be an adept in time for the Midwinter Masque," Léonie said. "How glorious that will be!"
"Yes, for then we can be amongst the other Houses for the first time," said Honore dreamily. "I have always wished to meet someone from Eglantine. They sound so much fun."
I heartily agreed. I would soon begin my instruction into the teaching of Naamah and I could scarcely wait for that day to come.
We made our way to the bright, airy room where we would have our day's lesson. We chatted quietly amongst ourselves, not wishing to disturb anyone walking past with our childish loudness. Presently our instructor entered, a tall, slim, graceful young woman who, from only a glance, I could tell did not belong to my House.
"Good morning, my dears," she began in a low, sensual voice. "My name is Juliette nó Valerian, and I will be instructing you this morning."
"Good morning," we replied in polite murmurs, inclining our heads as we had been taught to do. I could sense Vienne's excitement at seeing whom we assumed was an adept of the fabled Valerian House. I must mention here that Dahlia and Valerian Houses do not have all that much contact. We, as a rule, are upright and regal, and find the idea of submitting as Valerian House does slightly loathsome. We did not look down upon them, for all true servants of Naamah understand that each House has its own code and own way of expressing love in its truest form, as instructed by Blessed Elua, 'Love as thou wilt'.
It is Mandrake House instead which finds us so enticing. To them, the image of a beautiful, haughty Dahlia adept submitting to them is utterly delicious. It was a fact which the rest of the Night Court knew, and many an adept of Mandrake House, upon obtaining their marque, went to Dahlia House with the sole intention of making one of ours submit to them. They found it delightful; we found it shamefully pleasurable. At the time, however, I had no idea of this.
Juliette nó Valerian had the deceptively innocent features so beloved by her House. Her golden curls tumbled delightfully, her large brown eyes gazed about her with a childish wonder. Her cupid's bow smile gave not hint of her inclinations for violent pleasure. Altogether a delicious young woman who would make the pulse of any red-blooded Mandrake race.
"Today you will be learning the correct way to kneel abeyante, a skill essential to your future training in the ways of the Night Court. Without it, you will not be able to serve adequately, nor will any patron desire your services. It is the founding block of your calling. I require nothing but your utmost concentration and dedication. If, by the time you formally enter Naamah's service, you can perform it correctly, I shall be most pleased." She smiled then, innocently charming. "Now, without adieu, let us begin."
She gestured to Honore, the most delicate of us, to come forward. She did so without hesitating, a skill ingrained into her. Ah, how perfect she was! She instructed Honore to stand behind her, then asked Callias to stand before her. Callias had soft black hair and a piercing grey gaze that was well-suited to his adoptive House. Only ten he was already willowy, a characteristic not understood well by foreigners; to them, it is something only possessed by women. But in Terre d'Ange men are just as beautiful and dear Callias was not exception.
"Please watch closely. Imagine that your friend here," she gestured towards a proud Callias, "is my patron or a noble I am serving at a private dinner. I must show the correct amount of subservience and submission as well as grace, beauty and acceptance of status. Too much grace and it becomes too sexual." She did not stumble over the word, despite the fact that her audience was a group of nine and ten year olds. "Too much beauty and you take the notice away from other guests in the room. Too much show of your acceptance of your comparative statuses, it becomes obsequious. It must be precisely executed. Observe."
Lowering her head and eyes demurely, Juliette sank gracefully to the floor, kneeling, head bowed, hands loosely held in her lap, before Callias. Such a simple act, but ah, how beautiful! She had yielded herself completely to her master's wishes and her whole form spoke volumes; she was at her master's command now, there was no denying. Graceful submission at its most sublime.
I found shivers running down my spine. I could not deny to myself that it was beautiful to behold, and Callias' face showed the effect it had upon the receiver. But I knew, suddenly, inside of me, that I did not want to kneel. I was Simone nó Dahlia, I was 'Upright and Unbending', I was regal and dignified and I knelt to no one.
Such a feeling swept through me, coursing through my veins, filling me with this fierce pride and unwavering unwillingness to submit in any way. I did not belong to Valerian House, where submission was required of me, nor was I canon for Alyssum were modesty was highly prized 'With Eyes Averted'. It was not for me to do this. I could not. I would not.
In turn, Juliette asked us to copy her movements, encouraging, correcting, explaining. After Vienne had finished her turn, Juliette explained that she had brought with her someone with whom we could practice because she could not play both teacher and the role of the court noble at the same time. Politely summoning a passing youth she requested that her companion, Alexandre, come to join her. The youth bowed wordlessly and returned mere minutes later with, to me at the time, the most striking man I had ever seen. Taller than Juliette, slim yet perfectly muscled, Alexandre nó Heliotrope was a beautiful creature. He had black hair similar to Callias' and eyes the same hue as Ambroise Betancourt, the Dowayne of Dahlia House. Yet while the Dowayne's shone with pride and a distinct haughtiness, Alexandre's were soft and gentle, gazing at each of us with a quiet calm that created flutters in my chest. Juliette smiled at him before explaining what she had done so far and asking him if he would mind being our figurehead to whom we would kneel. He laughed at that, a deep chuckle.
"It would be my pleasure. It is not often that I have someone kneeling before me." He shot a look at Juliette that made her blush prettily and I wondered then whether they were lovers.
Vienne repeated what she had just practiced and Alexandre regarded the whole event with a benign smile. I was watching with only half an eye, lost in so daydream or other, when my name shook me out of my reverie.
"Simone my dear, it is your turn now. If you could come forward and show us…"
I started forward without hesitating and paused in front of Alexandre. He nodded encouragingly before putting on a haughty look, one which would have done any adept of Dahlia proud. I took a deep breathe, my mind running through the few simple steps Juliette had shown us. Look down, sink down, fold hands, incline head I repeated to myself. Right. Look down…
But I couldn't do it. I couldn't look away from him. Not because he was too beautiful or anything of that sort, but because I simply couldn't do it. I was Simone nó Dahlia, 'Upright and Unbending'. It was not in me to submit.
My mind continued to stumble through the motions and I found myself on my knees before him, but my gaze was still locked with his. My hands clenched in my lap, unwilling to lie acquiescent. I can't do this, I can't, I can't…
"Simone, were you not watching? You must lower your eyes before you go to your knees. Then you bow your head, see, like this." She demonstrated again, slowly, the correct motions and I nodded wordlessly. Why was it so hard?
I go to my feet and took a deep breathe before trying again. Again I could not do it. I fought against it the whole time but simply could not do it. I felt tears of frustration pricking my eyes but blinked them quickly away. I will not yield to such a weakness I thought savagely. Climbling to my feet again, I found Alexandre by my side.
"It is alright, Simone, it is not uncommon for one such a you to find this hard," he murmured kindly.
I stared at him. "One such as me?"
"A child made for Dahlia House. 'Upright and Unbending', I know your motto. And I know as well that submitting, even in such a trivial way as this, is difficult. You are not suited to such a thing, you are regal and proud and dignified." I nodded, unsure of how to reply. How did he know? "But you can be proud in the fact that you can kneel abeyante so beautifully, in a way that would make your Dowayne proud of you. I am sure you can do it if you try hard enough. Think of it as another skill to master, something to feel pride in."
Yes. Another skill to master. My House ought to be proud of me. I must make them proud. Yes, that is it.
Alexandre moved before me again and regarded me with his haughty stare. My mantra of Be proud, be proud, be proud echoing through my head, I lowered my gaze and sank slowly but gracefully to the floor. My hands folded delicately in my lap and I inclined my head respectfully to him. I stayed the way until Juliette helped me up and beamed at me.
"That was perfect, Simone, truly. I think you have mastered it already. Such a quick learner!" She smiled again before turning to the Léonie and requested her to do the same. I looked quickly at Alexandre and he winked at me. I blushed but smiled back and joined my friends, my heart feeling lighter.
I felt delighted to know that I was performing as my House decreed, yet was equally delighted that I had acquired such an important skill so quickly. I was proud to have done so well, rather than shamed at having submitted. My dedication could not come soon enough.