Overall a pretty short chapter for you, but a pretty pivotal point in the story (my humble opinion of course) A lot of character changes in this one, you'll see some people's true colors. Hope you enjoy and hopefully I'll be back here soon!
And I wouldn't be a good author if I did promote the Never Let Me Go outtakes! The first chapter is out, so please go and check that out and tell me what you think.
A huge shoutout to:
EsmeAliceRose
hopelessromanticgurl
GomezAddams45
And the ever amazing Just4Me!
Thanks guys! On with the show!
One month later
Edward P.O.V
"Get out of my fucking head!" my brother shrieked, slamming the door in my face rudely. The glass shook slightly, threatening to crack and fall. I pulled the door open quickly, following Emmett to the living room where he began to pace, his hands in fists at his sides.
"I'm sorry if I upset you, Emmett, but please be reasonable," I insisted, putting my hands up in an attempt to show surrender. Emmett growled, his eyes dark with seething rage.
"Reasonable! Are you out of your mind? You betrayed me, Edward!" he roared, pointing a finger at his chest, "And you betrayed this family."
This couldn't be happening, not here, not right now. Not without Carlisle, or Alice, or anyone. I can't take him alone; he'll pull me apart in a matter of seconds. I'll be dead before Carlisle even gets back from hunting.
"Emmett, please, I'm your brother, you know I only want what's best for you and this family," I argued. I could feel my legs taking a few steps back, an involuntary reaction when danger came. The house seemed to shrink as Emmett walked forward, the walls bending and twisting, trapping me in their vise like grip.
How Dare he? Emmett's thoughts plagued my mind, forcing a wave of guilt to overcome me. I wasn't thinking clearly when I did what I did. I just want what's best for the family as a whole, and at the very moment she's the worst thing we could have living under our roof. I thought she could change, but I know now how foolish I was, a naïve child yearning for the mother he once knew.
He gave up on her, I knew he would! I did, but with the best intentions in store. I can hear her thoughts; I know how miserable she is almost all of the time. I know how awful her thirst is, and quite frankly it's taking its own toll on my emotional and physical being. I've waged my own war with insanity, and I promised I would never fight it again. Once I married Bella and had Renesmee I made a similar vow, though it was to protect them from the blows of this world before even myself. My job is to keep them safe, and as long as she lives here I cannot rest in peace, figuratively speaking of course.
I could handle the coven for a few centuries, or if things go for the worst, forever. I'm a strong and capable man, my powers much stronger then Carlisle. He was once a father figure to me, but now I am a real father and I no longer need his pitiful guidance. It's his responsibility to hand over the hatchet, as they say. He's old, his wife is unwell, it's time for him to quit. He's done so much, but I know I can do more. He's smart, but I'm sure in a few decades I can surpass his level of intellect and in a few centuries multiply it.
Earlier on I thought life could go back to normal, I thought I could go back to the person I was before this huge catastrophe, but I can't. I can't fool myself any longer. Bella and Nessie are in danger of the monster Esme has become, and no matter how many times I try to suppress the need to extinguish the threat it keeps bubbling up, commanding me to do what I know isn't morally right. She needs to be gone, Carlisle too. They have shown me that love doesn't always overpower blood, and that emotion doesn't always win against nature. They have shown me that family distress can lead to great peril.
Carlisle will know! I will tell him, personally! And I hope to God that he rips you to shreds, unless of course I do that first! Emmett's words cut deep, but the guilt of what I did was easily pushed aside. The situation called for action, and that's what I did.
"Tell him, I don't care. It doesn't matter now anyway, you stopped me," I said calmly, my tone sensible and practical.
"You were going to kill her in cold blood! What makes me sick is you thought you would get away with it; you thought you'd be able to wipe the stains off your hands and still look your father in the eye! You're a fool, Edward, you're a damn fool." Emmett's malice didn't go unheard. Her foot steps were soft and discreet as she traveled around upstairs, her thoughts muffled by the violence unfolding. By what I could pick up she was going to come down, apparently to assume her old 'motherly stance' that Carlisle encouraged. The thought made me laugh, this Esme is not a mother, but a blood thirsty demon sent from hell to terrorize my family. How dare I? How dare she?
"It's what this family needs," I hissed, my back pressed firmly against the door. I could feel flight or fight setting in. Which would it be?
"You've spent a century with her, and now that one obstacle has come up you abandon her? Don't you remember what she did for you? She risked her life, and her mate's life, for you and your sorry ass. Carlisle should have let you die; I'm sure when he gets wind of this he'll wish he had." The pressing threat of Carlisle did little to scare me. He's weak with worry, his mind betraying him by sending him false hope. The one thing that does frighten me is Peyton, but I chose my time carefully, and I know she won't be a problem now, nor in the future. Peyton and he mate are reunited, her unconditional love tugging her away from the Cullen family affairs. It's a surprise to us all that she hasn't just got up and left, returning to her homeland of Germany. I wouldn't be surprised if Carlisle paid her to stay, just in case his wife tries to kill him.
"Or maybe he'll just come home to a pile of ash!" Emmett lunged, his fist slamming through the wooden door with the force of ten men. Splinters flew, cascading onto the floor like a blanket of snow. He attacked me again, but his thoughts and moves were predictable. I dodged it easily. But I knew I couldn't win this fight. As much as I wish I was, I'm not a born fighter. Emmett is.
"You think you can play this game forever, Eddy? Strength always wins over brains," he reminded me, his fist colliding with my stomach. I could only do so much. My mind went fuzzy as he hit my skull, fracturing the bone easily. His thoughts became less and less coherent as he threw me to the ground, his foot catching on my ribs and smashing them easily.
"How does it feel, huh? You were going to do this to your own mother!" A successful thud sounded through my ears as Emmett's heel came down on my face, breaking my nose and bruising my lip. The sole of his shoe twisted and turned, increasing the damage and pain as precious seconds ticked by.
"You'll never hurt anyone-huh?" Emmett stopped his tirade and glanced behind him, his ears picking up on the soft sobs emitting from the pitiful woman cowering on the floor. "Oh God, Esme," he groaned, racing over to his fallen mother.
Venom pooled in my mouth as I spat at my obvious wounds, the agony causing me to writhe. I would have to fix my head and ribs later, setting them so they could heal correctly. Blood poured from my nose, the attempts to stop it futile. My shirt was a little torn, my face a bit dirty, but for the most part I seemed ok, especially after encountering a vengeful Emmett. I could appreciate the simple fact that I was very, very lucky.
"Please, tell me what's wrong, Momma," Emmett pleaded, taking the woman's hand and tracing patterns on her palm with his thumb, like Carlisle had done so many times before to get her to calm down. As I expected she pulled away, her thoughts scared and nervous.
Images of Esme's first husband appeared in her mind as a flood of memories pushed through her brain. The images were disturbing, though I had seen them countless times before. Rape, violence, screaming, fighting, they were all the same. For the longest time I had hated Charles more than anyone on this planet, but a few years ago I realized something. She might have deserved it. She might have deserved every punch, every thrust, and every word he ever uttered. Her human memories are foggy, thus raising the 'might' situation I find myself in now. Plus, it's been years. Carlisle's given her decades to heal and sometimes she still breaks down, like a child. She finally gets what she wants, her memories, and she pleads to God to take them back. How weak. How pathetic.
Esme's limp form fell over, her head colliding with the floor piercingly. Emmett winced, his hands fumbling to pull her back up. "Esme, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" he demanded, holding onto her arms with secure hands. If only he knew that he was scaring her even more.
"Edward, I know you know what's going on. Please, tell me," he begged. Esme's sobs echoed through the house, her mind darkening as the memories became more and more vivid. She needed Carlisle, much to my amusement.
I stood up, my feet steadying as I walked. Emmett snarled as I ran through Esme's hair, but made no attempt to stop me. He needs me, I know what's going on through her crazed mind, and he doesn't. "He's gone," I told her, answering two questions in one sentence. Emmett's brow furrowed, confusion masking his face.
"Who's gone?" he asked.
"Charles, and Carlisle," I told him as I opened the door. "Who knows which will come back first?"
Carlisle P.O.V
"Do you think she's ok?" I asked my daughter hesitantly, her body barely visible in the setting sun.
"I can't see anything, but I'm sure she is. Edward and Emmett will take good care of her, don't worry Carlisle," she assured me, patting my arm lightly.
"I am prone to over reactions, but I just feel like something's amiss. Can we head back?" I didn't like being away from Esme, no matter how short. She's been getting so much better, but she's still drinking human blood, which is acceptable but never racking.
"Once you get a little more blood in your system, your eyes are still black. Jasper says there a herd of deer just a few miles away, care to join me?" the pixie girl asked.
I nodded hesitantly. I knew she was right, I did need to hunt, but I just feel like something's gone horribly wrong. I just wish I knew. Even if there isn't anything erroneous, I needed reassurance. Esme's my life, if anything ever happened to her, well I just don't want to think about that again.
I yanked out my cell phone, keying in Edward's number quickly. I held it up to my ear, intently listening for a voice.
"No,no,no, Carlisle Cullen!" Alice chirped, grabbing the little gadget and tossing it into the bushes. "You are going to hunt, and then you can go home," she patted my shoulder. "Esme's fine, trust me."
"Where's Peyton?" I asked suddenly, causing my daughter's brow to crease with thought.
"Probably with Osiris somewhere. I feel like she's planning to leave soon, which is a shame; I've really gone to enjoy her company. Even if she does block my visions. Wait! She said she was going to a pond a few miles away from the house. Does that make you feel better? If anything happens she'll hear it, as will Osiris. They'll be able to hold whoever it is off, I'm sure. Not like there's anyone there. I'm sure Edward will protect his mother tooth and nail," she reassured me, grabbing my hand and dragging me through the forest, her feet brushing away the thick foliage.
"It's probably nothing," I muttered, and she nodded.
"Esme can take care of herself more often than you think. She's obviously stronger than we think," she pointed out.
I shrugged, not impressed. I've always known Esme was strong, but she's also fragile, that's why she has me. To protect her and keep her safe, and yet I couldn't even do that. I failed her, and I wouldn't do it again. I would be there for her.
"Carlisle!" Alice called, but I was already gone, my body pummeling through the vegetation. I couldn't risk Esme's safety, not with this horrific feeling I have growing inside of me. "Carlisle, please!" my daughter begged. She raced after me, but her attempts were futile, my legs much longer.
She finally gave up, her screams dying out as I got closer and closer to the house. I caught sight of a small body of water through the trees near the house, the pond Alice was talking about. Much to my surprise Peyton was nowhere to be seen, though her scent lingered over the shallow water.
My senses seemed to heighten as I realized what danger Esme could be in. My body gathered all of its strength, pushing it all straight to my feet, accelerating my speed. My lover's face appeared before me, her eyes expressionless as the fire took her away from me. No. I wouldn't let anyone touch her. I pushed the thought away and concentrated on getting to the house.
"Carlisle!" my biggest son cried as I barreled through the door, my shoulder catching on the dry wall, cracking it deeply. I paid it little attention as I rushed toward my son, his face morbid.
"We need to talk," he said, almost calmly. His demeanor outraged me. How dare he be so steady is so a drastic situation?
I could smell Esme, her scent strongest at the base of the stairs, though she wasn't there. "Where is she?" I growled, pushing my son aside so I could get a better look around the house. I'm very rarely rude towards my children, but when it comes to my mate there are exceptions. She matters most, above anyone or anything.
"Upstairs, she's kinda…messed up," he warned, scratching the back of his head with his paw sized hand nervously.
"What do you mean 'messed up'? What happened Emmett?" I asked, tearing up the steps as I ran. Wood splintered under my feet, but my level of caring was below zero by now. She's the only thing that matters.
"She's in your bedroom," Emmett called; his voice like a dim recollection, an afterthought after he already told his story.
The floor seemed to shift under me as worry began to lace my mind like some sort of drug. Is she sick? Did she hurt someone? Did she hurt Edward? Oh God, she would never forgive herself if she hurt him. He was once her favorite son.
Pictures of happier times lined the walls, pulling me from memory to memory, wishing Esme could share my thoughts, wishing I could give her everything I have. She deserves it. She deserves to remember these faces, these smiles that used to mean so much to her. She's done nothing wrong, her life a true model to everyone around her, and yet she was dealt this ugly card that foreshadowed something much worse.
And as I open the door to our master bedroom and find my wife laying there, her head in her hands, her body rocking sluggishly, I know that the storm hasn't hit yet, that the worst times haven't arrived. See, when Aro took her I didn't have to see him torture her, but now, long after his death I still see his demons lurking around her body, her mind, her soul, tugging at her emotions and thoughts recklessly. His fingers have dug themselves so far inside her brain, essentially killing her from the inside out.
She groans at my presence but her eyes don't flicker open like I had hoped they would. No, her eyelids stay shut, as if she were saying 'leave me alone and let me suffer in silence'. Her frame jerks slightly as I sit on the bed, kicking off my shoes carefully. The threat of her immediate danger is over, but her emotional state is obviously is distress, and sometimes wounds of the heart are much harder to heal than wounds of the body.
"Not right now, Carlisle," she warned through clenched teeth.
"What's wrong, Essie? I need to know, so I can help you heal," I insisted, pulling her hand away so I could rub in gently. She sighed and allowed my ministrations to continue, even though her muscles were rigid and tight.
"Why did he do that to me? Why?" she cried, crawling into my lap, her face connecting with my shoulder almost instantly. It took less than a moment for me to realize what she was talking about. Sparse memories would sometimes appear, most of the time they would show up when a trigger was involved, something that would remind her of the memory. Some memories were harder to get then others, but hope is patient and victory will come. But this one memory I had been trying to avoid, but it seems my time is up, she's already seen his face and she is already scarred.
"I'll never know why Charles did what he did, the only thing we can do is try to move forward," I persisted.
"Don't say his name again," she hissed her voice full of hatred.
I coughed up an apology, surprised at her outburst. Charles has always been a touchy subject, but she's always been able to counter her bad memories with good ones. I suppose now with the lack of any memories she's having a hard time keeping Charles at bay.
"I feel so humiliated, Carlisle. He raped me hundreds of times and not a soul cared. Why didn't anyone care? Why weren't you there to save me?" she asked, lifting her head to stare into my eyes.
"I regret not making you a Cullen at sixteen every day of my life, Esme. I regret being cowardly and running from you, my love. But what is in the past is in the past. I cannot change anything, and neither can you. He was an awful man, and his actions were despicable and unlawful but he's gone and he'll never hurt you again. The only thing we can do is heal, and relish in the time we can share together now and for forever," I said, trying to lighten her mood.
She moaned, pulling away from my embrace. She flopped down so her back would face me. I sighed mentally; disgusted by the words I thought would help her.
"I can't heal, Carlisle. This man, my husband, I can't just forget what he did to me! How can you love someone that was ruined, tainted on your wedding night?" she cried, slamming her fist into the bed, rocking the mattress.
"Is that what this is all about? That you weren't a virgin when I married you?" I asked, hoping it wouldn't be so. She knows I don't care about that, that she's always been beautiful to me.
"No. Yes. Oh, I don't know! I'm so mad at what he did to me, how he crushed me inside and put. And I'm humiliated by the fact that you weren't my first, because God knows you should have been!"
"Essie, that doesn't affect anything. Does it help that the second time you marry me you'll have already had sex with me?" I asked naively, crossing my legs so I could peer over my wife's back. She glowered at me, a frown marring her face.
"Why on earth would that make me feel any better? If anything that makes me feel worse!" she screamed loudly, digging her face into a stray pillow, her sobs like daggers through my heart.
"I'm just trying to help, I'm sorry."
"I know," she mumbled. "And I love you for it."
"I love you too," I assured her, peeling off my jacket and pulling her close to my body. She snuggled into my chest, her venom tinged eyes staining my shirt.
I notice Esme's diamond ring glinting on my finger, and somehow that makes the situation that much worse. She's given me as much as she can, but she'll never be able to give me her virginity. But then again doesn't the ring symbolize hope? The wedding was supposed to be a new horizon, the closing off one chapter and the opening of the next. Maybe it's both, a blessing and a curse. A demon and an angel. A bride and a widow. Death and life.
()()()….()()()
Love it? Hate it? I actually liked this one, it was fun to bring out protective Carlisle and brat Edward (sorry if you didn't like that little bit, I just had to do it). I just really feel like that would be where Edward would stand. He's got a family now, Bella and Nessie, and I can see that going to his head. He's abandoned Carlisle and Esme before, what stops him from doing it again, especially now that Nessie is in the picture. Tell me your thoughts, and I'll try to get back to you! As always you guys seriously rock my world, all your reviews are so kind!
Lots of love!