Alright, I am back. And I am excited about this piece. It's going to be a couple parts, and it's going to finish off in Scully Point of View, which will tie things up nicely, I think. So, enjoy. No copy right intended.
Mulder had called me into his hospital room to sit with him. I knew it was because he was bored. He always called upon me when he wanted entertainment. How could I say no to him? I could practically see his puppy dog eyes through the telephone. And to know he called me, was somewhat endearing. So, I went ahead and cleared my not-so-busy schedule, to sit with him.
When I got there, he was bored, as I assumed. I had been pretending to read a magazine, but I was honestly, fully engrossed in him. I was watching his every move. I knew he was in a lot of pain, but he was clearly trying to pass it off as a mere scratch. Who was he kidding? I knew him better than that. He is stubborn as a bull. I could hear the way he was struggling for breath.
When he decided that he was bored out of his skull, after less than fifteen minutes, he chose to liven up the room with pure awkwardness. Damn him. I wasn't sure if he was being truthful or straight bored, but he confessed his feelings to me, in complete Mulder fashion.
He had told me about his little 'adventure.' The one where he went into the past, and I was somehow there. Whatever. I rolled my eyes to myself. But, what intrigued me was the way he had looked at me. He noticed me in a different aspect. He had looked at me in a different way than every day life for us.
He looked at me as a woman. In this life, he sees me as his partner, as his equal. He never looks at me as feminine, which I appreciate. Sure, I clearly am more womanly than a male agent. I smell differently. I dress differently. I am more orderly. I know he understands that. However, in this life, I am his work partner, and nothing more.
The way he talked about me in the past, shocked me. I was a little embarrassed. Maybe embarrassed isn't the right term. Flattered seems more appropriate. I was flattered, because Mulder had finally looked at me, actually noticed me. He noticed my hair, curves, and my feminine attitude. The best part was that he was turned on. It was obvious. The way he spoke showed he was interested. Finally Mulder had seen me as something more than his mundane partner. He had seen me as I truly am.
His little story seemed near impossible. I don't believe in his stories. They seem like delusions to me, but I listen. I always listen. I am the only one who listens. I honestly try to make sense of them. I believe there is at least a cornel of truth in every one of his theories or stories. He isn't completely off his nut, and I know that. He's a brilliant man.
I couldn't bring myself to believe that he had somehow traveled into the past. Who would honestly believe that, other than Mulder? I believed that maybe he had fallen and hit his head hard. I don't know what he had gotten into this time. This is Mulder we are talking about. He has done stranger things. What really caught my attention was the kiss.
When he had told me that I had decked him, I was enthralled. There was a point in time where all I wanted to do was punch him in the face. The first year of our partnership, I wanted to take him out, but I never did. I remained cool. So when he spoke of me punching him, I wondered what he could have done. Of course, I believed that he probably said something that pissed me off. I am known to lose my patience every once in a while. Who wouldn't with my partner?
When he told me he kissed me, and I reacted violently, I also believed that. In the beginning of our relationship, I probably would have done just that. But, now, I highly doubt I would break his face. He had kissed me good-bye. He thought he may never see me again, so he grabbed me, and that was the last thing he did. To me, that was incredibly sweet. In truth, I may have done the same thing had I been in his position. The thought of never seeing Mulder again takes my breath away. It hurts my heart. The last thing I would want to do on this planet is kiss him good-bye. To know that he did the same, melted my heart.
After Mulder had assured me it had been anything but fantastic, I had been convinced. I can't begin to explain why. I just believed. I guess I followed my heart, as cliché as that sounds. Plus, the bruise on his face seemed like enough evidence to me. I know my left hooks, and that was my trade mark. Ask my brother, Bill.
But what he said to me next, blew my mind. He had told me he loved me. At first, I couldn't be too sure. I had seen his medical chart, and he was clearly on a heavy dose of morphine. I am a doctor, and I have seen how people react to the medication. They say what they don't mean. He was talking strange to begin with, and then he decided to admit his most inner feelings. Was I really supposed to believe him? Would you?
I dismissed him quickly, mostly as a defense mechanism. It's something I have mastered. But, once I looked into his eyes and gave it some thought, he seemed genuine. Our glances always told the truth. Our glances did more justice than any words could ever do. And at that moment, I believed him. I had no other choice. He meant it, and my heart had felt it before my brain could even comprehend.
So, I looked into his eyes with just as much intensity as he did mine, and I told him what I felt. I had feelings for him to. My feelings matched his, and there was absolutely no denying it. I could have lied and brushed him off, but we both knew what my heart was feeling. Lips can lie, but the eyes cannot.
Once we had confessed our feelings, I had to escape. Not because I was feeling confused or smothered. This wasn't anything new. I didn't just figure out my feelings towards Mulder. I have known for a very long time. But, visiting times were over almost an hour ago, and I was pushing my luck. It seems that the nurses don't swoon over me, as they do Mulder. I couldn't get away with the crap that he always does. Tough break.
So I left him with a promise of busting him out of the hospital early in the morning. But, only if he promised to behave. If he didn't, I would tell the nurses to keep him a day extra. Don't ever underestimate a doctors power. If I really wanted to, I would recommend he stay an extra week, claiming he had something else going on. After all, I am his personal physician. Whatever I say goes.
As I say good-bye, we thoroughly glance at each other, speaking volumes. It's something I have always treasured with Mulder. There are no words needed, just gazes. It would be a shame if one of us lost our eye sight. We would have to communicate like a normal couple. Though, we do have our intimate touches that also hold incredible emotions. But our eyes speak more than anything. I silently shudder at that awful thought. I'd never want to lose sight of those green eyes.
But, for now I must leave him and go home. I will go home and process tonight's events, and hopefully I will be ready for tomorrow. Let's be honest, I will be taking care of Mulder for a few days. I better prepare.