"I have scars on my hands from touching certain people"

J.D. Salinger

KISS ME AGAIN

Doc Appleby looked at Daisy's fierce eyes and then, carefully, at Enos, behind her, who's eyes looked down at the ground. What's the matter with them? Was it because of Enos' hives and the way he called off their wedding? Maybe Daisy found out that…, no, it wasn't because of the hives, Doc Appleby remembered the new rumor in town: Rose Strate was back.

He had a deep sigh, "How's your stomach, Enos?"

"Not well. He's just vomited". In Daisy's tone Doc Appleby couldn't understand if it was worry or rage, but the old doctor knew Daisy Duke enough to understand it was her way to show her concern by masking it with rage.

"Daisy, there's no need to tell him everything". In Enos's tone, on the contrary, defeat and embarrassment.

The doctor shook his head, "Come on, Enos, I'm goin' to check what's wrong".

They walked to Doc's little office and they sat down around a big table, Doc Appleby in front of Enos and Daisy, looking at them: Enos kept on looking down at the floor, fidgeting with his hat, whereas Daisy looked at Doc Appleby with her fierce and worried eyes.

Slowly, Doc Appleby took a pen and a white sheet, "So, what's the problem, Enos?"

"Only a stomachache, but I'm fine. It can't be appendicitis, again, anyway"

Doc Appleby shook his head, putting gently down his pen and standing up, "OK, Enos, take off your shirt and lay down on the exam table. And you, Daisy, please, go out".

"But… I'm fine. Really. There's no need…"

"Enos, please", Doc Appleby stopped his complaining; he knew Enos didn't like human touch and especially bein' visited by a doctor, and, unfortunately, Doc Appleby knew why: he couldn't remember all the countless times he had to visit Enos since he was a child because of his clumsiness, and, he suspected, not only because of his clumsiness but because of Opie Strate. Unfortunately Doc Appleby hadn't any proof against Opie Strate, and Enos had always denied Opie's responsibility 'bout his various bruises, scratches and bumps.

Daisy stood up and she walked slowly to the door, her eyes on Enos waiting to take off his shirt 'till she closed the door behind her, nearly bumping against Doc Appleby's wife.

"Daisy Duke, you're really lusting for Enos Strate, aren't you?", the middle aged woman laughed amused, and Daisy turned red.

"Mrs. Appleby! I'm not… lusting, I'm only worried".

Mrs. Appleby smiled sweetly to her, "I know, I know, Daisy, I'm only trying to relax you. Come on, we could drink my special tea in the kitchen while my husband visits and talks to Enos. There's no need to stay here in the corridor", the woman walked past Daisy, heading to the kitchen as Daisy walked behind her, her cheeks still red. "Anyway", Mrs. Appleby turned her head to Daisy, "you looked like you're really lusting for him", then she chuckled, and Daisy felt her cheeks burning. She wasn't offended for Mrs. Appleby's words 'cause she knew that woman enough to understand in her words there was no malice but only sweetness and, moreover, she knew in Mrs. Appleby's joking there was something true.

Sitting at the kitchen table as Mrs. Appleby was preparing her tea, Daisy started to think of the strange last month after their nearly wedding: Enos wasn't any more so shy and clumsy 'round her, and he seemed to have gained much more self confidence than usual ('till Rose Strate's arrive), but not enough self confidence to kiss her the same way he did at the lake the day she asked him to marry her. They were somehow dating officially but they acted more like close friends than like boyfriend and girlfriend. She couldn't deny to herself she missed that kiss, and she couldn't deny to herself she thought of Enos in a new way, a more physical way, and yeah, Mrs. Appleby was right, it was… lust.

Enos silently buttoned his shirt sitting at the office's table as Doc Appleby wrote something on a white sheet of paper.

"An anti-acid, it's what you need, Enos. At least, it's what your stomach needs", Doc Appleby looked from the sheet up to Enos, his eyes lingering on him before to look down again, "How's your mother?"

Enos kept his eyes on his shirt's buttons, intent on his getting dressed, but Doc Appleby caught his mild trembling and his slowing in getting dressed, his fingers now fighting with his shirt's buttons and a shy smile on his face hiding his discomfort.

"She's like usual. Nut". No rage, no pain, no amusement, nothing in his tone but a cold and indifferent statement.

Doc Appleby rested his head against his armchair, having a deep sigh and pinching the upper part of his nose between his right thumb and forefinger, his eyes closed, "Enos…", then he shook his head, taking again his pen in his right hand and starting to tapping it on the wooden table, gently, looking at Enos, "Enos, you shouldn't talk like that", he looked down at the table, "She did leave the Institute five years ago, didn't she?"

"Yeah, she usually stays there for a while, then, when she feels better, she leaves. She left five years ago, goin' I don't know where, and now she's here. Then, probably, she'll go again to the Institute for a while, and then she'll leave again, coming back I don't know when, again. Again, again, and again. In and out". Now his hands were fighting with his tie, in his mind the various times along his life he went to visit her at the Ridge Institute, a not-for-profit provider of psychiatric and addiction treatment lost in the Georgia's Blue Ridge Mountains, two hours by car far away from Hazzard.

"I gotta go, now, Doc Appleby. Thank you for this anti-acid, it'll be useful". Enos stood up, he took the sheet from the table and he headed to the door, Doc Appleby's disappointed eyes on him.

Hearing the office's door opening, Daisy stood up without even finishing to drink her tea and she ran to Enos.

"Enos, sugar, are you OK? What did Doc Appleby tell you?"

"Gastritis. And he gave me an anti-acid. As I told you, nothing to worry about", he put on his hat without looking at her and he walked to the door, "and now, I have to go to the Bank, or Rosco and Boss will kill me", he chuckled.

Finally outside Doc Appleby's house, Daisy grabbed his hand, squeezing it strongly, "Enos, please. I want only you to know… I'm worried for you, sugar. If you need any… If you want to talk to someone, I'm here. Don't forget 'bout it".

He looked silently at her, and Daisy couldn't say exactly what his look meant, it was like he was analyzing her. Finally he smiled sweetly and he leant over her, whispering in her ear, "I know Daisy, you've always been so kind to me. Thank you for everything", then he kissed gently her cheek.

Daisy, shocked, let his hand slip out hers, and she looked at him walking away, not at all satisfied by his words and of his gentle kiss: it was a way to talk to a friend, not to a fiancé, and in his tone there was a sort of quiet surprise and somehow embarrassment in knowing someone was really worried for him. Was it so difficult for him to believe someone could love him, really love him? Why did he always seem to take people's affection as a gesture of pity? And her gestures too? Disappointed, she folded her arms and she bit her lower lip, her eyes still on him walking to the Bank.

And her eyes were still on him when Rosco walked to him, his fist raised as he shouted at him something Daisy couldn't hear from where she was, but she perfectly saw Enos cower and raise his arms in defense.

Entering his apartment in the evening, Enos found his mother sitting on his bed, her eyes lost outside the window, no light in the room despite the darkness outside; did she stay like that all day long? A ashtray (where did she find that ashtray?) full of butts and a lighter on the night table near the bed seemed a proof of this hypothesis, the same way as the smoke's smell filling the room, and he hated that smell.

That same lighter on a night table near the bed, a dark room filled of cigarettes' smoke, only the moonlight entering the window, and a man burying his face against his mother's chest; he was a little child (three? Four years old?), walking to his parents' room (his father, a moonshiner, was out, but his mother was there) after a nightmare and stopping on the threshold after slowly opening the door, and then running back to his bedroom, the door closing behind him. It was the same smoke's smell, the same cigarettes' brand.

He felt sick, he switched the light on and he walked to the window, opening it wide, "I don't want you to smoke here, mom".

"And I don't want you to be a such gentleman, acting like a saint 'cause you need to be accepted by people, whereas you know perfectly well you're a loser".

Enos stiffened, clenching briefly his fists and blushing (because of rage? Or 'cause he thought she was right? He didn't know it), but controlling his voice and even managing to have a smile, "How's your headache? When I left, this morning, you were still sleeping, but I suppose you had a bad headache after… yesterday evening. Did you eat something? Cigarettes are not good to sober up"

"Oh, Enos. I'm so sorry. I'm so nasty… and you're so sweet to me. It's that… yeah, maybe it's because of the headache, and…", she started to talk randomly 'bout alcohol, smoke, weather, food, music, her life before to come back to Hazzard, and a lot of useless things 'till she burst out crying, her face buried against Enos's chest, her hands grabbing his arms.

And Enos wasn't surprise by it, he knew pretty well her way to shift from bein' nasty to that desperate crying. It was a prelude to something he knew very well.

"I think… I need to stay at the Ridge Institute, for a while", she sniffed against his chest.

For a while.

"Ok, mom, tomorrow I'm goin' to call Doc Martin, then I'm goin' to give you a lift".

For a while. He wondered what "for a while" meant, this time: three months as the last time? How long was she goin' to stay (and was he goin' to visit her, knowing the best side of her, the side he loved but the side that lasted for a such a short time?) before leaving again? And, at the Institute, was he goin' to meet her again?… Miss Kate?