"Feel the bō staff. Get a feel for how long it is. Once you have done that, grasp a third of the way down the staff with your right hand. Palm facing up," Jiraiya stood a ways away, watching Hoshiko fumble around with the staff in her hands. Teaching Hoshiko would be hard, not impossible, but especially for someone who quite obviously was not a sensor.

Hoshiko told him she usually was a long range fighter, but it wouldn't do to only be good in one area. So he decided to teacher how to use the staff she was given. It was the perfect weapon for her in her current state.

Short range, not too heavy, can serve as both a weapon and a walking stick. It would also double as a cover. Make her seem weak to an enemy (internally Jiraiya made a note to himself, teach Hoshiko how to disguise herself properly), like she was an invalid.

The philosophy to not underestimate your opponent was taught to all, but surprisingly few ninjas actually followed it. Many liked to show off, giving away all of their moves and intentions in one fell swoop.

"Good. Now, lower it so it's horizontal to your body, with your right fist just above the bottom of your ribs. Once you've done that, you can mess around, and get used to the weight of the staff." Jiraiya would make her the best she could be.

Hoshiko tried to avoid the fist rushing at her face and barely got away. It scraped across her face. She fell to her knees and scrambled away from Nagato's fist. She occasionally skittered to the left or right when she heard Nagato's splashing footsteps get particularly close.

Hoshiko bolted up and tried to kick Nagato when she got far enough away from him. Her leg was caught in his palm and pushed forward. Caught off balance she fell back onto the ground.

The twelve second scramble on the ground resulted in Hoshiko pinned face down, muddy and agitated. Nagato panted lightly above her, not easing up a bit.

"Nagato: fourteen, Hoshiko: zero! C'mon Hoshi, I thought you said you could fight!" Yahiko whined a few feet away while Nagato eased off of her back. Hoshiko tilted her head slightly and glared at where she presumed Yahiko to be, and then pouted.

"...I'm better against people when I have a weapon..." Hoshiko muttered into the mud that seemed to coat everything. The only thing untouched by the mud was the inside of (most) buildings. Even the people had mud on them somewhere. She sighed into the mud.

"That can be arranged." Konan spoke up from the sidelines, "here's your bō, Hoshiko-san." Hoshiko heard the displacement of air, but did nothing to stop it from hitting her, accepting that it would be better to let it hit her and be embarrassed, than get embarrassed by failing to catch it. Better to be considered lazy over incompetent. The dull thunk of it hitting her back (and Yahiko's snickers) made her face flare up in embarrassment again.

Hoshiko groped for the bō and rolled over to push herself up.

"I'm here, Hoshiko-san." Hoshiko shifted in Nagato's direction, and raised her bō.

"Three, two, one... Start!" Yahiko called out the they both rushed at each other.

Hoshiko lost, horribly, but she did give Nagato some bruises before she lost, again.

"Hey, Konan-chan, can I touch your face?" Hoshiko bit her lip and asked hesitantly. She leaned further into the fingers carding through her hair.

"Why?" Konan stared at Hoshiko in curiosity, only pausing momentarily.

"You know how I can't see? The visions of you weren't very clear... and..." Hoshiko mumbles something really lowly to where Konan couldn't hear her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that. Could you repeat that?" Konan asked not unkindly. Gently she started to braid a crown and pulled Hoshiko's hair into a high ponytail.

"You just... you just had a real cute face, and I wanted see, um feel? Never mind..." Hoshiko blushed and pulled away from Konan's fingers. She stopped when Konan gently tugged her hair.

"You can touch my face, Hoshiko-san. Just be gentle." Konan lightly grabbed Hoshiko's shoulders and turned her to face her. Konan took hold of Hoshiko's hands and slowly brought Hoshiko's hands up to her face.

Konan watched Hoshiko's hands flutter over her face, a small smile took over when she saw Hoshiko's blushing face.

"You, you are cute... Thank you." Hoshiko turned away from Konan and suddenly stood up.

"I have to go practice with my bō, um, bye!" Hoshiko didn't have to practice with her bō for another hour, Konan realized as she watched Hoshiko run away.

"Hey, hey! Jiraiya-sensei, could you teach me about seals?"

"Absolutely not."

"Today I'll teach you how to walk on water, and improve your horrible chakra control. Normally we'd start on something easier, like tree walking. But Ame doesn't have trees and I don't want to damage a building." Jiraiya idly scratched at the back of his head. He watched Hoshiko's expression shift from incredulity to understanding, like someone not there had just whispered her the answer.

"This'll be a piece of cake!" Hoshiko turned and walked away from the water. Jiraiya snorted.

"The lake is in the other direction, Hoshiko." She went red and whirled around, mud flying everywhere. If she wasn't blind and disoriented, he might've feared a retaliation. Ha, puny little thing.

"I knew that!" Hoshiko stomped right into the lake, only stopping when she realized that she was calf deep. She stiffened and then slowly backed up until she was out of the water. She could just hear Jiraiya laughing at her. She shook her head and focused on sending a tiny amount of chakra to her feet. That was the only conclusion she could come to.

Jiraiya didn't tell her how to do this but he'd mentioned chakra control, and a voice (probably one of Tou-san's memories, weird how the memories haven't come to her all at once, this was one of the more obvious times. The first was when she saw Nagato's eyes.) whispering how to do it helped her piece together how to (theoretically) water walk.

Hoshiko let her foot tap the surface of the shallows, and felt a sliver of victory rise up. She shifted her weight minutely, and flailed around when her foot went under. She looked around reflexively to see who saw, but startled when she remembered she couldn't see anymore. Hoshiko buried the emotions deep down and focused on her chakra.

It took her three weeks to be able to stand on water.

"Yahiko-kun, can I touch your face?" Hoshiko asked suddenly, they had just finished dinner and only Konan remained with the two.

"Uhhh... why?" Yahiko scrunched up his face and looked even more confused when Konan glared at him. Konan pointedly shook her head up and down and nodded at Hoshiko.

"I want to know what you look like, at least a more current version of you?" Hoshiko ended uncertainly. Well that didn't sound creepy at all. Not everybody has seen versions of the future, of course that would be creepy.

"Oh! Yeah why not! Why didn't you just start with that?" Yahiko crawled onto the pillow next to Hoshiko and let her feel his face.

Hoshiko had been thinking about her gender. She realized that the other lives had all felt like this. Her past lives had felt like this, like she wasn't exactly a boy a hundred percent of the time. But it was the opposite here.

Hoshiko thought that choosing to be a girl here would get rid of that feeling, but it only pronounced it. Sometimes she wanted to correct Yahiko whenever he called her a she, but she was a she. But on the other hand, she was comfortable in this body (except for those first few times when she had to pee and she just blankly stared at the toilet). But sometimes she really wanted to step back into the comfort of her... his old body.

Hoshiko rolled onto her back and gently touched her boob. Then pinched her arm. This was real. She was a girl.

But did she have to be? Hoshiko had met plenty of people similar to her in her old worlds. Transgender. But it wasn't right. Transgender seemed too limited compared to what Hoshiko felt. Hoshiko was comfortable being both a boy and a girl, sometimes just one, and a few rare times, neither.

Hoshiko just wanted to exist.

A/N: kind of dropped off because of lack of motivation and feedback. please review.