It was a Friday night their junior year of college, It had been two weeks since her break up with another boyfriend. He swore it seemed like since the moment they had first set foot on campus, Kelly was bombarded with suitors, whose affections she of course did not dissuade. Though most of these suitors soon became Exes, much like the most recent; and through each departure he was there to help mend her heart.
It wasn't until he took the bouquet of flowers in his hand from the clerk he noticed how sweaty his palms were. He felt his pulse pickup as he studied the floral arrangement. It was artful mixture of pink tulips and white Gardenia, not a typical bouquet assortment, but they were her favorites. After shoving the change he received from the clerk into his pocket he roughly wiped the palm of he now free hand on the side of his jeans. Then once switching the bouquet to the dry hand proceeded to do the same with the other. Leaving the florist he walked at an even pace down the side walk towards the dorms, The closer he became to his destination the more his nerves got to him.
I don't know why I'm so nervous about this. He thought breathing deeply.
If an un-charming loser like Punk can ask her to go out with him, I should have nothing to worry about. He mentally reasoned with a lengthy exhale.
Opening the door to the entrance of the dorms, he felt his resolve strengthen as he continued re-thinking his mental pep talk. Although as he got on the elevator and pressed the button of the floor number his nerves remained jittery. Standing in front of the door, finally at his destination. He swore his stomach felt like Jell-O that was being tap danced on by over-sized butterflies. Moving his hand that held the bouquet behind his back, he shakily reached out with the other, to firmly knock. His arm had barely returned to rest at his side before the door was opened.
"Hi Kelly got a minute?" He greeted pleasantly surprised his voice came out much stronger than he felt.
"Hey Alex sure no problem come in" Kelly answered cheerily, Shutting the door as he entered, he scanned the room noticing she appeared to be alone.
"Where's Layla?" he asked referring to her dorm mate.
"She went to Michelle McCool's for a study group on an AP test they have coming up" She answered.
Ok one less thing to worry about. He thought. While he was fond of and friends with the fiery brit. He found her a bit overbearing and more than a bit nosy. So with her out for a while he could feel a little more at ease about expressing himself.
"So, what's up?" Everything ok?" The blond questioned, arching a brow as she noticed his arm was oddly behind his back.
"Uh, yeah actually I do" He began. Now starting hearing the uneasy feeling creep into his tone.
"Okay, shoot" Kelly said nonchalantly.
Okay here it goes he thought as he cleared his throat.
"Well," he froze his mouth still open as if to continue speaking, but the words just would not form.
"You alright?" she asked cocking her head to the side, observing that the expression on Alex's face mirrored that of a teller in the beginning of a stick-up.
"Yeah I'm fine" He giving his head a quick shake. Knowing it was nothing short of a miracle he had found just those words. Come on get it together Man! He mentally coached. His stomach was quivering as if those butterflies were going into a big finish finale.
"I brought you some flowers" He informed removing the hidden bouquet from behind him, extending them toward her. "Your favorites, right?" His inflection more asking than stating, hoping the gift would buy him a little time to get comfortable.
"Yeah, they are." Her face lighting up as she took hold of the stem.
"Thank you Alex, this is sweet." She smiled. Observing that he still maintained a look of unease he smile faded.
"Is this all?" She questioned.
Wiping his palms for a final time. "No, that's not all." He answered resolving his will, feeling his nerves steady. Focusing his eyes to hers his stomach quelled.
"I'm here because I wanted no, needed to tell you honestly how I feel, how I've have always felt" he stated. Her focus matched all the seriousness of his, and for the second time since they were teenagers did the atmosphere permeate that indescribable sensation that seemed to weigh down the air around them. Now it felt as if the force took a hold of their senses, affected the room too; pulling the walls closer to them.
"From the first day we me, the first time I ever saw you I told you I loved you." "I was only five years old but I knew just unquestioningly knew that I loved you. But then again, at the time I also thought Bug-men lived on the moon and under my bed too" He admitted smiling warmly at her smirk.
"I thought I was wrong that my feelings for you would change, but they didn't. I love you, well am in love with you" Alex paused for a moment to draw breath in. Finding it odd that he clearly and calmly just told her he loved, was in love with her. But what he planned on saying next is what made his heart thump soundly against his ears. "Why I'm really here, is to ask if you want to be my girlfriend?"
A look of shock expressed Kelly's face, as the question lingered. "Uh…..Well Alex the thing is." Kelly stammered shifting her stance nervously. Alex felt an uneasiness begin to settle in the pit of his stomach, as he watched her movements. The finally standing still Kelly exhaled deeply.
"Alex I care about you too, I really do. It's just that" she trailed off sighing into silence.
"It's just that what?' he prodded the sensation of unease starting to fester. The force that before seemed to pull everything in with magnetic strength now repelled. He could feel it, sense it, all signs pointed to it. Yet he still found himself hoping so fiercely for the opposite.
"It's just that I don't see you like that, I just don't. We're just friends Alex" She explained gingerly her eyes drifting towards the floor as she finished. There it was the words, the response that while expressed in a very gentle way cut him deeper that the dullest serrated blade. The uneasiness that festered and swelled up to this point now burst, gushing all of the worst feelings one could have. His vision now clouding from the tears he could not contain, never left the spot she stood.
"I don't understand" he stated his tone uneven. Raising her head she looked back at him concerned filling her features as she saw the tears barely held back.
"Oh, Alex-"she was interrupted.
"No' He firmly stated.
"I don't understand why you can shut me down so easily, when I genuinely care about you and you know that. You've given countless other guys when couldn't have cared less a lot more courtesy. At the very least you could have agreed to a date, Punk got that much right?" He spat harshly. He knew he was being harsh, but he truly could not help it his heart hurt badly.
"We're just friends" Kelly repeated so softly she almost whispered. There they were again, those words that cut him to the very core, this time salting over the wounds.
"I'm sorry" Her voice choked as she suppressed her own anguish. Instantly he regretted his unrestrained words now. He was hurt that was true, but no matter how bad he felt he never wanted her to feel an ounce of pain, ever. He moved so quickly he barely heard her soft gasp of surprise as he enveloped her into his arms, with a firm hug. Resting the side of his head against hers gently.
"No, I'm sorry" He whispered beside her ear, "I shouldn't have said that, it was uncalled for and I hope you forgive me" He continued pulling away from her. Surprise mixed with a sullenness still etched on her face.
"I'm going to go" he stated turning to make his way to the door, wiping his eyes as he went.
"Wait Alex don't, I'm sorry. You're right we should-"She rambled grabbing the back of the sleeve of his shirt.
"It's alright Kelly we're just friends. Don't worry about it" He stated. Letting go of his sleeve she let the sound of his footsteps accompanied with the door shutting respond for her.