Timmy Turner and Hootch

by Technomaru

One day Timmy Turner looks through "Da Rules" and realizes he can wish for the one thing that kids cannot drink that isn't covered by the rulebook... but just like what happens when you give a kid beer... STUFF WILL HAPPEN! Story contains moral in the end

4. Leaving Dimmsdale

The Fairly Oddparents in "Timmy Turner and Hootch"

Chapter 4: Leaving Dimmsdale

Note: I DEFINATELY do not own Fairly Oddparents... I hope my girlfriend never reads this story due to it's content.

This fanfic was inspired by something I saw online that I just realized, I guess the fairies need to check up in "Da Rules" throughly or else this would happen...

"Due to my strong personal convictions, I wish to stress that this chapter in no way endorses underage drinking."

-Technomaru-

Despite what the Thriller warning parody says, I am against underage drinking and this is not meant to be taken seriously until the final chapter.

The original title was going to be "Timmy and the Stupid Juice" This chapter might get really dark! So dark that even this chapter's title is a parody of that Nicolas Cage movie "Leaving Las Vegas" which is about (ironically) a alcoholic.

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(Cut to a newsroom)

We interrupt this fanfic with a news update

Chet Ubecha appears in a newsroom and broadcasts this bulletin:

"Hello Dimmsdale and readers of this site I have a important announcement... this is the only chapter I appear in. well anyway here's the recap. Timmy Turner realizes that wishing for beer is not covered in the fairy rulebook so like any reckless kid he decides to do so by drinking and causing alot of awkward moments to happen and made fun of Trixie's badunkadunk... plus he peed in a beer bottle and his dad drank it just like that scene in "Dumb and Dumber".

Then it gets worse folks, Timmy used his drunkeness to come up with a plan to get rid of Vicky forever involving Chris Hensen and "Dateline: to catch a predator" and after a few more drinks he admit that "he is happy and he doesn't need his fairies anymore" and so Cosmo and Wanda disappear and Timmy is unaware of it. Now we cut to Timmy waking up and realizing what he just did.

Oh and in other news, Britney Britney admits she is creeped out by Chris Crocker's video on TooYube "Leave Britney Britney alone!" and yes Chris Crocker is "crockpot's" cousin! Also in other news, more criminals die of heart attacks and I doubt it has anything to do with Chester Mcbadbat's new "notebook".

Now back to the fanfic in progress

Timmy Turner wakes up with a headache. Poof was nudging him till he is fully away. Timmy then says, "Oh man, hey Poof, where is Cosmo and Wanda?" Poof kept saying "Poof! Poof!" Timmy is shocked and says, "What's that boy? Timmy fell down the well? Umm I mean, Cosmo and Wanda are not here?"

Poof then uses his magic to replay a scene from the last chapter.

"Vicky is being dragged away kicking and screaming and well... this is the last time Timmy will ever see her!

When Chris and everyone leaves the house, Timmy then shouts, "YAHOO! NO MORE ICKY VICKY! And I owe it all to this magic elixer called "alcohol"!"

Then Cosmo and Wanda dread in fear over what the drunken Timmy then yells out...

"I'M SO HAPPY! I DON'T NEED MY FAIRY GODPARENTS ANYMORE!

To Cosmo and Wanda's horror, Timmy says that and then they magically disappear. Timmy sees this and then he says in a drunken state, "Oh look, I see they're taking a vacation to "Dairyworld" Have a nice time" Then Timmy falls to the ground, happy that Vicky will no longer abuse him again... that and he has a huge stash of beer, unaware of what he just did!"

Timmy's eye bulge and his jaw drops! Timmy then looks at Poof and says, "Let me guess... you're still here because you don't have a fairy godchild... but I performed "the worst deed" and now they're gone...

WHAT HAVE I DONE!

Poof then points at the stash of beer. Timmy then says to himself and Poof, "Now I know why kids aren't supposed to have beer... it impairs their judgement and makes them foolish... it costed me Cosmo and Wanda... it causes headaches... plus I think I have liver cancer... AND THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU BOTTLES OF POISON"

Poof then transforms into a axe and Timmy then proceeds to destroy every bottle of alcohol with the poof-axe then he falls to the ground and breaks down crying. Poof then turns back to normal and then tries to confort Timmy but he ends up crying with Timmy while saying in his own words, "MOMMA! PAPPA! WAAAHHH!"

Then the curtain drops in this stage and sad music plays.

Then all of a sudden, fairy versions of Crystal, Ronette, and Chiffon from "Little Shop of Horrors" flies towards the audience and sing their song about what happened after Timmy's abuse of wishing for beer and the fact that Timmy's not the only kid with that horrible idea...:

(Sung to the tune of "Don't feed the plants" from "Little Shop of Horrors". The song appears in the stage musical and the alternate ending to the movie)

"Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed

Similar events in cities across America

Events which bore a striking resemblance

To the ones you have just seen- began occurring

Subsequent to the events you have just witnessed,

Unsuspecting Kids from Maine to California

Made the acquaintance of a new loophole of rules

And fairies got sweet-talked into feeding them beer.

(Tootie and Chester finally get fairy godparents... and they wish for beer!)

Thus the kids worked their terrible will

Finding fairies who would feed them their fill

And the kids proceeded to drink and drink...

And begin what they came here to do

Which was essentially to

drink in Cleveland and Des Moines

And Amity Park and New York

and where you live!

(Drunken kids rampage the many cities while a bunch of fairies appear and sing along to the rest of the song)

They may wish for fortune and fame

Love and money and instant acclaim

But whatever they wish for

Don't feed them beer!

They may wish for lot of cheap thrills

Fancy condos in Beverly Hills

But whatever they wish for

Don't feed them beer!

Look out! Here comes the fairies!

Look out!

Cosmo: Here I come for you!

Juandissimo Magnifico: I come for you!

Billy Crystal Ball: I come for you!

Simon Sparklefield: I come for you!

(The four fairies fly over kids and drop bottles of "Schwarzenlager: the beer of German actors" with parachutes on them to the kids. Jorgan Von Strangle collects two and starts drinking as well, the rampage and destruction the drunken kids cause continues and at one point a rather drunken Tad and Chad start spraying champagne on Trixie and Veronica. Chompy the goat drinks a beer and headbutts Doug Dimmadome while drunk.

Mr. Crocker sees all this and says to himself, "Without a doubt. This apocalyptic episode is caused by no other than... FAIRY GODPAREN...." But all of a sudden, Mr. Crocker spasmed to the point where his is head is up his... umm... you know! then he thinks to himself, "Mother was right, one day this would happen!")

Hold your hat and hang on to your soul

Something's coming to drink the world whole

If we fight it we've still got a chance

But whatever they wish for

Though they're slopping the trough for you

Please, whatever they wish for

Don't feed them beer!

April Fool: What's up with that?

DON'T FEED THEM BEER!"

However Timmy Turner makes a discovery, he finds out that...