Chapter 4

No one else had the chance to visit with Zoe. Within minutes of Dean calling for help Mary ushered he and Amber back to waiting room while Zoe was whisked away.

"What's going on?' Lexi asked as Dean eased into the closest chair.

"They're taking Zoe in for emergency surgery," Amber explained as she shook her head. "Something about the External Ventricular Drain being clogged." She shrugged. "I have no idea what that means."

"What is this external drain thing?" Roman asked.

"It's a small tube they placed inside her skull to siphon off the excess fluids building up in Zoe's brain," Dean answered. "Apparently, the doctor's back at the hospital in Pennsylvania placed it when they did the initial surgery. It's suppose to help alleviate the excess pressure on her brain." God he was tired. Dean leaned his head back against the wall and toyed with the idea of closing his eyes. "The idea was that eventually she'd be well enough they could remove it."

"Wait." Seth held up a hand. "If it's external why does she need surgery?"

"Because," Dean said. "They think the clog is on the end that is inside her skull." He sighed heavily then slapped the arm of the chair as fear and helplessness took hold. "Fuck! And she was actually making progress. It was the first time since before the accident she'd been coherent enough to try and talk."

Amber eased down into the chair next to Dean "She'll be okay. You heard the doctor. In the grand scheme it's a very minor setback."

Dean nodded. "Minor as long as they get it fixed before the pressure in her brain gets too high. Damn it, she's already suffered one stroke. She might not make it through another."

Time seemed to crawl as Dean waited for word on Zoe's condition. He struggled to nap in the uncomfortable chair while Lexi and Roman took Alea down to the main lobby to look at the giant fish tank. Two hours passed before Doctor Morgan walked into the waiting room, his surgical cap in his hand. "Dean?"

Dean looked up his heart in his throat.

Doctor Morgan gave him a small smile. "We found the blockage and replaced the drain. I don't believe she suffered any further damage."

Dean closed his eyes and let out a sigh even as Amber whispered a 'Thank God' next to him. "When can I see her?"

Doctor Morgan shook his head. "She's in critical care for the next several hours. We'll have to monitor her closely as she comes out of anesthesia . You're best bet is to come back in the morning."

Dean pushed from the chair and braced himself on one crutch. "I know I'm being a huge pain in the ass, but two minutes, Doc. I won't be able to relax until I see her for myself. All I'm asking for is two minutes, so I can see that she's really okay. Then I'll go home."

Doctor Morgan glanced around the room at the others, then slowly nodded. "Two minutes. I'll have Mary escort you."

"Thank you," Dean murmured.

A few minutes later he hobbled down the hallway with Mary. "I know this has been hard for you," she began. "It's always hard on the loved ones."

Dean smirked. "You have no idea."

"Actually, I do," she replied. "I've worked this ward for several years and I've seen a lot of grieving families come through those doors." She motioned to the elevators at the other end of the hall. "I've also seen a lot leave grieving because their loved one didn't make it." She stopped and placed a gentle hand on Dean's arm. "She's still here, Dean. That's huge considering the impact she sustained in that accident." Her blue eyes sparkled beneath the glow of the hospital lights. "I know it's hard to remain optimistic when it feels like you're facing insurmountable odds, but you have to remember she's also made great progress since waking. That's reason to hold on to hope."

Dean looked down to where the pretty brunette's hand covered his. He knew she was only trying to help, but at the moment he was feeling more than a little bitter and emotionally raw. "Hope for what? That she might eventually remember me? That she'll eventually be able to feed herself. That maybe she'll be able to walk again or communicate like a normal human being?" He shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I can't allow myself to get my hopes up too much. Not when the life I had with her is gone. All of our future plans were wiped out in the blink of an eye." He cocked his head to the side and stared at the nurse. "Just what kind of life does she have to look forward to now?"

"One filled with love and joy and an understanding that every moment is precious," Mary replied without hesitation. She shook her head. "No, she won't ever be exactly the same person you knew before the accident, but that doesn't mean she won't get close. Heck, for all you know she might come out of this better."

Dean's lips twitched at her optimism. Better...right. "You are a tenacious little thing."

Mary nodded. "I know and I also know that if you love Zoe half as much as it appears, then you'll find it somewhere inside yourself to place your faith in her. Just the fact that she's survived this long tells me she's strong and probably more than capable of handling everything she's about to face. I think the real question is...are you?"

Hours later, as he sat in the living room with Alea on his lap, Mary's question hung over him like a persistent rain cloud. At first he'd been put off by her brazen statement. How dare she say such a thing to him? Did she have any idea who she was talking to? He was after all, Dean Ambrose, up and coming superstar heel of the WWE. He fought guys bigger than him on a nightly basis and didn't flinch. Hell, he'd spent years scratching and clawing his way up the ranks to get where he was. He could handle whatever life tossed his way. He wasn't afraid of anything…

Except this…

He watched as Alea's face twisted in frustration while she banged a square block at the round hole, trying to make it fit. Gently he reached out, turned the toy so the correct opening showed then guided her hand over the hole. The block slid in effortlessly and Alea let loose a giggle as turned her head and looked up at Dean. The innocent joy in her face made him smile. Life was so easy at that age and everything in the world was fresh and new.

His smiled faded as he once again thought about Zoe. It was hard to admit that he was afraid, but the sad reality was just that. This was something outside of his control and he was terrified of how things would end. He handed Alea another block, then stroked a hand through the fine dark hair on her head. She was so sweet...so unaware to what the real world could be like. Would Zoe be like that as she rediscovered her world?

Fuck!

He scrubbed his free hand over his face as he wrestled with the harshness of his reality. Damn if Mary wasn't right, though. Not once had he really considered Zoe in all of this. Zoe was a strong woman. Stubborn with a determination unlike anyone he'd ever seen, aside from maybe Lexi, she was the kind of person who set a goal, then didn't stop until she reached it.

Who was to say how far she could go in her recovery, especially if she received the proper support and therapy? This wasn't, he realized, with a certain amount of shame, about him in the slightest. It was never about him and the quicker he sucked up his feelings and focused on what was truly important, the better chance they both had of Zoe return home.