Hello my lovelies! Here's another chapter for your (hopefully) happy holidays! Once again, I am not nearly talented enough to be able to claim LOTR or HOBBIT as my own works. I do not own anything…
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Furionknight: You asked for more, you wish has been granted ^_^
MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FILTHY ANIMALS!~
Alarm bells rang in her head. Leo's eyes flew open and she shot up, wincing with a silent curse as her bruises made themselves known. Right, no sudden movements. When the drumline stopped banging the inside of her cranium, Leo opened her eyes to look around.
It was early morning. The morning birds were just beginning their songs, and beside the symphony of crickets and the unpleasant sound of dwarf snoring, nothing seemed out of place. The sun was dawning in the east, the sky blushing with pink and orange hues. Dew gathers on the tips of leaves and grass blades, moisture heavy in the air. A chilly wind picked up only to die down a moment later.
Still, her instincts warned her something was coming.
"Something bothers you?" Gandalf's voice interrupted her musings. He walked up behind her, gazing intently in the same direction as she.
Leo narrowed her eyes as she focused her attention northwest of their position. In one slow, graceful movement, she knelt down to the grass, balancing on her toes. One arm reached out to place itself in the damp grass, and Leo closed her eyes, concentrating.
"There is movement." Leo informed Gandalf quietly as she stood back up. "Whatever it is, it is moving fast and gaining speed. It's heading straight towards us."
"Should we wake the others?" Gandalf asked her.
Tilting her head, the woman waited for the breeze to pick up again before inhaling deeply. She wrinkled her nose in confusion. "I smell… rabbits? But not natural rabbits… They are touched by magic."
Gandalf's face suddenly alighted with amusement. "Ah. Then we have nothing to worry about! From the sound of it, that is my good friend Ra –"
"Wargs!" Leo interrupted in a hissed whisper, her eyes narrowing as she sniffed the air again. "A pack of wargs just came into range of my senses! Wake the company!"
But before either of them could make a move, a curious character raced towards them from the tree line on… By the Valar, was that a bunny-pulled sleigh? Aaaaand it was careening straight towards her. Time seemed to slow as the sleigh hurtled in the direction of Leo. Gandalf though for a moment that the poor woman would be run over, but then something else curious happened.
Leo made eye contact with the rabbits, and the little creatures seemed to balk in fear at the sight of her, taking a sudden turn to avoid coming close to her position. The man upon the sleigh let out a comical yelp as his mounts took an unexpected turn, throwing him off the sleigh.
The previous sleigh-driver leapt up, "Wait, come back!" And ran off to chase his bunny-sleigh. Leo shared a confused glance with Gandalf. However they returned their attentions when the crazy man managed to wrangle his rabbits (haha alliteration bitch) and drove them back to the clearing.
"Oh where was I?" The man muttered under his breath as he approached Gandalf, only Leo able to hear him due to her heightened senses.
"Is there something wrong, my old friend?" Gandalf posed.
"Oh right!" The man snapped his fingers. Then he began to hop from one foot to the next, pulling on his hair and beard. "Thieves! Murderers!"
As if he wasn't three feet in front of them. Gandalf and Leo both closed their eyes with deadpan expressions, bracing themselves as his voice boomed in their ears. Standing right here dammit!
The commotion woke the company, and soon dwarves were jumping up (some in their underclothes... Leo closed her eyes and tried to erase the unsavory images from her mind), pulling various sharp and pointy objects from under their blankets and pillows in alarm. They glanced around wildly as the clearing was suddenly filled with their demanding of what the hell was going on. So much for stealth.
"Oi, Gloin!" someone called (it sounded like Bifur), "Put some clothes on! No one wants to see that!"
"Hey, who's the crazy old guy?" Oh very eloquent Fili.
"Who dares disturb my rest?!" Dwalin demanded, holding up his maul angrily.
"Quiet down, ye drama queen!" Oin grumped.
"What is going on?!" Thorin's voice roared over the complaining dwarves, making his way over to Gandalf and the newcomer.
Leo scowled at the loud dwarves; ruining a perfectly nice morning! She glanced to the dwarf nearest her, who was blessedly silent, although he was carefully studying the area around them for any sign of danger. Let's see, what was his name again? Funky hat, pickaxe…
"Bofur?" Leo asked hopefully.
The dwarf turned to her with a polite smile. "Oh, well good mornin' to ye, lassie!"
She returned the smile, glancing down at his weapon of choice. Her eyebrows rose. "Do you always fight with a pickaxe, master dwarf?"
Bofur grinned. "Aye. It is the symbol of my profession and an unexpected weapon on the battlefield. Not many know how to defend themselves against the common pickaxe!"
Leo chuckled at that. "You have a point, sir dwarf."
Leaving Bofur to begin packing his things, Leo turned her head to see Thorin walk over to where she and Gandalf were speaking to the man dressed in… shrubbery.
"Please, Radagast!" Gandalf placed a firm but calming hand on the man's shoulder. "Calm yourself!" Then the gray wizard turned to Thorin and Leo. "My friends, this is a fellow wizard. His name is Radagast the Brown, guardian of the wild places."
"Oh, oh, oh!" Radagast turned to them with shining eyes. "New people! Oh I haven't met others in so long! Pleased to meet thee!" The brown wizard did an odd jump and landed in a bow. When he straightened, his eyes locked on Leo and he gave a loud gasp.
"Oh!" He zoomed over to Leo, invading very personal space. The woman blinked as the wizard's face was suddenly right in front of her. She jumped back a little in surprise, but the wizard took small steps forward so that he could keep his face five unnecessary inches in front of her. His eyes flickered over her face and body, not in a lecherous way, but like a scholar studied a peculiar dissection. Leo wasn't sure which one was worse.
"Er, excuse me?" Leo growled, her shock turning into annoyance. "Can I help you?"
Radagast clapped his hands merrily and in the blink of an eye was zooming straight back over to Gandalf, invading his personal space as well (however the other wizard was used to this from Radagast). "Oh where did you find her, Gandalf?" He gasped, practically with stars in his eyes. "Such a rare creature! Quite marvelous! And in such shape and form! Oh I wish I could have one!"
Coming back to herself, Leo clenched her hands into fists and growled. "Oi! I'm right here! Don't talk about me as if I'm an object!"
"Oh no, no, no, dear!" Radagast zoomed right back to her, making placating gestures with his hands (so much zooming; he was making the other dwarves quite dizzy). "I did not mean to anger you! Oh now I've done it!" The brown wizard stomped his foot in self-irritation.
"Radagast!" Gandalf interrupted, huffing in annoyance. "I was under the impression that something was terribly wrong! Why are you here, and why are you in such distress?"
Taking a deep breath and opening his mouth as if to release a tirade of words, Radagast paused. His eyes squinted in confusion and his pursed his lips. "Oh what was it? Oh why do I always forget the important things?"
Leo groaned and smack her face into her palm.
"OH!" Radagast gasped in delight. "I got it! It's on the tip of my tongue…" Opening his mouth and sticking the aforementioned muscle out of his mouth, Radagast retrieved a rather large stick-bug from atop said tongue.
"Sauron's bloody testicles!" Leo yelped at the sight, feeling her stomach drop and looking away in disgust, joining several other dwarves and one hobbit in making gagging noises.
Radagast recovered quickly, smiling as if pleased to be rid of the bugger (heh, get it?). "Gandalf!" He cried out, making everyone jump at his sudden distress. "A pack of wargs is headed this way!"
The company froze, and then everyone scrambled.
"Radagast!" Gandalf scolded. "That was the first thing that you should have said!"
Suddenly the clearing was a flurry of movement as the dwarves hurried to pack their things. Poor Bilbo just stood behind Gandalf, lookin oh-so-confused. Finally Leo walked over to the frozen hobbit and dragging him back to his bedroll, leaving the wizards to converse among themselves.
"I hesitate to ask," Bilbo began as Leo pointed at his bedroll in a silent command, and he began rolling it up, "But what are wargs?"
Leo's did not look up as she helped Bilbo pack his things. "Imagine wolves. Now imagine them twice as large. Now image giant wolves that must put up with the foul odor of orcs everyday. Plus rabies." Leo smiled at Bilbo and handed him his traveling pack. "Giant grumpy rabid wolves. And orc friends."
Bilbo stared at Leo in horror. The woman chuckled and patted him on the head as she stood. "Keep your sword at hand, little one."
"Thorin!"
Gandalf's booming voice drew everyone's attention as the tall wizard stomped up to the exiled king. "Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin?"
Thorin looked offended. "No one!"
Gandalf swore under his breath.
"What?" Thorin asked him. "What is it?"
A haunting howl echoed across the distance, sending a chill down their spines. Gandalf looked at Thorin with a heavy gaze.
"Warg scouts." Leo announced unnecessarily. She turned to gaze at the rest of the company. "An orc pack approaches us."
"You are being hunted." Gandalf informed Thorin.
Leo furrowed her brows. Assuming that none of the men with them had betrayed their king –and as much as she disliked dwarves, she would never doubt their loyalty –then how did the orcs know of their location? She would have noticed if anyone were following them (and promptly would have disposed of them).
'I haven't sensed any spies.' Leo's mind-voice informed Gandalf. 'I do not understand how they know where we are.'
Regardless, we must leave. There is a place not far from here that will provide us shelter. Gandalf replied.
Leo froze. No, absolutely not!
Imladris is the safest solution! Gandalf insisted.
'I refuse to go anywhere near Rivendell!' Leo snapped, silently glaring at the wizard over the heads of dwarves and a hobbit. Another howl cut through the air, this time closer.
I am afraid we do not have a choice. Gandalf told her grimly.
Leo scowled. 'I'd rather take my chances with the orcs.'
Why do you detest the elves? Gandalf asked her.
'Vile, blood-sucking vegetarians!'
Gandalf blinked. That makes no sense…?
'Shut up, I don't need you contradicting me right now. I'm in a conflicted state of mind.' Should she just take her chances with the orcs or face the pointy-eared pansies?
But that makes no –
'I conflicted dammit! Don't patronize me!'
Bilbo wondered why Gandalf was staring at Leo as if she were insane. He also wondered why Leo was stomping on innocent flowers.
Crack? What crack? *looks away innocently* Anyway, a huge thanks to all of my readers! Read and Review!
~Lilithia
