Because of Him

Draco arrived at Malfoy manor to be greeted with complete silence, yet his immediate fear for his family was pushed aside as he rushed to the kitchens, hoping to enjoy a meal in peace before he was to be subjected to the endlessness that was his parents.

Once in the kitchens, however, halfway through his kidney pie, the worry came back. You couldn't just pop into a wizard's house unnoticed; either his parents were gone or they were present and simply ignoring his arrival. His insides burned a bit at that, compelling him leave his food as is and commence search.

Only a floor up, sitting in the study, was his mother. She didn't stir until he announced himself, and even then she seemed startled. Surprised even. How could that be, hadn't they been anticipating his return home? Was his mother not bothered about his well being?

Draco walked towards her, "Hello mother. Were you not aware of my pending arrival today? After my time with that disgusting werewolf?" He questioned heatedly, still perplexed at his mother's unusual behavior. Why was she not coddling him?

"Oh of course, Draco! I just dozed off a bit. I've had trouble sleeping lately…well, you understand!" She still hadn't risen from her seat, offered any comfort, not even in words. A dull twist of his stomach squashed his previous anger. There had to be something wrong, perhaps something had happened while he was away.

"Is everything alright? Where's father? Has something happened?" His questions came to quickly, giving himself away. He tried to calm himself, didn't want to look a fool in front of his mother, what if something had happened and he stood reacting like a fearful child?

"Everything is fine, darling. Go say hello to your father, he's in the library. I'll see you at dinner. Give me time to freshen up." And with that she got up and walked past him, almost quickly, and was in the hall before he could think of a response.

Shocked and a little worried by his mother's strange, seemingly disinterested behavior, he headed to his room having no wish to be confronted by his father. He walked steadily, with fake assuredness that wasn't quite convincing, even to him.

With a groan, Draco sat up. He had been lounging on his bed, trying desperately not to think about anything, but had failed dismally. The tiny house elf left as soon as he had responded to its announcement of dinner. He still didn't wish to see his father; to suffer the stony silence that would be dinner, but knew he had no choice.

"So, Draco, how is Greyback?" His father inquired with a lack of real interest, only making conversation due to, Draco assumed, his wife's presence.

Draco thought for a moment, trying to decide what his father would like to hear. That he hated the whole ordeal, wanted out of all this desperately? Or that things hadn't changed much, but Greyback was doing just fine and he sends his greetings?

No, neither would do. He compromised with a mixture of the two, "Not much is going on, at least not that I know of. I try to spend as little time in Greyback's company as possible."

His father nodded as though he understood perfectly, which he actually might. Draco couldn't think of a single person who would enjoy the creature's company. His stomach uncoiled a bit; his father seemed in a decent enough mood.

He decided to press his luck, "Father, has the Dark Lord said anything of my removal from Greyback's…eh, disposal?" Draco tensed as his father's head shot up at the mention of their master. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut.

"You are lucky the Dark Lord has been so merciful. It would be unwise to be seen as ungrateful," his father almost spit the word, "when he has been so forgiving." His father's relatively apathetic mood had vanished; Draco peeked at his mother, she was staring intently at the table, eyes unblinking.

He regretted bringing up the Dark Lord, any mention of him usually made his life more difficult and sometimes made his dad unbearable, but he had hoped that he would have been ridden of the creature by now. Anger bubbled up again, but he tried to suppress it, knowing it would not be in his best interest to add fuel to his father's already burning fire.

"You had the chance to redeem us, Draco." His father was looking at him coldly. Draco swallowed, he knew what was coming. He wished he could sink into the floor, or run to his room. Curl up in bed. "You had a chance, possibly our only chance, and you failed. And why?" He paused, as if expecting an answer.

Draco merely shrugged, not knowing what else to do. "I'm sorry father, I tried…I-" His father cut him off, giving him a deathly glare, one he had learned to fear.

"You tried? How pathetic, how weak, Draco. Yes, weak. You had Dumbledore corned, wandless, completely under your control and you couldn't do it. You were too weak. A coward." Hearing his father voice all his misgiving, everything he himself had been thinking…Draco tried to tell himself that his father didn't mean what he was saying, he was just angry.

But the voice in the back of his head shouted 'No Draco, you failed. You failed your mother and father. You failed the Dark Lord. You proved what everybody had already known. You are weak, Draco.' Draco stood, he needed to be alone. He refused to cry like a child, he would not succumb to such emotions again, but he needed to be alone, to think.

But his father was not finished. "What kind of son are you, ruining the family name. We Malfoys deserve respect, we should be feared. Not mocked behind our backs. How could you let-" Draco let out a strangled sound. The blood had rushed to his face.

"How could I let our reputation be ruined? Me? I was not the one who failed at the Ministry, not the one who…" Draco faltered, his father had also risen. And with a look in his eyes that sometimes haunted Draco's dreams, his father came towards him.

Draco leaned in closer to the mirror. His chest was bear. He had nearly stripped everything upon entering the bathroom. Only his reflection stopped him.

Draco gave a humorless laugh; 'my father', he though. Because of him I was given a task the Dark Lord considered nearly impossible; I was expected to fail. And for my father I worked so very hard to succeed, to please the Dark Lord and restore my father's position. And yet he was the reason the mirror reflected an angry, red welt across my left cheek. Because of him.

Draco closed his eyes and bowed his head, wishing with all his might he were someone else.