After leaving Beth at the restaurant, Daryl reluctantly drove back toward the fairgrounds. He knew Merle would be trashed by now and ready to start trouble at the slightest provocation. It made him tired just thinking about it.
Daryl had hope for Merle changing his ways after he got out of prison. When he visited his older brother at the state pen, Merle was looking forward to getting out. He seemed excited about the prospect of getting involved with this carnival work and building something for the future. That positive outlook lasted about three months once he was outside the bars.
He started having a beer after work and on the weekend then one turned into a couple. His happy hour just kept getting longer and longer. Pretty soon, Merle was drinking from the time he woke up until he passed out. Daryl tried everything. He hid the liquor or pills but Merle always found them. He talked until he was worn out. He tried suggesting AA meetings which Merle found hilarious.
By the time they'd been working the carnival for 6 months, Daryl was running it by himself as well as trying to keep Merle from ending up back in a jail cell. He hated it. He never wanted to do this kind of work but he agreed to it for Merle's sake. His plan was to help Merle get it started and then leave and find work building custom motorcycles or just working in a repair shop. It didn't look like that was even a remote possibility anymore.
Even as discouraged as he'd become, he couldn't keep the grin off his face as he remembered that kiss with Beth. She was like something out of a dream. She was pretty, but that wasn't what set her apart. There were a lot of pretty small town girls that came and went. Beth was something special. She was smart and funny and she cared so much for other people. The fact that she was only 21 concerned him. Somehow when he was with her, it didn't matter at all but looking at it from a distance he could see the problems that would arise.
He pulled into the camper lot at the fairground and parked the truck. Merle was sitting on his lounge chair nursing a beer. At least ten empty cans were stacked next to him.
"Hey Darlina," Merle said as Daryl walked up. "I was wondering where you got off to. It's almost show time and I'm outta beer again. I had a little visit from the Candyman earlier(that's how Merle referred to his dealers) and I need a little booze to smooth it all out."
"I cain't take you till later, Merle," Daryl told him. "I got to check on a few things before we open. Give me an hour or so."
"The hell you say, boy? I ain't sitting on my thumb for an hour. You need to take me now. If you don't, I can drive myself. I know you don't exactly like for me to touch your piece of shit truck but I will if I have to," Merle threatened.
"I don't care what you do Merle except I been tryin' to keep you from getting' your ass arrested again," Daryl said angrily. "Go ahead, though, drive yourself. I don't give a shit anymore. I'm tired of carryin' you everywhere, runnin' this whole place by myself. Do you think this is what I want to for the rest of my life?"
Merle's jaw tightened and his face turned scarlet. "Boy I used to wipe your ass for you when you were just a snot nosed rug rat. I ain't takin' none of your lip. I been through a lot of shit that you don't know nothin' about. If I want a drink ever once in a while, it ain't nobody else's goddamn business," Merle yelled as he stood up and advanced on Daryl.
"You're a drunk and an asshole but you ain't my daddy, Merle, and you ain't gonna tell me what to do. You think the world owes you somethin' cause you had a lousy childhood. I was in that house for ten fuckin' years after you left. You think that was all rainbows and sunshine? You went to jail cause you're a simple minded piece of shit. You don't get to lay that at nobody else's feet," Daryl told him. By the time he finished talking he was shaking and out of breath. "Now, I'm goin' to work. Figure out how to get your own damn booze, " Daryl mumbled as he walked off.
Merle was shocked. He was used to Daryl grumbling a little maybe but he usually did whatever his big brother wanted. "What's got you so fired up today boy?" Merle yelled after his brother. "You get some last night or maybe this afternoon, huh? Is that it? Got a little nookie and now you think you're a man? Well, if she laid down for you son she cain't be much. Any piece of tail worth doin' usually runs the other way when they get a look at your skinny ass." He was laughing as he spoke.
Daryl stopped in his tracks and turned around. He walked quickly back toward Merle and without missing a beat punched him squarely in the face. Merle fell back and landed half on his lounge chair. He was so shocked that he couldn't even speak for a minute.
"What the fuck did you do that for?" Merle whined.
"Don't talk shit like that to me again," Daryl warned. "I don't care how drunk or high you are. You keep your comments about me and my life to yourself."
"Okay, okay. I was just jokin'. Come on now brother, cain't you take a joke no more?" Merle asked.
"No, I cain't. I'm fuckin' tired of jokes and lies and all the shit I put up with from you," Daryl told him. "Now I'm goin' to work. You got anything else you want to say to me?"
"Get out o' here, then," Merle whined. "Go on. I don't need nothin' from you."
"Good," was all Daryl said as he turned and walked out toward the main drag.
Daryl felt a little guilty for hitting his brother. He'd never done that before, but his comments about 'a piece of tail' just hit Daryl the wrong way. He didn't want anything to tarnish the memory of the afternoon he shared with Beth.
He walked toward the wheel to check the set up. The young redneck Bobby something or other was working it tonight. As he walked up, Daryl could hear Bobby on his cellphone with someone.
"Yeah, man. She asked me to drive her out to the lake and we got down right in the backseat of her car. She brought her own rubbers, dude. The chicks in this town are freaky. Oh, and she's got this little blonde friend that's kinda shy but I bet she'd let you in those Levis with a little sweet talk. You know what I'm sayin'?" Bobby was talking to his friend, not noticing that his boss had just walked up. "She was talking to the boss man the other night. You remember her? I don't know if she's bangin' him. She won't be with him long though. He's a total pussy, lets his older brother treat him like shit all the time. She don't look like the type to go for that. She's gon' need a man between those thighs, son."
Daryl grabbed the boy's shoulder and jerked him around. Bobby paled several shades and quickly ended his call.
"You talkin' shit about me?" Daryl asked angrily.
"Nah, man. It ain't like that. Just talkin' 'bout the ladies, you know?" Bobby stammered.
"I tell you what, MAN," Daryl said. "We don't need you on this carnival anymore. You can pick up your last paycheck on Friday but as of right now, you're off the clock permanently."
"That's cool," Bobby bluffed in an effort to save face. The other workers at the nearby rides had started to watch what was going on. "This place is a dump anyway. I can make more money flippin' burgers at the Krystal."
Daryl rolled his eyes and cross his arms. The kid was working up the courage to act badass.
" And just so you know, I WAS talkin' about you. Everybody knows how your drunk ass brother has you steppin' and fetchin' like his personal slave. You need to grow a pair bro, " Bobby bluffed just before he spat a long brown stream of tobacco juice toward Daryl's feet.
Daryl actually pulled his fist back and the kid flinched. It would be so easy to just punch him in the face, maybe break his nose or at the very least leave him with a shiner to have to explain. Instead, Daryl took a deep breath and dropped his fist back to his side. "Get off this property NOW. If I see you again, I can promise you that I will make you regret it," he advised loudly then watched as the teenager made a hasty retreat toward the parking lot..
Daryl knew the little prick would shoot his mouth off to look tough and cool for his friends. It didn't matter what they said, though, or what they thought of the Dixon brothers. Daryl heard it all before. All he could do was keep working, keep trying. Maybe one day, things would turn around. He just hoped he wouldn't be too old to care if it ever did.
Firing Bobby meant Daryl was stuck working the wheel all night. As a carnival worker, he became fairly invisible to the people he let on and off the ride. Because they didn't notice him, he got to listen to their gossip and hear their snarky comments. Guys always seemed to be talking about sex, who was giving it up and who they'd gotten it from. Girls, on the other hand, were usually talking about other girls, who was being slutty or who was frigid. Her heard one girl say something about a friend of hers "slumming it" with a redneck dude who worked at the fair. It felt like a slap to his face. Were they talking about him and Beth? No one knew about them, at least as far as he was aware. Even if their conversation was about someone else, it fit the situation exactly.
Beth was too good for him. He knew it the first time he saw her. She liked him but he was sure it was just an infatuation with the whole bad boy persona that people expected carnies to have. Even as he thought that, however, he knew it wasn't true. Beth wasn't like that. Still, though, if people knew they were seeing each other, what would they say? It wouldn't be good.
On top of that Beth was at a point in her life where everything was on the brink of taking off. She was about to graduate from college. She had plans to go to Nashville. He hadn't heard her sing but she must be talented if she was performing a solo with the choir. He had no right to get in her way and keep her from doing all the things she dreamed of. And there was no way that his messy life could do anything but get in her way.
He liked her, a lot . He felt different with her. She really listened to him. His life didn't suck when she was around. And God, she was hot. That kiss had nearly done him in. He was absolutely ragingly hard when he finally broke away from her. He wished he could have just laid her down on the grass right then and there and made her feel what he was feeling. He could imagine her tight little body moving beneath him. He realized his thoughts were about to cause some physical problems to arise so he quickly focused on the rather large couple that sat eating turkey legs at the picnic table next to the ferris wheel. It worked as well as a cold shower.
Beth wanted to see him tomorrow. He knew he shouldn't go. The best thing would be just forget about her before things got out of hand, but he needed to see her again. Besides, if he didn't go she'd show up at the carnival to find out why and he didn't want to have everyone knowing their business. Truly, though, he just wanted to see again even if it was for the last time.
Tomorrow had to be the end, though. No matter what, he had to break things off with Beth. If he didn't, she was going to get hurt or maybe get tired of him. He didn't want that to happen so it was up to him to put a stop to this.
The big wheel came slowly to halt again and he watched as another starry eyed couple walked away hand in hand. He wondered if any of them realized how good they had it. The worst thing that a lot of them ever faced was getting grounded by mommy and daddy. When he was their age, getting knocked to the ground wasn't unusual.
Beth was like them. She wasn't shallow or superficial like most of these kids but she had the same kind of life they did. She had her daddy who watched out for her and an older sister who was successful and caring. Her childhood probably mirrored the sitcoms that he and Merle used to watch while their parents lay passed out from a night of drinking. How could she understand the bond he had with his brother, the reason that he felt he owed Merle?
Merle took the beatings meant for him until he couldn't stand any more. Up until Daryl was about six, the worst he got from his old man was an open hand across the mouth. Merle would step in if their father started getting rough with his younger son. Daryl could remember many nights that Merle suffered black eyes or split lips that should have been his. After Merle left home, Daryl had to take his own beatings but at least by that time he was old enough to survive them. Merle taught him to be tough and it saved his life more than once. How could you turn your back on someone who'd done that?
When the fair shut down for the night, he headed for the trailer figuring Merle would be passed out as usual. When he walked in, the trailer was empty. Merle wasn't around. Daryl started to go out and look for him but instead he just collapsed into the bed. If Merle got arrested, the cops would come by or call. If he was shacked up with some woman, he'd be home in the morning. If he split and left Daryl with this mess, then fuck him. Whatever his brother was doing, Daryl just didn't have the energy to care.