By now you can probably guess what happened-- the lights went up, the theme music blared and the audience cheered. The host for this week strolled onto the stage, glanced at his cue cards then flashed a disarming smile at the crowd.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," he said, "And welcome to 'The Truth Hurts', formerly 'False or Falser', which was formerly 'The Good, The Bad, and The Goofy', originally The Unpredictable Game Show. I'm your host, Ootori Kyouya, and let's welcome our guests to the show, shall we?" This suggestion was met with enthusiastic applause, and Kyouya raised an eyebrow. "Mumbo Jumbo," he said, and with a poof of smoke, two teams appeared in the contestant boxes.
On one side, five heroes blinked anxiously. Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg and Raven each stared in confusion at the handsome, bespectacled young man before them. "Where are we?" Robin finally demanded.
"You're exactly where you're supposed to be," Kyouya replied calmly. "Welcome," he said disarmingly, his mouth turning up in a bit of a smile.
Starfire and Raven hadn't looked this enthralled since the time they'd first met Aqualad.
"So what are we doing here?" Robin demanded angrily, wishing Star would snap out of it.
"You're in an alternate dimension to play in a game show," Kyouya answered smoothly.
"Why?" Robin growled.
"Because you are," Kyouya answered. "I didn't ask to host any more than you asked to compete, so let's try and be reasonable," he 'suggested', giving the Titan his famous 'demon lord' glare.
Robin drew back. "Sure," He murmured weakly.
"Now then, Sophie, Howl, Michael, Calcifer, Lettie… welcome," he smiled.
"What are we supposed to do?" Howl asked.
"It's quite simple, really," Kyouya answered. "I give you a true or false question about yourself, or a member of your team. You may answer true or false, but it you answer truthfully, you receive a punishment."
"What?!" Robin cried. "Why?!"
"Sometimes, the Truth Hurts," Kyouya answered. "Now please stop pestering. I've explained the rules, and Howl's up first."
"I am?" Howl asked.
"Yes. Now then, True or False-- Sophie has never gone crazy with weed killer."
"True," Howl answered.
"What?!" Sophie cried. "But I have!"
"Ah, but he didn't answer truthfully, and that was the point," Kyouya said appreciatively. "You catch on fast," He complimented Howl. "Now then, Robin."
"What?" Robin grumbled.
"You and Starfire are just friends. True or False?"
"True. No, False, no, wait…"
Kyouya smirked. "Double answers are not permitted." And then a trapdoor opened beneath Robin's feet.
"Aaaaugh!" He cried, falling.
"Sophie, you're next," Kyouya said.
"I'm not sure I want to compete," she said crossly. "This is very stressful for an old woman like myself."
"Ah yes, you are very old… but is that true or false?" Kyouya smirked.
Sophie frowned, talking to herself. "Well, I suppose on the outside I'm rather old, but inside I'm… but then, if that's false am I supposed to answer true? Oh, bother." She turned on Kyouya. "Don't confuse an old woman!" She bellowed.
"She might bring out the weed killer," Howl mumbled.
"Oh, you're one to talk, you and your green slime!" Sophie howled.
"I'll take that answer as 'true', which is actually false, which means you're correct," Kyouya interrupted.
"I think I lost you back at the answer part," Beast Boy mumbled.
"Aw, shaddup," Calcifer snorted.
"As long as I got the question right, who cares about you?" Sophie demanded irritably, glaring at both of them.
Kyouya cleared his throat. "Starfire, it's your turn," he said, politely ignoring the glazed look in her eyes as she ogled in his direction. "True or False-- Beast Boy is a Clorbag Barblarnelk."
Starfire frowned. "True," she finally answered.
"What?" Beast Boy screeched.
"Since you answered true and we both know it's false, you're correct," Kyouya said.
"My brain hurts!" Beast Boy wailed.
"I'm sorry. Should I call the medics?" Kyouya asked, clearly sarcastic.
"What do we need medics for?" Raven asked.
"In case someone is mortally wounded because of the punishments," Kyouya answered, smirking again. "It's a good thing most of you have gotten the answers right." he glanced at where Robin used to stand. Then, shaking his head, he turned back to team Howl. "Now then, Michael, True or False-- Lettie pretended to be Martha."
"False," Michael said. "Which means true, which means I'm correct, right?"
"Not exactly," Kyouya answered, "I'm bored, so this is the bonus round where any answer means the opposite of what it's supposed to mean."
"Does that mean I got it wrong?" Michael gulped.
"No, it means I enjoy being in control, so I think I'll just send you to the snake pit," Kyouya replied, smirking.
"I'm confused," Beast Boy said.
"Shut up, please," Kyouya said pleasantly, pressing a button and smirking as the green shapeshifter fell through a trapdoor. Then, completely ignoring Michael, he turned to Raven. "Your turn," He said. "True or false-- Cyborg's power cells are running low right now."
Raven frowned. "I have no idea."
"That's not an answer, that's a statement. True or false?" Kyouya asked again, still smirking.
Raven frowned, glancing at Cyborg and back at Kyouya. "Umm… False."
"Raven, that was the wrong answer," Cyborg moaned, dropping his head in his hands.
"Actually, it was correct, because her answer was false, which normally would be true, but is false because this is the bonus round," Kyouya answered. "The bonus round is now over."
"Aww, my brain's goanna explode!" Cyborg cried.
"Lettie," Kyouya said, turning to Sophie's sister, "True or False-- Sophie is the oldest."
"True," Lettie answered, "Which means false which is true," She finished.
"The bonus round is over, I'm sorry," Kyouya said, sounding anything but. "And Michael, why aren't you in the snake pit?"
"I… um, don't know where it is," Michael answered.
"Too bad for you," Kyouya said, flicking a switch. Trapdoors fell open beneath both Lettie and Michael, who dropped with a shriek.
"You know, I'm rather sick of this. I think I'll call it a day," Kyouya muttered, glancing at the clock. Then, turning to the audience, he smiled once again. "Thanks once again for coming, join us next time for another Unpredictable Game Show, this has been The Truth Hurts, and never will be again, so I hope you enjoyed the show. Good night," He finished, bowing and striding offstage.
The lights flicked off, the audience disappeared, and moments later the contestants were whisked back to their world…