The next morning, I felt horrible. My head ached, my arms ached, and my heart ached. I knew it wasn't particularly healthy but I couldn't help but wallow in self pity. I had an excuse – it was a heck of birthday present I'd gotten, after all. Who wouldn't want to be attacked by the one they loved and then have that same person run away, possibly never to be seen again. Wasn't that everyone's dream?

I groaned and rolled over. After what had happened yesterday, I would give anything not to have to go to school. With Edward gone, I would be constantly worrying about him instead of focusing on my work I only hoped that I didn't get called on to answer any questions.

I grabbed some clothes from a pile by my bed and slipped into them. They were the ones I'd worn home yesterday but no one but Alice knew that and she wouldn't tell. Besides, it gave me inspiration to try to reproduce the look she'd given me last night. I smiled and went over to the window, pulling aside the curtain.

My shoulders slumped. I wouldn't be seeing Alice today, or Jasper. They ever came out when it was sunny. Oh well.

I went to the bathroom any way and played around with my hair until it was pulled back from my face and then applied some of my sparse makeup in the hopes of reproducing the look Alice had given me last night. Instead of the warm glow I'd been going for, I merely looked like a girl who'd put on some eyeshadow and lip gloss. I sighed. I did look nice, even if it hadn't been the look I was going for.

I went down stairs to find that my father had already left. It was time for me to leave, as well. I'd lost track of the time.

I slipped into my red truck, unused for so long, and headed off to school.

It wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. The comments from my friends ranged from belated 'happy birthdays', to compliments on my outfit, to jibes about me being the only person who could fall on a glass coffee table, smash it, and cut myself up in the process. These last were followed by hasty apologies when my lower lip quivered in mock sadness.

All in all, the day wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be though the Cullens' absence stuck like a barb in my mind.

The next day was the same. It was just as bright and just as lonely. I was anxious to get news of Edward but I knew that the Cullens couldn't come out in the sun. It was two dangerous for them.

I had more hope on the third day. Thick clouds were rolling in from the east and already there was a thin layer of clouds. All the same, when I got to school, nothing. I told myself that I was just getting impatient. They would come when it was safe. Maybe by then, Edward would have calmed down. That cheered me up some but it wasn't enough to calm my anxiety.

On Friday, I was relieved to see rain pouring down outside my window,, it was probably the one circumstance when I would be glad rather than pessimistic but I had reason. I would see Alice today, and maybe, just maybe, Edward. He wasn't in any of my classes but I kept hoping until I got to the cafeteria. They weren't there.

I felt as though I had been punched in the chest. What could be keeping them away? They couldn't be hiding from the sun still. Perhaps they had taken the opportunity presented by the thunder to play some baseball. Ridiculous. They were probably hunting. That had to be it. They didn't want to lose control so they went hunting.

That should have made me feel better but I couldn't silence the nagging voice at the back of my head that said, If they were going to hunt, why didn't they go over the past three days when they had all that free time.

"Jelly Belly, are you coming? They have lasagna today!" I looked up to see jess beckoning for me to come to where she waited in line.

"I'm coming!" I called.

"Are you okay?" she asked as I approached.

I shook myself. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

I didn't eat anything at lunch. I wasn't hungry.

On the weekend, I was hoping for something – even just a phone call – but there was nothing. Eventually I called Jess up and asked her if she knew anything. She was always the first person to know anything. I didn't know how she did it but it was like information went straight from the source to her lips in seconds. She hadn't heard anything either.

She assured me that it was probably nothing, that they had probably decided to take a prolonged camping trip. I let myself be comforted But I lay awake at night, contemplating what was going on. He had never been gone this long, except maybe when we had first met, but even then, the rest of his family had stayed behind.

On Monday, I came to school armed with a new theory – and the hope that it was wrong and I would see them, specifically Edward. Doubtless they had wanted to make Edward's appearance seem more normal by passing it off as a family trip to somewhere. They weren't there but I hadn't really expected them to be. After school, I visited Mrs. Cope and asked her if she knew anything. She said only that she wasn't sure where they were but she didn't expect them back particularly soon. That worried me. I was fine with waiting as long as I had to, but surely I deserved some warning. Surely they would communicate with me. It didn't seem fair to simply abandon me like this.

That night I asked my father if he knew anything. He frowned and sat in his chair at the table looking at me with a concerned expression on his face. He was silent for a long moment and then he said, "Look, Bells, I didn't want to tell you this – seeing as how close you were and all – but..." he shifted uncomfortably in his seat and let out a puff of air. "The Cullens left – they moved away. Carlisle got a job offer down in LA – short notice – and they had to leave right away. He said he didn't want any big goodbyes so he didn't tell many people and he asked us to keep it quiet."

I gasped and choked on the air running through my lungs. I could hardly breath – could hardly see. I swallowed heavily. "When?" I asked.

"Wednesday. Bells, didn't your, uh, Edward say anything?"

I shook my head mutely. It was so obvious. How could I not have seen? They wanted to protect me and to protect their secret – two things that were put at great risk by my interaction with them. But that didn't matter before.

I pushed myself away from the table numbly. My throat ached with restrained weeping and my eyes burned with unshed tears. "I'm going to bed," I choked out.

"Bells, are you sure? There's still dessert."

I shook my head. "Sorry, Dad. I'm not hungry." I started toward the stairs.

I couldn't think, couldn't see, couldn't breathe. Edward was gone – probably for good – and the rest of his family with him. I had been cut off from his world as thoroughly as if I had died – more thoroughly, considering. Gone with him, was any hope I might have of immortality. Of course, what was the point of having forever without someone to share it with?

I would have shared it with Edward, if I could. I had thought he felt the same. Apparently, I was wrong. Did I mean so little to him that he would just leave without a word? I had thought that what we had was more than that, but perhaps that was simply selfishness, me turning a passing fancy into undying love. If that were the case, the fancy had passed with Edward, leaving me behind and I had never felt so alone.

You said you'd never leave me. You lied. I curled up on my bed and tried to drown my thoughts in tears.

It didn't work, or at least, it only worked to the extent that I fell asleep. From there, things only got worse.

I was standing in the glade where Edward had shown me the sun's effect on his skin. He stood near me, the sun turning his skin into glistening crystal. He smiled

"Edward," I called. I ran toward him.

He held out his hand and I looked down into it. It held a single rose. "Be safe," he warned me.

"As long as you stay!" I said, taking the rose and throwing my arms around him.

Behind him was a line of people: Charlie, Jessica, Mike, Alice, Renee, and other familiar faces, watching solemnly. I pulled away from him, confused.

"I'll never leave you," said Edward, and I looked down as the rose in my hand turned into a pool of blood that dripped onto the Cullens' marble floor. I'd cut myself! I pulled my hand into my chest to hide it so that he wouldn't see. I looked up at him anxiously and saw that his eyes were as red as the blood on my hand.

"Don't go," I said anxiously as he turned away from me.

"Of course," he agreed, but he continued to walk away from me.

I looked at the people behind him, glancing from face to face, trying to find someone who would help me. None of them responded. I looked back at Edward but he was gone. It was as though he'd never been.

"Come back!" I wailed, but he didn't come back. Instead,the crowd of people watching all turned and walked away, one by one. I looked around frantically but I was alone. Not a single person remained in the clearing besides me.

I collapsed onto the ground and a wind rose up around me. The wind increased until it swelled almost into a hurricane. Finally, I felt myself collapse into dust, blown away by the wind and forgotten.

I didn't want to go to school the next day. I didn't even want to get up, but it felt as though that would be giving in – giving in to mourning, giving into loss, giving in to Edward. He had taken so much of me with him when I went, but I was still here. I wouldn't give in.

I drove to school in something of a stupor, unable to truly comprehend what had happened. Jess was waiting for me as I pulled into the school parking lot, bouncing on her toes. She ran up to my truck as soon as it had stopped moving.

"Hey, Jess," I said as I got out of the car.

"Hi, Bells. Anyway, you won't believe it. I got news on the Cullens..." she trailed off. "But by the looks of things, you've already heard."

"Maybe," I said, "but tell me anyway." Perhaps she would say something that would make their actions less painful.

"Okay. So anyway, you know how my mom owns this coffee shop? Yeah? So she was there on Sunday and in walks this woman – a friend of hers or a room mate or something who she hadn't seen in, like, years. So they got talking and stuff and my mom was like, 'we should get together' and then her friend was like, 'yeah, let's have dinner'. So my parents and her went out for dinner at Landings which is this nice restaurant down in Port Angeles. They didn't take me, of course -" she rolled her eyes "- but that's okay cause I raided the freezer and had pizza and ice cream and watched movies – like Watchmen which just came out in March and it was amazing – and anyway I had fun. Well my mom told me about the dinner when she got back and it turns out that this friend is coming to work at the hospital here in Forks 'cause there was a job opening – seriously, my mom didn't even know her friend had become a doctor - and so it turns out that the Dr. Cullen got, like, this huge paying job offer down in L.A. Now I guess Carlisle doesn't like to move around a lot or something cause he said he wouldn't have taken the job if he hadn't known one of the doctors at the hospital."

Normally I would have wondered how Jessica had gotten through that whole speech without gasping for breath at the end, but now I was too focused on another, more serious matter. I bit my lip. I wondered if Carlisle's acquaintance was a real friend – doubtless a vampire like himself – or simply a cover story. I supposed it didn't really matter since it wouldn't change anything either way.

"Yeah, I heard. My dad told me last night," I said.

"Oh. Well, that sucks – I mean that they left, not that your dad told you. No wonder your so down."

I smiled weakly.

"But... didn't he tell you anything before... well, before he left? Edward, I mean."

I shook my head. "I guess he must have been in a bit of a hurry to pack." If only that were true. If that were the real reason he hadn't even bothered to say goodbye.

"Boys." Jessica rolled her eyes again. "They'll be all kinds of sweet and loving as long as they're having fun, and then the minute they're bored, they think they'll just toss you away like an old toy."

That made me angry. I wanted to defend myself and Edward. I wanted to tell her that she didn't understand how we felt about each other, even though I knew, now, that she was right. I forced a laugh. "And, no, you are not bitter! Not at all!" I teased.

She pouted at me. "Oh, come on, Bella. Mike was never serious, and neither was I." She sniffed.

I smiled, feeling a touch of true humour at our playful banter. "I'm sorry. But really, he might just not have had time. Guys are just as concerned with their looks as we girls are, they're just afraid to admit it."

Jessica glanced around and started pulling me towards the building where we had our first class. "Look, tell you what. Look, I know I've been officially single for over a month, so I almost over my mourning period, but why don't you and I go out for ice cream later and we can lament our singlehoodedness."

"I don't know."

"It'll make you feel better, believe me. If you want, we can invite Angela. I know she's perfectly happy on her own but she still makes good company."

"I don't actually have a choice, do I?"

Jessica grinned impishly. "No. But don't worry. It'll be fun."

I was saved from having to make a decision just then when the teacher cleared his throat and Jessica and I had to stop talking and turn our attention to our work. I managed to escape the class without answering Jessica simply by sneaking away while she was distracted. It wasn't that I did want to talk to her, it was just that I knew I couldn't talk to her without being forced to give her an answer and I was still of two minds about that. I had never been good at making decisions.

Fortunately I didn't have any other classes so I wouldn't have to decide until I lunch. Unfortunately, I hadn't realized how much better I felt while I was in her company until she had already disappeared behind a crowd of students. She let me take my mind of the pain that had taken a solid grasp around my heart. My tears of the night before had helped, but they had simply suppressed the pain temporarily. My heart had broken and it seemed no amount of tears would heal it.

By the time I saw Jessica and Angela at lunch, I was desperate for their company and I had decided that Jessica's idea was a good one. We eventually decided that we would take Jess's car down to Port Angeles and go to the Dairy Queen there. I didn't think I would mind the hour long drive so long as it kept my mind off my aching heart.

After school, as we were getting ready to go, I heard Jess call my name excitedly.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Bella I found this by your locker!" She hadn't me a clean white envelope – at least, as clean as an envelope could be that had been on the floor of a high school. On the front, my name was written in Edward's elegant, old-fashioned script.

"Do you think it's from him?" Jess asked, peering over my hands.

I nodded, not wanting to speak.

"Well, open it. Maybe he gave it to one of his friends to give to you. Maybe he really couldn't possibly talk to you himself."

I nodded again, though I didn't agree. Edward didn't have friends here, nor had he ever expressed the desire to have them. He had probably come himself. He had been here and I had missed him.

"What are you waiting for?" Jess seemed more excited about it than I was.

I bit my lip and pulled out the fine white paper inside. It read:

Bella,

I apologize for any inconvenience that my family and I have caused you by our decision to leave but our actions were necessary. My relationship with you has become too much of a risk for both of us and I fear it had to be ended before any negative consequences sprung from it. I realize that you may not be pleased with the action that I have decided to take which is why I did not consult you beforehand. There is no other possible course.

Please, do not try to contact us or otherwise risk our exposure or your safety. We had your best interests at heart when we made our decision. Be careful. Be safe.

Sincerely,

Edward

There was no way that this letter was from who it said it was from. I read Edward's name at the bottom but it was impossible that my Edward – the Edward to whom I had given my heart and spent the last few months of my life with, the Edward who was so full of energy and life, the Edward who had saved my life last spring, the Edward who watched over me while I slept and played lullabies written only for me – had written these cold, heartless words.

I crumpled the letter in my fist. I'd burn it when I got home – both to make sure that no one else would see it, and in the hope that if I got rid of it, I could forget about it.

"That bad, huh?" Jess' sympathy was clear in her voice and face.

I didn't say anything but I gratefully leaned into her as she pulled me into a hug.

"It'll be okay," she murmured into my ear. "I'll see you later and we can talk about it then."

"Okay," I said. She patted me on the shoulder and disappeared down the hall. As I watched her, I wished that I could tell her about it, but when your 'it' was a vampire, there was only so much you could say without attracting their negative attention.

Biting back hot tears, I stuffed the letter in my pocket and walked out into the freezing rain.