Chapter 3

4 years previously

"Buffy! Phone!"

Buffy ran to the phone, worried that Dawn would say something to embarrass her. She came into the kitchen and found Dawn smiling as she leaned on the counter. She had the phone to her face and was talking pleasantly.

Seeing her sister, Dawn frowned. "Buffy's here, bye Dean," she said, her voice conveying her obvious disappointment at having to get off the phone.

"Aren't you meant to be meeting Riley?" Dawn asked in a half whisper.

Buffy ignored her, grabbing the phone and walking upstairs to her old room.

"Hello?"

"Kid sister still got a crush on me, huh?" Dean asked without preamble, laughter thick in his voice.

"You left quite the impression," Buffy said, half amused, half annoyed. "You haven't been in Sunnydale for a year and she's still wrapped around your finger."

Dean laughed loudly, "I can't help that I'm charming."

"Mmhmm, sure you can't," she replied, small smile on her face. "What have you been up to?"

"Dad and I just busted our ass two states over to find another hunter finished the case. Dad is fuming."

Buffy laughed, "No honour amongst hunters. Didn't they know it was your case?" She asked mockingly.

"Yeah, yeah, very funny, Buff. You don't have to put up with my dad's grumpy attitude for the next couple days."

"Sorry," She replied, with no real sincerity in it. "Have you spoken to Sam lately?"

Dean grew quiet, giving all the answer Buffy needed.

"What a little punk," She spat vehemently. "Ya know, Stanford isn't too far from here. I should go give him piece of my mind."

"No, don't," Dean replied seriously, "It's his choice. He wants to have a normal life, he can't have his freak brother hanging around. I get it. He calls when he can."

Buffy sighed, "That's not good enough. You're still family, he should call."

"He should, but he doesn't. Can we just drop it, please? Nothing I can do about it."

Dean thought he heard her mutter, "I could do something about it." He ignored it, moving the conversation onwards, "What's been going on in ol' Sunnydale, any big bads hanging about?"

"Nice deflection," Buffy replied sarcastically. She made a quick laugh, "Actually, I have a new arch enemy." She made the previous remark in a mocking conspiratorial tone.

"Oh? Do go on," Dean replied in the same tone of voice.

"Harmony," Buffy replied bluntly.

Dean was too shocked to reply.

"She formed her own crew to try and take me down."

A loud, full laugh erupted from Dean. It continued for a couple of minutes before dying down into little huffs, "I'm sorry, but the thought of bimbo barbie coming after you. It's just too funny."

Buffy gave a little chuckle, "Yeah I thought so too until she attacked the house. Anya was knocked out, and Dawn was taken hostage."

Dean's laughter ended as quickly as it started, "What? Are they okay? Dawn didn't mention it."

With a sigh, she replied, "She's probably embarrassed. I was pretty harsh on her when I found out. Dawn was the one who gave Harmony an invite to the house."

Dean swore, "She should know better than that."

"She should, but I was pretty full on. She scared the crap out of me."

"I get it," Dean replied. "Half the time I didn't know if I want to strangle or hug Sammy."

"Sucks being the older sibling," Buffy grumbled.

"Tell me about it," He agreed.

Buffy rolled over and looked at the clock beside her bed. She was meant to meet Riley fifteen minutes ago.

"I gotta go," She replied with a sigh, obviously disappointed. "We're going to look at apartments for Xander."

"Finally getting out of the basement? About time," He said with a chuckle, "Have fun, Princess. Can't get in too much trouble shopping for real estate."

Buffy laughed, "You'd hope so."

Dean was ordering another round, a beer for himself and some sort of fruity cocktail for the girl beside him. She was short, petit and blond. A type he found himself gravitating to lately. Rather than pursue the reason behind it, he turned a smile in her direction, and watched as she smiled back instantly in reaction.

Moving closer, Dean made to put an arm around the girl, when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. Seeing Buffy's name flash across the caller ID, Dean barely paid any mind as he made his excuses to the girl and left the bar. So quickly did he leave, he didn't notice the flash of disappointment come across her face.

"Hey there sweetheart, what's going on?" He asked as he answered the phone. Crawling into the Impala, he didn't notice his voice was slightly slurred.

"Are you drunk?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"A little," he admitted. "Just finished a hunt in Big Timber, Montana. Thought I'd check out the local bar, have a bit of celebration."

"What kinda hunt?"

"Your favourite," he replied in amusement, "vampires. Different kind though. No stake or dusting. It was strange."

"Huh," Buffy replied, "I didn't know they had different kinds."

"Me neither, but you learn something new every day."

"Tell me about it," Buffy replied with a defeated sigh.

Dean inebriated state caused him to feel and think more intensely. The tone of Buffy's voice, the wariness and worry made him sit up straight. "Are you okay?" He asked seriously.

"Yeah I am, but I'm not sure what to think right now."

"What's going on?"

With a deep sigh, Buffy started to explain, "I came across this old factory, right? Found this glowy ball. It was pretty, but whatever, I figured it could be something mystical. Giles did some digging, and found out it was meant to repel some unknown bad guy."

Dean grunted, "Seems handy if you know what the bad guy is."

"And now I do," Buffy replied sourly.

"Well, don't leave me hangin', what happened?"

"I went back to the warehouse, and found this monk. He was beat up pretty bad. Turns out he was being tortured by this woman."

"Woman?" Dean asked incredulously, "Like, a human woman?"

"She looked it, but she didn't punch like one," Buffy groused, feeling all her bruises in that moment, "She was super strong, like make me look weak, kinda strong."

"Damn," he replied, "That's pretty strong."

Buffy agreed, but kept going, "It gets worse."

"How?"

"I managed to get the monk out, barely. He told me the woman is after something. A Key. A mystical Key, he said. Him and his monk buddies were protecting it."

"A key to what?" Dean asked curiously.

"No clue. Either way, they decided they couldn't protect it anymore. They made the Key human. Sent it to me for protection."

"Wait, what?" Dean asked, confused as he was intrigued, "They made a human? Out of mystical key energy? That sounds like crazy talk. You sure this guy wasn't off his meds?"

"I'm sure," she replied gravely, "I did a spell. I saw what they created. They've altered my whole life."

Dean growled at comment about a spell, but quickly sobered as what she said sunk in, "What are you talking about, Buff?"

"No one knows," Buffy said, her voice low, "I wasn't sure what to say. The monk, he said, they made it into a teenage girl. An innocent, who doesn't know what she is, or where she came from, just a normal teenage girl."

"Dawn," Dean gasped out, "They made someone they knew you'd protect, no matter what."

"Bingo," Buffy replied sadly, "My annoying little sister. A mystical Key."

"Bastards," Dean grunted out, "Who do they think they are, messing with people's lives like this?"

"I don't know," she replied her voice down and defeated, "all I know is, I have to protect Dawn."

"Not much will change there."

"Except for some super bitch trying to find her."

"Except for that."

"Another day on the job," Buffy joked meekly.

"Yeah, Buff, another day," Dean replied, trying to keep jovial, but his drunken mind couldn't help the sadness in his voice from creeping in. He wanted so badly for Buffy to have the life she deserved. She should be in College, enjoying her life and having fun. Instead she had super powered bad guys, and a sister that might not be real.

Buffy gave a deep sigh, "I gotta go. Dawn and I had a fight earlier. I should apologise."

"Keep safe, Buff."

"I will."

Buffy arrived home out of breath. Without knowing why, after she left the Bronze and Spike, she started to run. The turmoil she felt raged through her, she didn't know what to think or feel. Clutching her aching stomach wound, she made the way into the house. Before she had a chance to find her mum, her cell phone rang. She ran up the stairs to her room, knowing it would be Dean.

"Hello," she answered, sitting down on her bed.

"Hey Buff," He replied, voice full of concern, "how have things been?"

"Not great," She admitted, appreciating having someone who she could be honest with. Her whole life was being tough, making the hard choices and leading her friends through battles and crisis. Being vulnerable with Dean made it easier. Having someone she could be talk with helped more than she could imagine. "I got shish kabobed."

"What?" Dean asked dumbly.

"I was on the losing end of the stake," she said carefully, "I'm okay, Slayer healing, but yeah, I got stabbed."

"Jesus, Buff," Dean replied, his voice panicked, "What happened?"

"A vamp," Buffy explained, "He just got the better of me."

Dean was silent for a moment, "It happens," he said consolingly. "We go up against enough bad guys, one it bound to get a hit in every now and then."

She breathed out in relief. Dean didn't need an explanation on why she lost. He didn't assume it must have been a super vamp, or something powerful. He knew the draw.

"I know, it's just," She cut herself off with a sigh, "I've been training harder than ever before. I'm in tip top shape. I don't know how it happened."

"I doubt it was something you did, sweetheart. Sometimes they're faster, or get an opportunity that we missed seein'. It happens."

Buffy wished she had called Dean earlier. Maybe his reassurance would have stopped her going to Spike for help. Now, she couldn't get the vampire's words out of her head.

"What if it's something more?" She asked quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"What if, there's this part of me that's tired. I've been fighting for so long. Constantly on guard, scared, worried, fighting every damn day," a deep exhale came over the phone, "What if a part of me wants it to be over."

Dean went silent on the other line, so Buffy pushed on. "I could have beat that vamp, but I didn't. He stabbed me, and almost killed me, and I let it happen. That's a mistake I wouldn't have made even in my first year of Slaying. There is part of me that doesn't want this life anymore. A part of me who doesn't want this struggle, but knows, I can never leave. Slaying is who I am. If I'm alive, this is what I have to do. Maybe a part of me is looking for a way out." As she spoke, her voice became quieter, smaller and sad. She almost jumped when Dean spoke up.

"Bullshit."

Buffy was shocked, it took her a moment for his response to sink in, "Excuse me?"

"That's bullshit, Buffy. We live in a dark world, and it's hard. It tough, and it's every day, but it's what we do. You are full of life. You are not looking for a way out, you hear me? Don't you dare let that line of thinking fill you with doubt and fear. I've met a lot of people in this life, I've seen their darkness and emptiness and that ain't you. So what if one vamp got the upper hand? That's life. We get back up, and we keep going. That's who you are, Buffy."

Buffy felt her heart stutter at the words. He spoke with such surety, such conviction, as if no other line of thought could possibly be acceptable. He believed in what he said, believed in her so strongly, she felt her own resolve harden.

"You're right," she said quietly, but strongly.

"Damn straight I am," Dean replied, relief thick in his voice. "Look, Buff, this life ain't peaceful, and who knows if or when it'll take us, but the moment we give up, that's the moment they win. I'm not gunna let you do that. I can't have you thinking you need to die. I can't."

She heard his voice break at the end, although no other signs of grief came through. She understood, because she felt the same. There was many times in her life when Dean made her feel grounded, and safe. She couldn't imagine losing that.

"Okay," she said simply, putting as much weight into the word as she could.

"Okay than," Dean agreed gruffly.

She sighed, "I wish you were here, Dean."

"Me too, sweetheart," he replied sadly.

A couple of weeks later Buffy called Dean. He rushed to the phone, worried. He had been trying to call Buffy constantly for weeks, with no answer or replies.

"Buffy?" he asked, out of breath.

"Dean?"

"God, Buffy, where have you been? I've been calling nonstop, I thought you died!"

It wasn't until he stopped talking that he realised that Buffy was crying. "Buffy? What happened?"

"It's mom," she replied, choked up.

Dean clenched his eyes closed, trying to not get emotional. "Joyce? What happened? Is she okay?"

"She's got a tumor. In her brain. They said they can operate, but they don-, and Dawn, sh-" that was all she managed to get out before she broke down crying.

Dean was still on the phone to Buffy when he got in the Impala ready to go to her. "Babe, I'm coming, okay? I'll be there as soon as I can."

He was shocked when Buffy choked out a strong, "no!"

"Buffy, you need me there, I'm coming."

"No Dean, there's just too much going on. I just can't see you right now." Dean fell silent, a little hurt at her admission.

"Dean, please understand. I want to see you. I do, but now isn't a good time. Not with Glory, and mum. When I see you, I want actually be able to see you. Not blow you off to be in the hospital, or off hunting," she said between tears, imploring him to understand, "when I see you again, I don't want it to be covered in darkness."

"I could help with the hunting," he mumbled in reply, knowing he sounded petulant.

"No, you can't," Buffy said seriously. "You're a good hunter, Dean, but Glory is something else. You'll come here and end up dead. I couldn't handle that. Not with everything else."

Dean understood, but wasn't happy about it. He stayed on the phone to Buffy for the rest of the night, listening as she spoke about Dawn being the Key, Glory, and her mother's illness. He wanted nothing more to run to her, and give her any comfort he could, but instead he stayed and respected her wishes.

Dean felt like a pathetic loser. He had called Buffy daily, sometimes twice daily, since he found out about her mother. He wanted to make sure if everything was okay, but she wasn't picking up. She would send him the occasional message to let him know she was alive and well, but it wasn't enough for him. He ached to hear her voice.

After almost a month, Buffy finally picked, "hey, I was just about to call you." Her voice sounded broken.

"Are you okay? Your mom?"

Buffy smiled at the obvious concern in Dean's voice, "yeah, she's great. The surgery went fine. She's recovering pretty well."

Dean was relieved, but was still concerned, "that's good, Buffy, real good, but why does it sound like you just had to put your dog down?"

This time Buffy actually laughed. She had a horrible night, but Dean's lack of tact could put Anya to shame. "Riley left."

"What do you mean 'left'?" Dean was obviously angry, "you're up against a mega bitch, and your mom was just in hospital with a brain tumour and he just left?" At the end, Dean's voice had raised to near shouting.

"He went back to the commandos. He said they needed him. More than I needed him."

"Dick."

Buffy chuckled, but sobered quickly, "that's not all. He had been paying vamp whores to bite him. Like some sort of adrenalin fix. He said that he did it so he could 'understand me better'. As if having Angel and Dracula bite me was anything like that."

"Wait- Dracula?" Dean asked incredulously.

"I didn't tell you?" Buffy asked excitedly, "I totally met Dracula! Kicked his butt too."

Dean smiled, "of course you did, sweetheart. Well, all I know is Riley is an idiot. Being bit isn't who you are, it's a part of the job. You fight enough vamps, eventually ones gunna get a fang in ya, whether you like it or not."

Buffy warmed at Dean's words. He summed up in one sentence what she spent hours trying to make Riley understand.

"I wish you were here, Dean." She sighed, "I miss you."

"You too, Princess."

"You will never guess what happened," Buffy started before Dean even got to say hello.

"Well hello to you too, sweetheart," he replied, smiling.

"No time for hellos! You will never guess what happened," she repeated.

"Alright, fill me in."

"Spike told me he loved him. He kidnapped me, tied me up, threatened to kill me, and then told me he loved me! Who does that?"

"Not who, sweethear, what. Crazy ass vamp," Dean replied, not even trying to keep the irritation out of his voice. "I don't understand why you didn't off him years ago."

Buffy sighed, "c'mon Dean, not this again. He's chip boy. Killing him would be like killing a chained up dog."

"A chained up dog with a history of murder."

"Can we please not do this? It's been a loooong night."

"Alright," he conceded, "what else is new?"

"Ohh I didn't tell you! Remember the hell bitch I've been up against? Well turns out she is a literal hell bitch."

"Huh?"

"She's a God."

"A God huh? Like a pagan thing? They're tough, but she shouldn't be much trouble for you."

"No, not a pagan God, a Hell God, from another dimension."

"Well that's new."

"Tell me about it."

A/N:

Nice to be able to post again so soon! I had half of this chapter already written, so it was mostly filling in the gaps. The next chapter will probably take longer, as it'll cover the end of season 5. Basically, I'm trying to do two solid chapters per season. That might change, but atm it's fitting to the story i'm telling. I hope you enjoy this, please let me know what you think, and please, follow and favourite.

all the kind reviews you leave me, inspire me to write more, so please keep it up.

Thanks!