GreedyEmo: I wanted to wait till I got Chapter 5 finished before I posted this BUT I WAS SO FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT THE FACT THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE A CHAPTER TO UPLOAD AND SOMETHING ACTUALLY HAPPENS IN IT ASDSLKHJRDFLK! I actually do have the beginning of Chapter 5 done and I have a vague idea of where it's going but nothing is set in stone so... Regardless, you won't have to wait too long.

Guys go to the mall or to town together all the fucking time. It's not gay, or stupid. But, in Kyle's case, it might just be a little gay. It's also been heard from a reliable source, that hipsters are hated by everyone but hipsters themselves, not just by the residents of Tumblr.

The usual sound of Randy and Sharon Marsh's morning shouting match woke Stan from his slumber. Memories of his dream assaulted him, disjointed images of what happened. The mental picture of a warm mouth against his own, tongues pressed together as a hand snaked its way down towards his crotch was like a slap in the face for Stan. He shot up gasping for air, images quickly fading as he tried to grasp a hold on reality.
Running a hand through his sweat-dampened hair, he became aware of a hardness pressing against his stomach. He pulled at the waistband of his boxers and sighed, climbing out of bed and heading towards the bathroom for a cold shower.

"No Brandon I don't care what your Mom says I'm coming over today and that's final!" Stan cringed at Shelly's voice –'New boyfriend' he thought – and stepped back into his bedroom rubbing his hair with the towel. A beeping sound distracted him from dressing as he crossed the room to his phone.

Good Morning Sunshine! Wanna hang out today? –Kyle

Stan looked at the text, bemused, and was half-way through texting back to tell him that it was a Saturday A.K.A Date night, before remembering. 'Oh yeah,' he thought, 'no Wendy...' He considered texting her for a minute, and apologising for the previous day when last night's conversation hit him. 'No. I'm done. No more Wendy.' He fired off a quick text to Kyle instead.

Sure dude, when and where? –Stan

The Mall in an hour? –Kyle

I'll be there. –Stan

The South Park mall, once a booming haven for all walks of life, had been reduced over time to something less extravagant; a Wal-Mart, and a Starbucks very close to being swallowed whole by the capacious KFC to its immediate left, made up the main circle, and was surrounded by less popular stores opened for the sole reason of the mayor being afraid of the kind of 'voodoo' the resident Goth Kids would do to her if they didn't have somewhere to stock up on black nail polish and affordable boots. It did its job, however, of attracting the throngs of overzealous shoppers looking for a cheap buy.

Stan stood outside American Apparel, a recent store to the area given that the vampire fad, which had slowly morphed into 'Scene Kids' and was now 'Hipster', was the new big thing. He grimaced as he avoided pastel-haired girls in short shorts (inappropriate for South Park's constant climate of below fucking zero) and blouses buttoned up all the way to the top, and what Stan assumed to be boys, decked out in cardigans, skinny jeans, and those gay-ass suede shoes that reminded him of the ones he was forced to wear to his elementary school leavers dance. As if the look couldn't get any more ridiculous, each and every outfit was completed with clip-on bowtie, braces, and giant fake glasses with no lenses. He shook his head at the sight, and pushed the sleeves of his old brown jacket up his arms, desperately hoping for Kyle to hurry up so he could get the fuck out of there.

As if he'd heard Stan's silent prayers, Kyle turned up 5 minutes later, apologising about not being able to get away from Ike and his 'homework problems', code for 'give me a reason to avoid Mom all day she's driving me crazy'. Stan grabbed his arm, cutting off his explanations, and quickly pulled him away from where he was waiting.

"Sorry dude; the crowd, you know?"

They walked in silence for a while, window shopping mostly, occasionally drifting into stores to browse video games, or CD's, chatting about what they'd just bought, and falling into silence again. They reached the inner circle where Stan asked if Kyle was hungry, gesturing to the KFC.

"Uh, sure," he nodded and followed Stan through the glass door.

"Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence, guys." Kyle rolled his eyes and muttered a 'Jesus fucking Christ' to himself, before turning around and finding himself face-to-face with Eric Cartman.

"Hey guys," he said, waving to Kenny and Butters, who were stood in the background, silently apologising for Cartman, "what do you want Fatty, or are you just here to kiss the manager's ass for free gravy again?"

Kyle grinned as he saw the other tense up. "That was one time Kahl," he said, voice bordering on whining, "and it totally would have worked of those god-damn hippy protesters didn't show up!"*

Kyle was about to retort but was interrupted by Stan returning with food. 'When did he even leave?'

"Oh I see what's going on; now that little Peter's lost his Wendy he's decided to trade her in for a different model. Very different from what I can see." He laughed, glancing around to see if anyone else thought it was funny.

"Shut up Cartman," spat Kyle, taking a step forward and towering a good few inches over the fat boy.

"Now, now," he said, waving a condescending finger in Kyle's face. "Hell of a time to pick her Stan; they're always pissy when they're on their period."

"I said shut the fuck up!"

"Testy isn't she? Tell me Kylie, how does our Stanny fuck you with all that sand in your vagina?"

Kyle threw himself at Cartman, catching him off guard and sending both of them into a table, their combined weight making it creak. He punched the other square in the nose and pulled back his fist to get in another, when he felt something catch his arm. He stopped and looked back to see Stan pulling him off Cartman, as the other restaurant-goers watched in awe. He reluctantly let go of Cartman's shirt, which he had been using to keep him pinned to the table, and allowed Stan to pull him outside before the store manager showed up and had them arrested, Kenny and Butters following behind.

"Dude, what the fuck was that?" asked Kenny, looking at Kyle oddly.

"Sorry it's just… it's been a while since I've seen him and I… I guess I just forgot how much he pissed me off…" he trailed off at the end, hoping his friends would let it go.**

Stan shook his head as Kenny opened his mouth to speak. "Come on dude, you wanna go back to mine and play video games?" he asked, taking their bags and they're food from Butter's who had, thankfully, picked them up before they fled, and leading Kyle away after waving goodbye to his friends.

"So…" he began when they walked out the parking lot, "you wanna talk about what happened back there?"

"I already told you," he said shortly, mentally scolding himself immediately for snapping at him, "He just pissed me off."

Stan nodded but remained silent for the rest of the trip home, trusting that Kyle would tell him in his own time if something was up.

*Obviously Cartman didn't literally kiss the manager's arse; they're 14. I'm just using it figuratively.

**Cartman already suspects what Kyle's big secret is and is purposely trying to push Kyle's buttons. Kyle knows this and that's why he attacked Cartman the way he did. BTW this isn't a spoiler because if you don't know what Kyle's 'big secret' is by now then I'm sorry for your brain.

GreedyEmo: So I had no idea where the fight scene came from but suddenly it was in my head and it seemed like a really good idea because even though Cartman is hilarious, he's a douchebag and I thought it would be fun to make him some sort of minor antagonist in this. Nothing major don't worry. Also if you got the Peter Pan reference I love you because the Disney animated film and the 2003 live action release are my all time favourite films.