Loving You
Sorry for such a late update, life has been very busy.
POV: Hinata
Time: Three Months (Back to the Palace Grounds)
I sigh as I watch Ayame warn me that Emperor Sasuke is coming and that I should make myself scarce. It's been like this since we've gotten home. I hide from Sasuke who visits our Palace frequently. As the days grow colder Ino's mental stability has declined. She demanded his attention often. Always a strong woman I wonder why she's collapsing. Every time I meet with her, she dodges my questions.
When we sipped tea for the first time when we go home, the noon air still hot and stuffy she told me how she believes she might lose this baby. Sitting in our pond and getting fanned by our maids I wonder why she would think such a thing. Even if something unlucky occurs to her, I don't believe it would stay with her for long. I wanted to dispel those thoughts from her mind, but time proved to be useless. I assume that as she grew with her child her ego would grow too. I can handle that. Now she's a shell of her former self.
Only when Emperor Sasuke visits, and he visits daily, if not twice a day to check up on her. The few times I've been unlucky enough to be in her side of our Palace when he's visiting has been awkward to say the least. I'm married to this man, but his love is spent on Ino. Who stays in bed till noon and eats only the plainest vegetables to keep her going. He glances my way politely but I always slip by. I don't want to catch his eye.
Not only would that probably kill Ino, I would be more of a target for the other concubines. Since Ino and Sakura are pregnant he has been going elsewhere for this night time needs. Thankfully my prayers were answered and I was never called upon. This doesn't mean others haven't. Karin has been called upon, however her favor ends when he wakes up. Same with Lady Yumi and Lady Rika who he goes to as well.
Now Karin doesn't bully me, but I know I'm the lowest. A concubine who hasn't slept with her husband has no business on existing. Not a chance for children and not bringing him joy, my life is useless. I take up space, time and effort. Just as I've always had.
Part of me wonders why hasn't he though, was I far too ugly for him?
I kneel down next to my maids as I hear Emperor Sasuke rush by to visit Ino again, the long procession of ever present servants and officials following him are a good warning sign for me. I take cover in my wardrobe until he's safely inside her rooms.
As I move closer to the back my foot nudges in with the box that contains my alter-ego Lady of Dreams. I've been out three more times and each time has brought joy to the Kingdom and praises for the Imperial Family. Every time I sneak out I feel more alive than I'll ever feel inside here. Locked away lieka caged bird.
Lord Kiba and Lord Shino, now my friends were scared at first and so was I, but as Ino's condition worsen and Empress Sakura still refusing any love from the Emperor he has been making rash decisions. His decisions often work out in the end with the help of many officials to make sure everything goes according to plan. However in luck will run our eventually.
Ayame knocks on the door and helps me.
"Lady Hinata, he believes are you at Karin's, why don't we pay her a visit?"
"He asked for me?" I whispered softly. He has never done so before.
"Yes, he did, just now I was so worried! Ko saved you by saying that you left earlier to visit some of the other ladies of the court. But now you have to leave, come on."
I sneak by quickly and quietly, letting Ko keep watch behind my back. When I reach Karin's palace I notice that it looks much brighter.
"Lady Karin." I bow gently as I'm lead in by her maid. She has been in an amazing mood since Sasuke has called her. Always bright and happy.
"Hinata I don't know how you can be so formal! We're practically sisters!" She squeals easily, she puts more ornaments into her hair. Even though it's the afternoon she continues to dress herself continuously just in case Emperor Sasuke comes over. Always her lips and the smoothest reds, her eyes painted with care. Her attention to detail does not go unnoticed.
I giggle softly before clasping my hands to hers. They're cold.
"Ai ya, Karin why are you so cold? Why don't you get the maids to put more coal in, or layer up?"
I rub my hands against her. My own fur vest keeps me warm, she wears one as well, but for some reason it isn't working. It would be a pain for her to be sick.
"Oh no, it's not cause I'm cold, I've been using cream to lighten my skin. I just put it on Hinata, don't worry. I have the darkest skin here. Sasuke doesn't like that."
"He told you! You don't even have that dark of skin! Lord Kiba's skin is much darker and he's full of luck!"
"No, but I can tell." She says dismissively before leaning in my ear.
"I heard that Empress Sakura only allows Emperor Sasuke into her chambers when it's about the baby."
I sigh lightly, Empress Sakura have told me that once the baby was born and if it's a boy she would purge herself of bed business. Empress Sakura only likes me. She calls on me a few times a week to talk to her. Often she just shares some stories and good tea.
"She's hurt."
"Still, how can she refuse him?"
"Emperor Sasuke respects her." Sasuke respects very few, when he was drunk earlier this month he slapped Lady Yumi over the head for a rude comment about the Empress. He doesn't even talk to Lady Yumi. Just does his time and leaves.
Karin nods before picking up her tea. It's a smooth green tea and tastes very sweet.
"A gift from Sasuke?"
Her smile widens.
"The first gift he has ever given me actually! I only bring it out on special occasions."
"I'm honored then."
"Would you like to play checkers?" Karin says easily, pulling out one of the drawers of the table we're sitting at.
"The Emperor Sasuke is here." A man comes in and announces.
We quickly leap to our feet and Karin grins widely.
"Emperor Sasuke." We bow gently.
"Lady Karin, Lady Hinata." He nods back to us politely.
"How is everything Emperor Sasuke?" Lady Karin starts, allowing him to take her spot. "Nana, get him some tea!" She rushes her maid quickly.
"Please sit down." He says, he sounds tired. "It's a surprise to see you here Hinata." He raises his eyebrow and looks at my almost full cup of tea. He must know that I just got here as well. I try to keep my cool.
"I visit when time allows." I humbly say sitting next to him as a stool is brought for Karin. Her striking dark blue dress with orange birds looks beautiful next to her fierce red hair.
"Hn." He sips his tea lightly and allows a small look of pleasure to wash over him.
"Is everything okay?" Karin says softly. Although she has some favor, he doesn't often visit during the day.
"Care to have a drink with me tonight Karin?"
"I'll be honored." She bows quickly.
"I do have something to ask of you, Empress Sakura and Ino have been very tired and the stress of carrying the royal children is taking a toile on them. It would be helpful if you could plan some entertainment for the beginning of the diplomatic game we're going to have with the Kingdom of Suna."
Karin listens to his words as if they're her life line.
"It would be my pleasure to help you." She says quickly and easily.
"Let Hinata help you okay? I don't want her to get too tired." Emperor Sasuke murmurs. He finishes his tea as he and Karin eye each other and I feel like the third wheel. Just as I was about to move out he stands up.
"I'm taking my leave first." As he leaves we bow again quickly.
"Isn't he just amazing?" Karin gives me a love sick look as she watches from the window as he leaves.
"I'm glad you think so." She rolls her eyes at me.
"What do you think we should do for the Kingdom of Suna, I know so little about them."
"We're celebrating a year of peace with them. Not only are we at peace we're trade partners now. They're having feasts and a sport competition. I'm sure the warriors present will bring their children and wives."
"How many are coming?"
"It's a very small party, but the most important people will be here."
"How do you know of this Hinata?"
"My Clan was there when we declared the war over, we helped with the Treaty. I stayed informed about the two country's relations since."
"Oh I see, do you believe that we should focus on the children?"
"The children will have nannies with them, we'll decorate the garden and have more swings put in. We'll get the Royal Zoo, which is already an attraction to gather ponies for them. For the wives and the Harem we should do some sort of play a performance that reflects on the social standing on the woman here."
Karin nods thoughtfully as one of her maids puts down the ideas.
"What about food?"
"Well along with the Feast we should make sure their comfortable; we'll have their food in our Kingdom."
"What kind of food do they have? I've never been outside the country before."
"Lord Neji has told me stories where we are younger; he says it's rather meat heavy and mild."
"Sounds dull." Karin whines. We've been spoiled here with a wide range of delicacies at our finger tips.
"Karin, tonight you should ask Emperor Sasuke for private meeting with the Ambassador of Suna to come over. We can talk about the culture more and gain more insight. It's important that everything goes smoothly."
Karin nods quickly, I leave shortly after that. Karin will be getting her Palace ready ordering food to be prepared, drinks to bring out and news clothes and hair ornaments to be put in.
As I walk my way with Hanabi and Emi to make our way back to my palace to Ko and Ayame who stayed to get supper ready we hear screaming, from my Palace.
"What's going on?" Although Hanabi stops in her tracks, Emi attempts to pull me forward.
"Hinata can't go back, who knows what's going on?" Hanabi stands firmly not letting go.
"It's Lady Ino!" Emi snaps back.
"We have to go." My voice is strained, did she loose the child? Hanabi gives me a sad look, she hates it when I don't take her side, but this time I can't focus on that. We run quickly, as quickly as I can in my tight shoes.
They lead me quickly to our Palace; I pass the pots, now filled with bushes and small flowers for the cold weather.
"Ino!" I yell out, in the main room she isn't in there, I check the left one, her leisure room with a study desk, chairs and stacks of books. When I open the thick cloth closure to her bedroom it hits me.
The strong essence of musk in everywhere.
But no Ino.
"Hanabi, get Emi and Ko! Ayame help me fan the scent away!" I start pulling her pillows out and opening the lattice window, I open her chest of clothes; we don't know where the smell is coming from. I don't see anything burning.
"Lady Hinata!" Ko leads me out as Hanabi takes over removing clothes and cushions from the room. Anything where the scent can be trapped in linger must be removed!
"Where is Ino?" I ask Ko.
"Emi was going to check on Ino after Emperor Sasuke left, she had finished taking care of your meals. Earlier, Ino has sent all of her maids away and Emi wanted to make sure the food that was prepared was still hot. When she came in, the bedroom was set apart but the food in the main room was getting cold. When Emi opened the door, she didn't recognize the scent as musk, but when she woke up Ino she began to scream. Emi lead her out."
"Take me there."
"My lady, you're breathless and Lady Ino went to the Grand Hall to speak with Emperor Sasuke, you can go there unless you're summoned, or an emergency. "
A young eunuch came and got me a seat outside her Palace.
"My Lady, Hinata please don't go back in. The Musk can damage your body as well."
"Get me sister out Ko, take her place please." I beg him. He silently nods.
"You! Eunuch, where are Imperial Consort Ino's maids?" The young eunuch, probably not assigned to anyone personally looked amazingly young, maybe 14? He has a scared look and scurries forward, looking meek and shy. I look I've known all my life.
"Lady Hinata." He bows and kneels to one knee clumsily. "I don't know." He whispers softly. The dark blue and red robes swallow him up.
Hanabi comes rushing down, her cheeks tinted pink.
"We can't find the source of the smell! It seems to be everywhere. "
Hanabi hugs me close, it's getting colder and even though I can a cloak I can feel it. She looks down at the eunuch. "What your name?"
If he could get any lower to the ground he's be buried under it.
"Han." He whispers.
"Well eunuch Han, hurry up and get the Empress."
"I can't." He murmurs softly. He looks close to tears now.
Hanabi pulls away from me and looks ready to smack him.
"Why can't you?" I ask softly, I let my rigid posture go and lean down to him.
"I'm not a Harem eunuch, I belong to Lord Kiba."
Why would he be here?
He quickly slips a small note from his pocket and hands to Hanabi. She tears it from his hands with unnecessary force.
She gives it to me.
"The Garden, tomorrow midday."
"Does this mean anything to you sister?"
"Hanabi, go get Empress Sakura please." She gives me a stink eyes but makes her way quickly.
"Han, you need to be more careful." I say softly, he looks up with me. His heart shaped face will never grow a beard, his muscles will never grow long, he'll never have children, but at this point his only worry is to please Kiba.
"How long have you been with Kiba?"
"Miss Hyuna didn't like me and sent me back. I was supposed to be a gift for her." Hyuna, the cold hearted fiancé of Kiba is a very difficult woman. Kiba has complained about her before, he says that if he finds a girl he likes he'll marry her, cause there's no way he could live with just Hyuna. Hyuna however is a member of his clan and is famous for her great beauty. When they were signed together people believed her fire and his fire would match harmoniously.
"You can get up you know, I won't bite I promise." He moves up and I get a better look at his prone form.
"Thanks Lady Hinata."
"Go back and tell Kiba I'll try to make it okay?"
He nods and runs off. I feel bad, a eunuch doesn't really have much, Ko is different because our Clan has branches, but even if he's the lowest one the clan will take care of him. He doesn't look like Kiba at all and his family probably cut him and then sold him for money.
One of Ino's maids comes running and bows at my feet.
"Lady Hinata, your presence is wanted at the Grand Hall!"
Ayame and Ko quickly order the remaining maids and help me get into the Grand Hall. It would be easier if I had men to carry on, but I'm not of status yet. Nor will I ever be.
When we make it the oldest eunuch I've ever seen smiles at me gently.
"Lady Hinata please this way."
I've never been to the Grand Hall and it's beautiful. Engravings of dragons and phoenixes, scripture and paintings in gold in from floor to ceiling, from wall to wall, it's a lot to take in.
"Lady Hinata!" I get announced as I bow to the Empress, Emperor and Ino.
I sit down in the cushion provided, Ino's face is streaked with tears and Emi is trying to console her.
"Musk is very dangerous and we're blessed that Ino's child is safe, but you must know the dangers. Has anyone been suspicious around your Palace as of late?" Empress Sakura asked, calmly, she didn't seem peeved or anything. Her own hand was placed on her own belly. She looks strong.
"No your Imperial Grace." I keep my head down.
Emperor Sasuke looks perturbed.
"Ino, I can't allow you to leave the Palace." He sounds tired, old and bland. "This isn't up for debate."
"Sasuke," Ino starts with, "my life is in danger, and please let me go to Peony Palace. Please your grace. Think of our child!"
The Peony Palace is a summer Palace, in wasn't used this year, but it's on a lake. It's beautiful and perfect for the summer, but in the winter it can be so cold.
"Ino, please, reconsider your request." Sasuke says, you can tell he doesn't want to fight with her.
Ino pleads with her eyes and looks up at me.
"I think Sasuke that Ino is right. To send her away for the attacker would be a good thing. We don't know who it is. Plus the bad energy can disrupt the Kingdom of Suna. Send her away on a vacation." Empress Sakura says dismissively.
I can tell by Ino's face she's mad.
"Emperor-" Ino starts to plead.
"Emperor Sasuke," I stand up my face hot,"I can say that her Palace will not be safe until we find the source of the musk. My maids and I couldn't find it. Although we're tried our best, it's hard to say where it is."
I sit down quickly, my neck heats up as he looks at me under my purple collar.
"I understand. Ino you'll be sent to Peony Palace until you deliver your child or until the person responsible is brought to justice. Nothing can harm the royal blood." Emperor Sasuke says with an air of finality.
"I take my leave first." Empress Sakura says and moves with her maid to her Palace. Her striking eyes meet mine; unsure of the meaning behind them I know I'll be called to her sooner or later.
Ino and I take our leave as another official comes in with urgent news.
"He wants to get rid of me." Ino murmurs.
"You wanted this Ino."
"That was before Empress Sakura agreed with me!" She shrieks. "How can I gain favor if I'm away?"
"The heart longs what it cannot have. Emperor Sasuke will be with want for you the entire time because he cannot have you. This is an ideal situation Ino, your child comes first."
Ino upset though and leaves for another Palace where Emperor Sasuke must have directed her too.
I sigh softly as I continue my walk with Hanabi.
"Sister the way he looks at you is with love. It's unlike Ino's and Sakura's look."
"It's because I am from a powerful clan Hanabi, think nothing of it."
"I don't know why you don't even try."
"Hanabi, let's end this conversation. I've heard from Ayame that you have a crush on Lord Shino, is that true?"
"I should have never told her."
"I'm here to make a match for you Hanabi; he's powerful and strong, kind and would love you. Do you want me to pursue this?"
"Wait a year sister, why get rid of me so easy?"
When we get over to the Palace maids are still running around, carrying her belongings. Packing her clothes and going through each piece to make sure the scent doesn't linger.
I eat a little bit of food before looking up at my small family here. They're all happy, cleaning up and putting things away, chatting easily and sipping tea. I love Ayame and Emi, smart and helpful they have a kind heart and easy personality. I can't help but think of Han, who's probably in the eunuch hall scared and alone.
"Ko can you get Eunuch Yoh please?"
Ko looks up surprised, but doesn't question me.
"Do you think we need more help Hinata?" Ayame asks gently as she pours more tea for me.
"That small eunuch, Han, he might be better pleased here with me. That's all."
"Maybe, but we don't really have a use for him." Emi murmured thoughtfully.
"As a eunuch, like Ko he can move in and out more easily. It would also ease your work load." I explain thoughtfully, "Plus he's all alone here and I feel like he needs a family."
"Excuse me Lady Hinata." Hanabi moves to the main room to see who it is.
She rushes back in with a grin," Its Emperor Sasuke!"
Ayame looks and me and winks before she and Emi usher themselves out.
It's weird that he could come to me. As a virgin I could stay at his palace the first night.
"Emperor Sasuke." I move up and bow at him.
"Lady Hinata." He smiles at me gently, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes.
I keep my head down as Hanabi gets him another bowl for him to join me.
"Is everything to your liking?" He asks softly as he munches on fish and vegetables.
"Yes, I'm honored to be here." I respond. I try to smile, but fail.
We sit in comfortable silence, he doesn't try to talk, and he just eats and relaxes next to me.
"Do you drink Hinata?"
"No Emperor Sasuke. I know how to pour if you'd like some."
Hanabi waits for my instructions to get the rice wine.
"No, no it's fine."
He just sips his tea and watches me with soft eyes.
"You don't speak much do you?"
"Not really Emperor."
"Call me Sasuke, please, just like when we were little."
"I don't remember." I respond quietly.
"We were young, our Clans were getting together. You saved me from getting in trouble."
I remember now, the entire Uchiha family had come that time to the Main Branches Palace in the North. It was snowy and very cold, we were maybe 3 or 4 and although young we were expected to be perfect. Itachi was maybe 8 and was put in charge of us as we played in a large common room.
It was snowing though and after a complete bitch fit from Sasuke Itachi let us go outside.
As we ran, outside the snow we were just fooling around and he pushed me into the ice pond. I fell in.
Itachi had to run out and save me. Although to him it was up to his waist, I would have drowned. I remember Sasuke crying and hugging Itachi as he held me up.
We actually had to interrupt their meeting. I remember the disappointing look from my Father. I never told anyone it was Sasuke fault. The commotion though was not appreciated. I remember the talking to I had from my father, even My Mother, pregnant with Hanabi was very upset. I remember on the next visits only Itachi came, or I was never present.
"My father, he doesn't appreciate foolishness." I can't help but notice the present tense.
"Neither does mine."
"You could have told him and not have been in trouble, but you didn't."
He goes over to my mirror and opens the small drawer. He fingers the beautiful jade bracelet.
"I've never seen you wear this. Do you not like it?"
"It's lovely." I let him put it on.
"Good night Hinata." He takes his leave and I stay in my seat completely confused.
As I undo my hair and put on my pajamas I can't help but notice how cold the jade feels on my skin.
Hanabi however won't stop bragging about it to Ayame and Emi.
"It was awesome. He totally loves her."
Ko brings Han to me, who's in tears and throws himself at me.
"Lord Kiba said I could stay with you!"
"I'm so happy to have you." I hug him and realize just how small and skinny he is.
Ayame and Emi just adore him, he's a sweet kid. A little on the nervous side but he's new to the Palace, I don't blame him.
When I woke up that morning I heard that after having drinks with Karin he left for the night. He didn't go to anyone that night.
After everyone greets the Empress we move out quickly. I'll be saying good bye to Ino today, Karin has decided to come with me as well.
"Oh there's the dog! Catch her" Lady Yumi laughs easily with her maid.
I gently finger the jade on my wrist but I decide not to say anything. Hanabi just huffs and steers me away.
However Karin doesn't seem amused.
"You should know to bow to your sisters here in the Harem. How rude, now that's a disgrace." Karin says quickly.
Yumi just ignores her and pulls on one of my long braids.
"Emperor Sasuke goes to me for his nightly comfort, but you? He can't even stand to look at you!"
"Well for your information-"Hanabi started. I had to pinch her quickly.
"She is right, I haven't been serving him." I turn to move away from her but she won't let go of me.
"You'll always be the ground underneath my feet."
She cuts me off and walks forward with her maid. Karin and I look at each other, you should tell someone.
"What would that do?"
The goodbye with Ino was a very teary one. She hugged me for a long time before getting into the carriage. Lord Shikamaru is accompanying her there. I only hope that they can get along and be graceful.
POV Ino
The entire carriage ride was boring. I could do nothing but let my thoughts linger. From how he behaves with Sakura to how he looks at me and Hinata, I feel the pressure to outdo all of them. My hasn't told me that he loved me for quite some time. It doesn't matter how I respond, if I act strong he doesn't come, the only way I can get him to be with me is when I act weak.
I feel bad, but I don't want him to forget me.
I was upset at Hinata when she asked Sasuke to allow me to leave. The way he looked at her was like nothing before. His eyes lingered on her lightly, not with lust or respect and duty, but with simple happiness to see her.
She's a fresh face, that's what I told myself all last night but I know it's fruitless.
I rub my stomach and pray for an easy birth. I pray for a boy.