Part four of five
Depression
Illusions are always so very fragile. When an inconsistency is found, it is only a matter of time before it breaks; like a small flaw in a pane of glass, it will continue to grow so very subtly until it cannot be ignored. The cracks will be seen and the glass will break.
Arietta decides there is no point is lying to herself any longer. Instead of letting the illusory shell around crumble, she had allowed a steel hammer to strike upon it, and without a doubt, it shattered, leaving her to be splintered by the shards.
Why did Sync look just like Ion? She did not want to answer that question, even if she already knew the answer. She would not be able to cope. It did not matter if the question could be answered or not, she decides, because there is no point in living.
Her ligers were concerned when their mistress returned to her room with a dazed expression. They would have dismissed it if she had returned to her usual self, but she did not. Instead, Arietta curled up on her bed, pulled the blankets around her and stared at the wall. Crouching near her bed, they hope their presence would comfort their mistress. They could hear her sniffling and saw her jerking her arm under the sheets as she wept.
"He looks just like Ion," she whispers to her ligers, "It's impossible, but he looks just like Ion. It's impossible."
She repeats it over and over again. She can do nothing but lament and rue how she insisted on seeing Sync's face. There were truths that she could deny, but this was a reality that could not be masked. She tells them everything very quietly, since they cannot repeat what she promised not to tell. The creatures cannot respond to her with kind comforting words, they cannot find a way to express a means to alleviate her despair.
She remains in her room for days. There is no point in leaving, no point in doing anything. Nobody else knows the truth, except Sync. But she will honour her agreement because she was the one who insisting on seeing the truth, regardless of the consequences. Arietta did not think things through, as usual, and what she ends up with are painful unexpected results. But there is no point, she repeats over and over again. She sobs herself to sleep when nobody is around. She doesn't know how to go on.
Largo tries to comfort her, but his words have no effect.
"It might help," he tells her, "If you talk about it."
She shakes her head again and again.
"It won't help," she whispers, "It won't help. There's no point in talking. There's no point at all."
"You have to overcome it," Largo tries again, "Being depressed won't improve anything."
"Why bother?" she asks.
"Was it Sync? Did he say something to you?"
She doesn't answer.
"I'll talk to Sync."
"NO! It's pointless!"
Largo is stunned.
However, she has no intention of going back on her word. Telling would do little to help. Nothing would come from it. The illusion is gone - she has to acknowledge it was an illusion in the end, it cannot be denied any longer.
"Arietta?"
"Leave me alone!"
After a moment, Largo decides to take her words to heart and leaves her alone as she wallows in her depression. She does not speak to anyone after that - though she appreciated Largo's sympathies, she did not want them because she felt nothing at all from any of his comforting words, no relief or hope. All Arietta can think about again and again is how Sync looks like Ion, how Ion once smiled a cold cruel smile when he thought she could not see it, and realizes how alike Ion and Sync really are.
Author: Believe it or not, I support AriettaxSync. I'm probably just: 1. Channeling repressed sadistic tendencies through Sync and 2. Just don't want to write a... saccharine story.