Chapter 4

Bobby was heavily sedated for days after the shooting. Even if he'd had the desire to wake, the drugs kept him from doing so. Lewis and Alex continued to stay at his bedside the majority of the time, but life demanded they take care of business, as well. Lewis went to the shop for a few hours each day, and his apartment briefly. Alex worked half-time at Major Case, visited her apartment, and then went back to Bobby. She read to him until her throat got dry and her voice started to give out. Then she would sit and watch old movies on the television until she started to doze in the bedside chair. The next day, it would begin again.

Today was Thursday, six days since the shooting. She went to 1PP and showered. Then she worked at her desk until she saw Ross come in. Alex took a deep breath and went to knock on the Captain's door.

"Eames, come in," he called.

She closed the door behind her.

"Something on your mind?" he asked.

"Actually, sir… yes."

Ross' eyes widened and he gestured to the chair in front of his desk. Alex walked over and lowered herself to the seat.

"Captain, I've been doing a lot of thinking… I just can't understand why I had to be left out of the loop."

"You're talking about Goren."

"Yes, sir. He's my partner. I've been by his side for years! Captain, he could have died!"

"He knew the risk."

"What?!"

"He knew what he was getting himself into."

"Don't give me that. Of course he knew, we all know what this job is. But sir, did he have ANY backup? At all? And why couldn't that have been me?"

"Eames… it was you."

"I had no idea—"

"Your team was his backup."

She was seething. Her voice trembled as she spoke. "All I knew was we had a mole with a wire. I had no idea the mole was Bobby. Hell, Cap, you didn't even clue me in to wear the phones!"

"Your team handled it."

She was completely unhappy with the direction of the conversation. "Excuse me for asking, sir, but I'd like to hear it from you. Why?"

Ross frowned, closed his eyes, and drew in a long, slow breath. When he opened his eyes, she was waiting for him to answer.

"Bobby was adrift, Eames. At the will of the tide. He wanted to get back, but there was nothing, no way for him to do it. When he stumbled upon Stoat, I saw it as an opportunity for him. I was trying to help him."

"That still doesn't explain why you couldn't tell me, why he couldn't tell me."

"Moran heard the name Testarosa and he damned near wet himself. He was delighted to have Goren in Testarosa's den. I knew Bobby could handle himself."

"Sir-!"

"Eames, if you can look at me and tell me honestly that you would have been able to back Goren up without a mention of how the Chief felt about the whole thing, then I'll—"

"Captain-!" Alex started to protest, but then she realized he was right. She would have said something to Bobby about Moran. He'd nearly gotten killed with his head screwed on straight; she couldn't imagine what would have happened if he'd been burning with rage when it all went down. Alex frowned and nodded for a long time. "Okay. Okay. Thank you." She got up and walked out of the office, looking haunted.

When she returned to the hospital, Bobby was once again off the ventilator, an addition they'd made after a couple of days of his oxygen level crashing. The fact they expected him to breathe on his own was encouraging.

She sat beside him and watched him sleep, wishing she could see his brown eyes looking into hers again. With a sigh, Alex picked up her book and started to read aloud to him once more.

She'd almost gotten used to his wheezing, but this noise was a new one. Alex peered over the pages of the novel to find him grimacing. "Bobby?!" She asked, excited.

He groaned, and then whimpered.

"Bobby, come on, wake up. I'm right here."

He sputtered a little, and then his pain-filled eyes sprung open.

Alex smiled more than she had in weeks. "Hey," she said gently, her face full of affection.

His chocolate eyes closed again and he groaned once more in pain.

"I'll call the nurse," she told him, and fumbled until her fingers found the call button. A moment later, a team arrived in the room.

"He's awake, and he's in pain," Alex told them.

"Mr. Goren, good to see you," said one nurse as she quickly recorded his vitals. The other made an adjustment to something attached to his IV, and they asked him questions about how he was feeling, the intensity of the pain, and listened to his chest through a stethoscope.

Bobby groaned again. Sympathetically, one nurse said, "I know, honey, I've just increased your pain medication. The doctor wanted to give you a chance to come out of it before we medicated you again. You're doing beautifully. Your vitals are strong."

Alex was so happy she nearly cried. She stepped in and wrapped her fingers around his, and was overjoyed when she felt him give her a little squeeze. Bobby's wheezing became a hitch, which turned into a cough, which in turn cascaded him with pain. In seconds he was unconscious again.

Alex looked to the nurses in alarm.

"It's okay. He needs to cough, even if it hurts. I put a call in to Dr. Mertz. He'll advise us on whether we should continue with the sedation. I know it was frightening, but this is a very good sign. Your partner is improving."

Alex couldn't stop the smile from blooming on her face.

Bobby's voice came in miserable squeaks and groans. He wasn't conscious, exactly, but he was aware enough that he could feel the pain. He felt like someone had lit a torch inside his chest and left it there to burn. He wanted to do something, to push the flames away, but he was so weak he could barely move his fingers.

"Bobby, that's it, come on," his friend said. Lewis was standing over him, watching Bobby struggle with consciousness. He grasped Bobby's hand, hoping the contact would provide some kind of motivation.

He groaned again, a little louder this time. Goren coughed, and mercilessly, the fire grew. He opened his eyes suddenly.

Lewis grinned. "That's it, Bobby, that's it. You're okay, see? You're in a hospital. You're okay."

Bobby was hurting so badly that at Lewis' words, he rolled his eyes and tried to pull his fingers away from the man at his bedside.

"It hurts, I know. But you can handle it now."

Bobby groaned again.

"Really, Bobby, you're so much stronger now."

Bobby's eyes were bright from the pain. He blinked at Lewis and privately wished for someone to put him out of his misery.

"It's just until the doctor comes to get a look at you. Then they'll dope you up again." Lewis took Bobby's hand again. "I promise, man."

Bobby tried to sigh, but coughed instead. A tear fell from his eye when the episode was over. Lewis found a cool washcloth and wiped the tears away, then gently cleaned his face and neck.

Bobby was in so much pain he couldn't appreciate the care his friend was giving him. He managed to move his lips and spoke for the first time since he was shot. "Fuck."

"I know, Bobby. It won't be long, now." It was tearing Lewis up to see him this way. He hadn't expected it to be so painful for Bobby. He glanced back at the doorway, hoping to get a glimpse of the Doctor and his entourage of students.

"Lewis."

"Yeah, Bobby?"

His voice failed and he only managed a weak whisper. "Eames?"

"She'll be here later. She's been here with you every day, Bobby. We take it in shifts."

Bobby tried to wrap his head around thoughts of his friends rather than the fire in his chest. The effort was only successful for a few seconds. He coughed again and moaned when he had regained his breath.

Mercifully, the doctor arrived, and after a short exam, Bobby was given a heavy dose of painkillers. Lewis watched his face relax. He patted his hand. "You're doing great, Bobby. You're a fighter," he breathed.