Updated! Fuck yes! Three months later! I think my swearing has increased a bit...

Current poll results:

Dawnguard: 5

Vampire Lord: 2

I'm biased towards Vampire Lord... COME ON! T_T

I'd really like to thank my readers for keeping me up... And then the people who don't review and PM me to write more... You know who you are... Thanks for pissing me off and making me get off my lazy, tired, college student ass to actually do something. As you read this story, please point out the mistakes you find so I can properly fix them. Or, you know Beta my story... _

Question of the day (a new thing I'm doing...): Do you plan on playing ElderScrolls Online, and if so, what race do you plan on playing?

Personally? I'm going Breton. I fucking love Bretons. Illusion/Conjuration all the way!

Author's Note 2: I thought I was pretty straight forward with this, but apparently not. The title of the story is, in fact, true. Naruto is not a khajiit... He's Naruto, with a tail and ears. The joke is that people see these two oddities and just think, 'He has a tail and weird ears. He must be a Khajiit.'

I wasn't sure if this was obvious enough, so there it is in black and white.

Chapter 4

Naruto Hoisted the thick bear pelt over his shoulder as he half stumbled/half walked out of the cave. It wasn't that he wasn't used to the weight... No, that was fine. But dealing with such an awkwardly shaped package was difficult to carry. His tail curled and bristled in annoyance as he let out a quiet sigh. It was no use being finicky about it, as most people in this land were quite used to it.

"Hold up!" Ralof said, ducking behind a boulder at the mouth of the cave. Naruto didn't have to be told twice. His dagger was instantly in his hand as he looked around. He blinked. Once. Twice.

"Ralof... Why did we sto-"

"GRAAAAAAAAAH! Zu'u Alduin. Zok sahrot do naan ko Lein!" A loud draconic screech pierced the air as a large mass streaked across the sky. Stupid dragons interrupting him.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, ALDUIN! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW!" Naruto yelled in annoyance. He hated being interrupted. He turned back to Ralof.

"What were you saying?" he asked in a pleasant manner. Ralof simply stared.

"You are the oddest Khajiit I've ever met."

"I'm not a Khajiit..." Naruto's reply was ignored. He rolled his eyes, something he seemed to have been doing a lot lately. Stupid Dragons. Stupid Daedra. Stupid people. He was struck from his thoughts as Ralof stood up.

"Right. We should head to Riverwood. Gerdur needs to be told of this." he said. Naruto blinked at the expecting tone of the Nord. He stared in silence.

"No." he finally said.

"But-"

"Not my problem." Naruto's tail swished in annoyance. He really didn't like being pulled into people's troubles. Yes, maybe once upon a time, but that was a couple millennia ago. People change over time. It's either that, or go batshit insane... Which might have happened as well... But obviously not that much... Right?

"Who else is going to inform the town...?"

"What about the Imperial and the... Empire Imperial dude..." Naruto stumbled over the words... Really? Why did they need to have the same name? Ralof blinked in confusion.

"What is this... 'Dude'?"

Naruto coughed into his clawed hand. He forgot about the language shift.

"Erm... It means a person... Informal usage. Skewed to being a male individual, although usage for females isn't unheard of."

Ralof gave a hesitant nod.

"Is that an Elsweyr custom?"

"I'm not a Khajiit!"

Naruto whistled a tune as he casually strolled under the Riverwood Gate. Why they had a gate, he didn't really understand. It's not like they had a wall that went around the whole town... He shook his head in amusement. The town was a quaint town, despite the odd gate. It a had a decent sized tavern, a general store, and a sawmill.

Naruto stopped mid-step. For some odd reason, he had this strange feeling that he'd forgotten something. With a sudden epiphany, Naruto palmed his face.

What do I do with this bear pelt? I shouldn't have ran off without Ralof... He shrugged his shoulders. No use crying over spilled milk... Or mead. Stupid Nord culture getting the best of me...

"You a Hunter?" a gruff voice asked. Naruto turned towards it with a tilted head.

"No, why?" he asked. The man who owned the voice was a tall nord. He wore a blacksmith's apron that left Naruto with glistening red eyes. That was who he was looking for. Someone who had the skills to make something with the bear's pelt. The Nord laughed loudly, shaking him from his thoughts.

"Usually hunters are the ones who walk around with their trophies. Although... Not with that look of confusion." The nord said with a hand rubbing his bearded chin in thought. Naruto quickly found himself standing in front of the man.

"You're a blacksmith, right? Making weapons and such? Can you work leather? Into armor?" Naruto's eyes progressively got bigger and bigger with each question.

"Yes. Yes. Yes. And Yes. But the question is... How much are you willing to pay?" The man asked, his mouth hitched into a slight grin. Naruto blinked before checking the the pocket sewn into his borrowed clothing, cutesy of a certain Daedra... Seriously, he had no idea where the clothes came from. Thankfully though, he'd snatched a few Septims from the corpses... Not really something he was proud of... Looting bodies was disrespectful... But money was money.

"I have 200 septims." he said. The man went back to scratching his beard in thought.

"How about this, lad," he began, "I can show you how to make what you want, as long as you bring the supplies and a bit of gold. It'll be like a basic overview of smithing."

Naruto's scarlet eyes widened even more, if that was possible. This was an extremely good deal if he'd ever heard one. Naruto held out his hand and grinned.

"The name is Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto."

"Nice to meet you... Naruto? I'm called Alvor."

Naruto was going to regret missing that mischievous glint in the man's eyes. Oh, was he going to regret it.

"Lad. You're hammering wrong. Lower. Guide the blade, don't force it." Alvor stood behind Naruto as he hammered at a glowing orange sword. Sweat poured of of him in waves.

"What does that even mean?" he shouted. Alvor rolled his eyes.

"Just do it, Khajiit." Alvor said, losing his own patience.

"I'm not a Khajiit!"

"You're letting the steel cool!"

"FUCK!" Naruto swore, grabbing the cool part of the blade and hammering out the rest of the shape. After about 5 minutes of silence, he dumped the blade in the trough of water. Alvor walked over and pulled it out, inspecting it with a practiced eye. His eyes moved from the blade, to Naruto.

"Not bad for a beginner. Try again." The man gave a hellish grin. Naruto's ears flattened as his tail wound it's way around his leg. Why did he always get into these situations?

"This is pretty good, Naruto. Not to my standards, of course, but I think you might have a future in smithing." Alvor said, his hand once again thoughtfully stoking his beard.

"Maybe. I don't think I could, though... I don't like being tied down." Blatant lie. But saying, 'If I stay in one place the Daedra will hunt me down and roast me alive, eat me, resurrect me, force feed me cheese, and probably study my inner working in no particular order.' probably wouldn't have gone as well.

Alvor nodded. "I used to be an adventurer like you..." Naruto's eyes widened. Don't. Fucking. Say. It.

"But then I met my wife, Sigrid." the man actually shuddered, before wistfully running his hand through his beard, no doubt remembering his adventurer days.

Stroking his beard again. It's a tic that denotes heavy thinking, probably planning. Wait... No. Bad thoughts. You aren't allowed to be complicated. He sighed. At least he didn't say it.

Naruto shook his head, forcing the thoughts away. He was slowly regaining his late Shinobi mindset. Probably from all of the recent stress... He shot a look at Alvor. Another cause of stress. He'd spent the previous 4 hours learning how to smith. Not leather. He learned how to smith a damn dagger. That hadn't been what he'd agreed to... He glanced back at the man.

No doubt, I can take him out quickly... But... He scares the living shit out of me.

Naruto's ears flattened again as he stood up and tried to creep away. A hand grabbed his shoulder. Nope. Not getting away. Fuck.

"Where are you going? We're not done yet. We still have more to go over." the man said, grinning from ear to ear. Naruto swore that the blonde Nord had it out for him.

"Excellent! You can make enough weapons for me to pass you in that regard. Now onto armor." Alvor said. It had been 2 days. Two fucking days in hell, if hell was making weapons that nobody wanted, at least. Naruto, though, was at least satisfied with finally getting what he wanted out of the man. Weapons were great... And he at least had a shit ton of iron daggers to throw at people... But still... He shivered as he felt the clothes he was wearing... They were Borrowed. For all he knew, it could have come from some random dead guy... Seriously. Maybe he was over-thinking it... He just liked knowing where things came from.

"Yes! Finally! Why the hell did we spend two days going over weapons?"

"You have to start somewhere. Even light armor has metal pieces to it, and those are even more complex than a simple dagger. I started you at the lowest level, and you worked your way up. So congratulations. You officially possess half the knowledge that most of the residents of Skyrim possess."

Naruto blanched. No wonder he'd been getting a bunch of laughing visitors to see him.

"So... How do you make armor?" Naruto asked. Alvor grinned.

"It's simple."

He saw the mischievous glint this time. He saw it in the man's eyes. Naruto saw his own future pain in the man's eyes. He gulped.

The blonde shinobi held an ice pack against his head, as he glared daggers at the sheepishly laughing man.

"That was not simple. That was the dumbest thing I've ever done. Why did you persuade me to do that?" Naruto asked, nursing the pitchfork shaped burn on his forehead. Yes. Pitchfork.

"I'm sorry! I never thought you'd fall for-"

"DON'T TALK ABOUT IT!" Naruto shouted, effectively cutting him off. Alvor chuckled again, as he lifted the newly crafted Leather armor. He wouldn't admit it, but it was good quality for someone who'd only been smithing for 4 days. Although there were some oddities in the design, Alvor chalked it up as preference. It wasn't as good as something he would have made, of course, but he certainly had a few pieces of armor like it in his stock. So it was passable in his opinion. Alvor cleared his throat loudly, catching Naruto's attention.

"Well then, Lad... I say you should head up to Whiterun. Not much for an Adventurer to do here, but I'm sure you can find something to do. Maybe... Try your hand at bounty hunting?"

Naruto blinked at the man. Was he already done? Naruto shrugged. Bounty hunting, huh? I guess I can give that a go. Money is money... Even if it's looted from a corpse. He shuddered again.

"Yeah... I'll do that. Erm... Thanks." Naruto said as he picked up his new leather armor. As he strapped the pieces on, he felt a little bit awkward. This really was armor... He wasn't used to wearing armor, just resilient clothes. Receiving a slight nod from from the older man that he had actually put it on correctly, Naruto gave a slight bow.

"I'll see you around, Alvor. Thanks again." He gave a halfhearted wave as he headed back towards the Tavern. Alvor gave a hellish grin before getting back to his work.

Naruto rolled over in the uncomfortable straw bed as he heard a rooster crow. Funny... I haven't seen any roosters in years... Yet I always hear them. Naruto rubbed his weary eyes and stood up, facing the nightstand where his freshly made armor sat. He studied it closely.

The helmet was something he was forced to make, but he still didn't want to wear it. He'd reached a compromise by fashioning something similar to his old ninja headband. The metal plate was blank, maybe for future use, or maybe not... He wasn't sure.

Next were the Bracers. They were simple bracers, perfect for catching a dull blade or a blunt weapon. Underneath, he wore fingerless gloves. The gloves were simple wool gloves from some kind of animal... A blackish color, almost dusty grey.

The boots were heavily modified, much like the headpiece. Since he preferred mobility over defense, he'd cut away some of the armor on the ankles, leaving long strips of leather that held it to the leather wrapped, metal shinguards. The sole of the boots were a harder leather that would probably wear down with time.

The chestpiece though, was Naruto's pride and joy. The shoulders bore a light pauldron with the Uzumaki spiral engraved on it's iron surface. The front had multiple layers of leather that overlapped, giving it an almost scaly look, although not quite. Naruto turned over the chestpiece, studying the buckles that wound their way up the spine. They were in an awkward place, and he sort of regretted placing them there, but he admitted they added a bit of flair to it. The leggings were a similar style, as Naruto made a few too many buckles while practicing.

After putting it on, he admired himself in a small mirror on the dresser. He looked pretty intimidating, which he had been aiming for. He was proud of his work, that was for sure.

Naruto yawned and looked out the window. It was barely dawn. He cursed the existence of roosters as he left the room, strapping his bow to his back and placing all of his daggers into his weapon pouch on his hip. His steel dagger was left in a sheath on his chest, while the axe was on his other hip.

He sat down at the bar, eyeing the Bartender with an inquisitive look.

"So... You have any bounties that need to be taken care of?" he asked, popping the joints in his neck with a relieved sigh.

The Bartender nodded quietly, pulling out a slightly wrinkled sheet of paper.

"Yer in luck, lad." The old bartender said. Naruto cringed when the Bartender said lad. He was much older than everyone currently alive... "The Jarl's men dropped this off last night." He slid the paper over to him with a lazy movement of his hand.

Naruto studied it. Thankfully, it was complete with a crude map.

"Kill the Bandit leader at Silent Moon's Camp... Sounds simple enough. Where do I go to get my septims when I'm done?" he asked. The bartender didn't give any inclination of hearing him, as he continued to clean an old mug.

"Go speak to Proventus Avenicci when you finish... He'll reward you." the old man said. Naruto nodded his head and got up off the stool. "Good luck, Khajiit."

"I'm not a Khajiit..." Naruto uselessly muttered as he left the Tavern.

Naruto sighed as he walked along the river. The crude map drawn on the bounty used Whiterun as a point of reference, which annoyed him to no end. He didn't know where Whiterun was-

"Oh. There it is." he muttered. At least 5 kilometers north. So... He looked down at the crude map in his hands.

I need to head northeast... Simple enough, I guess.

The blonde sighed. He wished he had Hiraishin or even chakra. In this so called, "New Body" he was weaker than he could imagine. He felt weak without his normal abilities. Chakra made life easier. He at least had a Lighting spell to use on people... Where could he get more of those books, anyways? It didn't seem like he could just walk up to someone and buy one... Like buying one in a general store of all things. He laughed aloud. Like that would happen.

Probably an hour into his trek, Naruto finally came to a halt. He looked down at his map. Then back up. It looked about right. In front of him stood a series of ruins with many tents laying about. About nine bandits walked around the camp, all of them looking like they were doing something of importance... Probably going through their loot. Naruto glanced up at the sun. It was almost midday, so he'd probably be spotted right away... Oh well. He ran straight into the middle of the camp.

"Alright, Bandits! Where is your leader?" he shouted. The bandits all jumped to their feet, scrambling for weapons. Some of them jeered at him.

"Leader? What do you want with him, cat?" someone shouted. Naruto turned around, his tail swishing angrily.

"Ok, who said that?" Naruto asked. The group surrounding him stayed silent. Naruto dramatically shrugged his shoulders in fake annoyance. He was probably going to kill them all anyways. Too bad.

Naruto's right hand flicked out towards a bandit, lodging a knife in his throat. The man reflexively put his hand to his throat as his eyes widened. He tried to say something, but all that came out of his mouth was blood. Lots and lots of blood. He couldn't breathe. Panicked and desperate, the bandit did what he assumed was appropriate of someone who couldn't breathe. He removed the offending object. Like a river, the blood freely flowed from the man's throat, splattering loudly on the rocky terrain. The bandit collapsed with the same stricken look in his eyes.

Eight.

The formerly animate bandit's comrades exchanged looks of fear, before steeling their nerves. As one, they charged with the intent to remove his head from his shoulders. Naruto ducked under an axe, before stepping into the owner's guard. Stupid people tended to overextended themselves way too much. He jerked her arm forward, and pulled her close, shoving his steel dagger into her sternum. He turned around quickly and used the woman's body as a shield as a Two-Handed swordsman slashed at him.

Seven.

Naruto's ears twitched in alarmas he let go of the corpse and used it as a spring board to push off. Three arrows impacted in front of him as he rolled backwards. Coming out of his roll into a crouched position, Naruto analyzed his current situation. Three archers. 1 mage. The rest are close range.

Naruto's hands were suddenly alight with electricity at his mental command. He pushed a combined spell towards his closest threat. The man could do nothing as his body was assailed by electricity. The bandit collapsed with the giant Two-Handed weapon still clutched in his hands. He gave a final twitch as his life extinguished.

Six.

A bandit wielding a mace and a shield rushed at him with an enraged battle cry. The mace possessed an odd aura, not unlike a spell. So it's enchanted, eh? I can't be hit by that. Long range it is. I wonder how you do that, anyways...

Naruto pulled his bow over his shoulder and started backpedaling. He was aware that he, for lack of better words, sucked with the bow. But... He didn't feel like wasting daggers. He notched an iron arrow and let it fly. Luckily, his hasty shot was able to nick the bandit's shoulder, although that was far from enough to stop him. Naruto ducked under a swipe of the glowing blue mace with a side roll and notched another arrow from below the man. He drew the string back as far as he could, before letting it fly with a crazed grin. But before he release it, he was rocketed backwards by another force. He was enveloped in a torrent of flames that stung his skin. From the combined heat and pressure, Naruto's bow snapped in his hands. Naruto out of the heat and tossed away the remains. The blonde shot a glare at the nearby mage, before looking at the destroyed bow. Stupid idea, anyways.

The heavily armored bandit rushed through the flames, unbothered by the scorching heat. Naruto cursed. Why didn't he go for the mage first? Naruto ducked under another swipe of the mace, before being hit by an unexpected shield bash. Naruto roared in annoyance as he used the hooked end of his axe to jerk his opponent's shield away, before blasting his face with electricity. That bandit's head whipped backwards as electricity coursed through his brain.

Five.

Naruto hissed in pain as he felt an axe slash across his back. Although the offending weapon seemed to be too dull to penetrate his light armoring, it still hurt. Naruto spun into a roundhouse kick to the bandit's masked face before following it up with a quick slash of his own axe. His axe clashed against his opponent's, and both weapons flew away. Naruto's right twitched in annoyance. This was supposed to be much easier than how it was going. Stupid fucking Daedra. Stupid fucking dragons. Stupid fucking bandits. Naruto quickly grabbed the front of the bandit's armor, pulled his dagger from it's sheath and dragged it across the man's neck. Before he could flick the blood away, the sound of a charging spell caught his attention.

Four.

He jumped backwards just as a weak fireball scorched the earth where he'd previously stood. Naruto turned his red eyes towards the mage with a wicked grin.

With his next priority set, Naruto dashed to the annoying mage. The dagger flashed as he let out a flurry of strikes, but each one rebounded off of the Mage's clothing. Really? His clothes? He's wearing a robe! Naruto blinked as the mage pulled out... An iron dagger to fight him. Wow... That was dumb. Naruto slashed at the mage's chest, but once again, his swipe bounced off.

"Gah! Damnit!" He shouted. "Why don't you die?"

The mage didn't answer, most likely because he was too busy trying to not die. Naruto kicked the man in the chest, and followed up with a spinning slash with his Dagger. The mage let out a pained shout as the dagger flew across his face, leaving a large red gash across his right eye. Naruto followed up with a stab to the chest, before turning to the remaining archers.

Three.

Naruto knew this would be difficult and aggravating, as the archers were going to keep him at a distance, not charge him directly. The blonde dashed to the nearest one, who seemed to be the most stocked with arrows. With a flying leap, Naruto landed a heavy axe kick against the woman's chest, pushing her back by ten feet. She crashed into a tent, falling through the canvas. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, Naruto shot a bolt of lighting at her, frying her where she was lying.

Two.

Naruto glanced at the two remaining archers. One was out of arrows, and the other was firing on him with reckless abandon, although the aim was atrocious. Not that Naruto could talk, as he was even worse. The one with no arrows wielded a shabby looking iron sword. Naruto charged him first with his steel dagger. The bandit blocked his first strike, but the second struck him in the arm. Naruto took advantage of the man's pain and slipped his dagger between his victim's ribs. Archers shouldn't resort to melee combat...

One.

Naruto swore as he jumped back in order to dodge an arrow. He grabbed one of his throwaway daggers and flicked it at the Bandit. The bandit followed the dagger as it whizzed by him, that was a bad mistake. With his opponent's split-second distraction, Naruto charged. Within seconds, he'd regained a large amount of distance between him and the bandit. The bandit pulled back on the arrow.

Shhhhhft!

Naruto grunted as the arrow lodged itself into his shoulder. That was going to hurt in the morning. But he pushed through the pain, as he raked the dagger across the man's throat.

Naruto grunted as he jerked the arrow out of his shoulder. Well... Now he had to figure out which one was the leader...

Final Note: Please review this chapter. I don't care if you say, "Wow, this is cool!" or actually give me a decent review. Also, the question of the day is: Do you plan on playing Elder Scrolls Online, and if so, what race do you plan on playing?