Thank you to those of you that reviewed; I'm glad to know I'm going in the right direction.

This will be a slightly more serious chapter, since it involves asking some of the parents about Naruto. This is by no means an idealized story; just because the kids like him doesn't mean the parents automatically let go of their grudge. It wouldn't mean anything if Naruto didn't have to fight for every scrap of respect. We'll get there, just not now.

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Awkward Moments

"Please pass the rice bowl Sakura."

"Yes mother."

"So Sakura, how is training going?"

"Well. Kakashi-sensei is still missing in action but we've taken to meeting with the other teams and sparing against them. Its good practice to go up against other ninja techniques."

"That's good Sakura but really; that 'Kakashi' instructor of yours should be more responsible."

Sakura took a moment to recalibrate her brain so that it would accept the words 'Kakashi' and 'responsible' in the same sentence.

"I think I should have a talk with this man. I mean really."

There were many times in her life when Sakura was thankful for plain old civilian parents.

This was not one of them.

Mr. and Mr. Haruno had never actually met Hatake Kakashi for one very important reason: he was insane.

Ninja were people who were taught from a very young age to fight and kill the enemy, so it was understandable that the ones that managed to survive to adulthood a little screwy. The ninja in Konoha tended to be a bit better trained and survive a bit longer, so it was also understandable that they were that much weirder once they reached adulthood.

Hell all you had to do is take a look at Maito Gai and enough said.

As a member of team seven she knew deep in her heart that Kakashi-sensei was equally psychotic, he just wasn't as loud about it. Taking him to meet Topou and Kioko Haruno, the two most ordinary people in Konoha, was not an idea she even wanted to contemplate. She had told them a little about him since he was her jounin instructor. It was a very carefully watered down version that, under no circumstances, included porn or perversion. If they happened pass the legendary copy-nin on the street, they wouldn't know it.

And now her mother wanted to give him 'a stern talking to' about 'being lax with the training schedule'. If they only knew.

"Really mother, it's alright. He had to get some work done at the administration building and I needed more live combat practice anyway."

Her mother gave her a dubious look.

"All right honey, if you insist." Then she changed topics.

Disaster averted.

"So how's that teammate of yours; the Uchiha. He's quite a handsome fellow."

Her mother attempted to give her a saucy wink and even though no one else, not even her father, saw it, she was mortified.

Out of the frying pan, into the raging inferno of parental embarrassment.

"Mom! He and I aren't like that. Sasuke, Naruto, and I are a team."

The teasing sparkle in her mother's eyes immediately went out with the mention of Naruto. She never really talked about him so she didn't notice it before now, but this time she was looking for the reaction.

What anyone could have against Naruto was a mystery. He was the most hyperactive, annoying person she had ever met but what would that matter to her parents?

Probably caught in one of his pranks; that idiot has hit everyone in the village with a paint balloon at some point or another. MORON!!

She smiled to herself as inner-Sakura started ranting again. She never admitted it out loud but she thought the pranks Naruto used to pull on the townspeople and local shinobi were hilarious. Even if she 'hated' him at the time, it doesn't take a genius to recognize another.

Maybe 'genius' isn't the right word when talking about Naruto, but he had some good ideas. And that mascara on the Fourth Hokage: beautifully applied. That man would make a decent looking transvestite!

. . .Oh no; sensei's perversion has finally gotten to me!

Mortally crippling horror consumed her.

Her parents looked on, a little disturbed, as their daughter suddenly started hitting her head against the dinner table.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Dinner at the Aburame house was a quiet affair. Usually.

Dinner with Kiba, however, was not.

Hinata had gotten permission to have dinner at the clan's house in the interest of 'forming bonds between two noble families' or some such nonsense. Since Kiba's 'secret crush' on the young Hyuuga was about as secret as Naruto's crush on Sakura had been, Shino did not so much as bat an eyebrow when the boy followed them to his house like an overgrown puppy.

Not that he would anyway; Shino never moved unless he could absolutely help it. He was lazier than Shikamaru but, like Kakashi, not as loud about it. Talking, for example, required the movement of dozens of facial muscles so why bother carrying on ridiculous conversations about weather and girls and different breeds of dog. Love Kiba like a brother, just don't want to have to listen to him.

He had picked up the whole quiet and mysterious reputation by complete accident and he couldn't be bothered to explain to people why they were wrong (or even just tell them that they were 'troublesome').

They arrived at the gate and one of his cousins waved him in.

"Hey Shino! Just got in a major new shipment of peaches from the south; enough to last the week!"

Shino was particularly exited by this news, so he went so far as to slightly nod his head.

When they finally reached his house they went right into the dining room, where his mom was busy cracking open a barrel of them.

Since the members of the Aburame clan were essentially half person, half bug, they found that they needed to compromise between the two diets early on. Rancid meat was a favorite for a lot of the bugs they housed but it was not exactly 'human friendly'. Similarly, cooked food was simply not an option for insects. Essential nutrients and energy were lost during the process so they ended up having to eat even more than the Amikichi just to keep up with the required glucose intake. And besides, the first members of the clan were really bad cooks.

So what's the middle ground? What food group had lots of sugar and was loved by both the human and insect race? Fruit.

Fruit salad, fruit pies, fruit parfait; such was the rigorous training diet of the mighty Aburame. The deepest darkest secret of the ancient clan was that any member would do almost anything for a strawberry; one of those nice big juicy ones the size your nose.

Peaches were a close second.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Just when Kakashi thought his day couldn't get any worse, it did.

"What's that you got there?"

Three of the jounin froze at the voice coming from a person behind them; from a person none of them sensed sneaking up because they were all too busy reeling from the disappointment of a completely censored genin file.

Gai, the fourth jounin, screamed like a little girl and shot into the air.

This is not a figure of speech. The downside of being an incredibly strong taijutsu master is that sometimes your body responded instinctively to danger without your brain's permission.

These responses are typically both embarrassing and extreme over-reactions, as evidenced by Gai, whose head had gone clean through the roof. His shoulders were too wide to fit through two closely spaced support beams, so he was essentially stuck and, ironically, much more vulnerable to attack than he had been a second ago.

The three ninja who were not currently stuck in the ceiling turned slowly to come face to face with the Hokage herself, who was looking at the censored pages with mild interest.

". . .genin evaluations."

"Ah yes, about that. Turns out we're just going to scrap them. Nothing really important about decade old genin files anyway."

She made a few quick hand seals and the jounin watched as the one solid lead on the enigma that was Umino Iruka's past, as well as any work that they had managed to get done over the five days they had been imprisoned there, go up in flames.

One of them made a small squeaking sound; like someone stepping on a mouse with high heels.

"I thought there were fourteen files," Tsunade said as she watched them turn to ash. "I'm only counting thirteen."

Kakashi was once again the first to recover.

". . . there might have been a small desk fire."

Gai took the opportunity to finish pulling his head out of the ceiling and landed back down on Kakashi's right side. He seemed oblivious to the fact that the small pile of dust and rubble that had been loosened fell on top of him and his comrades.

"Hokage-sama! Have you come to Free Us Poor Souls from the Tortuous Prison of the Archival Office of DOOM?!"

His hopeful smile of joy went 'Ping!'

She looked at him blankly for a moment before turning back to the other three.

"The desk and ceiling repairs are coming out of the next paycheck; get back to training your teams, they've been running all over the place."

She glared for good measure, as if it was their fault that they hadn't shown up of the last week of meetings. As if they hadn't been locked away in their worse nightmare; forced to consume –

"Hey." She said as her eyes caught on something. "What's with the half eaten ninja ration?"

This proved to be Asuma's undoing.

As Kurenai tried to explain why the Sarutobi was barfing all over her shoes, Kakashi and Gai slowly inched towards the door and ducked out.

They were Honorable Shinobi of the Leaf; valuing the lives of their friends and fellow villagers above all else. But no way in hell were they sticking around for this one.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"That reminds me. I've been meaning to ask you guys about something."

"Yes dear?"

"Have you ever heard of an Uzumaki clan? Or maybe a family named Uzumaki? It's not like it's a common name."

Her parents exchanged a quick glance as the room seemed to suddenly flood with tension.

"No," her father answered her tersely before turning back to his dinner.

"You sure? You seemed to know Naruto from before the Academy."

They had warned her against making friends with the boy; that he was a 'no good troublemaker'. The first day of class, when he decided to rig the chalk to blow up in their teacher's face, had only re-enforced her decision to stay away.

Iruka-sensei had turned beet red and yelled at him for five straight minutes but she remembered seeing them later, eating together at a local ramen stand so she figured he wasn't all that angry.

Her mother and father across from her stiffened.

"Yes."

It was clear that the conversation was over.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

"Rumor has it you released the prisoners."

"Aa. Tsunade decided that she wanted someone keeping an eye on you guys more than she wanted 'a bunch of old papers organized and color-coded'."

"We can take care of ourselves."

Iruka snorted.

"Maybe the others can, but you need someone with you to yell at you when you start doing something stupid."

"No I don't."

"On Thursday you knocked yourself out in the middle of the forest and we had to send out a search party."

"I needed to practice my head-but. How else was I supposed to do that?"

"You could try not fracturing you skull against a particularly well built gingko tree."

"Eh, it's not like I have any brain cells to loose anyway," grinned Naruto.

Iruka just heaved an exasperated sigh.

"Let's just grab some ramen; I'll try to explain the whole concept of 'self preservation' after dinner."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Hinata; would you like another apple?"

"H-hai, Kiba-kun."

Hinata reached for the proffered apple and bit into it. Shino was silently packing away peaches on her left and across from her, his dad was engaging Kiba in a long debate about various tracking techniques. They had started talking from personal experience which had led to the retrieval mission, where both nin-dogs and nin-bugs had been seriously hampered by the rain.

Hinata was nervous.

While Kiba was a patient and caring teammate, he sometimes forgot to include everyone in a conversation once he got going.

She had been one of the ninja who stayed behind; the team had not needed two byakugan users and Neji was still a far better fighter than she. She spent the entire day terrified out of her mind that her childhood hero would not return and when he came back through the gates at dawn with Sasuke, she was overwhelmed with both relief that they were alive and guilt for ever doubting that Naruto wouldn't keep his word.

Her mother (still alive before the birth of Hanabi) once told her that she had good eyes. It was not just the byakugan bloodline but something deeper; more instinctual. Hinata would notice little details that everyone else would ignore, or see, then quickly forget. People were very good a being blind when they wanted to, but Hinata kept her eyes open, always watching. She watched Naruto a lot since no one else seemed to. She watched him spit on by passing strangers, come in with fading bruises shaped like fingers and fists, she watched as he fought back with smiles and paint balloons.

She admired him.

As she bent and broke under her father's will, he fought with tireless spirit against the vicious hatred of the villagers. And then he looked back at her, cheered for her against the cousin she could not hope to beat, then beat him for her to teach both Hyuuga a lesson about fate. She was timid and kind and in no way fit to be a ninja in the eyes of her father but from then on, she decided that would not bow so easily. Already, she was changing: this week she spared with Neji and held her own.

But the most exiting thing to happen recently by far was the conversation they had earlier today. The others had finally decided to look at Naruto. Now that their eyes were open, he might finally get some of the respect he deserved.

She only hoped that one day she might be as strong and as brave as he is; that one day she'd be able to tell Kiba how much he meant to her.

No! I will get stronger and live everyday for tomorrow; like Naruto has since we were little.

She was so happy to see all his hard work paying finally off; it gave her hope for he own future.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Idakimasu!"

Iruka dug his chopsticks into the warm broth and swirled a few noodles around them.

Naruto, for lack of a better word, inhaled.

A customer further down cautioned, "Careful kid; you could choke!"

Iruka leaned forward around Naruto, gave a friendly smile, and held out his hand.

"Hi. You must be new here. My name is Umino Iruka. Nice to meet you!"

His eyes curved as he held his grin.

"Hitori Dozu." He shot Naruto a confused look. "I don't think he's even breathing!"

"Yeah. Something about 'without ramen, life isn't worth living anyway'." His smile widened. "It's a bit intimidating at first -"

Naruto slammed the bowl down and shouted, "Keep 'Em Coming Teuchi-sama!"

"- but you get used to it," he finished wryly as Naruto started on bowl #2 without breaking a sweat.

"Is he a ninja?"

"Yes. But it's more that he's Naruto than he's a shinobi."

"I see."

The man clearly didn't. Where the hell does it all go?

He turned back to the manager and ordered the chicken flavored one, which seemed like a safe option. The man nodded and turned to his daughter, who informed him that they were all out. He looked confused.

"But Naruto ordered shrimp."

The girl shrugged.

"We're out of that too. Polished off both pots."

The customer's eyes bugged out and turned back to face the blonde kid, who was now surrounded by a pile of empty bowls. Iruka had to lean back behind Naruto to face the chagrined man. He flashed another amused grin.

"Don't worry. They'll have another batch whipped up in no time."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Hinata was going all quiet and introspective and Kiba was starting off on another one of his shamelessly edited versions of an old mission, adding in bandits and a princess to 'spice things up'. Now was the perfect time to ask his father about Naruto's parents.

Aburame Shibi had worked in the Hokage's office fifteen years ago, when he was still a young chuunin. Specifically, he had been put in charge of the census. He would know about Naruto's family, and hopefully tell him what happened them.

"Father."

Shibi turned away from the spectacle that was Inzuka Kiba to face his son.

"Do you know of a family by the name of Uzumaki?"

He gave him a long considering look then answered.

"There is none."

"How -"

"There. Is. None. Uzumaki Naruto has no family. Do not inquire further."

His tone suggested that he disapproved of this line of inquiry, or the subject. What was more, he obviously knew something but refused to tell it to Shino, which irked him to no end. What could he possibly be hiding?

The mystery of Naruto's family sat in the back of his head like an itch that he just couldn't scratch. He knew that this was going to be a pain in the ass; that it would take a while and a lot of help to get to the bottom of this (not to mention all that expended energy). Much to his annoyance, chasing after Naruto's buried past was something that he would just have to do.

Just scratched the tip of the iceberg, but it's already too late to pull out now.

And the way Shibi had worded his response:

"Uzumaki Naruto has no family."

What did that mean?

He would wait until Thursday and hope the others had more luck.

His father faced the loud ninja once more and this time, did not turn back.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Meanwhile, Sasuke was on his own quest for answers. Since he didn't have any parents to bug (thank you very much Itachi) he decided to do what he did best: creep around in the dead of night.

He even had the clothes for it.

Black pantsuit: check. Grappling hook: check. Ultra fine 'soft tread' sandals: check. Cool theme music playing in my head: check.

Being a cat-burglar was not quite as cool as being an avenger, but it was close. And certainly, a lot more fun.

The guards changed shifts and he made his move, sliding like water along the outer edge of the building before scaling a built in ladder. The roof of the archive building was much higher than its surroundings, having been built on a hill. Therefore jumping directly onto it was not a viable option.

He reached the top and checked his watch: 3 minutes.

This is where the grappling hook and chain came in. He would carefully cut a small hole in the roof, between the ancillary support beams, then lower himself down onto the secondary column and -

WHUUMP, BANG, CRASH!!!

Fall through a completely random hole in the roof. What the hell?

He got up slowly, testing his limbs to make sure nothing was broken.

What kind of idiot would punch a hole in the roof and just leave it there?

A very unwelcome voice in the back of his head, the thing he called 'his conscience', decided to make itself known.

True. But then what kind of idiot would accidentally fall through the roof of the building he was trying to break into?

Shut up.

Oh, good one.

Sarcasm practically oozed off the words. He was having an argument with a voice in his head and loosing. This was not a good sign.

You think?

He ignored the remark and looked around himself, half surprised that guards hadn't stormed him to arrest him and/or cart him of to the mental ward.

O.k. It's not exactly going to plan but I can still get the information.

He walked along the rows of filing cabinets until he found "U" then opened up the drawer and started flipping through the files.

Uman, Umeha, Uni, Uudo, Uzumaki.

He pulled it out.

The folder was nothing special; it contained the standard assessment done for all academy students, a signed form that stated that he would not hold his jounin instructor responsible for any injury, emotional trauma, or loss of life, and copies of the mission reports they had handed in. There was even the old paperwork for the chuunin exam shoved in there.

He didn't care about that though. He flipped to the beginning, where the Academy students were required to fill out their background information. The writing on the form was a mix of confused, awkward scribble and precise, neat lettering.

Naruto must have had help filling it out. I wonder who it was, this writing looks familiar.

He set the page aside, eager to find what he came for.

Parents, Parents, Parents. . .

"What the hell?" He frowned.

The space where his parent's names should be was blank. There was a small note:

Refer to file 23-5-11/B, Hokage's office.

Bureaucracy triumphs again.

He was about to close the drawer when a name caught his eye.

Uchiha, Itachi.

Well.

Hmm. Moral dilemma.

He stared at the thick folder for a minute, then grabbed it. This archive was specifically for non-classified information so technically speaking, he wasn't breaking a law.

He was just breaking in.

He gathered up the file, plus the page with a sample of the unknown writing. If he could figure out who it belonged to, he could ask them for some answers. Then he picked up the grappling hook. . . and stared at it.

Then he looked up into the shadows of the vaulted ceiling and reviewed 'the master plan'

Guard change, climb up wall to roof, cut hole, lower self to ground by chain, grab file, climb back up chain. . .

. . .climb back up chain. Yes, that would be it, wouldn't it?

And of course it was just dark enough that he couldn't actually see the hole he fell through.

Well, only one thing for it really.

He climbed on top of the little pile of debris that had fallen with him and started throwing as straight up as he possibly could.

The first attempt was a miss, marked by a heavy clang and bits of white plaster falling down on top of him. The second, third, and fourth try went much the same way.

I suppose it's a good thing I've had so many anger management classes since the Sound debacle. Probably would have had a coronary by now.

As such, he was unaware that he had acquired a somewhat noticeable facial tick instead.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Team seven met up the next day in various states of psychological distress.

Naruto was perfectly fine and in an even better mood than usual. Iruka had taken him out for dinner and they met a man; a villager who didn't normally eat there. It had taken him a couple minutes, but he had recognized the blond boy as the Kyuubi vessel and, after talking to him for a while, seemed to conclude that he wasn't a monster like people said. He even shook Naruto's hand before going home to his family. It wasn't anything really huge in the scheme of things, but it was nice. If I have to sit down with everyone and convince them one by one I will. People seem to get stupider when they're in a mob anyway.

Sakura was still a little disturbed by her parent's reaction to Naruto. They had never hidden something from her; not like this. It frightened her that the two most ordinary villagers in Konoha might harbor that kind of unreasonable hate for a kid; for her friend.

Kakashi himself was harboring a deep and completely reasonable fear of Tsunade. He didn't want to go back to the archive office (torture chamber) and was afraid that if she found any more paperwork that needed doing, he was going to get drafted again (for running away the first time). Hence the full-blown paranoia; he was wound so tightly he couldn't even bear to read Icha Icha Paradise. And that's just wrong.

Sasuke, who had managed to break out of the very same archive office (torture chamber!) around dawn, had trudged home glaring liquid death at anyone and anything that crossed his path. He dropped the files under a floorboard and ran as fast as he could to the bridge, hoping against hope that he would arrive at least before Kakashi-sensei.

Naruto laughed.

"Going for the 'mime' look teme?"

Sasuke looked down at himself. He had not had enough time to shower, just to run into his room and slip on a new set of (black) clothes as he was leaving; he was in such a hurry that he didn't even look at his hands. If he had, he would have noticed that some of the finer plaster dust stuck to his skin and that his hands, along with his legs, face, and hair, were all snow white.

Smooth move genius.

Shut up.