Chapter 4

"Thinking deep thoughts?"

Castiel looked up, only mildly startled to find Bonnie dropping into the seat opposite him. She had singled him out for conversation more and more in the last few weeks but this was the first time she'd come to the table specifically to speak with him. Today her shirt declared Mustaches: like mittens for your lip.

"You've hardly touched your soup today. Not a big fan of split pea?" Bonnie gestured at the bowl in front of him.

He considered the congealing green soup. A few carrot chunks floated near the top like bright orange icebergs. He had already eaten half a dozen spoonfuls, too preoccupied to taste a thing. He had no idea if he was a 'fan' or not.

"Relax. It's not that hard of a question," Bonnie said. She propped her head on one hand and gave him a cockeyed look. "What's up?"

Castiel glanced towards the ceiling before he could stop himself. "I was meditating."

"About?"

"Evil."

Bonnie's eyes went wide before she started to laugh. "That's pretty hardcore for lunchtime." She shook her head. "You're pretty funny, Castiel. Why evil? Why not fluffy kittens or world peace or something?"

"The things I've done… It's too much to ask them for forgiveness yet. But perhaps I can atone in some small measure if I resume my former duties."

When he fell silent again, Bonnie leaned forward. "What duties?"

Castiel looked into her eyes and for a moment he saw Dean in her. The bright eyes tinted with concern. It made his chest ache in that now familiar way. "Fighting evil," Castiel said.

At that, her expression went from mildly concerned to outright stunned. "Fighting evil. Fighting evil how? Like putting-the-bad-guys-behind-bars fighting evil? You were a cop?"

The lie was on his lips but it seemed too much like another sin to Castiel. "Something like that," was all he said.

Bonnie sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. "Castiel the cop," she mused. Then she nodded to herself. "I can kinda see it. You have that bad ass vibe about you even if you do dress like my great uncle Milton. So how are you going to 'fight evil'?" she asked with air quotes.

In his previous stint as nearly human, money had been required. Quite a bit of it. The Winchesters kept a glove compartment full of fake IDs and credit cards. They also had a trunk full of supplies. Castiel had none of those things. "I'm not sure," Castiel admitted after a long pause. "I have no weapons and am not proficient at lying."

"Well, okay then." Bonnie pressed her lips together and tossed him a skeptical look but she didn't question his logic. "First order of business, you need some new clothes. You'll never get a job looking like that."

Castiel looked down at his stained and wrinkled suit. His tie had started to fray at the end. "New clothes," he repeated. Then the rest of her words registered. "A job?"

"Well, yeah. A job. How did you think you were going to make money?"

Castiel thought it best not to answer that question.

Two days later, Bonnie appeared with a lumpy plastic garbage bag in her arms. She pulled Castiel aside before he'd had his soup and pushed the bag into his hands.

"What is this?" Castiel asked. He cast a longing look at the line of people shuffling towards food. Tonight the shelter was serving chicken noodle soup. He'd grown quite fond of the curling noodles in the broth and the way the steam eased his sinuses. He'd been concerned with the increasing difficulty of breathing through his nose for days until Bonnie informed him it was 'a common cold.' Common or not, Castiel disliked it quite a bit. But the soup helped.

"Open it," Bonnie said, calling his attention back from the soup line.

Castiel struggled with the knotted handles for a moment before the bag came open. Inside were clothes folded into slightly messy squares. He looked up expectantly.

"They're for you. For your job hunt," she said, turning a little red when he didn't immediately respond. "It's not much, just some stuff I had around the house. They looked like they should fit." Her gaze fled to the wall and then the floor.

Castiel looked into the bag again with newfound interest. He didn't know his body's clothing size but, when he pulled out a shirt, it appeared to be appropriate. "Thank you."

"So… you like 'em?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Great." Bonnie finally looked him in the eye again. "I figured you might need help finding a job too so I did some looking. Think I found something for you. You're kinda helpless for a full grown man, you know that?"

"I have been told," Castiel said. He couldn't help a tiny frown.

…Because without your power you're basically just a baby in a trench coat.

Bonnie waved a hand in front of his face. "You okay? You looked kinda sad for a second."

"I was just thinking… about someone I used to know."

She nodded in understanding. "Your friends?"

Castiel gathered the bag of clothing in his arms. "I have been told that I must seek forgiveness before God and man to find peace. In this case, I believe God may be the more forgiving one."

"Sounds about right," Bonnie snorted. "But you know what they say. Baby steps. We'll get you a job. Get you back on your feet. Everything will work out. You'll see." She flashed him a brilliant smile.

Castiel looked at her and wondered how she could smile and look so sad at the same time.

Author's Note: And again with the short chapters. I don't know how this keeps happening. But at least Castiel is making progress. I figured he'd had enough time to mope. Time for some action. It also pains me to take him out of his standard white shirt, black suit but it is a little (blood) stained. I don't think anyone would hire him like that. But never fear. I have a great job all picked out. It was inspired by something Misha Collins said in an interview. XD

For the very inquisitive, Bonnie's shirt this time around is also real. I found it on the Mental Floss website. I covet that shirt. A lot. Unfortunately coveting is a sin.