It had been a couple days since that attempt to close the breach; Ava had yet to leave Haven. They said she wasn't a prisoner anymore, but she still felt like one, only now she was shackled by reasonability. The Shems had started some sort of religious movement, and she was trapped in the mind of all of it. Now, there were even things they wanted her to do for them, for this 'inquistion'.
"I don't even know who this 'Andraste' is…." She muttered to herself as she kicked the snow up into the air on her way up to the chantry. At the last minute she turned, she didn't want to go inside, she walked aimlessly climbing over a few ice covered behind the apothecary, to come out on the other side. Taking the difficult way always gave her something to focus on and helped to distract her when her mind wouldn't stop.
"The chosen of Andraste, a blessed hero sent to save us all." Ava jumped a little at the voice, looking up she saw the elvan mage Solas who had helped to seal the breach. A smile curved up at the edges of her mouth, might as well see what kind of person this elf was.
"Am I riding in on a white stead?" She asked a light laugh in her voice.
"I would have suggested a griffon, but sadly they are all extinct." She turned her head to the side as he spoke. Such little emotion, he seemed so removed. Ava walked slowly over to him, watching him carefully. She didn't know anyone here, and didn't know how to react to them. She was testing everyone she met now.
"This is all so strange…" She said quietly as she led on the small stone wall beside Solas. She looked down at her marked hand, there was almost no light coming off of it now, just a small glowing line in the center of her palm.
"Does it bother you?" Solas asked, nodding towards her hand. She smiled and shrugged.
"Not as much since the breach is stable…just sort of a dull heat." Ava let out a long slow sigh. "Honestly this whole 'Herald of Andraste' thing is more, worrisome…" She admitted looking at the ground as she started to kick at the snow again.
"Perhaps it would be best, to think of all this as a war." Solas started, Ava's head snapped up, she didn't think he would answer. "And every great war has it's heroes. I'm just curious what kind you will be." This made Ava's stomach drop out, she looked up at the sky. She did not want to face this, she did not want to be a heroes, or a chosen one, or a saint to a god she didn't believe in. Without another work she turned and left Solas standing by himself.
***
The wind was cold and there was the lightest tingle of frost in the air. Ava stared up at the stars, her eyes traced the shapes of different constellations as she tried to calm her mind. It had been a long day, hell it had been a long week. Sitting on the roof of her quarters she found some peace, finally feeling removed from all the chaos.
"Hey Crafty!? What are you doing up there!?" She heard a rough voice call up to her. She peaked, her head over edge and smiled.
"I might be sleeping…" She said as she quickly jumped down to the dwarf. He was easily her favorite person in Haven. He seemed to understand how difficult all this was for her, but was quick to try and lighten her mood. "Don't really like it in there." She said nodding back to the house they had let her use as her quarters.
"You have some problem with warm feather beds?" He said with a laugh. She sighed deeply.
"The bed is fine…it's the walls…" She said shyly, understanding came over his face then.
"Keep forgetting you're Dalish, Crafty." She nodded a little, a light smile on her face. She lighted the nickname he had come up with for her. Didn't know where he got it, but she knew it fit her. "Haven't been away from your clan too much have you?" He asked as they started to walk up to his small camp fire.
"First time…" She laughed a little. "I don't know if that's insanely good or bad luck…." She muttered, Varric laughed as he sat down.
"I know which I would peg it as." He told her, she gave him a little shove, but a part of her thought he was right.
***
Ava was beyond frustrated staying in Haven, so after speaking to Cassandra and Leliana she decided it was best to head to the Hinterlands and find this 'Mother Giselle'. The journey wasn't a long one, but Ava found the hinterlands a much better place then Haven. The rolling fields and mountains, the warm air and smell of elfroot, it all made the young elf feel at home.
There was no time to enjoy it though, there was too much to be done for the inquisition, and the refugees from this Mage, Templar war. This was one part of the human world that Ava wanted to learn more about though. Magic had never been treated as a treat in her clan, they all knew it could be dangerous of course, but it was a gift not a burden. The humans treated magic like a sin, as if one was less of a person simply for having. She didn't understand it, but she wished to.
After speaking with Mother Giselle, the group set about trying to help the refugees. It seemed that they were short on food, and this was a problem that Ava knew she could solve. She smiled and told the man.
"That, that I can help you with."
"Well there are some Ram's to the east, but the bandits in the area have made hunting impossible." Ava laughed, clearly these people didn't know how to hunt if a few bandits where stopping them.
As the traveled to the east Ava's steps were lighter, she liked having a problem that she knew how to solve, that she could solve. They're where indeed bandits in the area, but having Varric, Cassandra, and Solas meant that they weren't a problem. Once they were cleared out Ava's body language changed. She motioned for the others to stay where they were. She didn't trust them to be quiet enough, Cassandra's armor was loud and clanged every time she stepped, and Varric never shut up.
She stalked low through the tall grass watching for her prey. The area was full of Rams; this was going to be too easy. She lined up her shot and waited a moment; her arrow flew through the air, a quiet whistle and hit the ram in the back of the head, just below the skull, killing it instantly. She darted out waving to the others to come over as well. Placing a hand on the creature's lifeless head she said a soft.
"Ma serannas, Andruil." As the other's arrived at her side., she took out a hunting dagger and started to butcher the creature, draining it's blood and removing the organs, action that she had clearly done a thousand times.
"You thank the gods for your kill?" Solas asked her as she worked.
"Ir abelas, should I not thank the creators?"she asked, a bit of acid in her voice. "They might be sealed, the might not hear me…but." She sighed. "It is how I learned to hunt; shall we just leave it at that?" Now that she had been questioned about it, she didn't know why she did it. Ava had always found the stories of Andruil unsettling, and she had never been sure about her feeling towards that creators, she had never been one of strong faith.
***
Back at Haven Ava found herself feeling trapped again. She missed the hinterlands, no, she missed her clan, she felt out of place here, so many shems. She found herself walking over to where Solas stayed in town. She wanted to asked him about what he had said when they were hunting in the hinterlands.
"Hello." He said nodding to her as she climbed the stairs.
"I wanted to ask you something…" She said slowly, he nodded, giving her permission to ask. "I wanted to know what your opinion of Elvan culture was?"
"I thought you would be more interested in sharing your opinion of Elves culture, you are Dalish after all." Ava's brows knit together in frustration.
"You really have a problem with the Dalish don't you? Are you allergic to Halla or something?" She asked, trying to keep the mood light, but wanting to get answers.
"They are children, acting out stories misheard and repeated wrong a thousand times." Ava was taken back by his answer
"Oh but you know the truth?" She challenged.
"While they pass on stories, mangling details, I walk the fade. I have seen things they have not. He seemed to know a great deal of what he was talking about. She looked to the ground quiet for a moment, not knowing what to say.
"Ir abelas, Hahren."She said softly, "If the Dalish have done you a disservice, I would make that right. What course would you set for them, that is better then what they know now?"
"You are right, of course. The fault is mine, for expecting what the Dalish could never truly accomplish. Ir abelas Da'len, if I can offer any understanding, you have but to ask." Ava's eye twitched at the use of 'Da'lan'.
"Please don't call me that…" She said. "I have a name…" she told him, she had been called a child in her clan, she would not be called a child here as well.
"A name I have yet to learn." Solas pointed out, causing Ava to laugh. That was right, she had never introduced herself, and now everyone seemed to want to call her herald, they didn't seem to care about her name. "Ava." She said with a soft smile. Solas nodded.
"Well do you have any other questions, Ava?"
Ava spent the afternoon with Solas, talking about the elves, and the fade, and spirits and Ava became wrapped up in all of it. She hadn't had a chance to learn these things with her clan, she was not the first, she was not even a magic. All these things where so foreign to her, but perhaps in understanding them maybe she could understand the mark on her hand better.
"So that's why you're here?" Ava said with a laugh. "Hoping to have better dreams by joining the inquisition?" She smiled, based on what he had told her it made sense, the idea just made her smile. "Well I wish you luck!"
"Thank you, in truth I have enjoyed experiencing more of life to find more of the fade." This made Ava smile, while this fade walking he did seemed wonderful she did not think it good to live only in your dreams.
"How so?" She asked, wishing to keep such an interesting conversation going.
"You train to flick a dagger or fire an arrow at its target. The grace with which you move is a pleasing side benefit. You have chosen a path whose steps you do not dislike because it leads to a destination you enjoy. As have I." Ava lifted an eyebrow, a light pink dusting her cheeks.
"So you're suggesting I'm graceful." She said, testing him. Surely he had not meant it that way. He was so cold and removed from everything.
"No, I'm declaring it. It is not a subject for debate." This made Ava blush and she found she had to look away.
"Well…" She said her voice catching in her throat in an uncomfortable way. She did not have much experience with people, and even if he was only saying these things to get a reaction out of her, she hadn't been spoken to like this before. She started to walk away, not sure of what else to say.
"Da'l…. Ava!?" He called to her as she left. She turned a looked, not sure why he would be calling to her. "I have a question for you. If you don't mind, before you leave." Her face still felt warm but she nodded.
"Your Vallaslin… it is Mythal." Ava nodded, taking a step back up towards him.
"Seems a strange choice?" She finished for him. She looked up at the sky, the sun was setting. "I'm a hunter, surely I would have pick Arduil."
"You did thank her when you were hunting the other day."
"Honestly…I think that is more habit then anything. I was taught that that is what you say when you kill an animal at the end of a hunt." She was musing; she didn't want to tell him this. "Arduil…she scared me." She admitted. "her legends where this things fill with blood and death. It seemed as if she hunted…for the joy of it…" She tried to explain. "You hunt because you have to eat, you kill because if you don't you will die. You do not do these things for the sport of it." She was twisting her hands around each other as she spoke. She didn't want to say why she had picked Mythal, why she had not chosen Arduil was easy, it wasn't selfish like her choice of Mythal.
"So, Arduil didn't fit." Solas said, "But why Mythal, there are many others." Ava bit her lip, he really wanted to know.
"It's selfish…it's…" She shook her head. "My mother was a city elf…. I was always sort of on the edge of the clan, only just barely a part of it, a seth'lin." As she said the word she could have sworn she saw something flash in Solas's eyes, something like rage, but it was gone so fast she couldn't be sure if she had truly seen anything. "Mythal was the great protector, the all-mother…." She took a deep breath. "I was hoping…even though she was sealed with the creators, still I had hoped…that by choosing Mythal's vallaslin, that I might find some of the protection." She cast her eyes down to the ground. "A child-ish choice…" She said. She couldn't take it anymore; she gave him her answer so she felt it was time to leave.
She made her way back to her quarters, past Varric's little camp.
"Hey crafty! Want a drink?" He called after her. She didn't respond she was too embrassed by the story she had just told.