A/N: not quite so happy now... this was a very destablizing decision and we shall see how it affected them a few months later...

Thanks to all my readers and reviewers!

The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me

PRESENT:

Most of the guests were already assembled downstairs in the library for pre dinner drinks when Joseph and Clarisse stepped into the room, her arm through his- the trip down had been a silent affair, but once they entered the room, both of them were keen to keep up the facade that all was well in their six month old marriage.

"Joe! Grandma! I was wondering when you two would get here!" Mia teased as she pulled away from the conversation she had been involved in to greet them. "Were you keeping Grandma waiting, Grandpa?"

"More like the other way around," he replied jokingly, his smile warm yet tight, as was Clarisse's when she gently chided him, a slight edge to her voice.

"Now, now dear, I don't want Mia to think we're always going to be late because of me," before looking around the room, she changed the subject. "Ah, there's Sebastian and Sheila... Joseph, why don't you go and get us some drinks... I'll be talking to Sebastian..."

"Fine," he said amiably, disappearing in one direction, Clarisse in the opposite direction, leaving Mia alone and frowning- she had long since had the sense that her grandparents hadn't been getting along for a while, and this seemingly good natured vignette between the two of them had just confirmed her sense again.

Both of them had been keeping up the happy facade fairly well, especially when around the very intuitive maids but Mia, young as she was, had been watching them for the past month and she was starting to get worried. She had yet to discuss her concerns with Charlotte (who was permanently in parliament), Pierre (who had permanently returned to Genovia in early November) or Nicholas, not wanting to seen as interfering, but things didn't improve...

Meanwhile, Joseph was inwardly fuming at Clarisse's brusque 'order' as he headed towards the bar and returned to find her deep in conversation with Sebastian, dismissing him with a nod, enraging him even further.

She was treating him as if he was a servant to order around and as such, he chose to stay awy from her, chatting with other guests as if there was nothing wrong (and he knew that most of the wives of parliamentarians always loved talking to him), until it was time for dinner and he silently escorted her into the dining room and held out her chair for her before, once she was seated, he went to find his place opposite her and Sheila Motez, wornding why and where it had all gone wrong...

0000000

MID OCTOBER

They spent Clarisse's birthday just like Joseph's- the two of them alone in their suite in the mroing, followed by the party that evening, and it was only when they were alone again when Clarisse turned to him with a warm, grateful smile.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For giving me a birthday I've actually enjoyed... it's been a long time since I've really wanted to celebrate and enjoy my birthday..." she paused for a moment, her mind elsewhere. "It's nice to know that I can look forward to them again."

"As long as I'm around, you will always be able to enjoy and celebrate your birthday," he replied, tipping her chin up to look into her eyes for a long moment before kissing her.

"Now, birthday girl, I have one more surprise for you..." he gave her a sly smile, his eyes twinkling meaningfullly and she had only chuckled before slowly, playfully backing into the bedroom, Joseph advancingon her just as slowly and playfully.

He was so convinced that, after her birthday, Clarisse was finally ready to let go of her former role- Mia had been doing well- and spend more time with him, that her quiet announcement three days later was quite a shock to the system.

"You're WHAT?" he stared in disbelief over the dinner table at Clarisse, thankful that they were alone that night, wondering if he had heard her correctly- Clarisse had just informed him that she was accompanying Mia on her first state visit to France. "You are joking, aren't you?"

"No...it's only for five days and while Mia hasn't said anything to me, I think she would feel more comfortable having me with her."

"Have you told her yet?"

"Not yet, I thought I would tell you first... do you mind me going?" she asked almost timidly and Joseph was momentarily torn between telling her that yes, he DID mind her leaving or that it was fine, Mia DID ned her, both of which were true to him.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked finally, deftly avoiding her question, and she smiled at him warmly.

"I would love that... but this is Mia's first trip and it might not look appropriate to have an entourage with her..." she trailed off, hoping he would understand.

Yet it's alright for YOU to go with her, he thought resentfully to himself, hurt that she considered him merely part of the entourage, but instead of pointing that out to her, he swallowed his hurt and anger to to nod briefly at her- he had no choice but to accept she had already made the decision... and made it without him.

"It's alright with me... I'm sure Scott will need me to hold down the fort while he goes with you," before he focused his attention back on his meal, leaving Clarisse somewhat bewildered and surprised at his reaction. He was clearly annoyed about her going but, unlike the many other occasions before they were married when he stood up to her and told her exactly what he thought, this time he simply kept his mouth shut.

"Joseph... I don't have to go," she offered shyly and this time he looked up and smiled.

"Clarisse, it's alright to go... Mia needs you and, as her grandmother, I wouldn't expect anything less from you...it's fine..." he finished sincerely and her fears dissipated somewhat, but she still felt uneasy and she silently vowed that, when she returned, she would slow down and spend more time with him.

The five days apart passed excruciatingly slow for both of them, and while Clarisse was pleased at the way Mia was comporting herself- the French were very impressed with her- she was missing Joseph more than she had expected having forgotten that he had, in the past, always been with her on state trips, and she realized, more than ever, that she needed him with her.

However, she was slightly surprised when she discovered he wasn't at the airport when they arrived back, or in their suite- surely he hadn't been that angry, he had never mentioned it during their nightly phone calls- and she was just about to go out looking for him when he suddenly strode into the room and swept her into his arms for a bear hug.

"Hello sweetheart, I'm so glad you're home!"

"So am I," she said wryly, her anger dissipating as she snuggled into his arms. "I didn't realize how hard it would be to leave... leave you, especially after all that has happened between us..."

"Hopefully you won't need to go away with Mia for a while again?"

"Hopefully not... but if I do, maybe you can come with me?" she looked at him shyly and there was a long silence before he sighed.

"As part of your entourage, or Mia's?"

"What?" she looked confused.

"You didn't want me to accompany you this time," he said slowly, carefully moving away from her. "...As you didn't think Mia needed an entourage... what will your excuse be for taking me next time?"

"I wanted you to come with me this time but..."

"Since it was Mia's first trip, YOU were the only suitable person to go with her and I was to stay home," he finished bitterly, looking away, and there was another long silence before Clarisse dared to ask:

"Are you jealous of Mia, Joseph?" and there was only a slight, split second pause before he glared back at her, his eyes gleaming angrily.

"How can you ask me that? How can you even think that? NO, I am NOT jealous of our granddaughter or that she needs you- I've always been proud of you wanting to make up for the fifteen years you weren't there for her- but I want you to remember that you are also my wife now and I need to have some part in your life, and that includes having time with you and travelling with you when you have to go away..."

"I've never forgotten that I'm your wife," she countered, now beginning to get angry herself- how DARE he criticize her for not being with him all the time or not remembering that they were married! It was almost the only thing she ever thought about, but she still had a duty to her country and Mia and he had to realize that.

"How could you think... how could you feel that... how do you think it makes me feel knowing that you feel that way?"

"Just as badly as when you considered me part of your entourage or being jealous of Mia," he muttered sourly before he sighed and glanced at his watch. "I'm sorry, I need to get back... .Shades needs me for a little longer..."

"How? He was with us!"" Clarisse said sharply, stung at his previous words.

"He'll want to debrief about what happened here as well as what happened while he was with you...I shouldn't be too long, and then..."

"Don't worry about me," she said gaily. "I have to unpack and then I have to go through my notes for Mia... Shall we meet up for dinner, here, about seven thirty?" she inquired and he nodded, briefly, lifting her hand up to his lips (forcing her to realize that he hadn't kissed her properly since entering the room) before hurrying out of the room.

It was only after he left that Clarisse sank into a chair, genuinely shocked at what had transpired between the two of them- she hadn't seriously realized how angry he had been over a simple five day trip to Paris, and now she was wondering how she could repair the damage...

0

Clarisse made sure that she was finished her work and waiting in their suite a little earlier that evening, a table for two set up (Mia hadn't minded that they were having dinner to themselves- in fact, her grandmother suspected that she was relieved to be able to have a quiet dinner with HER other half) and dressed in one of his favourite outfits, hopeful that Joseph's mood this afternoon had been a simple misunderstanding and that he would realize that Mia still needed her and would for some time, but he too DID belong in her life.

However, the time for dinner came and went as Clarisse continued to sit in the lamp lit room, growing ever more apprehensive and even more annoyed that he was acting so childishly about her going to Paris- it wasn't as if he had been bored when she had been gone... and she was beginning to suspect that he was proving that he could return to his old job too, even though he was officially retired.

SHE, at least, was still needed in an advisory capacity and always would be, while he, once Shades took full control of the reins, would only be needed on occasion or during an emergency.

Once the clock chimed eight thirty, and she had only picked at her meal, Clarisse summoned her maids to clean up, deciding to have an early night. They were just about out of the room when Joseph strolled in, the casual way he was walking irritating Clarisse beyond belief.

"Sorry I'm late dear," he said calmly as Clarisse tried to remain calm. "I got caught up downstairs and didn't realize the time."

"Obviously," she replied, tight lipped. "Have you eaten?"

"Just a bite... I hope you didn't wait."

"As a matter of fact, I did... I was expecting...hoping you would be here."

"I am sorry..." before he strode over to the small bar to pour himself a drink. "Drink?"

"No thank you..." before she took a deep breath in. "Joseph, about before..."

"I'm sorry I wasn't at the airport to meet you..."

"It's not about that... it's about me helping Mia... you seemed annoyed..."

"I'm not jealous of you helping her, if that's what you're trying to insinuate... again..." his face turned blank.

"I know that, I don't know why I said it...do you honestly think I don't think about us?"

"It doesn't matter, I was just being silly..."

"It does matter, and you aren't being silly... it hurts me to think that you feel as though you're part of the entourage... you're not!"

"That's how I felt when you told me I shouldn't come with you the first time," he muttered under his breath.

"I didn't mean to... I would have LOVED for you to have come with me, but..."

"I know, I know, Mia didn't need both of us there... and you didn't want people to see me coming with you or know that your husband wants to spend as much time with you as he can... which isn't much, in the current climate."

"That's not true...you have had no idea how much I wanted... needed you with me."

"Needed?" he said sharply. "What for? To hang up your coat? To take your luggage to the bedroom?"

"Oh, stop it!" Clarisse snapped, suddenly fed up. "I DO NOT think of you as part of the servants, you never have been, and if you're that insecure that you feel that way... well, there's not much I can do to convince you otherwise, except to say that I love you and I wanted you to come with you!"

She paused to take a breath as Joseph looked as though he had been slapped.

"Is that what has been bothering you today?"

"No, it's not!"

"Then what is it? What have I done wrong? Or is it really Mia?" she added, needling him and his face turned red as he glared at her.

"Don't you dare bring that up again, Clarisse, for heaven's sake... are you really so blind as to not know what has been really bothering me?"

"I must be... so, why don't you enlighten me? Are you angry that I went to Paris with Mia?"

"In a way... I'm annoyed that you made that decision without consulting me..."

"Oh?" Clarisse suddenly felt relieved yet still annoyed that he was acting so childishly because of something so simple. "Is that why? You weren't consulted in the process?" she added sarcastically.

"I am supposed to be your husband, Clarisse, and I thought that husbands and wives were supposed to consult on decisions!"

"I made a mistake, Joseph, and I'm truly sorry that I didn't consult you... would you have let me go if I had asked?"

"Don't be condescending, Clarisse... I just wanted to be included, that's all."

"Well, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you... I'm sorry that you couldn't come with me... I'm sorry for everything!" she shouted as she stood and headed towards the bedroom door. "Next time I have to go to the bathroom, I'll let you know!"

"As usual, you've taken me completely out of context...I just wouldn't mind being consulted occasionally on decisions that affect both of us," he shouted in response- this wasn't going as well as he thought and Clarisse was simply too blind at the moment to understand why she had hurt him so badly.

"Is your masculine ego threatened if I make all the decisions?" she jeered, not knowing where this was all coming from but she was suddenly furious at the world- at Joseph, for not understanding that she couldn't let go just yet; at Mia, for usurping her role; at parliament, for forcing her to abdicate so soon; and even Rupert, for putting her in this position- if only she hadn't married him, she wouldn't be Queen and want to hold onto a role she had had for over forty years and wanted to let go of desperately so that she could be a woman and a wife, protected and loved by her husband with no worries at all.. "We wouldn't want everyone to think that the woman is more powerful than the man!"

There was a long icy silence after she spoke and Joseph had gone as white as a sheet, before he slowly walked towards her and brushed past her.

"What are you doing? Where are you going?" she sounded hysterical as he emerged seconds later with a change of clothes and his tolietries.

"I'm leaving before we say things that we will regret," he said calmly, pressing his lips against her cheek for a moment before walking towards the door.

"Joseph... please don't go..." her anger suddenly disappeared in a flash as she realized how stupid she had been. "I'm sorry for everything I said, I don't mean to be..."

"Clarisse," he effectively silenced her with a raised hand. "It's just for tonight... we'll talk in the morning..."

"I won't be here most of the morning," she said almost sheepishly, yet defiantly. "I have a session of parliament with Mia, and then I have a meeting in Pyrus..."

"Well...we'll see each other when we see each other then..." he said simply, his eyes shadowed with anger and pain. "Good night, Clarisse."

"Good night, Joseph," she said formally, now gathering the shattered remains of her dignity around her- if he wanted to sleep apart from her, she wasn't going to stop him...