Another long chapter, apologies. Please someone review?
From the next couple of chapters these are memories of Santana's, just to clear up any confusion. Anything in italics is in the past and Santana is remembering them in her comatose state.
P.S. this chapter does contain a violent scene, inferring rape. But the next chapter explains it all.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything to do with it. This is entirely fictional and in no way part of the show Glee. But if I did I would totally rock that show.
Chapter Four: Flashblack
After Cheerios practice on the field where Coach Sylvester had dissed our performance by comparing it to another one of her many experiences, Quinn ran over to me in the gym, smirking and carrying her laptop. She beckoned some more Cheerios, Tanya, Ray-Ray and Becca with just a wave of her hand and we all sat down on the benches. I sat to her left, on a raised edge so I could get a better view of the screen. She put on a performance of man-hands on, singing some pathetic song about her weasley little life. At least she chose an appropriate song; 'On My Own.' She should get used to that, stupid hobbit. I nudged Quinn and said;
"I'm going to scratch my eyes out if I have to sit through that anymore. Write a comment about getting her parents to sell her back, or even better ask her to get sterilized so she won't have to effect anyone else with her anoying voice."
So Quinn did exactly that, with a smirk she started typing; literally everything I had just said. I felt like a bitch when I said it but I was known for being a bitch, I couldn't let down my adoring crowd down could I?
"Right, well now we're done with that." And with that she closed the lid and placed it to her right, pasting on her Queen Bitch face. Something both of us had perfected. Brittany hadn't so much.
Speaking of her I looked around, where was she? I hadn't seen her at all today and it was already second period. I picked up my cell phone from my backpack beside my leg and scrolled down until I saw her name. I clicked the green button and let it ring.
"Ring ring.. ring ring"
It just rang.
"Ring ri... Hello?" A muffled voice answered on the other end.
"Hey Britt? Where you at?" I asked.
"I'm at home San, not feeling to good." I heard a cough in the background, was there someone in the background? No, stupid Tana. She wouldn't lie about being ill.
"Oh, do you want me to come over? I'll come look after you and we'll watch movies all night?" I asked suspiciously, but subtlety was my speciality with Brittany.
"No." She spat back immediately. "I mean, no thank you S. I wouldn't want you catching it. See you tomorrow." And with that she hung up. She didn't even give me a chance to say goodbye. All I heard was the disconneced tone and my phone screen went black as I lowered it from my ear. What the hell just happened?
After a few minutes of staring at my phone, debating whether to ring Britt back or not, Quinn came up to me and tugged my elbow.
"S?" She paused. Waiting for an answer.
"Yeah Q?"
"You alright? You're looking at your phone as if it just insulted your hair or something?" She smiled and let out a little laughter.
"Oh no, I'm good."
"Kay, well hurry up we need to go watch those Nude Erections perform." Once again, she laughed at her own joke.
"Ha. Yeah Q. Let's go watch those losers." I folded my arms across my chest and we both headed towards the auditorium. As we approached the heavy doors, Puck jumped out and smacked my ass. I spun around and narrowed my eyes, he retracted his hand and shoved it into his jean pocket.
"Yes Puckerman?" I questioned, Quinn staring at me with a slight squint. I looked at her and nodded.
Everything alright? She silently said, I could read her expression.
Go ahead, I'll meet you in there. The silent conversation went a long in my head. She turned around and pushed open the double doors, arms dropping to her sides as she glided through.
"Santana what's going on with us? Every since we hooked up you've been ignoring me." Puck asked with an aggressive tone.
"Nothing. Sorry. A lot on my mind. A lot going on." I answered. My palm brushed over my hair, smoothing it down.
"Right okay. Well drop me a call or a text sometime yeah S? Be nice if we could go out again." He winked and shoved his other hand into his pocket, turning around and walking away.
Something inside made me cringe, I felt a shiver run down my limbs. I could feel the bile in my throat rising up. I swallowed hard and pasted on my bitch face. I walked through the doors and accompanied Quinn who was with Coach Sylvester. We sat and as Quinn turned to question me, New Directions came on stage and started singing that awful Journey song. As much as I hated to admit it, the song wasn't that bad. I envied them in a strange way, doing whatever they wanted, not caring about their reputations of being losers. I myself loved singing but I didn't ever let anyone know, only my Church and shower knew. Every special occassion like Christmas or Easter, I helped out the choir.
The next time I saw those losers was during their performance of Push It. Sex crazed virgins pretending they know everything about sex. I was with all the Cheerios. I raised the top right hand corner of my lip, giggling every now and then, pretending like they sucked. But honestly it was taking every single part of me to hold myself back from running up on stage and show them was sex appeal really was, as well as singing my heart out to one of my all time favourite songs. After the performance, I saw a gorgeous blonde bounded over to me, hopping in her step. She was smiling at me, emmiting beauty.
"Hey S! I'm better!" She almost sung it, her voice was that sweet.
"B, good." I smiled and linked pinkies with her. And for the rest of the day we exchanged a few words and the electricity that flowed through my veins every time we touched burned as we walked around the school pinky in pinky. We ran into Quinn and Coach Sylvester as we approached the gym. Coach dragged us into her office and sat us all down. She spoke;
"Right Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Dumb and Q - we have a mission. You three will be my spies. You will infiltrate the greasy chambers of Schuesters hair and give me all the dirt off his deep fat fried hair where all the miniature monkeys slip off due to oil and God knows what else he puts on that thing."
We all nodded, accepting our mission. Q had her bitch face on, so I copied immediately. Britt just sat their with a blank expression on her face - knowing her she hadn't heard anything Coach had just said.
We left and approached Mr Schuester in the choir room. Quinn spoke up.
"We want to audition for Glee." After a quick conversation with Mr Schue, we stood in our positions. Myself to the back left of Quinn and Britt to the back right. Britt and I sang the background vocals as Q took the lead, we danced around her, performing the dance Britt had choreographed an hour before. My God that girl could dance. She was flawless, her body naturally fitted with any beat or rhythm. Her long pale legs moved in a way that seemed disconnected from her body, like they weren't part of her. But she still managed to move with such grace.
Mr Schuester accepted us due to our exceptional talent. The Holy Trinity had succeeded. The Celibacy Club meeting was held after school. All three of us attended and we had to pair up with a balloon. Of course I paired with Puck, the only guy I'd ever had sex with, despite my reputation saying different. The task was to but a balloon between our crotches and keep it there or something. Puck however thought it was be fun to thrust and move his body. The bile that I swallowed earlier made another showing, this time moving further up my throat. It made an appearance at the very back of my throat but I swallowed and it disappeared. I could still feel the acidic taste gurgle at the back of my throat. It was disgusting having him do that, I'm not 100% sure how I managed to sleep with him. I pushed him away and sat down on one of the chairs.
After the CC meeting, Puck caught up with me and prodded me gently in the back. I turned around and narrowed my eyes, putting my bitch face on once again.
"Can I help you?" I asked, raising both my eyebrows, widening my eyes at the same time.
"I really am sorry if I've done anything to you San. I was only fooling around in there," he gestured to the door where man-hands was standing, "it was just for fun. You know, in front of my boys and stuff. But I really do respect you and I was wondering if you wanted to go out on another date. No sex as the dessert, just me and you on a romantic date, the place being your choice." He looked at me with a genuine smile, awaiting an answer.
"Sure Puckerman. Breadstix at 8. Pick me up from Britt's house. I'm going there after." I replied, winking at him as I walked away. I could feel his eyes staring at me as I proceeded down the corridor.
After school me and Britt walked back to her house. She needed help with her Spanish work, and last time she attempted it unattended, she drew sombrero's in the answer boxes. We walked into her house, and dropped our bags at the base of the stairs. Her house wasn't huge, but it was nicely sized. It didn't have the expensive look that most of the houses that were around that area had, but it was so much prettier. It had an air of Brittany about it. Then again it probably should considering she only lived with her mum, who was out 80% of the time either working or sleeping with as many men as she could find. Damn, I am a bitch. We laid on her bed, feet up in the air, knees bent up near the pillows, on our stomachs, arms touching and facing the end of her bed. We had our spanish sheets out as well as a dictionary, with F.R.I.E.N.D.S playing on TV. Every now and then I had to cough or nudge Brittany to stop watching TV and to concentrate on her homework.
"Bretaña vamos!" I said in a raised voice. She looked at me blankly, not knowing what I just said. "Jesús, Cristo, ¿Cómo voy a ayudar si no estás escuchando." I murmured to myself. I saw her lower lip jutted out, I quickly turned my head;
"Sorry Britt. Just a lot on my mind. I shouldn't be taking it out on you."
"I didn't understand anything you just said, but I forgive you." She did the toothy grin again. I smiled back and we carried on doing work.
About 5 minutes later. She rolled over so she was leaning on her elbow and on her side. She tilted her head and stared at me, I shook my head and glanced.
"Jheeze Britt what are you staring at?"
"Something rather beautiful." She answered, as if she knew what I was going to ask. The answer shocked me. I'd never had anyone call me beautiful before. I mean I'd been called hot and sexy, but never beautiful.
"Oh wow, um, thanks B. You're not so bad yourself." I beamed back, smiling at her. Her eyes lit up immediately.
"You really should smile more often you know San. You've got such an amazing smile, it could light up this whole town." She stated as if I already knew. I felt the blood running to my cheeks as I stared at her so I turned away, and picked up the dictionary, flipping through the pages as if I was looking for something.
"Thank you Britt. Now come on, we need to finish before 8. Puck's coming to pick me up." I said. She stayed quiet, studying my face. Her brow furrowed and her lips pouted slightly.
"Oh, so are you two dating now?" She asked.
"I don't know, we're going out for a date so I guess so." I answered innocently.
She was still studying my face, I flickered my eyes towards hers, her blue eyes catching my glance. I couldn't not stare back, her eyes... they were mesmerizing. I instinctively leant in, feeling her hot breath on mine. Our mouths only inches apart. She folded in her bottom lip to bite it and then let it go, licking it on its exit. I mimicked her and I watched her eyes flicker from my eyes to my lips, eyes to my lips. She finally settled on staring at my lips. She leant forward, sending a waft of sweet breath over my face. I closed my eyes after watching her azure-coloured eyes fade away underneath her pale eyelids. I tipped my head to the right and felt her breath on my lips - it was warm and sweet I could hear her heart beating fast, it intertwined with my pounding chest. Our lips were now only millimeters apart. I took a deep breath in a leaned forward, pressing my lips to hers. They tasted so freakin' good, it was unbelievable. Strawberry lip gloss washed over my lips, our mouths moving in rhythm with eachother. Her tongue slowly parted my lips and slipping over my own, she hovered over my bottom lip, running her soft tongue on the inside. I moaned and rolled towards her. She slipped her hands down my back until they settled on my waist. I was now on top of her, even through our Cheerios uniform, I could feel the heat emmiting from our centres between our legs. Our limbs were tangled together, her legs were slightly parted and mine were lying in between. My foot twisted around her shin, and my hands were running through her blonde locks, which she had undone as we laid down. She pushed forward, placing her hand on the small of my back. She rolled me over, hovering over the top of me, placing her palms beside my head. She pulled back and slid down my jawline, kissing my throat. She nipped gently with her teeth and I opened my eyes, I felt my breath speed up and I was suddenly panting. She flicked her head up, staring me straight in the face. For the first time, I felt embarrassed. I was looking into her gorgeous eyes, they saw straight through my own. I felt so vulnerable, but I didn't care. I had always been a locked door, there had always been a safe around my heart - but it didn't matter, not with her. I raised my hand and placed it to the back of her neck, pulling her face down to mine. Her lips pressed to mine once again, where they belonged. They felt like they fitted, like they were made to be pressed against my own, and no-one elses. They molded into each other, just like our bodies did. Which I was now incredibly aware of. Our hipbones touching, our waists melting into each other, our breasts rubbing against each other.
We carried on making out until my phone started buzzing on the side table. I had been ignoring the buzzing for the last 10 minutes, too lost in Brittany and her sweet lady kisses. I leant my arm over and grabbed my phone while my lips were still connected to hers. I answered, letting her lips press to my jugular.
"Hello?"
"S where you at? I've been calling for the last ten minutes. I'm outside Britts house but none of the lights are on?" I leant back staring at the time on my phone, it was 8:05. Shit. And worst of all, we had been making out so intensely for the last hour or two that we hadn't noticed it getting dark. I sat up, Brittany stared at me, confusion on her face. I grabbed my bag and shoved my Spanish work in it. I fluffed up my hair, letting it drape over my shoulder. I had no time to look for my hairband, it was somewhere on the floor after Brittany had removed it earlier.
"Shit, sorry. I'll come out now.. Britts and I were just... playing hide'n'seek." It was the only thing I could come up with that quickly.
"Right, okay. Well come out quick. I need to eat." Puck said. He hung up and I turned to her.
"Britts I gotta go. Sorry, we lost track of time. I'll see you tomorrow yeah?" I asked.
"Yeah sure S." I felt her eyes on me as I walked out of her room. I shut the door behind me, feeling the guilt wash over me. I entered Pucks truck and he leant over to kiss me on the cheek. I flinched but quickly recovered by turning my head. I kissed him on the lips, realising he would have questioned my actions otherwise. He stared back with wide open eyes.
"Oh, a treat S?" He winked and started to drive. I turned my head to look out the window, I stared into the blackness, a spark of light hitting my face with every street lamp that we passed.
Stop Santana. It's just for fun. I know you convinced yourself that you were in love with her, but you're not. Stop being so fucking stupid.
The night ended with myself hopping off of a panting Puck. We were in his room, it felt like a closet but it was big enough to fit a large single bed. I brought the covers up to cover my chest, and held it securely with my left arm. I then leant over to the tiny squared table he used to hide his porno under and to keep his lamp on. I checked the time and it was 11:04am. Wow, it only took him 3 hours to get me into bed. He rolled onto his chest and turned his head;
"Yo San, that was great. What you want to do now?" He winked and slowly slid his hand down his chest, my eyes focusing on the sheet covering his lower body. He was ready for round two by the looks of it, well thats what the sheet that was now a tent.
"Yo no soy un puto conejo." I muttered under my breath and he raised one eyebrow at me.
I quickly checked Facebook on my phone, scrolling to see recent updates when it came I came across something.
Brittany S. Pierce is now in a relationship with Mike Chang.
I literally felt my heart crack, it sounded so loud in my ears I had to turn around to make sure Puck didn't hear. He was smirking at me, still waiting for me for round 2. I felt sick, physically sick. I wretched and Puck immediately sat up.
"Whoah babe you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine. Sorry." I answered, hoping he wouldn't question what made me wretch.
"Kay babe. You coming back over for some more of the Puckmeister Perfection." I hesitated and then crawled back over to his side.
"Sure" and like that we carried on where we left off. Brittany not leaving my mind the whole time.
Why hadn't she told me? I said to myself.
I felt Puck enter me, I groaned and then carried on thinking, I must really not have looked into it. I mean I knew Brittany and Mike were like seeing eachother, but I didn't think it was anything serious.
Why the fuck hadn't she told me? I repeated to myself again. And the worst part is she told Facebook before her best friend? Was she ashamed to tell me? Worried? I felt my heart beating faster and faster, getting angrier and angrier. I suddenly snapped back into reality and realised Puck was still fucking me. I pushed his shoulders and he landed on his back, I then straddled him, hovering over his swollen member, he was begging for it. I liked that I had this control over him. I slowly lowered myself onto him, and started riding - thrusting my hips round and round, up and down. He started moaning loudly, and panting heavily. I tried to get into it, but all I felt was anger. Barely any pleasure. He reached down his rough fingertips to my clit, and pressed on it. I pretended that it felt good and moaned. He was at the end so it was time for me to start my hard core acting. I arched my back as he thrusted up heavily three times, then I lowered my bare chest to press it to his and bit down on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around my back and lifted himself off the bed, thrusting slowly a couple more times and then finished. I got off and took the sheet with me, heading towards his bathroom. I picked up my clothes on the way and got changed quickly. It was 11:37am when I left, leaving Puck panting heavily. The only goodbye being a "see you tomorrow babe" and a wink.
I walked down the street towards my house, passing Britts house on the way. As I passed her drive I felt eyes on me, I snapped up towards her window, which was open, where I saw the curtain blowing in the breeze. I put my head down and carried on walking briskly towards my house. As I did, I heard footsteps behind me. They were heavy and picking up speed. I turned my head glancing behind me to reveal a huge balded man with a puffer jacket on. I jumped, feeling the adrenaline course through my brains as the man carried on following me when I turned down my road. I picked up my pace and quickened my step, hoping I was just being paranoid.
I was about 4 minutes away from my house when I felt the man shadowing me. He grabbed my waist and spun me round, I screamed in horror. But his large hand covered my mouth, muffling the sound. He threw me to the ground near the corner shop alley, and ripped my shirt, splaying the buttons all over the pavement. He reached down to his pants, keeping his emerald green eyes locked on mine, his teeth bared aggressively, and he took out his dick. I took his opportunity to escape as he looked down to admire it, not that there was anything to admire about that thing, I'd seen bigger on Taylor Hoyt in 4th grade. I brought up my knee up, as my hands were trapped under his huge rough hands, and shoved it with force straight into his miniature man. He yelped and fell backwards, I managed to get into a squat before he took his right hand and smashed it into the right side of my eye, causing my head to ring. I fell back to the ground and smacked the other side of my head on the pavement, causing the ring to increase in volume. And with that, I passed out, the unknown man bending over me, breathing alcoholic breath into my face.