New chapter, my friends. We'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far… Thank you with a great big Tarzan yell! See, normally I don't do the yell, but I've got 'Tarzan Boy' stuck in my head… I'm listening to it on my computer right now! Haha! Well… Anyway… peers around at people who're calling me crazy I'm perfectly sane. And the fact that I'm going to format this story a little better will confirm that.

Now onto the first disclaimer I've done since… Since… Right.

We do not own anything (including music, people, or common sense), except us. Feels weird writing that… But I haven't done a self-insert fic in ages, either.

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Chapter Four: Pueblo is for Chainsaw-Wielding Psychos

They went slowly down the stairs, taking one last look at the dead dude on the floor, before going outside to join Leon, who had already started in the direction of the town. They walked along in silence, hearing a faint whining up ahead coming from a white dog with its leg stuck in a bear trap. Leon stopped to free the poor thing, before they headed in.

"What are they doing?" Travis mused aloud, and Leon pulled out his binoculars and peered around the tree.

"Farm work… And… Holy shit… They killed one of the cops!"

"Should we go in?" Vee asked, already knowing that they would anyway.

"We have to find Ashley," Leon said resolutely, "This is going to get nasty. Find someplace to hide, quick."

Vee waved at Travis to follow her, and they snuck around back of the first building, while Leon went right in, receiving quite a reaction from the villagers. The two walked quietly as possible, looking for someplace the villagers wouldn't think to look for weaponless Americans. Travis stopped, and pointed to a woodpile where he could easily keep out of sight, and Vee nodded, moving on. Not far ahead, there was a woman working intently, not paying much attention to the riot nearby. Vee tried to look for a way past her, and ended up drawing her awareness when she accidentally stepped on a small tree branch. The woman in blue yelled, and a couple of other villagers joined her, coming at Vee with their 'weapons of mass farming'. She bolted around the building into the center of town, where more villagers (looking for Leon) were. One of them shouted something in Spanish coming towards her, and she just looked at him, dumbfounded.

"Um… Barbacoa?" she said, pointing to the grilled cop. The villagers didn't seem impressed, so she ran into the nearest building she could find… Unfortunately, that was the house where Leon chooses to hide in the game, but he was nowhere around. Hearing the chainsaw starting up, she ran up the stairs and grabbed the shotgun from the wall, running over by the bed and standing back to the wall. What she wouldn't give for some shooting lessons right now…

She could hear the footsteps coming up the stairs, and the purring of the chainsaw. She had no clue how to use a shotgun, despite her family's collection of rifles and such, and there was no better time to figure it out now. She climbed under the bed, hoping maybe he'd go away so she had a little time, but he didn't. He stopped at the top of the stairs, looking around slowly, and then growling as he gradually came at the bed.

"This is it," she thought. But, to her complete astonishment, the last person she ever expected to see jumped through the window and shot the chainsaw wielding psycho, sending him over the railing and down the stairs with a clatter.

"Well, well. What have we here?" Albert Wesker said, kneeling beside the bed to get a better look at the terrified Vee.

"Oh, God! Please don't kill me!" she said, and he laughed.

"Now, what gave you that idea?"

"Call me old fashioned but that's what most people who are bent over someone and holding a gun to their head do." Vee responded nervously, while looking at Weskers' handgun which had a silencer attached.

"Why don't you come out of there. I'm not going to kill you, that is, until you do something stupid." Wesker said, offering his hand to Vee.

"What do I do? I always had a thing for Wesker. Now I have a chance to touch him. I wonder if I could grab his sunglasses and escape before he could kill me?" Vee thought to herself, finally taking Weskers' hand after a minute.

"What is your purpose for being here?"

"I came to help a friend but then those crazed villagers attacked me."

"These aren't normal villagers" Wesker said, cooly, and went on to talk about the parasites and Saddler. Vee lost interest. She already knew all this from the videogame. She started daydreaming about Wesker and her getting married and slaughtering tons of zombies and villagers for their honeymoon. She was rudely snapped out of her daydream when she heard a chainsaw advancing on them quickly.

"Behind you!" Vee shouted as she raised the shotgun without thinking and fired a round into Dr. Salvador's head, causing him to stumble backwards as well as herself from the recoil. Wesker took this opportunity to punch the chainsaw-wielding freak, sending him flying into the wall. Wesker stood over the "man" and fired five more rounds into his head.

"Let's go, now!" Wesker shouted, leaving Vee with no choice but to follow.

"Leon. Travis. I'm sorry" She thought as she chased after Wesker, a sound of glass breaking behind them.

Travis had heard the shotgun blast and the sound of a chainsaw revving. "Leon." He spoke aloud, only to be greeted with a few phrases in Spanish and a flying axe. He retreated backwards from his hiding place as two parasite infected villagers advanced on him. "Great, just what I need. Herb addicted maniacs." He said with a slightly nervous laugh. He backed up into a tree, tripping on a root. He closed his eyes and prepared for the worst but instead he heard a few grunts and the sound of a wire sliding along the ground. He opened his eyes to a woman in a red dress holding a grappling hook.

"Are you okay?"

"Ada Wong." Travis said, his mouth wide open.

"How do you know me? Who are you?" Ada asked, pointing her gun at Travis.

"It's not like that! I'm friends with Leon. My name's Travis."

"Leon? So you must be one of the charity cases then. Figures, that conscience driven fool." Ada said with a slight smile.

"What are you talking about?" Travis asked, becoming slightly confused. "This never happened in the videogame but then again I'm not in it either."

"Never mind. Can you use a gun?" She asked but before he could respond she threw him a handgun. "Don't die too soon."

"Wait. There's a key on top of that house where that chicken is. It'll open the locked, grey, steel door. Please hurry...for Leon's sake." Travis said as he picked up the handgun.

"Leon's here?" Ada asked, her face filling with emotion.

"Yes. Please go."

Ada gave a nod and ran off towards the building with her grappling hook ready.

"And that's why she's my second favorite character" Travis thought as he returned to his hiding spot, continually examining the handgun.

"How did he know so much?" Ada thought to herself as she shot the grappling hook, propelling her to the top of the building, the chicken flying away and revealing a key. "This must be it" She said as she took the key and jumped down off the building. A villager had come around from the comer and charged at her. Ada shot him in the head and sent him flying with a kick, her heel smashing his head in. She then ran towards the door, fiddling with the key, and finally unlocking it and rushing inside, the door closing on it's own behind her. Strangely, no villagers followed her. "A crazed-villager deflecting, self-closing door...they're a step up from the zombie-proof ones. I should get one."

"Welcome! What are ya buying?" A merchant across the room asked, opening his coat and revealing a endless supply of weapons and ammo.

"Sorry but I don't do busi- is that a TMP?" Ada asked, her face lighting up as if she was struck by lightning. "I always wanted one! I'll take it and a couple of clips with it."

"Sorry strangeh but I don't sell ammo"

"But your coat is filled with it."

"It's just for show. Now if you wouldn't mind moving along, your narcissism is scaring away my freakishly deformed friends."

Ada just gave him the evil eye, taking the TMP, and continued on, walking through the door and then opening the "hidden" compartment in the floor. She jumped down the hole and walked through some of the tunnel, only to be surrounded by four ganados.

"I see we're going to have to do this the hard way." Ada said with a smile, her adrenaline boost kicking in. "I'm always up for a good fight."

Ada took out a flash grenade as the villagers charged her. The flash blinded the four, giving Ada enough time to pull out her new TMP. It took half the clip to kill the freaks. "Not bad for a warm up but you'll have to send more than these losers to beat me." Ada said, admiring her new weapon before turning and running down the tunnel towards the church.

Leon was doing his best to keep the insane, as far as he knew, villagers at bay. He was running low on ammo and they just kept coming. "What are these things?" Leon asked as he shot 3 rounds into the nearest ones' head and ran up to it and kicked it, sending it into the gathering group.

"Leon. Over here!" Travis yelled from the entrance of the village.

Leon ran over to where Travis stood, a look of worry on his face.

"What are you doing? I told you to hide" Leon scolded.

"I know and I'm sorry but we can keep them at bay here. Use your shotgun."

"Shotgun? What shotgun?"

"You didn't get the shotgun? But I heard a shot- Vee!"

The large group had came dangerously close to the two. An axe came flying at Leon who jumped to the side to avoid it.

"Grenade, grenade!" Travis shouted, blindly firing his handgun.

"Where did you get that?" Leon asked.

"Never mind that! Use a grenade!"

Leon dug through his pack and produced a grenade and threw it in the middle of the crowd, the explosion wiping them out. As more approached, a bell rang in the distance that caught the villagers attention, causing them to turn and run off towards the noise.

"Hey where's everyone going?" Leon called out. Travis just gave him a look like he was crazy.

"Where's Vee?" Leon asked.

"I don't know. She went off to find a hiding place but then I heard a chainsaw and a shotgun and assumed it was you."

"First off where did you get that gun?"

"Uh well...you see... I found it. It was lying on the ground."

"It looks American made." Leon said, examining the handgun.

"We need to find Vee" Travis said quickly, changing the subject. Leon just gave a nod. They split up and searched the village, taking money and ammo as they went.

"Hey up here!" Travis called from the two story house, where the shotgun originally was.

"What is it?" Leon asked, running up the stairs with his handgun drawn, noticing the dead body. "Why didn't this one dissolve like the others?"

"I don't know but look an empty shotgun shell. Someone was here." Travis said, handing Leon the empty shell.

"Let's go. We have to find Vee and quickly!" Leon said, becoming more worried by the second not aware that Vee was with Wesker.

Meanwhile…

Wesker walked through the forest somewhere past the farm route in a somewhat casual manner, seeing as there didn't seem to be many villagers around, and the girl he'd found in Pueblo was on the harmless side. She was walking behind him, although not out of his peripheral vision, clutching the shotgun tightly and murmuring 'OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod' incessantly. It was just slightly distracting, 'slightly' being a kinder way of putting it.

"What is wrong with you, girl?" Wesker said gruffly, looking over his shoulder at her.

"I shot that poor guy with the chainsaw…"

"'Poor guy'? He was trying to kill us."

"I know… But I still feel bad about it; they were normal people once, you know… And my name's not 'girl', by the way. It's Vee," she said indignantly.

"Albert Wesker," he said, and she just nodded.

"Pleasure. I guess I should thank you for helping me out… But what were you doing there?" Vee was still a little weirded out by the fact that he was actually there in person, rather than sitting in a chair corresponding with Ada from who-knows-where. Nonetheless, she was secretly thrilled – seeing Wesker up close and personal was fascinating. She could almost picture Martha Stewart popping up just to say 'It's a good thing'.

"Looking for something. But that's hardly any of your concern. You said you were looking for a friend of yours, correct?"

"Yeah… I came over to find a friend who came here on business… I found him, and then we got separated again when the villagers attacked."

"Is this friend of yours, by any chance, named Leon S. Kennedy?"

"Well…" Vee said slowly, "Yeah, actually. How… did you know that?"

"I know a lot of things," he responded, continuing to walk, like nothing had happened.

"Um… You're not going to kill me?" she asked hopefully, beginning to wonder exactly where they were heading.

"Maybe, maybe not. Right now, though, I think you could be useful to me," his slight smile gave her the creeps.

"As what? An expert on how not to go about getting around the Spanish countryside?"

"You'll see. And if you do what I tell you, I'll help you find your friends, under a few conditions." He waved his handgun in her face.

"Okay, okay. You don't have to resort to violence," she said, thinking that it was bound to be better than working on Rockfort. She tried to be in good spirits, as usual, and began to hum a tune to pass the time, but deep down she was concerned about Travis and Leon. She hadn't seen them since the town, and judging from which direction they were heading in, Wesker was more than likely intending to travel through the woods for a while, rather than on any roads or paths. Where the hell were they going?

There was no evidence to suggest that Vee was still in Pueblo, and considering the only corpses belonged to villagers, Travis assumed she may have made it out of there somehow. She was relatively good at making quick decisions, after all, however dangerous. Leon, on the other hand, was somewhat beside himself, acting almost like a mother hen looking for a lost chick… No farm/slang pun intended.

"She'll be alright, Leon. Vee can hold her own till we find her, I'm sure," Travis said, trying to cheer him up.

"I hope so," Leon said quietly, "I'd like to see her go off to college…" He sighed, and took a final glance around the now quiet town. "Maybe she headed for the farm. Come on, let's go take a look."

Leon put one hand on Travis' shoulder, leading him up the path towards the farm, which was, unfortunately, populated by a few more people who didn't seem too thrilled to see them. They were quickly disposed off, Travis managing to maim a villager or two, still trying to get the hang of the handgun Ada had given him during their brief encounter. The farm was still, the remaining farmhands going about their work somewhere in the back. The two crept towards the paddock where two cows were standing, watching them intently. Leon hopped the fence silently, motioning for Travis to follow him. Travis lingered momentarily, staring at the Swiss Brown cow, which appeared to be giving him some kind of fierce look, as much as was possible for a cow, that is. He took a couple steps down along the fence, until he was on the opposite side of the Holstein, and then climbed over, still watching the Swiss tentatively. When he went to walk towards Leon, though, the cow came at him. "Uh-oh!" he said, running for the nearest tree, the Swiss Brown following him. Travis managed to get up the tree where the cow couldn't get to him, although it attempted a couple times.

"Leon, a little help!"

Leon came over, and tried to scare the cow away by firing a couple of shots past it, just for the cow to give him a blank look. Of course, the commotion roused the farmhands from their work, and they started to approach, farming implements in hand. One of them, a guy with a pitchfork, went to impale Leon, but the quick-thinking blond jumped behind the cow and the farmer stabbed his own animal instead. He shouted something in Spanish that probably added up to either "I need a new cow" or "burgers for dinner!", and got shot in the face.

When the farmers had all disintegrated into the dirt, the two went about gathering anything useful (Travis also taking a moment to torment the chickens), and met by an exit, which Travis knew led to the giant bouldery-thingie.

"Nothing," Leon said dismally, "No one except those freaky villagers…"

Travis wanted to say something to encourage Leon to think positively, but he himself had no idea what could have happened to the missing Vee… And at the moment, they could really use her sanguine attitude, considering what was coming up. It didn't seem all that possible that she would have gotten much further than them already, and even if she had, she would more than likely wait for them somewhere.

"I wonder where she is right now," Leon said, looking up at the gloomy sky, like he expected to have some sudden epiphany.

"We'll find her," Travis said. They had to; but where had she gotten off to?

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Yeah… We're tweaking the plot slightly… But it probably would change a little if we were there. This story is pretty fun for me to work on so far, and I must admit, it's interesting getting in Travis' head a bit. Speaking of that, I need to go find the co-author... Ah-hah, here he is righ now! Travis, like to say anything?

Travis: I'd like to thank all the reviewers so far. You're comments make our day.

Yes. Now it's time for my final thought... Huzzah!... That was my final thought, people, seriously.