Girl Of My Dreams: Chapter 3.5 (?)

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, unfortunately

Authors Note: Sorry guys! This chapter was re-uploaded because I noticed a small hole that needed to be fixed! But it's all good now! But yes, here is Rachel's filler! The next chapter should be uploaded tomorrow! :)

Rachel POV

I've been fidgeting with my phone for the past hour, checking every few seconds to see if I've received a new text or missed a call, even though it's clearly on a ringer. For some reason I feel like the contact with the cellular device is what is keeping me sane at this moment, though that feeling is slipping away.

When I returned home after my meeting with Quinn I retreated to the living room and placed the DVD of Funny Girl into the player in order to relax. Even singing 'I'm the Greatest Star' and 'Rollerskate Rag' to the top of my lungs couldn't cheer me up. It seems that I wasn't physically able to watch my favorite movie in the world so I went outside to take a short stroll, perhaps giving me a chance to encounter Quinn and apologize for leaving so abruptly this morning.

I arrived back to my house; my fathers are still out working, as it seems they always are, leaving me alone again, thus, taking me to this very point; me sitting on the couch, staring at my phone as if it'll explode within any second now.

To be frank I expected Quinn to come running after me when I left in the Lima Bean, or at least come to my house for more of an explanation. It's not that I don't appreciate the one I received...It's just my morale slightly went down knowing that Quinn was the one who fixed the vote. Well, along with Santana, but there's still a small piece inside me that wishes that it was my other peers who voted for me, who wished that I deserved to be queen.

I suppose that means Quinn thinks I'm a queen…

Well, if that happens to be the case I'm even more fortunate to becoming Quinn's friend throughout this turbulent journey. She is an amazing girl after all. Considering all that she's been through in her life, though she may have hidden behind a harsh, cold persona for the longest, she really does deserve to be royal compared to me.

Now I really want to text her or give her a call or something… What a horrible person I'd be if I let Quinn go to Yale without me redeeming our now possibly unstable friendship! But…as much as I want to talk to her I can't push myself to type those first few insignificant words. I still believe it would be best if she came to me first.

My patience is running thin I'm afraid. My eyes continuously dart towards my cell phone and minutes of my precious life are slipping away while my fidgeting is only increasing.

I should have stayed in New York. I could have spent a few nights in a hotel, the Four Seasons or Hudson, of course, while preparations for my apartment were being completed. I just had to come back to question Quinn about this trivial little occurrence.

However; the worst part about all of this is that ever since my feet touched Lima I haven't thought about Finn in a meditative perspective once. My ex/on hold fiancé must have heard of my return and yet he hasn't even attempted to contact me. Obviously the same goes for me but I feel that maybe, just maybe, my love doesn't run as deep for Finn as it used to. I'm sure the spark will return once we have our lives situated in a few years but right now I feel absolutely nothing. All my feelings for him have escaped to a different outlet. It's as if I'm hollow inside, only with a beating heart that's dragging me towards Broadway.

My thoughts continue to bring me to my encounter with Quinn this morning. Come to think of it I've only been back for a few days and she's the only Gleek I've spoken to. I should visit Tina and give her some more un-needed words of encouragement tomorrow…

Oh, that reminds me! I returned to the Lima Bean because I dropped my wallet, though mostly empty, in the parking lot when I was rushing into my car. After I retrieved it, thankfully, I saw Kurt and Blaine drive by to an empty parking spot but I tried my best to not draw any attention my way. The last thing I want to do is inadvertently make contact with Kurt, subconsciously rubbing the fact I'm attending NYADA next semester in his face. There are multiple times that I wish he got accepted rather than me, especially considering how much better his audition was…

I really merged off track. Well, as long as I'm not thinking about Quinn, who seems to be my muse these past few days. I just wish she would talk to me already! I can't help but feel there are still some unknown emotions flowing between us and I need to know what they are before I can successfully start my new life.

There's not much I can do about it now, since there's no way I can begin conversation first, not yet at least. Until I hear from someone I'm going to try and focus on Funny Girlnow, which has been on pause for what seems to be the entire last hour. I hope Barbra can forgive me for this!