"Daddy! I love your nose!" Chloe stopped bouncing and ran into my arms as soon as I walked in to the bouncy ice castle. She kissed Jackson's nose. At least he knew one Avery girl was excited to see him.

"Chloworm! I love your cheeks!" He placed a kiss on each of her cheeks. "And your whole entire face!" He started attacking her face with kisses, just to hear those giggles. The worst part of this separation was that he didn't get to hear them every day. "How are you, birthday girl? Are you having so much fun at your party?"

"Yeah! So much, daddy! You are too?"

"I just got here, sweetheart. But yes…I am so glad I'm here with my girl!"

"You will bounce wit me, pwease?" Owen was on bouncy castle duty at the moment, rolling around, little claws all over him.

"Yes, I will bounce with you for a few minutes. But then I want to go see if mommy needs help because I think it's almost time for lunch." Jackson walked with Chloe to the center of the huge bouncy castle.

He might not have had anything to do with planning the party, but he'd made sure April understood what "no budget" meant when he handed over his credit card. It caused a huge fight, but he didn't care. Whatever was going on in his marriage was affecting his daughter very much, and he just wanted her to have the best birthday he could give her. All of his life happiness had been bought. His wife had taught him how to think otherwise, but it wasn't her place to judge him right now.

So he made sure that there was a giant bouncy castle on his credit card bill, and at least three entertainers and tons of food and desserts and a rented icy maker and anything a little girl could want at "Frozen" themed party. He even begged Meredith Grey to let April use her backyard. He and April could never find a house that felt like a "happy medium" for them. So they hardly ever talked about it, and then the cheating happened. So now April and Chloe lived in the family apartment and Jackson was renting another one a few blocks away.

"I've never done this before, teach me Chlo!" He began lowering her from his arms, but she grabbed his neck and held tightly.

She shook her head against his chest. "No, no, no! You can jus' jump wit you Chloworm in you arms, daddy!"

April and Jackson's separation was informal. It had technically been in effect for two months now, but she was really struggling with what she wanted. After they'd slept together about a month ago, April insisted they turn to their therapist for strict trial separation rules. Before that, she'd made it seem like she just needed space, but was committed to the marriage. Now there was a "hall pass" in play, but neither of them had the intention of using it. And they both jumped down Dr. Crowe's throat when he suggested only speaking about Chloe's schedule. That was ridiculous, and would hurt their child. They weren't going to pretend they were strangers. But it was clear Chloe was getting hurt anyway.

Jackson hadn't seen his daughter in four days because of work. Chloe's words were innocent, but they hit him hard.

"Ok, worm…just you and me jumping right here for a few minutes. Just me and you princess. But then in a few minutes we're gonna go play over in the circle with Veronica and Sophia and Bailey and Blake, OK? Daddy missed you too, so much Chlo. But we're gonna have so much time to play because your coming to daddy's house later and we have three whole days to play and play before you start school. Right now all your friends are here for your birthday and I want you to play with them."

"You can play too, dad!" And he did. He bounced right over to the circle in the middle of the castle and joined right in, tickling Chloe so she would hardly realize he was putting her down, and being sure to let her know when he left to go find April.

"I love your eyes mama!" he said, trying the old family game when he entered Meredith's kitchen, where she and April were preparing to bring food outside.

"I love your arms!" April shot back, without missing a beat, throwing a huge bowl of Caesar salad into them.

So she was not feeling friendly today, Jackson noted as he carried the bowl outside.

"Ouch," Meredith gave him a sympathetic glance when she caught up to him, holding a tray of French fries.

French fries, pizza and tacos. That's what his little girl wanted to eat on her birthday; and you only turn three once, so that's what she got.

Jackson shrugged at Meredith. He preferred keeping his private life private, but that was impossible at Grey-Sloan. Plus, everyone loved Chloe, it was better for her not to fake anything anyway. "A bad day, I guess, whatever."

"Chlo has been asking for you since they got here to set up this morning, Maybe that's it?" But they were doctors. They had crazy schedules. Jackson didn't think April would begrudge Chloe for missing him, especially on her birthday. In their sessions every week, their daughter was one of the easiest topics to discuss.

"Don't know. I just kind of roll with the punches these days."

"Yeah but Jackson…that's not fair to you. She what? Doesn't want to be with you but doesn't want you with anyone else? That's not fair. You can't live like that."

"I cheated on her, Mer! That's not fair. And I don't want to live without her so thank you, for letting us use your yard, I really appreciate it. But today's not about me, or what I'm doing. It's about my daughter."

She should've taken the pregnancy test the day after Chloe's birthday, not the day before. Sitting outside watching princess story time with Elsa and Anna, she was still in shock.

She was pregnant with her husband's baby. Her husband, who was by far the best father she could ever dream of for her kids. Her husband, whom she still loved, no matter how hard she was trying not to. Yet, she'd never felt happy when she got a positive pregnancy test result.

April loved her daughter, but she'd gotten pregnant during what she thought would be the most difficult time in her marriage. When she saw "pregnant" on the screen, she felt fear. At least Jackson was there to hold her an assure her that everything would be alright, then.

Yesterday, she'd taken the test alone and puked right afterward. Then she wiped the tears from her eyes, woke up Chloe, and took her to the park like it was any other day. She just pretended it was any other day.

Now, sitting there watching Jackson in a king's crown, helping the princesses read their stories because Chloe wouldn't have it any other way, April was second guessing her choice not to tell him she was pregnant. There was no question it was his. He was a wonderful father. But she didn't want the pregnancy to be the only reason she chose to fight for her marriage. She knew once Jackson found out, it would be a lot easier for him to convince her to stay. She wanted to choose him for herself. And she was choosing him for now. But she was afraid it might be because she was terrified of being alone.

"April, c'mon, what's wrong? We said we were going to try today for Chlo. You've been avoiding me all day. We've never been this way around her." The day was almost over. They were cleaning up the backyard a little bit and getting ready for Cake and presents inside.

Jackson had been trying to catch April's eye all day. Through lunch, and story time and arts and crafts. Not to flirt or even share a private smile. He'd been trying because Chloe had been glued to his side all day, and he caught her watching April. He simply wanted to share a smile with his estranged wife so that their daughter could relax and enjoy her day. But April was tense, so Chloe was tense. It wasn't fair.

"Nothing's wrong, Jackson, just moving these chairs back in the den so we can do cake and presents." She rolled her eyes and whisked past him with a chair. But he grabbed a matching chair and followed her.

"You've never been this…cold April."

"So are you done then? Calling the lawyers because I'm mad today? I signed everything you wanted Jackson, even without a cheating clause….ha! How Ironic…" She put her chair down and started to leave.

"April…wait." Jackson grabbed her shoulder and pulled her to him, so they were basically nose-to-nose. "It's our girl's birthday…the first one she really knows what's happening." April nodded, tears in her eyes. "It's cake and presents…just push through, OK? I haven't seen you smile all day. That means Chlo hasn't."

"Whose fault is that?" she looked away quickly.

"Yours, April," he remained calm. "We've been doing this three months. And it's complicated. I know. I'm sorry…." He was always saying that lately. "But we've had good days. And you are never like this in front of her. Your mood today? It's your choice.

If only he knew. But she wasn't going to tell him. "Why didn't you lie to me, Jackson? I love you and…I want to be happy. It's not fair." She let him wipe tears from her eyes, but pulled away before he could really kiss her. "Rules."

"Just the rules?" April shrugged, biting her lip. No physical contact was a big rule for Dr. Crowe. If they didn't physically and emotionally separate as much as possible, they would never know how it felt to actually live apart. April in particular, would never figure out if she could be happy without him. But neither of them was fully committed either way at this point. "We break rules." Jackson whispered.

"You break rules," she shot back, but he slipped his hand under her dress and she didn't pull away.

April closed her eyes and gave in to her husband's touch. It felt so right, so familiar. His touch felt fine. But his kisses….his kisses slowly began to suffocate her. She wanted pleasure. Affection was not what she was going for. "Stop kissing me!"

He listened. But as she came he whispered in her ear, "I love you." And he lost her completely.

"Thank you," April said, pulling her dress down and clearing her throat awkwardly. She backed away, toward the door.

"No kissing? 'Thank you?' Was that business for you, April? Should I send you a bill?" He aimed to hurt her just as much as she'd hurt him. She narrowed her eyes and walked out of the room, silent.

Forget seven minutes in heaven, that was 10 minutes in hell. Jackson wished he'd stayed away. He'd only wanted to try and make the end of the day better for Chloe, but he'd just made everything so much worse.

"Chloworm, open presents with Mama, OK? I'm gonna go help Aunt Mer clean up and then we're gonna go to my house, remember? Pick out some toys to bring back." Jackson kissed Chloe and turned for the kitchen, but she pulled on his arm.

"No! Both of you!" April had ended the party right after cake, not able to bear all the people anymore. But they couldn't make Chloe wait to open presents or split up her pile, and April didn't want to miss watching her daughter tear open her presents by herself for the first time. So Chloe was going to open them before she left. Jackson had kept his gifts for her at his apartment anyway, so he knew he'd get to see it happen.

"Chlo!" Jackson sighed, spying April in the den, already reading the cards and making a list. No need to make the three-year-old do the boring stuff.

"Go!" Meredith urged through gritted teeth., stepping out of the kitchen with a plate and dishtowel in hand. "She sees everything," the whispers continued. "We both know that!"

Jackson knew Meredith was right. He might not remember the words that were said, but he remembered the screams. At least to his knowledge Chloe had only witnessed awkward, tense civility before today. Her birthday. The one day of the year that was supposed to be happy.

She had some fun in between watching her parents, but she was different today. Their girl was usually sweet, no matter what was going on. Birthday or not, it was not in her nature to be bossy or impatient, and Jackson had seen a lot of that today. He clearly wasn't shielding her as well as he'd hoped to.

"Alright, alright….I'm coming."

"I think mama and Chlo should share another a piece of cake while we open presents, what do you say, birthday girl?" Chloe nodded and climbed into her mothers lap to eat cake, but she shook her head when her dad tried to sit on the couch across the room.

"No! Daddy, sit right there and give me presents!" She pointed to some empty floor space behind her line of presents. Her mother had sorted it by the order she opened the cards.

"Hey Chloe, what do you say when you ask someone to do something?" Jackson asked. April was busy eating cake.

"Uh….nothin'."

"Oh nothing? So you want me to tell Aunt Mer to throw these all in the garbage then?"

"No! No! Pwease no! Pwease sit close to me daddy."

"That's better, thank you."

April just fed Chloe a bite of cake. "Do mama a favor, show me everything you get so I can write it down and you can write thank you's with dad."

"Oh, that's me?" He eyed her.

She shrugged. "It would be helpful if you got it done. Because she starts school when I have her and she'll forget to be excited by her party eventually." In fact, it had turned into a day both her parents would rather forget.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Be happy!" Chloe screamed, ripping open her last present. In between fake exclamations of excitement as she opened gifts her parents had been having monotone "discussions" about the week. April never trusted Jackson with nap time or healthy meals.

"What sweetie? We are so happy that Heather got you a princess tea set. I think that should go to daddy's house, right? We already have a tea set at mommy's." April tried to recover. But this was not her best day at all, parenting-wise or otherwise.

"Carla sayed happy mommies an' daddies live agether." Chloe whispered to the floor.

April and Jackson eyed each other, panicked. "Worm, you make me and mama so happy sweetie." It was weak and Jackson knew it.

"When we be agether, mama daddy, an' Chloe? Two houses is not fair!"

"We might not be in the same house right now, but you know what me and daddy will always do together?" They smiled and nodded at each other and their daughter's eyes filled with gleeful panic.

"TICKLE ATTACK!" Chloe's parents screamed and immediately launched at her from both sides. Crisis averted, for now.