Chapter 4

Five days, that's how long it took for her to start feeling guilty. Five days of writing out pros and cons lists, five days of research and thinking, and five days of turning off her emotions to be as objective as possible. At the end of it she was left feeling a little like dirt. If there was one thing Chloe Decker was, besides highly logical, it was fair to everyone no matter what. According to Dan it was one of her bigger failings, especially when it caused her to fight for people he didn't feel deserved her efforts. What she'd said to Lucifer hadn't been a lie but she'd definitely been exaggerating his failings as she knew them based on the legends about him. That and she'd ignored the growth he'd done over the last few months. Lucifer was wild, selfish, violent, and completely amoral at times, but he also had it in him to be something else. Someone she'd seen glimpses of, someone who actually cared or, rather, was slowly but surely learning to. Really, now that her shock had passed she found herself surprisingly remembering more good than bad. He was a decent person deep down, really deep down at times, he just needed help being that person. Hell, he'd even come to cook for her because he thought she was upset about their case and she'd all but jumped down his throat.

Now he was completely ignoring her.

She sighed as she threw a folder down onto her desk and dropped into her chair. Not only was she dealing with her guilt but now she was also dealing with missing evidence. She opened the department's database and began organizing the officers who'd worked the warehouse crime scene. She was going to find out who took that radio. It was a key piece of evidence that could prove who in the LAPD had been working with the human traffickers. As it was all six of the officers who were supposed to have been patrolling the warehouse on any given night were on administrative leave pending IA investigations. The press were also having a field day with this case and her lieutenant didn't want to lose all the good will Lucifer had been able to garner for her. So she'd given her enthusiastic approval to question whoever she needed to and to figure out what was going on. As she typed she glanced up briefly when Dan walked over to her with a worried smile.

"So she gave the ok?" He asked as he picked up the file to look it over.

Chloe glanced at him, "it's pretty clear to her we have at least one dirty cop. If they can be found under her watch it would be a big boost to her public approval. Too bad that key was a bust, it would give us another angle to work from."

"Well it was sitting in that tunnel for months," he said with a shrug, "it was a longshot at best, you had to know that. Do you honestly think our shooter was involved in this though?"

"Possibly, or there's more than one, maybe a ring of them," she said making her voice sound thoughtful. She wanted to float the idea to him without actually admitting it's what she knew. Malcolm's warning still ringing through her head.

The way Dan's eyes widened and his face paled was a little odd at first but then he glanced around quickly before turning back to her. "Don't do this Chloe, they're two separate things. Don't start a witch hunt, people will never forgive you for that."

"Yeah, I know that, it was just a theory and not even my leading one" she lied with a sigh as she sat back. She wasn't going to trust him with this then, not if if was going to be Palmetto all over again. They'd just started to be civil to one another and Dan seemed to be really trying with Trixie. Until she had proof she wasn't going to put the tentative repairs they'd made to their marriage to the test. Then she smiled at him, "thanks for helping out with all of this. I know I've become public enemy number one again with this case."

"Hey," he grasped her shoulder firmly and the look on his face was encouraging, "I know we saw differently in the Palmetto thing but you do know you can always count on me."

"I know," she nodded at him, and forced the look on her face to be grateful. It wasn't the truth but if a lie could pull her fractured life back together she'd lie through her teeth. If there was a very Lucifer sounding voice in the back of her head warning her about lies she ignored it.

"By the way," he said looking around curiously, "I haven't seen Hellboy around recently, he done playing police officer finally?"

"No," she muttered, feeling awkward as she looked back at her computer, "he's been busy the last few days, he'll be back."

"Of course he will," Dan groused and for a moment she would almost say he was jealous, which was patently ridiculous. She and Lucifer weren't like that and Dan had no room to stand on that score, he's the one that ruined their marriage. He left her alone after that and she spent the next few hours compiling her interview list but before she could start her suddenly lonely feeling task she was interrupted again.

"Where is he?!" She jumped as Maze slammed her hand down on the desk and Chloe pushed her chair away instinctively to look at the furious woman.

Several people around the room looked over and she gestured them away. The move caught Maze's attention and she snorted in derision before standing straight again. She wasn't being overtly threatening anymore but she knew better than to relax, "Excuse me?"

"Lucifer!" She snapped, her voice quieter now, "He went to your house and I haven't seen him since!"

"He's missing?" She asked as she sat up straighter. She knew he'd been ignoring her but not that he'd disappeared completely.

"Yes!" She threw her hands up, "He hasn't been using his credit card, hasn't returned my calls and he's blocking me! All I can sense is that he's alive but not where he is!"

Sense him? Chloe swallowed that information for later contemplation as she realized that Maze must also be a supernatural being. She had said she'd followed Lucifer through the gates of hell, it was off-putting to realize she'd meant that literally. That Lucifer's ninja bartender was also a demon who very much didn't like her.

"Well I haven't seen him since then," she looked back at her computer awkwardly, "We got into a fight and I thought he was pouting about it. I didn't realize he'd actually disappeared."

"So it was your fault," she snapped and the look in her eyes was lethal. "of course it was, what am I saying. You've been destroying him for months! Of course this is your fault!"

"I'm sorry? I've been what?" She stood up to be on even footing with the other woman. Though she did have enough sense to keep her voice down, "Outside of our fight I haven't done anything to him!"

"You've changed him," Maze sneered, spitting the words like they were poison, "He used to be glorious! Now he's so human and emotional, it's pathetic-disgusting! If the denizens of Hell could see him now, they'd tear him apart."

"He's disgusting because he cares?" She asked, feeling deeply disturbed by what she was hearing. This was the kind of person Lucifer found himself surrounded by? No wonder he acted the way he did, why he viewed people and emotions with equal part disdain and confusion.

"Of course it is! He's the Devil! He destroys and tortures without a thought or at least he used to before you!" she snarled, her tone more than implying she found Chloe to be both stupid and a serious problem. "And don't think our side is the only one that's noticed. Why do you think daddy sent his brother down here? The heavens want the old Lucifer back in hell more than I do but he refuses to leave because of you!"

"Now, hold on," she snapped, angry herself now. Was this the kind of pressure he'd been subjected to? If it was then a lot about him suddenly made a whole lot more sense, "Lucifer left hell over five years ago and according to him it was because he got tired of playing the eternal bad guy you're so obsessed with-"

"It was a phase until you-"

"Or maybe he's just not the person you and everyone else are trying to force him to be!" she actually snarled, surprising herself at the surety with which she said those words. When had she become so sure of the Devil's feelings? How did she know if anything he'd said to her was true? It could have all been a con and she glanced around as hesitancy overcame her. They'd kept their voices low enough that no one could hear them but from the corner of her eye she could see Dan coming their way quickly.

"I've known him for thousands of years, years you pathetic scrap of mortals waste," she hissed and for a moment her face looked grotesque, her mouth misshapen and twisted. It made Chloe jump as Dan reached them, his eyes worried. "You'll never know him like I do!"

"Hey," Dan said, his voice stern and both women looked at him flatly. "I suggest either ending this or taking it into an interview room."

"No need, I've said all I need to," Maze snorted and stormed away from the both of them.

"What the hell was that?!"

She chuckled weakly at his choice of words, "You know, I'm not really sure. Thanks for the assist though."

"Your welcome, I happen to know how crazy she can be." he looked over toward the direction Maze had stormed off and she raised an eyebrow when he looked back, "You had me get their books from her remember?"

Comprehension crossed her face and she nodded as she gestured him away, "Alright fine, that's done, go on. I need to continue with actual work."

"Can I help?" he asked brightly, "Maybe interview some suspects for you?"

"Right," her eyes hardened, "And Trixie is going to pick herself up? 'Cause, you know, it's Monday. As in your night to take her."

His eyes widened and he stuttered an apology before he turned and fled back in the direction of his desk. She shook her head a little as she watched him flee, he'd been doing so well. Chloe paused as she went back to her computer and looked at her list of suspects, then she grumbled as she pulled out her phone and opened the browser. Several years ago a hacker CI had given her access to a site he'd created to track down the GPS in a phone, mostly so she'd stop calling him every time she needed to find someone without a warrant. All it took was knowing the number and bam, she had the last known, or current location of a phone.

The Ritz Carlton in San Francisco.

Chloe frowned as she looked at the map, she'd sent him running almost four hundred miles away. The she groaned as she looked at a clock, it was two in the afternoon. If she left now she could get there and back before roughly two in the morning depending on traffic and how much she was willing to speed. Perfect, she grumbled incoherently as she stood and walked into her lieutenant's office. It didn't take her long to get the rest of the day off, especially once she mentioned it was Lucifer who needed her help.

The long drive gave her the time she needed to think and fit all the new pieces she'd gotten into the Lucifer shaped puzzle in her mind. It was a relief to know she really hadn't been imagining the changes in him and that they weren't an act for her benefit. Of course Maze could have been lying for him but that seemed excessive and almost counter-productive. Maze had been livid and Chloe had a feeling that if they'd been alone the demon would have been violent too. Then of course there was the references she'd made to heaven wanting him back to his old self and profession. That hadn't been a lie either, not when Lucifer had made reference to it and she'd seen the way his brother, who was an angel apparently, had talked about it. She scowled at the highway in front of her. She was sure, no matter how Lucifer tried to spin it, that the split between he and his father had been more his fault than his dad's. However, she found it hard to believe that a father as loving and forgiving as God was supposed to be would force his son to go back to a place he despised to be a reviled torturer of the damned now. When he'd first fallen and been a complete asshole she could see it from a punishment standpoint but not now when he was willing and trying to be a better person. As a parent, she couldn't imagine doing that to her daughter no matter what she'd done in the past. She'd lived the life of a parent trying to turn you into something you weren't with her mother, though Penelope Decker hadn't been that bad, and she related to him on a level she never had before. Suddenly all his resentment and bitterness, his clearly deep seated daddy issues, made even more sense.

The sun was just setting when she pulled up to the hotel, the longer hours of summer starting to set in as spring began. She ignored the valet, flashing her badge so that he'd let her park her own car in the hotel garage, and headed into the opulent hotel. Inside she ignored all the finery and headed straight for the check-in desk.

"Good afternoon," the man behind the counter said, his smile forced as he looked at her rather cheap work clothes. She often bought the cheapest, though best looking, clothes she could. Only an idiot would spend money they didn't have on designer clothing in her line of work. "How can I help you?"

"I'm Detective Chloe Decker with the LAPD," she said her voice authoritative and the man's expression changed from forced respect to actual in a second. "I'd like to speak to your manager if I could."

"Of course," the man said as he grabbed the desk phone, "What should I say is the reason?"

"Possible identity fraud, the victim of which has been reported missing," she half lied smoothly. Technically Maze had reported Lucifer as missing and she really wasn't sure if he was here or just his phone.

That brought the manager down quickly and it didn't take her long to convince him to show her to the room Lucifer was staying in against the hotels privacy policy. Not when he'd rented out the Presidential suite at eight thousand dollars a night for the last five nights. Honestly, the man went through hundred dollars bills like people with colds went through tissues. It no longer confused her how his club always pulled in a loss when doing taxes. He was spending his money frivolously as soon as it came through the door. Though even knowing all of that, nothing could have truly prepared her for what was in that room.

It looked like something out of a porno or even an ancient Roman orgy. Men and women were laid out in various states of undress all over the place. Food platters and empty alcohol bottles were just as prevalent and she sighed heavily, he was definitely here. Carefully she picked her way through the suite, the manager standing horrified in the doorway, and into the bedroom. It was where she knew she'd find him buried under a mass of people. A part of her felt disgusted and annoyed by all of this but mostly she just felt bad. She had no illusions, this particular breakdown was because she'd yelled at him when he'd actually been doing something thoughtful. He'd been getting better and she'd sent him on a bender by yelling at him about things he clearly wasn't equipped to deal with, yet.

She made a sad sound as she shook his shoulder, "Lucifer get up."

He was awake almost instantly but his eyes had a hazy quality to them, drugs, definitely drugs, "Hmm Wha - Oh - Detective? Well hello there, come to join the fun?"

"No Lucifer, I'm here to bring you home," she said gently as she hesitantly pushed the woman laying on top of him to the side. Could you get a venereal from touching someone? In this mess she had the feeling she could, "Come on, get up."

"Home? Ha," he snapped his eyes looking focused and somehow not at the same time as he refused to move. "I'm not allowed there anymore and everyone hates me anyway."

It took her a moment to realize what he meant, and her heart actually broke a little at the despair he couldn't quite hide completely, "I didn't mean Heaven Lucifer, I meant LA."

"Of course, of course," he waved her off and tried to cuddle with the body beside him. It was clear he wanted to go back to sleep, she couldn't allow that, and she knew he was planning on being stubborn.

Carefully she made her way to the bathroom, there were people in there too, and grabbed a large glass from the counter. It was filled with some kind of alcohol so she dumped it out and ran the water as cold as she could get it before filling it up again. On her way back she caught sight of the ice bucket and smiled at the half melted contents she found before adding her water to the mix.

"Bleeding Hell!" he cried as he bounded off the bed almost instantaneously, dripping and naked. His bed mates in varying degrees of consciousness also moved away from the ice water attack. Though she quickly checked the pulse of the one who didn't and was relieved to find it steady. "The Fuck?!"

She looked over to find him glaring, that he was cursing was a bad sign, "I told you. I'm here to bring you home, now get dressed we're leaving."

He looked floored, "how dare-"

"Oh simmer down hell boy," she snapped as she shoved the bucket she used into his shocked hands. "You've been on a five day bender, I think that's long enough and Maze is worried."

"Well she can bloody well stay worried," he snapped as he glared at her, that dangerous red light beginning to build in his eyes. "She works for me, not the other way around."

She let out a frustrated breath, her hands on her hips, as she took another look around the room, "Lucifer what exactly were you trying to do here?"

"I was having fun!" he snapped, his eyes narrowed, almost daring her to judge him. "Not something you'd understand I'm sure."

"Trying to have fun or lose yourself?" she asked eyeing him and he shifted a little. "Look, Lucifer, I'm sorry -"

"Well you bloody well should be!" he growled, the set of his shoulders rigid, "Busting in here and ordering me about like you have some kind of right -"

"Not about the wake up," she said, calmly cutting off his rant. "You more than deserve that and you know it. I meant about Thursday morning."

He blinked at her, any anger he'd been feeling seemingly gone, "W-What?"

"I was upset and I took it out on you. While you do have a bad tendency to play with people, along with being a selfish asshole, it's nowhere near as bad as I tried to make it out to be," she folded her arms across her chest as he stared at her. "I'm sorry I hurt you, it was wrong and I shouldn't have done it."

For a moment he stared at her like he'd never seen her before and then he shook himself with a scoff, she could see that he felt awkward, "I'm fine, you didn't hurt me."

"Ok then," she said trying to ignore the fact that he was still standing there naked. "How about you get dressed and we head home, alright?"

"Or," a lecherous smile slid across his lips as he moved closer to her, almost as if he wanted to crowd her backward onto the bed, and no way in hell was she touching that thing, "We could stay and have a bit of fun together. What do you say detective?"

She smiled coyly as she moved in closer to him, her mouth inches from his, and his eyebrows shot up as he bit his lip. As she spoke she made sure to give her voice a seductive edge she knew would drive him crazy, "I'd rather stick my hand in acid than touch any surface in this room, including you."

"Tease," he groaned as she leaned back and for a second his head followed hers then he sighed. "someday I'm just going to grab you and kiss you when you do that. "

She snorted, as she pulled further away from him, "you may be sex crazed but you're not stupid."

"I'm also terrible at resisting temptation," he said lowly as he licked his lip, searing gaze looking her up and down. She tried to hide the shudder that caused but she knew he caught it, if the way his eyebrows shot up with interest was any indication. Time to deflect.

"Yeah, sure, your funeral. Now get dressed I'll be by the door...as it is I've probably got four or five new diseases just from breathing the air," she brushed by him and he made a small groan that went straight to her gut when she pushed past his shoulder. "Come out into the hall when you're ready."

"Yes dear," he called sarcastically as she left and something about the endearment made her heart feel light. What was wrong with her?

She picked her way back to the front door and as she moved she grabbed two unopened bottles of water off a counter and pulled her sunglasses out of her pocket. While the light was quickly fading she had a feeling it was still going to be too much for him when he came out of the dark interior room. She was proven right as he walked toward her, a seemingly permanent wince on his face. With a pale face, messy hair, and haphazardly rumpled clothing the normally impeccable man looked the mess she knew he was internally and it made that deep seated caring part of her want to reach out to him. Without a word she handed him the water and her sunglasses. He stared at the offered items with an unreadable expression before his gaze switched to her eyes and he quietly thanked her as he took them. She nodded as he shoved the glasses on his face and turned back to the hotel manager.

"I was wrong, it is him," she said to the man who still looked like he didn't know what to do with himself. She didn't blame him, he was going to have to get a hazmat team in here to clean these rooms, "Put everything including the tow for his car on the card he used."

"Hey now, I don't need a tow I'm fit to drive," he groused and before he could react she shoved his shoulder. She was pleased that his stumble seemed to surprise even him and she caught his arm to stabilize him before he hit the ground. Then she kept her grip, ignoring his whining, and used it to tow him out of the room to the elevator that was still waiting for them. Apparently eight thousand dollars a night got you a private one.

"So tell me," she said folding her arms and leaning back against the wall once the door slid closed, "how does the Devil get drunk and high exactly?"

"They can affect me if I want them too," he sighed as he took a long drink of water, pouting at his disheveled appearance in the reflective doors. "Problem is once I do that I can't will away the side effects if I indulge too much. Bit of a catch dear old dad put in there."

"So God will let an Angel get drunk stupid if they want to," she said with a smirk, "But you get to deal with the hangover afterwards like the rest of us? I like that, teaches responsibility."

"You would," he grumbled and he rubbed his forehead tiredly. The fact that he didn't pick up on they way she talked about his family like it wasn't a delusion surprised her.

For a moment she wondered if she should just come out and tell him she'd finally accepted who he really was but her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She had so many questions about, well, everything but she just couldn't ask them, not now. For one, he was likely to talk about things he wouldn't if he knew she believed him. In that way she might be able to suss out the truth if this really was all a con. Second, well, right now their relationship was in a comfortable place. They talked, joked, and sometimes even flirted but there was a definite line there. He was her friend and she didn't want to ruin that with things she knew neither of them were ready for, if they'd ever be ready considering she was working on her marriage, and her wanting to still be around him knowing the truth would make him push. He knew her, he'd want to know why she was ok with it, why she stayed if she truly knew and she'd be honest with him. Or maybe she was reading way too much into this and he wouldn't care. Fact of the matter was she didn't know and she was being a coward.

She glanced over at him and stiffened, she may not be able to see his eyes but she could feel the calculating way he was watching her, "How did you find me?"

"When Maze came to the station, and yes you should apologize, she mentioned you hadn't used any of the credit cards she knew of." She shrugged, "So I used other methods I'm not going to tell you about in case you do this again."

"Oh," he snorted and his voice turned snarky, "Planning on pulling me out of many parties in the future then, mother?"

"Parties, no," she quirked her mouth as a phrase occurred to her and she couldn't help herself, "but the hell holes you throw yourself into because you can't deal with basic human emotions, yeah I'm going to do that."

His eyes may have been hidden by the shades but his mouth curled into the semblance of a smile, "Oh, and why is that Detective?".

"Because I'm your friend and that's what friends do," she answered and if that wasn't the complete truth she wasn't going to admit it, not now, going there with him now would only end in heartbreak. Then she paused and sighed, "You know, just call me Chloe would ya? It's getting kinda weird having someone I consider a good friend call me by my rank."

He started and she was gratified that she'd been able to shock him, not that it was apparently hard for her, "Why detec-Chloe I do believe I'm wearing you down at last."

"Wearing me down?" she thought about it and then shook her head. "Nah, if you were wearing me down I wouldn't call you a complete tool when you are one. I just happen to see enough good in you that I'm willing to put up with the bad is all."

The elevator doors dinged open and she walked out into the garage, leaving him shell shocked in the cab behind her. Finally, when she noticed she was alone, she turned back and called for him. It seemed to snap him out of his daze and he ran after her but, before she could turn, he grabbed her arm, "What do you mean by that?"

She raised a confused eyebrow at him then dropped it. Right, their argument, she had a feeling she was going to be dealing with the fallout from her freak out for some time to come, "It means what you think it means, Lucifer. Not saying you're a saint or anything, 'cause you're really really not, but you're not a monster either."

"Oh, don't mistake me," he said with his patented devious smirk and she saw it for what it was like she never had before. He always did this when things go too close, when people saw things he didn't want too. It used to work on her, used to drive her to exasperation. In a way the things he said did still annoy her, they were awful at times, but she could see the other side of it too now. He didn't like when people got close and this was his way of preventing that, of pushing them away, "I am very much still-"

"The Devil? Yeah, I know," she tilted her head, intentionally mimicking the look he so often gave suspects when he was weaving his powers over them. It made him step back, and the move looked involuntary, "Ya know, I find it interesting. You and I had a fight about the fact that the Devil's not as bad as everyone makes him out to be, now you're trying to say he is. So which is it?"

He stared at her like the rug had just been pulled out from beneath him, "What are you doing?"

"You know what I think after my delightful conversation with Maze?" she asked in a sweet tone and he winced, "I think that if you're surrounded long enough by friends and family who tell you what they think you are, or are supposed to be, it becomes almost impossible to not be that person. I think it's why you bounce around so much now that you've 'retired', because you don't know who you are. You never wanted to be the Devil but you did it because you screwed up and you had to. It was all you could do so you learned to live with it and forgot everything else. So while that doesn't excuse the shit you've done, or still do honestly, it also doesn't make you inherently evil or irredeemable either."

She could have heard a pin drop in the stunned silence around them and she finally started to walk back to her car again when the awkwardness of him just staring at her got to be too much. "Do you think you can save the Devil, Chloe Decker?

She looked over her car at him, that wasn't what she wanted or a healthy mindset. She was a cop, she more than knew how addiction and changing your life for the better worked. Sure, she could help keep him on the path, be an anchor, but it was ultimately his decision to stay there. He needed to help himself, she couldn't do that work for him. "Lucifer, I'm your friend, and I'll be there when you need someone to talk to if things get rough but no, I can't save you."

"Of course not," His voice cracked as he smiled sadly.

She rolled her eyes at him, and shook her head "No, look Lucifer, I can't save you because that's not how it works. You don't need me to do it for you, I believe the Devil can more than save himself if he wants to."

Empowerment and confidence, not ego and pride, were what he really needed. He needed to believe in himself in a healthy manner, that he could change himself and his life for the better. He'd never be wholly good, she knew he'd always have that snarky sarcasm and undertones of darkness, but he could be redeemed, she knew he could. Maybe even to the point where he and his Father could get along again but she wondered if that was more a pipe dream than anything else. As Chloe watched the way he swallowed thickly she wondered why she was so sure about that fact. Why was she so sure that he had good in him or that he wanted to be better? Ultimately the answer was her gut. It had never led her wrong before and it was screaming at her now louder than it ever had, he could change but he needed her help. So she would give it, with eyes wide open, until he proved he didn't deserve it, if that ever happened. Slowly he sat in the car and looked like he wanted to say something else but then shook himself and stayed quiet. He didn't have an answer to her proclamation but that was alright, he didn't need to have one yet.