A/N: I am completely floored by all the wonderful reviews. They are lovely and truly help keep me motivated. This is another chapter for you all to enjoy, it isn't M but the next chapter will likely be or at least very very strong T. Enjoy! And of course, as always please leave a review if you fancy!

A short while later Elsie realized she was no longer sitting up, and was instead lying down with her back on the mattress. She attempted to decipher when exactly the transition had occurred but her attempts at coherent thought were muddled by her husbands lips upon her neck.

She'd never kissed anyone like this before.

She'd never experienced these sensations before.

But they were agreeable.

Enjoyable even.

Her mind wondered briefly if Charles had ever kissed someone like this.

She didn't want to know.

She didn't want to think about it.

But the thought was pushed from her mind as Charles lips returned to hers and his tongue again began to stroke hers in a most pleasing manner.

He was leaning above her, their chests pressed very lightly together. One hand gently stroked up and down her waist, never venturing any higher or lower. His other hand had reached across her to take her hand, their fingers entwined, pulsating in a way their bodies longed to.

She noted, in her brief moments of thought that he was purposefully keeping the lower half of their bodies separate.

Though he might have been making that effort, she felt her lower belly tingling, she felt a pulsating of nerves, and could only think of pulling his body closer to hers.

Without warning his lips were gone from hers, she looked up at him in shock for a moment. Her face flushed, her lips were swollen and red from their activity, an activity which her lips were completely unfamiliar with.

His cheeks were flushed, a soft lock of hair had fallen onto his forehead and she resisted the urge to wrap the wayward curl around her finger.

He rolled away from her and onto his back.

For a few minutes neither said a word, just lay side-by-side looking up at the off white ceiling in their room. The only sound about them was the sound of their breaths slowly coming back to normal.

"That was-" she began finally.

"I'm sorry Elsie-" he began to murmur.

Both stayed silent for a moment, willing the other to speak first.

Elsie turned her head to Charles, looking at his profile in the harsh yellow lights of the rooms' lamps. He felt her gaze on him but couldn't bring himself to look at her. He needed to relax, he needed to calm his body or else he'd shame himself in front of her and God.

"Please don't apologize Charlie." She said finally.

"I don't want you to think I'm an animal." He said, still not looking at her.

"I don't think that, I never would."

"I can control myself, its just…I suppose I've waited so long." He said.

She turned back and looked up at the ceiling again.

There it was.

He'd been waiting.

He'd been patient.

He deserved to get what he wanted.

But she was still frightened.

"The kisses were lovely Charlie…but…I'm still…uncertain-"

"We took it off the table, remember?" He said, a bit too quickly for her liking.

"I know what we said, but, well it's all fine and good to be sensible when you're walking around in public, but it's rather a different story when you're in bed with your newly wedded spouse." She said briskly.

"Can you tell me why at least?" Charles asked, turning to look at her now. Noticing how her hair had come undone slightly, much like his own. It looked lovely to him, framing her face with her soft brown locks.

"Why what?" she asked, feeling his gaze upon her, unable to return it. Part of her wondered if, now they were married, they would ever be able to look at each other in the eye again. Certainly she'd never be able to look at Anna again after the pre-wedding conversation they had had about marital relations.

"I'm not trying to pressure you, and truly, it's off the table for tonight. But can you tell me why the idea of…being intimate with me is so scary for you." He said, genuinely wanting to understand.

"I don't want to disappoint you…" she muttered.

At that Charles sat up in frustration. Anger began to fill him. She lay on the bed still shocked; one hand flew up to her chest at his sudden and abrupt outburst.

"Damnit Elsie! I'm so tired of hearing you say that." He said, trying to calm himself down. He turned around to look at her, he noted the shocked look on her face and tried even harder to calm himself.

"I've told you a half dozen times at least that you could never disappoint me. I don't know how else to say this Elsie. I love you. I will never, ever be disappointed. There is nothing you could ever do that would make me love you less or think less of you. I feel…" he trailed off, unsure how to continue. Unsure how his wedding night had gotten so off track. "I feel like a horrible husband, that you would think me so fickle. That, though I've said it time and time again you still don't believe me. Its like I've failed at marriage before we've even begun." He said turning away from her again he put his head in his hands, exhausted by the surge of powerful emotions going through him.

She lay in shock for a moment. Processing his words. Seeing the hurt radiating off of his normally proud shoulders. She sat up then, awkwardly negotiating herself to a position sitting next to him on the bed, though keeping a distance between them.

"It's a sorry excuse-" She began.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped like that, you have every right-"

"No, Charlie, let me say this." She said firmly.

He took his face from his hands and looked up at her. Gently she took his hands in hers, took a deep breath and began.

"That was unfair to you. To say that. And you are right, you have said many times that you love me, and that you would never be disappointed by me and truly that has brought me comfort. I wasn't…I wasn't being truthful with you just now because…well…I didn't want to be truthful with myself. My fear…my reluctance…it isn't because of a fear of disappointing you." She paused then and squeezed his hands, trying to reassure them both.

"Today in church I gave my soul to you before God. I signed a legal document signing myself to you in the eyes of the law as well. I'm…I'm an independent woman Charlie. Its something that I have always prided myself on-"

"I don't intend-" He began.

"Please don't interrupt, not yet. I've prided myself on being able to survive on my own. It's not a life most women would choose, in fact very few do choose it. Somehow that always made it feel more precious to me. I sacrificed a lot to attain the position I have at Downton Abbey, to be the person I am. I've grown rather fond of her, but now. My love, with you it seems I'm flying in the face of all the things that I rallied myself against for so long. One cannot be an old maid and a married woman in one. While both positions are honorable, I…I never expected to be a bride…a wife. I find today…I am overwhelmed. In one short day I have gone from being my own keeper to being completely at your mercy. And I know…you would never be unkind or cruel but it is a change. One I had never considered. By law I'm now your property, all I have is yours, I promised to love and obey you. All my agency, all my personal autonomy has been given up. And I know…I know you don't see it like that. But that is how it feels. I know you have also promised to love and care for me but…well its different for women, whether it should be or not is not a discussion I wish to have at present but there it is. And somehow…intimacy, marital intimacy feels like something…oh Lord Charlie how do I say this?" She trailed off, thinking to herself.

He sat in disbelief, trying to absorb every word she was speaking.

"It feels like," she began finally, "the only thing I can control now is my body. It is the only thing I still have within my possession alone, and once I give it to you, I can never have it back fully."

"I see." He said softly, looking from her face to where their hands were.

"I don't say this to be cruel, and I do want to…you know…eventually. But right now…I need to have something to hold onto, just for now."

"I understand Elsie…or at least, I think I do. And you will always have something to hold onto, and that's me. Forever now."

She smiled at that. Warmth for her husband filling her again. Love for him overwhelming her heart.

"I do so love you Charlie." She said proudly.

"And I love you Elsie." He said looking at her, looking into the gentle eyes of his beloved.

Of course now he felt unsure, he understood what she was saying. He respected it, a great deal. While in his mind there were equals he knew that by law and by society they weren't and it hurt him to think of it.

Unsure of what to do, he simply continued to hold her hand.

It took Elsie a few minutes to realize that he was purposefully not making any moves. She burst with love for him then and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

"Thank you Charlie. No woman has had a husband as lovely as you." She said.

"You can't possibly know that." He said, putting on a fake air of disapproval.

"Oh, I can my love."

They sat like that then, beside each other on the end of the bed. Hands linked together, looking off at the walls of the hotel room surrounding them. Both unsure what to do next. Charles felt exhaustion begin to take hold of him but Elsie felt alert, wide awake with the adrenaline of her confession.

Tenderly she extricated her hands from his.

"I suppose we should get ready for bed." He said finally, though not actually moving to do so.

Elsie took a deep breath and reached for his hand, which rested between them on the bed.

When Charles would reflect on this moment later, it seemed to him that it all happened in slow motion, or in some kind of magical dreamland. But indeed it did happen, it was reality.

Elsie took his hand, brought it up and rested it against her breast, leaving her own hand atop his for a moment to encourage him.

To signal to him that his touch there was wanted.

It was desired.