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Chapter 4
Clarke woke to voices, soft and permeating the dense fog that wrapped around her tired mind. She opened her eyes slowly, wincing at the bright light that momentarily blinded her.
She blinked, the room finally coming into view. She shifted, rolling over to find Bryce sitting on Bellamy's lap. The two sat in deep conversation, both so similar with their dark curls and expressive eyes.
She lay silent; listening as Bryce proudly said his ABC's for the man he clearly admired. She smiled, when he got to her favorite part.
"M-N-N-O-P", the little boy chanted, his brow furrowed in concentration.
She watched as his little face broke into a victorious smile as he finished, saying "Z" with triumph.
"Very good, little man", she croaked, her voice rough from disuse.
Bryce turned, his little eyes brightening to see his mother awake. He quickly climbed from Bellamy's lap, racing to the bed where his mother lay, holding his little arms up in a silent pleading gesture.
Clarke sat up, bending to pull him up alongside her. However, her side chose that moment to protest rather sharply. Her vision blurred and she would have fallen flat on her face if it weren't for Bellamy.
He placed his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to lie back down. Her breathing was ragged, and nausea washed over her in waves. She stared at Bellamy, the worry in his dark eyes tugging at her heart.
"Princess", he asked hesitantly.
"I'm fine", she breathed, "It's just the infection. These things take time to clear up, but the antibiotics my mother gave me will help."
"Momma", Bryce said, his little face a mask of worry.
"It's ok", she said with a smile before turning back to the dark haired man, "Bell, could you…"
Before she could even finish, Bellamy scooped Bryce up and deposited him on the cot beside her. The little boy knelt beside her, taking a strand of hair and caressing it with his fingers.
"What have you and Bellamy been up to this morning", she asked, her hands resting on the little boy's sides to steady him and prevent him from falling from the high cot.
"I told Bewamy a story, and I taughted him his ABC's", Bryce said with a wide grin.
"Oh really", Clarke said with a smile as she glanced at Bellamy, "What story did you tell him?"
"The one about the brave Rebel who saved the kingdom."
Clarke's breath hitched in her chest. "That one, huh", she said, her calm tone belying her shock.
"Yep, he likeded it a whole lot", the little boy said seriously.
"Good", she answered, not even chancing a look in Bellamy's direction, "Have you eaten?"
Before the little boy could answer, the man beside them spoke up.
"No, he didn't want to leave you."
Clarke looked at Bellamy, a strange light glowing in his brown eyes. She refused to wonder about it, thinking that he'd surely moved on while she was gone. He didn't love her, he despised her, and she had to keep reminding herself of that no matter how much it hurt.
"Alright, well then we'll just go together", she said smiling at her son.
Bryce smiled and then turned to Bellamy, his little arms outstretched. She watched as the Rebel took the child in his arms, the tiny boy resting his head on the man's shoulder in a rare display of trust.
Clarke sat up, trying to ignore the way the room spun. She swung her legs over the side of the cot, sliding off, her feet hitting the floor with a thud. The action sent a jarring pain through her side, but she grit her teeth to avoid the groan that tried to escape.
The other two stared at her, cautiously, as if they were waiting for her to fall to pieces. She gave them a small smile, just enough to set them at ease. Her legs wobbled, but she willed them to hold her weight, turning to Bellamy with a sweep of her hand.
"After you", she said.
He looked at her for a moment, almost as if he was going to refuse, and then he started off. She walked behind them, one hand held against her injured side as she fought to keep up.
They entered the mess hall, finding the large room nearly empty. Clarke made her way to the line, taking two trays. She put a handful of berries on Bryce's plate, along with a scoop of the cooked oats. For herself, she took a small piece of bread and an even smaller handful of berries.
She carried the trays to where Bellamy sat beside Octavia. She groaned internally as the other woman turned to glare at her. She didn't have the energy to speak, simply nodding as she sat down.
Bryce came around the table, and crawled into her lap. She handed him his spoon, helping him to position it correctly in his tiny hand before turning to her own breakfast.
Octavia watched the blonde, noticing the carefully veiled look of pain and the way her eating slowed. She wanted to forgive her, but she refused. Clarke didn't deserve forgiveness after what she'd done.
She turned to look at her brother, taking in the way he stared at the woman and child before him. He looked conflicted, as if he wanted to hold onto his anger but felt it slowly slipping through his fingers.
She couldn't allow his heart to be broken again- couldn't allow Clarke to hurt him again. So, Octavia held onto her anger, the warmth of rage enveloping her.
Clarke couldn't remember a time in her life when she'd felt so tired, but she continued to eat not wanting to waste any of the food on her tray. The little boy in her lap ate with gusto, inhaling the berries and oats.
"All done, Momma", he said with a smile.
"Alright, Momma's not done yet so…"
"Can I go outside with Bewamy", Bryce asked suddenly.
Clarke looked over his head at the man who sat before her, "Well, I…".
"It's fine Clarke, I have a few things I need to check on anyway. He's more than welcome to tag along", Bellamy answered.
"If you're sure?"
"I'm sure. Come on buddy", the Rebel said, standing and extending his hand to the little boy.
Clarke watched them leave, Bryce skipping along beside his newfound hero like he'd known him for years. She turned back, surprised to see Octavia still sitting there.
She did her best to ignore the glares shot her way by the angry girl, instead focusing on what was left of her breakfast. She forced down the rest of the bread, and then took her and Bryce's trays to the wash stack.
Clarke walked out of the mess hall and out into the sunshine. The warmth felt heavenly on her chilled skin, reminding her of the days she and Bryce had spent in the forest picking flowers and making up stories.
She walked through the bustling camp, her steps slow and unsure. Things had changed a lot since she'd been gone, and nothing was as she remembered. She was just about to turnaround and head back, when a rough hand on her arm stopped her.
Clarke turned to find a very angry Octavia standing before her.
"I know what you're doing", she spat.
The blonde sighed, really not feeling up to the confrontation but knowing it was unavoidable.
"What am I doing, Octavia?"
"You're using my brother because you know he's the only one in this camp who'll help you."
Clarke felt as though she'd been slapped, "Is that what you think?"
"Obviously, Clarke, or I wouldn't have said it. You don't deserve him after everything you've done. My brother looked for you every day until I told him the truth. I had to tell him about your betrayal! I had to watch as he succumbed to the pain you caused!"
"I'm sorry, Octavia. I thought it would be better for him if I left", Clarke stated tiredly.
"You were right about that, but then you came back!"
"I had to, if not then Bry…"
"Oh yeah, the little boy you 'found'! You're the reason he doesn't have parents, the reason he's an orphan! If you think raising him will absolve you of guilt you're wrong!"
"Octavia, I still feel the guilt for everything that I've done. I assure you that just because I'm raising that wonderful little boy, it doesn't mean I don't suffer", Clarke answered quietly.
Her soft reply only heightened Octavia's anger and she lashed out.
"One day that little boy you love so much will grow to hate you! I'll make sure he knows what really happened in that Mountain!"
Clarke felt white-hot rage burn in her chest. Bryce had been hurt enough without being caught in the middle of their feud. She stepped forward, her face mere inches from the other girl's.
"That little boy has suffered enough! You want to hurt someone you hurt me! Leave my son out of your sick and twisted games", Clarke said vehemently.
Then she gasped as a sharp pain tore through her rib cage, her heartbeat thundering in her ears as she fought to pull air into her lungs. Her vision blurred, and her world tilted.
How she stayed upright, Clarke didn't know. All she knew was that her lungs refused to fill with oxygen. Her shirt was sticky with blood and the oozing puss from the infected wound.
She looked at Octavia, the girl's angry features transforming into a fearful expression.
"Clarke", she said reaching out to steady her.
Then over Octavia's shoulder, Clarke saw Bellamy and Bryce returning. Her son smiled, running to attach himself to her legs.
"Momma, Bewamy and I…"
Then he stopped, his eyes widening at the blood on her shirt and the sound of her ragged breaths.
She looked down, wishing that he didn't have to see this. Then she fell to her knees, her legs unable to support her any longer. Bile rose in her throat, and then she was retching.
Her stomach emptied until there was nothing left, but still she heaved. Finally, the gagging stopped and she fell onto her side struggling to drag air into her burning lungs.
Bryce was crying, his little hands clinging to her shirt as he knelt beside her in the dirt. Then Bellamy was there, falling beside her, taking her face in his hands and calling her name.
She blinked sluggishly, his words barely registering. She wanted to tell him everything- how she felt, how much she'd missed him, how sorry she was, but her tongue lay thick and useless in her mouth.
All Clarke could do was stare up at the sky, her son's cries and Bellamy's pleading drowning out her thoughts. Then someone was pulling Bryce away. She wanted to tell them not to- wanted to scream and fight.
Instead she laid motionless, Bellamy's face blurring in and out of focus. She felt gentle hands lifting her from the filth and carrying her inside the ARK. Her body soon rested on a soft mattress, her mother standing over her.
Darkness began to crowd in, her mind embracing it with open arms as the noise and chaos faded into nothingness.
Bellamy was bringing Bryce back across camp when he heard his sister's heated words. He watched as Clarke suddenly exploded back, something Octavia said obviously hitting a very sensitive nerve.
Then he watched as something changed. Clarke stood there, her features colored by shock. Bryce tore from his grasp, running to wrap his little arms around the blonde's legs.
Then, as if in slow motion, Clarke sank to her knees. She lost her breakfast, and then collapsed on her side. He began to run, falling on his knees in the dirt beside her.
Each rise of her chest seemed to be a struggle and her eyes were unresponsive. She just lay there, not moving to comfort the crying boy that held on to her for dear life.
He cupped her face, the chill of her skin scaring him. He began to beg her not to go, pleading her not to leave him again. He could see his sister's tear stained features as she watched from a short distance away.
"O, get Bryce", he rasped.
Bellamy had to get Clarke to Abby, and he couldn't carry the woman with the little boy refusing to let go. He watched as his sister gently pulled the boy away, his screams echoing out over the camp as he fought to free himself from her hold.
"She pwomised", he screamed, "She pwomised she wouldn't leave!"
Bellamy felt tears prick his eyes at the raw emotion that edged Bryce's voice. He fought to ignore the urge to comfort the little guy, knowing that the boy's mother had to be his first priority.
He gently lifted her into his arms, terrified by how light she felt. He ran to the med bay, laying her down on the cot she'd been sitting on only a short time ago. He heard Octavia behind him, and Abby as she rushed in to see to Clarke.
Bellamy moved back, taking the boy from his sister and hugging him to his chest. Bryce cried and cried until he finally fell into an exhausted sleep, his little body going limp.
The Rebel watched as Abby worked on her daughter, hooking Clarke up to IV's and monitors. He could see the worry plain as day on the woman's face, and it scared him. He couldn't lose Clarke again; he wouldn't survive it a second time.
Soon, the room was filled with the rhythmic beeps of the heart monitor and the blonde's now even breathing.
"She's stable", Abby breathed, "I've got to get the infection under control or she won't be for much longer."
"I'll send for Lincoln, maybe he knows of some plant or herb we can use", Bellamy answered.
"What we need right now is a miracle, Bellamy", Abby sighed.
"Clarke's strong, she'll pull through."
"Yes, but she's not strong. She's incredibly weak. I don't know how long she must have traveled without stopping. She must have known that it would become infected and tried to make it here as quickly as she could."
Bellamy stared down at the little boy in his arms, knowing that Clarke would want him taken care of.
"I'll keep Bryce with me. Send word if her condition changes", he said solemnly.
He watched as Abby simply nodded, never taking her eyes from Clarke's unconscious form.
Bellamy turned to leave, but not before looking at his sister.
"Can I have a word with you", he asked quietly.
"Sure", she said.
He walked out, Octavia close on his heels. Once they reached the outside, his anger hit him full force.
"You just had to confront her, didn't you", he ground out.
"Bell, I'm…"
"Don't bother telling me how sorry you are, Octavia. You went after her because you were angry, and you used worry for my well being as an excuse. I heard the way you threatened her, telling her you'd use her son against her."
"I…"
He interrupted her again, "I'm not finished! You can hate Clarke all you want, but don't use me as an excuse to rip her to shreds. If you knew me at all, Octavia, you'd know that attacking the woman I love would never be something I would want."
With that he left, going in search of Lincoln. He found him near the gates, his back turned as he stood issuing orders to an herb gathering party.
"Lincoln", Bellamy called as he approached.
"Yes", the other man answered, turning to face his girlfriend's brother.
"I need you to help Clarke. Her infection is spreading and Abby doesn't know what to do. Please tell me you know of some magic herb that can fix this", Bellamy said, desperation coloring his words.
"I know of something that might work, but there are no guarantees."
"You don't have to guarantee it, Lincoln. Abby's already at the end of her rope, and she has no other options."
Lincoln nodded, placing a firm hand on his friend's shoulder. "I will do my best", he said before leaving.
Bellamy walked back to his quarters, laying Bryce down on the bed. He covered the little boy with a blanket and then sat down heavily in the chair by his desk.
He leaned forward, placing his head in his hands. He'd never been more afraid than when he'd heard Abby say there was nothing more she could do. He looked at the little boy where he slept.
Neither of them could make it without her, they needed her guidance but more importantly they needed her love. Sure there were other women who could raise the little boy and warm Bellamy's bed, but no other could make him feel the things that Clarke Griffin did.
Thanks for reading! Please review if you have a second! I love hearing from y'all! :)
Wright: Thanks for the review! Raven and Bryce are hopefully going to meet soon. I definitely agree with you, Bell and Clarke raising a kid together would be precious! :)