Chapter 4

Brenda looked at Wendy. "She called you a mortal and you still didn't suspect something was up?"

"As much as she'd been on a sugar high the whole day?" Wendy answered, "No."

"What happened?" Brenda asked.

"Well…" Kelly said.

Three months ago…

Jack was sitting on a table on the main deck of the boat that was gonna take them back home. He was talking to a bunch of girls. "You know, the hardest part was figuring out the 'waters of mankind' riddle. But I just put the old coconut into overdrive and the answers seemed to just flow out of me." He and the girls started laughing.

Ryan came up with Tech and mock laughed. "You can say that again!" He pulled Jack off the table and away from the crowd. "I can't believe you're taking credit for our work!"

"Like father, like son," said Tech.

Ryan rolled his eyes and turned back to Jack. "We spent two months translating those hieroglyphs with Daniella. It's the whole reason we came here! Now we finally get our chance with this and you take it from us! What do you have to say for yourself?!"

Jack looked at him for a few more seconds. "What do you call that thing that hangs in the back of your throat?" They both looked at him. "'Cause when you yell like that, it kind of flaps around!"

"Are you listening to anything he said?!" Tech cried. Jack just kept looking at them. "It's called a uvula!"

Before Jack could make another comeback, his phone rang. He pulled it out. "Hello?" He listened to what they had to say. "It's that science magazine you guys were talking about."

"Tomb Digest?" Ryan asked.

"Yes," said Jack, "This is Jack Duck, the famous archamolologist!" He looked at the two coyotes. "I need to take this." He walked off.

In the girls' cabin…

Wendy walked into the cabin to see Zaria alone in the cabin, going through her jewelry box. "Kelly! What are you doing going through my jewelry?"

"Silence, worm!" Zaria commanded.

Wendy noticed the weird, deepened voice. "Whoa, do you have a cold or something?"

Zaria sighed. "I am not interested in your poorly crafted trinkets!" She dropped the necklaces she was holding back into the box.

Wendy slammed the door shut. "'Poorly crafted'? You didn't seem to have a problem with that when you were first going out with Austin! Oh, wait, honeymoon phase."

Zaria glared at her. "I must have my crown! It was forged in the Fires of Mount Zoon, using the finest gold and precious jewels. Plus, I wore it to prom, so it has sentimental value." She started to leave the cabin.

"Wait, are talking about that thing that Jack found?"

Zaria turned back to face her. "Jack? Who be this Jack?"

Wendy looked at her. "Jack be my son and your cousin."

Zaria grabbed her arms and lifted her from the floor. "Where will I find him?!"

Wendy was scared. "I don't know! Try the juice bar!"

Zaria tossed her onto one of the beds. "You have been of help. I will spare your life." She walked off.

Wendy stared after her in fear and confusion.

On the main deck…

A reporter had showed up and was now on the boat. "This is Isabelle Core, coming to you live with Jack Duck, the young—"

"And handsome," Jack added, coming into the shot dressed like Indiana Jones.

Isabelle looked at him. "Whatever." She turned back to the camera and smiled. "—archaeologist who discovered the ancient Crown of Zaria." She turned back to Jack. "So, Jack, was this your first big discovery?"

"Actually, nay. Last year, I went on a search for the Emerald Monkey."

Ryan scoffed, sitting on the hot tub with Tech, Sophie, Sarah, Michael, and Austin. "That was a toy he dug out of the Marshmallow Crunches! And it should've been mine anyway! Because he got the stickers that came with the fruit rolls!"

"So," said Isabelle, "what was the hardest part of this search? The endless research? The painstaking digging?"

"I'd have to say…" Jack answered, "fighting off the giant scorpions. Luckily, I always carry my trusty whip!" He walked over to the juice bar, got out a whip, and used it—

"YOW!"

Jack pulled his whip back. "Heh…sorry, ma'am!" He turned back to the camera and sighed. "Wait. Before we go on, there is someone I need to acknowledge. I would never have made this heroic discovery without him."

Tech and Ryan looked up, hopefully, Ryan jumping off the hot tub.

Jack looked at them. "Ryan…move aside, let the smoothie guy through!'

Ryan stopped smiling and took a step back to reveal a guy with a tray of smoothies.

"This is the guy that sold me the giant drink that made me need to release the waters of mankind! Get over here, you big lug!" Jack pulled the smoothie guy up to a photographer. "And point!" The two posed for the picture.

"Tell me you didn't see that coming," said Sophie, looking at Tech and Ryan as they all got off the hot tub. The rest of the gang came up (except Wendy and Kelly).

Zaria then came up, dressed somewhat similar to a cavegirl.

Austin looked at her. "Hey, Kelly." He took a second look at her. "That's a new look." She looked at him as the others turned their attention to her, as well. "See you hit the Zaria gift shop, too."

Zaria scoffed. "It pleases me more than the rags I awoke in."

"Whoa," said Benny, "you got a cold or something? Your voice…"

Tech sighed and turned his attention back to Jack. "I can't believe Jack is taking credit for our discovery…well, I can believe it, I just didn't think he'd get this far."

"I'm with you, Dad," said Ryan, "I mean, he practically stole the Crown of Zaria!"

They now had Zaria's attention. She looked at them in disbelief, her eyes wide. "How dare he!"

"Exactly!" said Tech.

"He will die a thousand painful deaths!"

Ryan sighed. "Thank you for your support, sis, it means a lot."

"And after he has been sacrificed on the altar of Ixnay Fufu, the gods of the Underworld will drag his soul to the Pit of Despair!"

Ryan whistled. "I was just gonna write a strongly worded letter to Tomb Digest, but your way works, too."

Austin, however, was sensing there was something wrong with Kelly…

"So," Isabelle told Jack, "we were wondering if you would be willing to present the crown to us before you hand it over to the museum."

"No problem," said Jack. He turned around. "LOUIS!"

Louis came out, carrying the crown on a velvet pillow. It had been cleaned off and removed of the dirt, so it was now restored to its full glory, pure gold with dozens of fair jewels.

"That crown does not belong to you!" Zaria cried.

"Yeah, you tell him, Kelly!" Tech said.

"It belongs to me!"

"I—what?"

"Now you will feel my wrath!"

"Who are you?" asked Isabelle.

Zaria glared at her. "I am Princess Zaria." The rest of the group looked at her in shock, finally understanding what was going on. "I have awakened from my sleep of 1000 years to finally reclaim my crown!" She turned to Jack. "Give me the crown, peasant!"

"Uh, no way, finders keepers." Jack started to walk off.

Zaria stopped him. "Give it to me now! Or I will have your head on a stick!"

Jack looked at her. "You don't even have a stick!"

Zaria glared at him for a few more seconds and then ripped the arm rest off of a nearby chair.

"And she has a stick."

Zaria tightened her grip on the stick and started to chase him around the deck.

Jack ran off. He grabbed onto a waiter and held him in front of her. When she leaned left, he leaned left. When she leaned right, he leaned right. Finally, she grabbed the waiter and threw him into a table. "I need a bigger waiter!" He kept running.

Wendy raced up. "What'd I miss? How's Jack's 'big interview' going?"

"It started out well," said Daniella, "But now Kelly's trying to whack him with a pointy stick!"

"Ooh, fun!"

"Not fun, not fun!"

Zaria and Jack ran by.

Sophie chased after them. "Hey! No running with sharp objects!" She couldn't catch up to them and came back.

"Wait," said Austin, "that's it! You guys said that the legend said that Zaria swore to once again rise. Maybe when Jack unearthed the crown, it released her spirit and it jumped into Kelly!"

Louis dropped the pillow. "Wow. Who knew all that was true? I thought we just said that to suck in the tourists!"

Zaria and Jack ran by again.

Sophie scoffed. "That's ridiculous. Zaria wasn't a Witch or anything!" She stopped Zaria. "Kelly! You stop this minute, young lady, or I'll ground you for a week!"

Zaria pushed her into a table. "And I will cut off your limbs and feed them to my piranhas!" She ran after Jack again.

Sophie turned back to the others. "Well, I tried. Anyone else wanna take a shot?"

Everyone shook their heads. They all turned back to Jack and Zaria to see that Zaria had tied him up with his whip.

Zaria took the crown. "At last!" She put it on, savored the moment, and… "Does this crown make me look fat?"

Jack looked at her. "No, you look beautiful. Now would you untie me?!"

"NO! You stole my crown. I will take you back to the sacrificial altar, where you will be buried in an anthill and EATEN ALIVE!" She grabbed him and pulled him over the side of the ship.

"They went overboard!" Wendy cried.

A half hour later…

Zaria had buried Jack in the anthill at the altar.

"Kelly," Jack said, "Or Zaria. Or whoever you are! Look, I'd just like to point out that I look much better with my flesh on."

"Be quiet, peasant!" Zaria commanded, "Your voice is like a sword in my brain!"

"Yeesh, someone needs a hug."

The rest of the group came back.

"Oh, I hope Jack's OK," said Sarah, "Otherwise, we'll have to listen to Wendy complaining day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day—"

"Like we do now?" asked Lucy.

"Oh, good point."

"BACK!" Zaria yelled, "There will be no rescue!" She grabbed a giant rock and threw it at them. Fortunately, they were all able to jump back before the rock could hit anyone.

Tech then noticed some carvings on a stone. "OK, if I'm translating these hieroglyphs right, we have to put the crown on the statue to appease her. That or it's a recipe for fish tacos."

"We'll have to try it," said Michael.

"Wait, we're gonna cook?" asked Wendy, "I thought we were eating out tonight."

Michael glared at her. "Not the recipe, the crown!"

"Oh, right! Sorry!"

Tech rolled his eyes and raced up to Zaria. "Kelly—"

"I am Zaria," Zaria snapped, "princess of the Serpent People."

"No, you're not! You're Kelly Coyote, from downtown Acmetropolis. You love ice-skating, you have a boyfriend and family who love you, and you're ticklish behind your left ear!" To demonstrate, he tickled her left ear.

Kelly laughed. Zaria grabbed him by the arms and lifted him. "How dare you touch me, dog!" She threw him aside.

Tech got up. "She really doesn't wanna give that crown back!"

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Austin yelled. He ran over to Zaria. "Kelly!" He turned her to face him. "Come on, if you're still in there…I miss you. Please, come back! Say something! It's me!"

Kelly looked at him. "Austin?"

Zaria turned around. "Quiet, slave!"

Kelly came out again. "No, you be quiet, you spoiled brat!" She lifted her hand, but Zaria grabbed it.

Zaria: Unhand me!

Kelly: Never! Give me the crown!

Zaria: NO! CEASE AT ONCE!

"Whoa, chick fight with only one chick!" Jack said.

Kelly, still fighting Zaria off, looked at Austin. "Austin, get the crown!"

Austin jumped on her and took the crown off.

Zaria pushed him away. "How dare you give away my crown!" She slapped Kelly.

Kelly looked back up with an angry look on her face. "Oh, don't you slap me!" She slapped herself. "OK, I just can't win here!"

Zaria turned back to Austin. "NO!"

Before she could do anything to stop him, Austin placed the crown on the statue.

The green light reemerged and went back into the statue.

Kelly looked at her boyfriend and smiled. "Austin…you saved me." Austin smiled back and the two lovers hugged.

Louis walked up to the statue. "The princess' spirit is once more safely entombed in the statue!"

"Yay!" said Sarah, "Let's celebrate! I'm in the mood for Chinese!"

Nadine walked over to Jack and pulled him out of the anthill with Austin's help.

Isabelle walked up to Jack. "So, Jack, where will your next big adventure take you?"

"Home. I'm through with archamolology! And you can tell your viewers, the living and the undead, that the only reason I found that stupid crown is because Tech and Ryan—" He grabbed the two coyotes. "These guys right here." He pushed them back. "—knew where to look, OK? They did all the work, I just found a rock! So haunt them!"

Ryan looked at his mallard cousin. "Thanks, Jack."

"No problem. Now I have to go, because I literally have ants in my pants!" Jack walked off.

Isabelle walked up to Ryan. "So, did you fight off any wild scorpions?"

Ryan laughed. "A couple. Walk with me." He walked off, the rest of the group following except for Tech, Kelly, and Austin.

"So I guess that means that it's my fault this whole mess happened," said Tech, "I'm sorry, Kelly."

"It's OK," said Kelly, "Austin saved me. Seems like he always does."

Austin scoffed. "Not always."

"Ghosts, Vampires, this, Tiara—"

"I get it! I guess I am saving you all the time."

"So I probably shouldn't be so on you all the time," said Tech.

"You said it, not me," said Austin, walking off.

Kelly smiled. "My guys. What would we do without them?" She walked, zapping herself back to normal as Tech followed.

Now…

"Wow," said Brenda, "So that's why Tech hasn't been so hard on Austin lately. He keeps saving his daughter."

"Tech's not the only one who's been uptight at Kelly at times," said Daniella. She looked at Sophie.

Sophie looked back. "What? I never got too upset at Kelly!"

"Oh, please!" Kelly said, "Remember the magic carpet?"

"Magic carpet?" asked Brenda.

"Well, it all started about seven months ago when we decided I needed my own room…"

Seven months ago…

Two weeks before the Armageddon incident, Tech, Ryan, and Michael were having to help Kelly and Sarah decorate Kelly's room. The guys had gotten fed up with having to share a room with two girls, even if the girls were their sisters.

Sarah walked in to check on them to see that they'd been spending past few hours smothering the walls with pink paint. "Wow…"

Tech walked up to her. "OK, we really need an honest opinion with this before we let it dry and start moving her stuff."

"Well, it…wow…it's pink." Tech just looked at her. "You've been doing this for three hours?"

"Well, some of us have," Tech said. He turned back to Ryan and Michael.

Michael held up his hands to reveal that his fingers were locked together. "Check it out! The paint dried my fingers together. Hiya!" He smacked a small pan with his locked hand and the pan stuck to it.

"That is so cool! Give it up!" Ryan high-five'd his brother…and clutched his hand in pain from hitting the pan.

Kelly walked in, carrying something. "Hey, guys." She looked around. "Hmm. Looks good so far, but you know what would be better?" She took the cloth off the thing she was carrying and unrolled the swatch. "Pink fur wallpaper!"

"Oh, great," said Ryan, "Watch Daddy's Little Princess make us give up another three hours just on the walls by putting up her new…wall…fur!"

"Uh…" Tech said.

"Yeah, I almost didn't get it," Kelly explained, "because the guy at the store said only a 'professional' could put it up, but then I realized 'he doesn't know my dad!'"

Tech took it and smiled at her. "Right. The Coyote boys are on it!" He walked over to his sons. "We're gonna need a lot of glue."

"I thought we were gonna do my room next!" said Ryan.

"I thought you said you were fine sharing with Michael," said Tech.

"Dad, have you seen the inside of his dresser or underneath his bed?" Tech looked at him. "Yeah, it's not pretty."

Kelly scoffed. "Well, I would help you, but I have work to do." She walked off to start looking for more stuff for her room (since she'd been sharing a room with three other people her whole life, she didn't have a lot of stuff to store in there completely).

"And I need to be working on mine," said Sarah before leaving, too.

"Yeah, we're never leaving that room," Michael told his brother.