Chapter Four: A Soldier's Loss
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The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with. It felt like losing your co-rememberer meant losing the memory itself, as if the things we'd done were less real and important than they had been hours before.
— John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
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Sherlock has been silent for months, but Mycroft will be damned before he lets the one reason his brother might return waste away. That reason is silent in front of him, leaning heavily on a hospital issued cane and wearing a ratty, second-hand jumper. Despite the cane, he stands with a soldier's stance, straight and immovable. His emotionless face is a façade to hide the devastation within.
John Watson is a ruined man, and Mycroft helped to make him so. The guilt should be tremendous.
Mycroft feels very little these days.
"In the eighteen months since my brother's death, you have done very little with yourself, Mr Watson. You go to work, you drink at various establishments, and then you return home."
"I hardly see that this is any of your business." The reply is brisk, irritated. Mycroft is momentarily glad that Anthea suggested they meet on neutral ground. He has a feeling John would be, if possible, even less forthcoming if Mycroft had cornered him at the hovel that he calls a flat. The outside of the GP where the doctor has found work, while not ideal, is less intimidating.
"You've left Baker Street, although perhaps for the best. None of your friends have seen you in months. You are always alone. I believe it's time someone made you their business." Mycroft pauses, but John makes no effort to respond. "My brother may be gone but that doesn't mean no one cares about what happens to you."
It is an offer of help, a sincere one. He knows John will not accept it. If he is honest, Mycroft can see himself in the lines on John's worn face. The only difference is that Mycroft cannot show his emotions so openly.
John looks at him with a blank expression, and in that too Mycroft is mirrored. "Nothing ever happens to me."