Disclaimer: DONOTOWN
Warning: I don't think there's swearing but I said WTF so WATCH OUT!
"LET GO OF ME YOU INSOLENT, IGNORANT, IDIOTIC..."
"Calm down, Kuchiki taichō! No need to be so angry, even if it is an interesting development..."
"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF ME!"
"I can assure you that my hands are perfectly germ-free."
"I DEMAND THAT YOU LET ME GO! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DEALING WITH!"
"If you want me to let you go, you're going to have to give me a better reason than screaming insults or empty threats."
"I PROMISE YOU, I WILL MAKE YOU FEEL PAIN THAT YOU HAVE NEVER FELT BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU DO NOT RELEASE ME FROM THIS INFERNAL CONTRAPTION!"
"You're going to have to try harder than that!"
"Kurosaki-kun... Kurosaki-kun... Kurosaki-kun..." Orihime kept repeating his name again and again, over and over, the name of the man who has changed her life in so many ways, the man who would do anything to protect her...the man she fell in love with. She was currently trying to grasp a hold of The Situation. The Situation was quite simple really, when you think about it properly. You see, grief broke his brain. It's the only explanation. Well, it's the only explanation she was willing to voice out loud through fear of her words actually being true. She didn't want to think of the implications of Kurosaki being... being... like that. No! She shouldn't even think of such a thing. Renji was probably just taking advantage of his grief! Using him for...well...whatever it is that men do... She got several mental images in her head, each one more obscure (& obscene) than the last before beginning to blush furiously.
"You okay, Inoue-san?"
"Ummm, yes! Of course I'm okay! I'm great actually! Why?"
"You just look a bit, er, flushed is all." Looking up for the first time at the man hovering over her, she couldn't help but think what an inherent contradiction he really was. Sure, he looked kinda mean, with his spiky hair, choker and tattooed face but here was, asking about her. "And you were talking to yourself." When was she talking to herself? Is she talking to herself now? "Err, I dunno if you were asking me that or not but yeah, you were."
"Oh, sorry! I... ummm, I didn't mean to disturb you!"
"It's okay but maybe you should go to fourth or something... I can take you if you want."
"Oh, no no, I'm fine, honestly. I must just be hungry, I'm like this all the time anyway!"
"Even still, come on, you can tell me what's up on the way over."
"Huh? 'What's up'?"
"You're crying."
"Oh."
"So, how are we feeling today?"
"Is this intentionally ironic?"
"Don't you like the chaise longue? I thought you might feel more relaxed."
"And the notebook?"
"Came with the set."
"Well, do I still have to be strapped to it?"
"Precaution. At least now you've found your marbles!"
"I am a man of reason and I have not once 'lost my marbles'."
"Right, yes, of course, you just misplaced them. Now, Mr. Kuchiki, may I ask why you were about to disembowel your subordinate?" Urahara tipped his hat upward in order to look at his captive's face, seeing the conflicting emotions (emotions he'd never seen cross the man's face before) warp his stoicism.
"You know why, now may I please leave? I have matters to attend to."
"Yes, yes, of course you'll leave but would I have asked you if I knew the reason?"
"Mayb-"
"That was rhetorical. I know the circumstances underlying your actions but I do not know why you acted with such...enthusiasm. Well, I say I don't know, but I do have a theory, now, the way I see it is, you were lonely, upset, depressed, distraught, any number of emotions you could unfathomably express, and you saw the two men who should be feeling as terrible, if not more terrible than you are, finding happiness. Now I could say that you were jealous of the happiness they shared, or I could say that it was something that ran slightly deeper than that."
"What exactly is it that you are suggesting?"
"I'm sure you're well aware of what I'm suggesting, after all, your affections for your fukutaichō are your affections."
"I'm not-"
"Of course you're not. Now, if you still want to that is, you may leave!" Releasing the bindings on Byakuya, Urahara stepped back from the newly freed, recently homicidal and insanely strong nobleman. As he watched the Kuchiki raise his hand to strike him, he closed his eyes and prepared for impact. When nothing came, he slowly reopened them, scanning the room for the man who was already long gone.
"So why'd you come over anyway?" Hisagi asked Orihime, receiving a quizzical look in response.
"Come over...where?"
"To ninth."
"I don't know... I just started running and running and then I saw that nice tree I was sitting under and I stopped and then you came."
"What were you running from?"
"Oh, no! It's nothing serious or anything! Actually, I should probably get going now anyway! Thanks for your help though, uhhh..."
"Hisagi."
"Thanks Hisagi-kun! Well, bye!" She ran off in some random direction, undoubtedly pretending she had somewhere to be (and pretending she knew where the hell she was going), leaving Hisagi with a confused expression on his face, deciding to seek out one of her friends because he was in a good mood. It wasn't that he might have a tiny crush on her due to her having a striking resemblance in certain areas to a certain fukutaichō, no sir. The fact that since his captain had fled, his work appeared unending didn't mean that he was going out of his way for her, he was just in a good mood, dammit. Sighing loudly, he went off in search of that one who always followed her about, the freak in the I-are-teh-antonym get-up. And no, he didn't notice the guy following her around all the time because he was staring at her, he was just observant. And just for the record, he definitely didn't have a borderline heart-attack when he saw her sitting outside, nor did he pinch himself. Nor did he stifle a nosebleed recalling some situations in which he pinched himself and it didn't hurt. Scanning for the guy, and finding nothing, he sighed again, louder. He had to let up on his reiatsu at some point and when he does, he will be found. Sighing once more, he returned to his paperwork, looking far more dejected than he had done when he left the office.
A/N
Okay, so this is short, but I wanted to leave this as it's own chapter so I'm going to upload more than one chapter at once because I've been an ass when it comes to this story, but I didn't know if I wanted to continue it or not, and I wasn't gonna, BUT I DID. I think it'll be finished in a few more chapters, maybe 3 or 4. So yeah:
Okay, WHY HISAGI!? I hear you cry, well because of four (weak-assed) reasons.
1) Hisagi has a crush on Matsumoto, it happened in the little cartoony things that used to come at the end of the manga chapters and she's pretty unavailable.
2) Because he would have watched Orihime & Rukia training if he weren't so busy
3) Because he is so busy; it makes him taking time out more important than it would be for anyone else really.
4) Because the only other person with similar qualities is Iba, and he's a coward, come on, he quit 11th. COWARD. He's all leik AMAGAD I'M FROM HIROSHIMA but , not literally gay because if he was gay then I'd probably give him a pairing xD But gay in the I-can't-think-of-an-insult kind of sense. I'M NO HOMOPHOBE! Lawl it'd be funny if I was though... writing homophobic slash, AWESOME.
Also, Hisagi doesn't get enough love.
Sorry there was no Renji&Ichigo but that's why I'm uploading 2 chapters at once, so you don't die of TheMainCharactersAren'tHereWTFFFitis.
Oh jesus these notes are LAWNG. See you next chapter!
Xx Robocracy.
P.S. OH GAWD NO ALCOHOL ABUSE. THAT'S A FIRST.
P.P.S. Please review because this story isn't getting a lot of love ;-;