Flowers for Sheldon…"
Summary: Leonard and the gang discover Sheldon has taken advantage of Penny's request for help with her binge drinking to make needed improvements…
Disclaimer: BBT is all Chuck Lorre's…
Part VI…
"Leonard…"
"Don't talk to me…" Leonard waved Sheldon off… "Don't come near me…I will hurt you…"
"Leonard…" Amy tried… "Sheldon only…"
"You're defending him?...He nearly destroyed your career…If he still hasn't…" Leonard fumed…
"Now just…" Sheldon backed off at Leonard's fierce glare…
Whoa…Amy eyed the look…
Rather…Brutally sexual streak there…I can see where Penny gets her urgent desire for sex with this man from…
Sheldon catching her look in turn…Eyes narrowing…What the?...
Not again…
"Hey!..." he growled…
Hmmn?...Amy, innocent stare…
"I can't believe this, Sheldon…You used an untested neural linkage system…An experimental system…On Penny…Our friend…My girlfriend?..."
"I have to point out Leonard, your ethical bias seems quite self-centered…" Amy noted… "It would have been a greater moral crime had Sheldon done this to a stranger, say a homeless person or an overeager work-study student of limited intellect too stupid to even guess at the possible ramifications…" she eyed Sheldon…
You are forgiven, woman…But lets not let this happen again…Curtest of nods…
Ummn…She eyed Leonard's now rather less sexually brutal and more angry raging face…
"What?..."
"But it is terrible your girlfriend…My best friend…Was involved…"
"Uh…Point of order, here…I must point out that Penny was a more than willing volunteer…" Sheldon noted…Waving hand…
"Shut up…" Leonard, coldly… "She'd no idea what she was getting into…My God, you selfish idiot…You could have killed her, left her a vegetable…"
"Oh, no…" Amy insisted, cutting in… "We'd seen no such effects in our rats and rabbits experiments…"
"Rats?...And rabbits?..." Leonard, exasperated… "Who lets you people work at a university anyhow…?"
"Well, I was hired by…" Sheldon began…
"Shut up!..."
"Of course…Testing wasn't complete on all the animals…" Amy reflected… "And in fact the stage five…"
"Will be finishing testing tomorrow…" Sheldon cut in… "And I'm sure are so looking forward to the end of the experiment and the chance to see Jesus, as my mother would say…"
"Sheldon…Did I say the 'shut up' was lifted?..."
"No, but…" Hmmn…Sheldon backed off behind Amy as Leonard approached… Amy, a fiercely protective stance…Leonard halting, with furious look…Put hands up, calming…
"All right… So she's definitely experienced some effects…How much exposure…To…"
"Me…" Sheldon noted… "Oh, right…Shut…" he motioned zipping his mouth…
"…this system has she had…?"
"About eight nights, according to Sheldon…Is that right, Sheldon?…" Amy eyed him…He nodded…
"Eight nights?..."
"She'd completed…Completed, Sheldon?..." Amy looked over…He nodded… "The full book of neural plug-ins…Even had time to repeat two as a test…"
"Lovely…" Leonard got up… "All right…She has to have a complete neurology work-up, which Sheldon is paying for…And you are arranging, Amy, with a legitimate medical neurologist…"
"I'm perfectly capable…" she began…
"A legitimate, medical neurologist…"
"Fine, right…" Amy sighed…
"Today…" Leonard frowned…
"A medical neurologist…Today?...Leonard…" Sheldon chuckled, ending abruptly at Leonard's icy stare…
"It can't be done with a full work-up today, Leonard…"Amy sighed… "It's not possible…But we can set up emergency tests and get the neurology work-up wagon rollin'…"
"All right…Amy, you start making calls…" Leonard frowned…. "I'll go speak to her…And as for Dr. Mengele, here…" he frowned at Sheldon… "Your fate is in her hands…And I will carry out any punishment she deems necessary…"
He stalked out a moment later, glaring at Sheldon…
"I help her with her drinking…I assist in reuniting lovers like some sci-fi version of Puck…And this is what one gets for trying to help a friend…" Sheldon sighed…
"The 'shut-up' ban is not lifted…" Leonard's voice, from the hall…
He re-entered to their stares… "She's gone…" he shook his head… Penny, who never left for anything before 11am…Up and out by 8:30…
"Really?..." Sheldon nodded… "So another behavioral treatment success…Amy, this process is going to revolutionize neurology…Perhaps even make it a Science worthy of a capital letter…
"It has a capital letter, Sheldon…" Amy noted, drily…
Hmmn…"Well, I guess they give one to all the junior sciences these days…"
"Will you people both shut up?..." Leonard, fuming again…
Flowers for Sheldon…"
Summary: Leonard and the gang discover Sheldon has taken advantage of Penny's request for help with her binge drinking to make needed improvements…
Disclaimer: BBT is all Chuck Lorre's…
Part VII…
Leonard and Sheldon's living room…All the gang with Amy assembled…
Waiting…Leonard's eyes on the clock…The others, eventually joining his stare…
"Twelve-thirty…Something's wrong…The audition was supposed to be at 9:30…" he fidgeted… "I'd better go over and see if she's all right…Amy?..."
"911 at a click of a button…A list of all neurosurgeons currently present in the city ranked in order of competence…Neurologist (medical/legitimate) on call" she held up Iphone…
"Ok, good…Be ready to call if any strange symptoms appear to be life- or mind- threatening but don't alarm her if she comes in…"
"I'll be the least alarming person in this room…" Amy nodded…
Which is even less difficult than usual…She noted to herself…Glancing round…
"I still say this isn't necessarily a hideous thing…" Raj interjected… "As Elizabeth Dana said in the second classic Star Trek pilot…The less 'cerebral' one…A mutated, superior human being could be a marvelous thing…"
"Indeed she is…" Howard, nodding…
"Penny is not 'mutated', Raj…" Leonard frowned…
"She isn't, is she?..." he eyed Sheldon and Amy… "Tell me no genetic manipulation was sorta 'thrown in'…"
"Leonard…" Sheldon, shocked tone… "That kind of experiment would be unethical…"
"Oh, now you have ethical sensibilities?..."
"Just to get the clearances for the animals would take months…" Sheldon noted… "And as my mother would say…God's little ones have no voice…Penny has a voice and that voice said… 'Sheldon, help me."…"
"Oh…You did it to 'help her…'?"
"We're here…And not on a plane to South America…" Amy helpfully noted…
Together…She did not say…
"Oh, please…" Leonard fumed… "You wanted a human guinea pig to 'preserve Sheldon's intellect'…And Penny seemed as good as another…"
"Not true…" Sheldon, annoyed… "With the plasticity of her personality and the emptiness of her mind, coupled to a rather surprisingly healthy physical chassis…Penny was the perfect subject…"
"Though my primary drive was a desire to help her…" he hastily added as Leonard rose up, furious…Raj and Howard moving to hold him back…
Amy, a bit peeved now, in turn… "Sheldon, you never said you'd evaluated Penny in such a detailed way…"
"It must have slipped my mind…But why are my motives suddenly being questioned?…I care about Penny as much as…" he eyed Leonard's glare… "Most of us…What, I can't be driven by my concern to go a little 'over the edge'?..."
"More like …Over a cliff, man…" Raj sighed…
"There wasn't any physical danger…That we knew of…And Penny agreed she needed help now…"
"Uh…" Leonard sighed… "That's not the point, Sheldon…And you don't know for sure if there are physical risks…For God's sake…You're a scientist…You know you can't extrapolate an outcome from a few animal tests and go work on human beings…"
"Actually we do it all the time…" Amy noted… "There's still no long-term data on botox effects for example and humans are all over the place, injecting themselves to get out those pesky wrinkles…"
"Enough…" Leonard waved hands… "I'm going to find her and make sure she's ok, and then we start testing her…And Sheldon…I'm telling you as a scientist and a colleague…Wipe that grin off your face…If anything happens to Penny…Anything remotely harmful…I'm going to the University…I mean it…" he eyed Sheldon coldly…
"Don't say that…" Sheldon, anxiously… "I love Penny…I'd never hurt her…She was in trouble…And I tried to help…" stricken face…
All staring…Sheldon?...
"I don't believe you…" Leonard, coldly…Moving to the door…
"Don't believe…I'm guessin' Sheldon?...About what?..." Penny's voice…
Leonard, having dismissed the lack of belief to a point about comic book trivia…The gang, by unspoken mutual agreement, was attempting to set Penny at ease while observing her…Sheldon waving Amy to pull out log notebook…
"So…How did the audition go?...Did we get the part?..." Howard hurrying over to where Penny stood, now just inside the door, to a T, the obsequious courtier to Her new Majesty…
"Pshaw, I know we did…How could they refuse us?...Might I take milady's jacket?...Oh, how lovely milady looks today…"
Leonard eyeing the others…Penny frowning…
"Back off a little, Howard…No offense…"
"Of course not, ma'am…A thousand pardons…" he sat back down…
Hmmn…Sheldon frowned… "Someone clearly wants a seat on the privy council of the new regime…" he noted to Amy…
"So…What's up, guys?..." Penny eyed the group now staring at her… "Want the lowdown or do I cut to the proverbial chase?..." beaming smile…
"So you did get the part?..." Leonard, smiling back… "And Howard's right…you do look lovely…"
"Indeed…Sexually attractive, yet amazingly understated…" Amy noted…
"Thanks…I wanted to look 'community theater classy'…Well…Sorta…As to the part…" she shrugged… "I'm the understudy…"
Phew…Now that sounds like our Penny…Collective thought but for Howard who glared…
"The vermin to deny you!..."
"Howard?...Enough…It's not funny now…" she eyed him…Waving him off… "And just a little creepy…"
He sighed, sitting back…
"Though not so much as usual, really…" warm smile…
All staring at her…
"Oh…" Howard choked tears back… "Oh, thank you, dear, dear Penny…Oh…Excuse me…!" he rose and raced toward the bathroom…
Leonard eyeing her…She shrugged…
"Suddenly seemed like it would take so little to make him happy…"
"Note the empathic progression…" Sheldon hissed to Amy, now taking notes…She nodding…
"Well…" Leonard paused to glare at Sheldon and Amy, collectively… "Understudy?...That's great…"
"Yeah…" Penny sat down next to him… "I could've have had the Nurse but it turned out Elisabeth Scranton was trying out for the part…The Elisabeth Scranton…" she noted…
"The old film actress?..." Leonard blinked… "For community theater?..."
"Hmmn-hmm…She hasn't been on the stage or before a camera in twenty years but her health's not so good and her doctors thought working on a part would perk her…And when I saw her there, struggling with the lines a little…"
"Wait…" Leonard looked at her… "You let her have the part and took understudy?..."
"It's only community theater, Leonard…And they made me assistant director…I guess I seemed to know the play pretty well…Really nailed it, actually…" she took a styrofoam cup on the coffee table and poured a glass of juice…Taking sip…
"Assistant director?..." Leonard, attempting a calm expression…
"See…" Raj noted quietly to the quietly returned Howard…Sorry all, just a little breakthrough on the childhood emotional abuse front… "I'd had no doubts it's being a good thing…Assuming it doesn't kill her…" Howard hissed back…
"Yeah…" she grinned… "Perhaps it was a kiddie production…" she eyed Sheldon… "That's what you were about to say, right?..."
He blinked, turning to the startled Amy…Good God…She anticipated my suave bon mot?...My clearly not so irrational fears and that bizarre dream fantasy this morning have grounding…
"No sweat, Sheldon…But what was really fantastic was our Juliet…Guys, this kid has tremendous talent…Though I could see she has some serious issues at home…I was working with her and I think I can help her bring forth her gift…" shaking head…
"Really?..." Leonard, choking a bit…
"Yeah…She has a natural sense of the part and an instinctive grasp of the nature of the character…She just needed someone to help her deal with problems in the text…"
"And who better than you?..." Leonard nodded… "To interpret Shakespearian text…"
"I felt like I was called to help that talent come forth…So when they asked me to be director…"
"Director?..." Leonard…Raj…Howard…
Sheldon, unfazed… Naturally…
"You said…"
"I couldn't take the director's job away from Toby…Toby Barrett…Their current director…He's not really up to the job but it's been his life for years now…" she shrugged… "But as assistant director, he's giving me carte blanche and I can shape the work and mold the cast better this way…Less confrontational, you know?..."
"Right…" Leonard nodded…
"Director would've been the only proper task for whatever fraction of my genius she's acquired…" Sheldon hissed to Amy, a bit peeved…
"So what are we up to?..." Penny glanced round…
"Oh…Just havin' brunch together…Shooting the breeze…Hanging out with the guys…Cutting the mustard…" Leonard, lamely…
"What?..."
"Why is he using all metaphors relating to use of deadly force…?" Sheldon hissed to Amy…
"I mean we're just having a nice time together…Glad you're back…Great news…" Leonard, hastily…
"Thanks…But the deadly force metaphors clinch it…" Penny sighed…Glancing round… "Sheldon told you, didn't he?...And Leonard's upset?..." she eyed them in turn…
"Really, guys…No sweat…I haven't noticed any effects at all, except I remember a few trivia bits from the tapes…And I'm focusing a little better…And I have cut back on the drinking…" she put up a hand…
"No effects?..." Leonard looked at her… "Penny…You designed a complete surveillance system for the apartment and built it out of Howard's stored old parts…In three hours…You can recite a complete part in Shakespeare…"
"Actually I recited the whole play…" she noted… "But I am an actress, Leonard…"
"And you aced Galactica…And our Sheldon Cooper intensive level trivia round…" Howard chimed in…
"This doesn't prove anything…" she shrugged… "I feel completely normal…And a little hungry…Raj, could you pass me that bagel?...You're not offering any conclusive data…But I love that you're concerned, honey…Leonard…Could we talk?..."
"Definitely…" he nodded… Rising… "But you are having a full evaluation…And 'conclusive data'?...That is not Penny-speak…"
"Why the hell not?..." she frowned… "I've picked up a lot of idiosyncratic bits from you guys…That's no evidence to suppose the process succeeded and my brain's operating on a higher level or that I've gained access to Sheldon's and the data set's accumulated knowledge…"
Is there?...She stared at the group…
"Penny…Lets talk, like you wanted…" Leonard suggested, taking her hand… "Amy, make that appointment…Please…"
"Excuse me?..." a deep male voice at the door… "I'm looking for your neighbor, a Ms. Penny…?"
"Hey!..." Penny called…Sheldon looking over, startled at the tall, gray-haired man in suit…
"Dr. Bradford Bentley, I presume…" he rose…Narrow-look…
"You…" Bentley stared back…Eyes likewise narrowing…
Penny stepping over… "Are you the Dr. Bentley I wrote to this morning?...On that string theory question?..."
"I am…" Dr. Bentley nodded… "But I see this was a joke by…Him…" he eyed Sheldon coldly…
"You wrote Bradford Bentley?...On string theory?..." Leonard stared…
"The paper his group put on line had a couple of errors…I just wanted to put them on the right track…" Penny explained, with smile to Dr. Bentley, still glaring at Sheldon… "Really, no big…"
Sheldon…Trembling…
"You gave Bradford Bentley…Pointers?...My pointers?..."
"Sheldon…" Penny gave casual wave… "In the cause of Science, there should be no boundaries or rivalries…"
"Bullcrap…" Dr. Bentley shrugged… "But if you really know your stuff as well as this note implies…I could use you on my team…"
"Well…" Penny reflected as the collective group stared…And Sheldon's jaw dropped in shock… "I do work and I am really busy these days…But I could squeeze in a little string time, I guess…" she grinned… "Though, really, Sheldon's the expert…"
"Devil-boy?...I'd never let him near my work…Or my lab…" Bentley frowned…
"It's a joke…"Amy, desperately, rising… "She's part of an elaborate deception on Sheldon's part to lure you into public humiliation…I'm sorry, Sheldon…Penny…But I must speak up…" Glance at Sheldon…
For you, my beloved…
Sheldon, staring…God…Woman…I…Love…You…
"I should've guessed…Very amusing…" Bentley shook his head… "Thanks for the review, though, Cooper…It actually did help…" he turned and left…
"Oh, wait…Dr. Bentley…" Penny rushed to the door… "There's another point I forgot to note…" she hurried out, Leonard racing after her…
"Penny!…"
Sheldon and Amy frozen, locked in mutual adoration stares…
Raj and Howard eyeing them…Then each other…
"So…Nice brunch, eh?..." Raj noted…
"Can't beat these bagels…" Howard agreed…