You just finished writing a letter for your sister, but you felt as if you just climbed three thousand steps of stairs and barely have the energy to get back down. Since when did writing a letter became such a chore? Even when you have been lying to your sister ever since you two were just little kids, it has never been easy. Especially when the thought of her looking at you with her big loving hazelnut eyes, as if she could do anything for you as long as you ask for it, your conscience was troubled.
It felt like you were betraying your own self. Twins have that kind of strange connection, like you two are actually halves of a soul.
The heaviness in your heart made you wonder how long you can keep up doing this, without stressing yourself out and having your plans being exposed.
You got up from the desk and went to the fridge, to grab some pre made ice coffee and a freshly baked sweet potato from the oven. Putting everything down next to your computer, you signed. If only you can get rid of those memories from your head, you rather be a forgetful idiot than be a genius who could never forget every events happened in your life. Having a good memory could be a good thing, but who would wanna relive those bad days every time they think about it? Like, literally see and feel everything again, in the present. And having to lie about things to your most beloved family.
Even though you two are twins but you know the two of you are very different. She's a tough and wise woman, who knows exactly what she's doing both in life and work. And she knows how to earn respect from the people around her, by always being fair and square, while maintaining a right amount of empathy at the right moments. At the same time, you know your sister is not as strong as she looks. Ever since she was a kid she has been building up a wall between her weak self and everyone else. She has always trying to persuade herself into believing that she actually has nothing to hide, and no problems to deal with, and ended up believing her own lies. In your eyes, your sister is someone who actually needs protection, not you. That's why you chose to keep the secrets away from her.
The secrets about why your parents divorced, the real reason behind those lies. After that accident you also pretend as if you also lost memories like your twin sister. So it could somehow lift the burden from your parents' chests, that they could slowly come to accept the accident and move on. It was definitely not easy on you, at all, pretending like you completely forgot about the existence of another being in your family, while holding in the pain and horror you witnessed during the accident. Crying behind the masks was what you have to live with just so your parents, especially your Father could at least feel at ease and pretend nothing happened. Or so you thought.
Now that you think back, that was a ridiculously stupid thinking to have. Having both the kids losing their memories, and one went missing after the car accident that he was the driver, your Father's heart could never be at ease. No parent would. Even though your Mother was also heartbroken, and having her mental torn apart, she indeed was a very strong woman. For her to stand by your father and forgive him, and to accept his request. He desperately believed that she's still alive and swore that until he found the child, he couldn't face your mother and everyone in the family. So he made your mother lies that he was a jerk so they decided to divorce. And your mother looked after you and your sister until both of you turned 18 and then decided to travel around the world.
And that too, was a lie. You know that she follows your father to look for your long lost sister. And her name is Rika.