"Oh!", Heinz paced back and forth nervously infront o f the resteraunt. "Why do I have to be like this EVERY date?"

His stomach was in a knot since that morning but with every hour closer to the date, it only tightened, making him feel literally sick. Every time he dated a girl he would get like this and since no date really ended in true pleasure, it only made him fear that it would happen again. Try as the man might to keep his head on his shoulders, it always wanted to fall off at the smallest of things.

Elsewhere in the city, Perry was equally anxious about the ordeal. Her nemeis. Her FREAKING NEMESIS! And she had to DATE him! She couldn't tell if it was the anxiety or if she was just getting carsick as Monogram pulled up into the parking lot. Once 6 o'clock rolled by, Perry was just about ready to scream at the mere mention of dinner and she yelped when she saw Monogram's car pull up at the apartment. And now they were pulling up. 7:30 pm and she felt ready to die.

After the car pulled into a lot and Monogram briefed her once again to keep the conversation light and to be ready to be picked up at exactly 9 in that specific location.

"It's just a first date. I don't fully expect him to propose so just make sure there'll be a second tonight.", Monogram was saying as she stared out the window nervously. "And try not to blow your cover."

"Yes Sir.", she replied quietly.

"Alright then. Good luck Agent P.", Monogram nodded.

She gave a nod and headed out. When she came up to the doors of the resturaunt, she couldn't help but smile a bit as she saw Heinz patiently sitting on a bench nearby, tapping his foot and staring down at the sidewalk. When she came closer, he glanced up, wondering who was coming by, but quickly looked back down again.

'It couldn't be her.', the thought-balloon over his head said, making her smile a bit more.

Perry knew him all too well to guess anything else and was perfectly on the mark. She decided to play "innocent" in this situation and putting on a cute smile, she walked over to him, catching his attention once again.

"Excuse me. I have a blind-date with a 'Strudelcutie4427'. Are you him?", she asked almost shyly.

As soon as the name had began to be said, Heinz's eyes grew wide with shock. Of all the people in the online-dating world, THIS was his date? This thin, young-looking, raven-haired, beauty wearing a dark blue, long-sleeved dress? Was HIS date?

'Okay, what's her mental disorder?', Heinz began to wonder, feeling like he was going to be seeing his dinner after the date. "Y-yes!"

He almost leapt from his seat as he stood up.

"I.. uh, I-I'm Heinz Doofenshmirtz.", he said shakily, holding out a hand to shake.

She smiled and accepted the offer when she suddenly realized she hadn't come up with a cover-name for her yet.

"I'm... Uh... I'm-I'm uh..", she started to stammer, trying to find a name on the spot.

Heinz looked at her curiously, wondering if she was just nervous or if there was something else.

"Er...J-Janette!", she finally said smiling again and praying he would fall for it. "Janette Karl. Jane for short."

He smiled again, relaxing some and said, "Jane? That's beautiful. I love that name."

She relaxed a bit more herself and they walked inside. Once seated and took their orders, conversation was in need of being brought up. But aside from the awkwardness of Jane's part and Heinz's nervousness, one huge issue was brought between the two as is normally the case. What subject?

'I can't just go on and say, 'Sorry I haven't seen you in the half year. I had to climb mountains' nor ask anything about him. I'm undercover!', she thought desperately for a subject when suddenly the other popped up with something instead.

"It-It's kinda weird huh?", Heinz suddenly asked, blushing a bit. "Y-you talk online a lot but all of a sudden, when the screen's not there it's like.. Pff! Pow! Y-You can't uh.."

"Can't find anything to talk about?", Jane asked, wanting to laugh some.

"Exactly. Yeah. I mean.. We've already talked a good deal about each other.. What can we really say?", he shrugged.

"W-well I can't really think of much to ask cause... Well cause it's a first time for me really.", she shrugged. "Don't exactly know how things go."

The man stared at her. A complete "What the snot are you talking about?" written all over him. Suddenly the statement that Jane had just said, felt like a terrible thing to mention.

"Wait... How old are you again?", he asked, completely bewildered.

"Um...", quickly doing the math as every human year equaling 7 platypus years. "About...35."

"So.. You're a THIRTY-FIVE year-old woman, and this is your first date?", he asked, now more lost than ever.

"Um.. P-protective...family.", she quickly lied. "My uh.. My..."

'What's Carl to you?', she asked, knowing that was her new roomate, lied-family, and thusly, needed a place in the tree to be responsible for this shocking news. 'He's only a teenager...'

"My brother.", she finally said with a shrug, earning something a bit softer from the other. "A REALLY protective...and embarrassing...little brother."

After a moment of thinking it over, Heinz's expression relaxed more and he smiled a bit with a small nod.

"Yeah. That... Wow. He must be REALLY protective.", he pondered.

"W-well my uh...Dad..", Jane continued, instantly thinking of Francis for this role. "Y-you know controlled a lot of my teen years."

"Ah! Yeah. I know how that is.", Heinz finally smiled more genuinely and gave a knowledgable nod. "Okay.. Well.. Gosh. Now I feel kinda bad. This is like, the upteenth online date I've had."

"Oh no! No no that's actually good cause uh..", she stammered some more, knowing she had to keep him feeling good for this. "Cause well since it's my first, maybe.. Maybe dating someone more experienced will help me...uh.."

"Learn how it goes?", Heinz asked, hoping he chose his words right.

"Took the words right out of my mouth.", she smiled, being a little astonished he knew what to say.

The ice between them had broken and for the majority of dinner, things went rather smoothly. And for once, Jane had found herself to be wrong. She had expected a whiny brat complaining non-stop about his family and how bad his life was in which case she'd have to coddle him and pretend to care. Instead, Heinz said very little, if not advoided speaking of his family. And when asked, he said he loved them very much, just that there wasn't much to say. He surpsied her, in a way. He wasn't like he was when she fought him and for a split second Jane wondered if he was even the same Heinz Doofenshmirtz she saw six months ago. He was careful to not make mistakes. He was attentive and, dared she even say it? Almost nice. Jane knew the man wasn't entirely evil, but the dinner had really caught her attention with something she hadn't expected. He was hopeful the date would end well, that was for sure, but Jane got the feeling that things weren't going to be as bad as she first considered. When Dinner was over, the two walked about town for a bit. Still talking, it suddenly became a great means of entertainment to the silent woman. Heinz had managed to make her laugh, but only when he goofed up and accidentally ran into a tree when he was imitating one of his musical numbers. This, brought up thorough embarrassment, fast and furiously for the man as his face turned red.

"I-I'm sorry. I-I know I'm a goof.", he began to say quickly.

"No no! Heinz! That was good!", Jane said, waving it aside. "It was timed perfectly with the song! I loved it!"

"R-really?", he asked, surprised by her good humor. "Y-you weren't just laughing cause you thought I was an idiot?"

"Honest! I was laughing cause it was timed so good.", she said, finally helping him up. "You were just saying you were ontop of the world and what do you do? A silly thing like running into a tree. Not laughing at you, just laughing at the timing. Like you planned it."

He smiled some, relieved to be hearing this. He thought for a moment and then smiled a bit more.

"I could run into it again, if it'll make you laugh more.", he joked.

"No no. If you're gonna do it on purpose, I'll just call you a masochist.", she laughed, shaking her head.

Time became short and her curfew came close. Heinz offered to drive her home since "her brother car pooled her" and the ride was fairly plesent though she had to keep from laughing as the memory of him wearing ledderhosen and showing her as a platypus came back to her.

When they pulled up in the driveway he asked, "So... Did you have a good time?"

"...Honestly? It's been a great time.", she said with a smile.

He smiled a bit more himself and after a moment's hesitation, leaned closer, closing his eyes. She knew straight from the get-go that he was planning on kissing her. It was what EVERYONE who went on a date did in her soaps. But the sudden idea of kissing her NEMSIS, suddenly made her guts knot up. But if she pulled away, he'd be discouraged and wouldn't go out again and fall for the bait. Jane took a deep breath, shut her eyes tight, and prepared for a horrible ending.

'It's gonna be gross! He's gonna have snake-lips! It's going to be disgusting and I'm gonna MURDER Monogram for it later because it's-! He's-!', she thought until their lips met and her eyes fluttered open in astonishment.

Maybe it was because he used to be married. Maybe it was because he's been on so many failed dates. Maybe he had a lot of practice with a pillow as a teenager. But whatever the case was, it wasn't as bad as she expected. In fact...if Jane didn't know any better...it was...nice. It was really nice. But as she sighed and closed her eyes, giving more into the touch, she was suddenly pulled closer and hugged. All at once memories of her owners hugging her tightly and stroking her fur rushed back to the once-been platypus and with it added to the hug she recieved now, the pain of her heartbreak came back and was quickly trampeled on the appreciation and much desire that filled her as she laced her arms around him, pulling closer. Tears escaped her eyes and when Heinz broke them up and looked back, worry and fear quickly flooded him.

"Jane, are you crying? I'm sorry! I-I know it's your first time but I-I-"

"No! No. No no. Heinz..", she said, shaking her head. "I-I'm sorry but... It's just... It suddenly feels like a huge...weight's been lifted off."

She looked back at him, eyes sparkling with the overflow of tears.

"Thank you.. So much..", she said quietly before hugging him again, burieing her face into his chest.

Jane had been away from society for 2 months, scaling a mountain. She re-entered when she got to Owca's base 2 weeks after coming back down from said mountain. And during her return home she hasn't had much physical contact. Even from Carl. They danced, but they didn't hug. They certainly didn't kiss. The sudden revival of this reminded the woman how much she had missed it. How much she loved it and desired it. It almost tore her heart to go inside but she knew that Francis would be furious if she was home late from her first-date. As a platypus, Perry had never had a mate. The most love the platypus felt was from the Flynn-Fletchers. As a woman, she was suddenly surrounded in it and suddenly became much more grateful. It wasn't until she came into the room she was reminded who exactly she was grateful to.

"So how'd your date go?", Carl asked as soon as she walked in the front door.

Jane only sighed dreamily, wiping away another tear. She paused as she looked out the window and watched for a moment as Heinz's car pulled out into the busy street. Her smile widened and she walked to the kitchen, absent mindedly.

"...Perry?", Carl asked again, slightly louder.

"Hm? Oh! Sorry! Carl, my human name's Jane. Just thought of it at dinner.", she said quickly.

"Oh. Jane. Kay. So, JANE, how did the date go?", he said slowly and clearly.

"Oh! It was great! Oh my gosh, Carl I haven't ever seen Heinz like this!", she said happily. "He was sweet. He was caring. He paid good attention to me. Y'know, if I hadn't had to see him for the last 5 years, I would've sworn you guys sat me up with some other man but he was SO...different! It's like he's changed over the last half-year. I can barely believe it!"

"Did he buy you were some random girl and NOT Perry the Platypus?", Carl asked.

This, caught her off guard a moment before her mission suddenly came back to her mind. Her smile faded some and she looked back, almost alarmed.

"Oh... Oh um.. Y-yes. Yeah, he..he knew I was...He knew I was Jane. Not Perry.", she said, smiling a bit.

Carl noticed the sudden change in her demeanour and pondered this a moment.

"...Jane, are you okay?", he asked. "You seem...weird."

"Weird? Pfft! Ho-how can I be weird?", she said, nervously as she played with her hair.

"...Did you guys kiss?", Carl asked with a shrug, as if changing the topic.

"...Yes.", she said, smiling more to herself as her cheeks grew warm. She gave a sigh and continued. "And it was soo..."

"AHA!", Carl said, suddenly, pointing a finger at her. "Agent Perry the Platypus! You've fallen in LOVE with HEINZ DOOFENSHMIRTZ!"

A wide, teasing smile was on the young boy's face and Jane made the mistake and was quick to react.

"WHAT? No! No!", she said, shaking her head. "N-No! I'm not in love with Heinz!"

"Yes you are! You're rambling about him, sighing and smiling dreamily, and now you're in denial! You're SO in love with him!", the boy continued, almost sounding like a teenage girl who was a sister to Jane.

"N-no! No! Carl I CAN'T be in love with him! That's exactly what Monogram said NOT to do!", she said, a hand over her mouth in horror. "If he finds out about this, he's going to have my head!"

"But it's true! You've fallen for your nemesis! Wow, you dropped fast.", Carl suddenly noted, almost astonished.

"Carl, you have GOT to promise me you won't tell Monogram!", she said quickly, pleading to him. "Please!"

"But then I-"

"Carl! Come on! I-I-I consider you as part of my family! Please! Don't tell him! If I lose this job, who else is gonna hire a platypus as a secret agent? It's all I've known!", she begged, literally BEGGED him.

Carl was slightly surprised. He was now in a position of actually being ABOVE a secret agent! Here she was. The best, smartest, toughest, greatest agent of the organization, on her KNEES pleading he would keep this a secret. After thought he smiled and agreed. And it was from that moment on, that they had kept their secret. The next day, Perry the Platypus was put into work as usual and Heinz would ramble on about what had happened over the last six months. Particularly fond of retelling the platypus of his recent love-life. As Perry sat there, hearing the tale of their date, the platypus smiled a bit, happy to hear the compliment Heinz was accidentally doling out as he spoke. For the next 6 months, it was their norm. The nights they were freed up, Heinz and Jane went on dates. The days were spent into their normal lives of good vs. evil and Perry made sure to not slip and fight off the evil that he saw. However, three months into the dating and Heinz had pretty much given up being evil. He explained it to Perry one day himself.

"I mean, she's a cop for crying out loud!", he was saying as Perry nodded. "I-If I really love her, I shouldn't be like this should I? I.. I shouldn't BE evil...right?"

Perry gave a shake of the head, smiling more so.

"Right. So.. So you won't hate me even more if I gave up evil will you?", he asked, knowing of the wonderful hate-filled friendship they shared. "I mean, you're not gonna think I'm just turning my back on you or that I care more about love than I hate you, right?"

Another, more excited, shake of the head and Heinz smiled a bit more and relaxed.

"Thank you Perry the Platypus.", he sighed, gratefully.

It was now Summer time once again. Perry woke up up in the bed again and looked about the apartment. Today Heinz was taking Jane out to the park. The platypus had to get ready. Heinz also woke up in a good mood. In an excited mood. Last night confirmed it. This woman had stayed with him for the last six months. She had loved him longer than Charlene did after they were married and she loved him more than any other woman. Today, Heinz was wanting to do something really nice for Jane. Something more special than just a walk in the park. But if he was planning on doing something great...

'I have GOT to get a shower first..', he thought to himself as he caught a glance in the bathroom mirror.

Showered, fed, dressed good, and with a boquet of flowers in hand, he was supposed to pick Jane up after her work. But he thought a little surprise pop-over would be a nice thought. He pulled up to the police station he was told she worked at and stopped for a moment. The only time he was here was when he was jailed with Dr. Diminuative. It felt a little weird to openly waltz right in with his bad history. But with the memory of his beloved Jane, he smiled, braved himself, and walked in. In the office, looking about some, a few of the police there couldn't help but noticed the lost-looking man and one decided to come over.

"Can I help you with something Sir?", she asked.

"Oh. Um.. Well is Jane Karl here? I-I was just wanting to drop by and say 'hi'.", he explained with a slight smile.

"Jane Karl?", the woman repeated with a confused look on her face. "Sir, I've worked here for a long time. There's NEVER been a woman named JANE KARL working here."

His eyebrows furrowed together.

"Never? That's...weird... She told me so herself.", he said, earning a shrug.

"I don't know who told you a crazy story like that but you've got the wrong place to find a woman named Jane Karl.", the woman said.

"Oh.. Um.. S-sorry. Didn't mean to bother anyone.", he stammered, quickly walking out of the room as his face grew hot.

How on earth did he make that mistake? Maybe he remembered the station wrong? Maybe she was fired and embarrassed to say? Whatever the case was, there was ONE thing he knew was right and that was where Jane lived. He could drive over and ask her himself.

The woman in question, was indeed at home. Prepareing to go on her mission after she confirmed with Francis what would be happening and getting her daily reminder that she needs to encourage marriage soon.

"Don't worry Sir.", she was saying. "It's going to go just fine."

Heinz then pulled into the parking lot and went to building. He climbed up the stairs to the door he knew was hers but paused as he heard a familiar voice. A VERY familiar voice. One he'd never be able to mistake.

"Well I'm just saying, we are on a tight-shift and if this goes over good, there's still others we could do.", Major Monogram was saying

"Sir, don't worry. Doofenshmirtz is like putty in the palm of my hand.", Jane said, suddenly making the man himself choke on his gasp of horror. "Just you wait. A few more dates and he'd be begging for my hand in marriage."

"Another villain, safely put out of harm's way, eh Sir?", the unpaid intern was saying. HE was in on this too?

"Exactly Carl.", the major seemed pleased as Heinz listened more carefully, hoping this wasn't true. "Agent P, I'd wish you good luck but with your human disguise and these last six months, I think you have enough of it."

His heart was shattered. It cracked when he heard Jane- no.. Agent P. PERRY'S voice. PERRY THE PLATYPUS was JANE! That's what made Heinz's heart shatter. He could literally feel the pain as he heard still more a thank you from the platywoman though her voice seemed so far away. He looked down at the flowers in his hand, the pain gnawing away at him. He threw them down and ran out of the building as fast as he could. Tears flooded in his eyes. Heartache weighing heavy in his chest. He had been lied to. For the last six months, his nemesis had lied to him. For the last six months, he had fallen in love with his nemesis, Perry the Platypus!

Sorry about the lack of postiong anything on this story! I've been tied up with so many other things, I can't count them all. I'm working fast and furious to catch up now though. Most of the story's been cut off because I wanna get this done but I'm gonna write up all the deleted scenes from my stories and post that somewhere else so I'm not gonna ramble on about it here. Enjoy! Please review!