Okay so here is another chapter hope you enjoy :). Thank you for the review I have tried to do better with my spelling and grammar I just have so much to say sometimes and just spill it out onto the page so I don't always make sense sorry done my best this time and checked it a few times, tell me how i have done?
If you like please review :)
JJ
I ran out of the police station as fast as I could sprinting all the way home not looking back. I wanted to forget what had just happened I didn't want it to be real I was so enraged with it all I couldn't handle it.
I didn't know who that was back then, who pinned Cook against the wall and yelled at him for something what wasn't even his part taking. He didn't cause Foster to kill Freddie, so why did I blame him.
I thought we were happy, we were happy right? Freddie finally had Effy, Cook got over his love for her and we were the musketeers once more. The tension was stopping us from going back to normal though they thought I didn't notice it but I did the fact that Freddie stole the only girl Cook ever loved
"Jeremiah, so glad you're here can you just help me with the shopping" My mum cheerfully said as I pushed past her, my hands in my pocket and my head down
"Excuse me mister"" she screeched "What do you think you're doing?"
I ignored her as she carried on screaming her voice being blocked out when I slammed my door shut sliding down it as I closed my eyes breathing out air in frustration, she didn't have a clue
"JJ, you alright?" the voice of my girlfriend relaxing me until I tensed up realising she was in my room
"Lara?" I responded confused to what she was doing in my room, not that I minded.
I looked up seeing her sitting on my bed, I didn't know whether to answer her question to if I was alright, no I wasn't but I thought it was best to just not tell her in case I got angry and took it out on her
"Yes I am fine, just… mum being annoying that's all" I quipped trying to sound as normal as possible
"Good, do you not remember you said I could come round to yours today, your mum said you weren't in but would be back soon so I should just wait in your room and here I am" she informed me sounding a bit embarrassed at the end. I must of looked confuse as she added
"Shit did you forget, you look surprised at me being here, maybe I should just leave" she grabbed her coat and bag and stood up as I got up as well. She grabbed the door knob as I placed my hand on hers
"Don't be silly, sorry I was at this thing and I took longer than I expected, of course you should stay we got time alone without the baby I think we should appreciate it"
She relaxed as she let go of the door knob still clutching my hand
"What have you in mind of how to appreciate the time then?" she questioned raising an eyebrow. I stepped closer towards her wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her in for a passionate kiss
"How rude of me I haven't said hello yet" I spoke between the gaps of the kissing
"I think we can let that one go" she joked as we both grinned pulling away from yet another amazing kiss with her
Thomas
I marched up her drive not looking back I didn't want to chicken out from what I was about to do. I was sick of this I was sorry and I she knew it, I had tried everything apologising over and over, making her jealous, pretending I don't notice her but now I wanted to get her attention she needed to know how I truly felt and what I wanted
I knocked on the door as her mum answered
"Hello Thomas haven't seen you in a while, have you come to see Panda?" she asked her voice as polite as always
"Yes I have, is she in" I asked impatient for the answer as I kept glancing at the stairs
"Why yes she is but…"
I interrupted her as I stepped past her and rushed up the stairs letting my adrenalin rush take over bursting through her bedroom door
There she was sat next to Effy as they both lay on her bed I didn't take much notice to Effy and didn't look at panda straight in the face I was too scared
"Thomas what are you…"
Once again I interrupted another person today
"Panda I have come here because I need to let you know, you need to know how I feel about you. I love you panda I can't stop thinking about you, us. You're the only person who means so much like this to me I was a dick panda because I threw it all away but I didn't mean for it to happen if I could I would go back in time and change it so that you and me never broke up but I am afraid that is not possible so that is why I am here to beg for your forgiveness like I forgave you when you screwed Cook. I finally realised how much you mean to me, when we were in Freddie's shed talking about university and I thought that I could never leave without you saying goodbye in my arms then you touched my hand and I felt the spark you can't deny it; it's still their panda , please panda can we start again?" I brought up all my courage to do that I hope I was not about to be knocked down
A tear escaped my eye as I looked deeply into pandas eyes, her mascara had run and her eyes were red she wasn't crying because of what I had just said, so what was she crying for?
"Thomas" she yelled as she ran into my arms I tightly hugged her not wanting to let go, resting my face on her shoulder taking in a good smell of her; the smell that I loved.
She held me but took her head back so she could look at me face to face
"Thomas I love you" she whispered, that's all it took for me to be happy again to know she still had the same feelings
She looked back at Effy who had also been crying her eyes red raw, I was confused
"What is going on?" I asked
"Freddie's dead Thommo, John foster murdered him" she replied tears filling up quickly in her eyes
All the happiness was suddenly sucked out of me as Panda said those words I thought it was all a dream, all too good for Panda to forgive me so there had to be something to drag me back down. I didn't know what to say I wasn't that close to Freddie.
Panda pulled me in for a tight hug I didn't even relies a vast amount of tears were running down my cheeks as she whispered soothingly into my ear.
Was I upset I couldn't grasp what emotion I was going through I mean I was so happy panda still loved me to but then to find out someone you knew was murdered was saddening
"Effy came round to tell me, she had just been at the police station with Cook who was found by the police beating up John Foster then Cook told everyone that Freddie was dead, then JJ came and got angry and pinned Cook against the wall, can you believe it! It's so sad Thommo I am so glad you're here, I really need you Thomas"
"I am here Panda, I am here" I muttered still in shock
"Cooks been arrested, JJ's gone mental and Freddie's dead" she cried as I embraced her even tighter
"It…it's not fair" I stuttered
"Life's not fair" Effy stated as she got up and walked to the door "so glad you to are back together, perfect timing" she said sarcastically
"Effy wait" Panda cried when Effy began to walk of
"No panda, I won't" she spat out as she walked down the stairs. Panda flinched to go after her but I held her even tighter locking her in my arms its best to just leave her she was pissed because Freddie had died, the person she loved and here I am rubbing panda and mines love for each other in her face.
It was harsh what I had done I shouldn't of hugged her right in front of Effy but I was so happy she loved me to
I felt like I had just stolen Panda of Effy when she needed her most I was such a jerk
"Happy for you two fucking love bunnies" she yelled as she reached the bottom of the stairs
"She's mad at me Thommo, and I don't know why" Panda whispered worriedly. I loved how innocent Panda was and that she didn't have a clue
"We made her upset, she's lost her love of her life and then she had to watch us happy in love" I explained to her
"Oh…" she muttered "your right Thomas"
"I am" I asked
"Yeah, we are in love" she smiled facing me as I grinned back
Gently stealing a kiss from her lips, she cheekily smiled at me after pulling back then all of a sudden she jumped on me forcing us both to fall back as she kissed me again and again passionately on the lips
Naomi
I lay with Emily on the sofa snuggled up together, a blanket covering both of us as we relaxed comfortably in each other's arms.
We had decided against going out and partying due to the events of today of finding out one of our friends had been murdered and Cook in the middle of a break down along with Effy the thing what angered me was the police didn't let me help him instead they shooed me off after I got the information out of Cook, there pricks the lot of them
My thoughts were broken after Emily started screaming at the T.V
"Take a gamble, RISK IT!"
"Ems…babes they can't hear you" I chuckled adoring her cuteness
She playfully hit me as she giggled
"I know but it's just frustrating that she's come on the show and not even playing the game properly" she yelled
I loved how worked up she was getting over a Game show on TV, it was deal or no deal, or maybe something else I wasn't really paying attention it was pretty shit whatever it was
"Nah she shouldn't, I would just walk out of there with the money, I hate taking risks" I commented receiving a glare of Emily
"Well good thing you're not on the show then, you would be crap" she mocked as we both giggled it was true I would be
"No…" Emily roared as the women on the show decided to take the money "Stupid cow"
I smirked as she flustered her hands in the air through annoyance
"It's okay it means the 'stupid cow' won't win as much as the rest of the people who have the balls to take a risk" I reassured her
"Does that mean you don't have a pair of balls because you're scared of taking a risk" she joked
"I am afraid so Emsy…" I replied smiling at her as she placed a quick peck on my lips before turning back to the telly
"That's not too bad though" she added as I rested my head into her shoulder nuzzling my nose into her as she pulled away from the tickle then resting back to me as I closed my eyes blanking out the noise of the T.V and just smelling the Beautiful red head I was resting upon, The smell what I lived for as I felt her chest raise and fall as she breathed beneath me.
"You're the only risk I'll ever take Ems" I muttered into her tender neck I felt her grin in the joy of my words. Nothing else was said, nothing else was needed to be said she understood what I meant. How she was a risk, well at first she was when I didn't know I was gay or straight or anything and I took my chances and let Emily love me, and me love her back and that was the best decision so far in my life!
I fell deeply into a peaceful sleep, Emily gently playing with my hair; the one thing she knew I loved while we snuggled
Katie
"She just stormed off Katie after telling me what happened, she had the crazies in her eyes, I went loopy with worry as she cried I never seen her like that it was like I was talking to a monkey I had never met before she was whooped up with emotion" Panda informed me as I sipped my cup of tea trying to work out what she just said
"She got really upset when Thomas showed up and declared how much he loved me, isn't that right Thommo?" Panda added as she squeezed Thomas's hand as he looked up at me, he looked really guilty nodding then he began to speak
"Maybe it wasn't the best time for me to do it" He admitted, I smiled at him reassuring him
"It's okay Thomas she's just a bit upset, she really did care about Freddie; we all did"
I had gone to Panda's house after Effy ran off when we left the room were cook informed us about Freddie's death she was still in tears as she sprinted of, I was worried sick about her and needed to find her.
I thought she would come see Panda as she was her best friend; I was right just a bit too late.
When I turned up and knocked on the door Thomas opened the door…shirtless to my surprise then Panda came rushing behind him laughing and giggling, clawing her hands all over Thomas's open flesh but suddenly stopped when Thomas nudged her to let her know I was stood watching in the shock, when the hell had they got back together I had thought.
Ten minutes later I was seating on the couch in Pandas front room as Thomas handed me some tea as I began my question on where Effy was.
I didn't stay long, didn't want to hold up Thomas and Pandas great reunion sex
Cringe
I still was in the same place as I had begun, at not having a clue of were Effy was I didn't stop my searching I needed to find her nobody could trust her to not do anything stupid I knew she still would do something like over dose or drink too much or even split her wrists again, this time Freddie wasn't there to be her knight in shining armour, I had to be me since everyone else were wrapped up in love
I knocked; a shot of pain through my knuckles as I hit the wooden door hoping someone was in, I knocked louder than necessary as the door flung open before I could knock again
"Shhh…Naomi has just fallen asleep, you will wake her up" Emily hissed as she gestured for me to go into the house as I did
"What are you her fucking baby sitter now" I scoffed though Emily didn't find the humour of it as she threw glares at me
"No… Naomi's just been twitching and fidgeting all evening she's worried sick of Cook" she replied turning the conversation suddenly serious as I looked down at my shoes
"Well she's not the only one" I whispered
"What? Since when do you give a fuck about Cook?"
"I just do okay, he's a friend and I don't like people having to go through shit" I admitted truthfully rather annoyed as she mocked me
"Ha… funny that; when I had problems you enjoyed every minute of it" Emily spat out.
It hurt to hear her say it but it hurt even more because it was true. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I quickly grabbed for Emily embracing her in a hug as I dug my face into her shoulder hiding my tears.
She was taken back but then after a moment returned the embrace as she wrapped her arms round me kissing my head
"It's okay Katie" she whispered
"It's not" I muttered "I was supposed to look after Effy and I can't even fucking do that, she ran off and I have been trying to find her for hours but she's just disappeared what if she's gone done something stupid!" I added pulling away from her grasp starting to worry even more
"Hey don't think like that, Effy's strong she will get through this, you have been helping her. She probably just needed some time alone you know to think about it all. She knows you're here for her and that's at least something just give her a chance to realise what is happening. She's a very clever girl you just got to trust that she will keep herself safe"
"I screw everything up and I just don't know any more everything was so amazing but now it's crumbled around me. I wanted everything to be perfect but now one of my friends is dead another one is mentally unstable everyone seems to find love so easily except me and I can't have kids!" I yelled regretting to say about the kids bit because I suddenly remembered that I hadn't told many people yet including Emily
"Katie…what do you mean you can't have kids?" she asked looking at me I didn't know what to say I didn't want her to find out like this. Tears stroked across my cheeks as I began to shake ever so slightly
"Katie…please tells me" she added remaining calm as I looked away from her and down to my feet. She gently put her hands around my face using her thumbs to wipe away my tears
"I went to see the doctors, I fucking thought I was pregnant Ems…but I was wrong, so wrong. They told me I had premature menopause, I can't have children of my own…ever" I finally admitted as I threw myself to the ground sobs of tears
"Katie don't do this to yourself, your one of the strongest people I fucking know, I have always admired that in you. You will get through this…it's alright Katie it's all going to be alright" Emily bent down wrapping herself round me so tightly
"But how will someone ever love me when I can't have children with them" I questioned knowing she wouldn't truly have the answer but I just needed something to hold on
"Babes love doesn't work like that, it unconditional and if they do leave you because of something like that then that's their loss you're an amazing person Katie it just means it wasn't meant to be, you will find that perfect man one day" she assured me as she gently stroked my back relaxing me and murmuring soft words into my ears
We stayed like that for about ten minutes until my legs didn't feel like jelly and I was able to keep my balance
"Come on Effy will be fine for tonight; it's too cold to go searching. Stay here you can sleep in the spare room call mum and tell her you're staying with me and Naomi. You can have a nice hot bath you must be freezing raiding the streets for the past few hours" she decide.
The offer did sound nice and it did mean that she didn't have to get on a bus full of drunks just to get back to the caravan we were living in at the moment
"Will Naomi mind?" I asked remembering the so called sleeping beauty Emily was in love with
"She is passed out on the sofa; I don't think she will mind. Plus she's starting to warm up to you Katie" she smiled at me as I chuckled at the thought of how Naomi and me used to be oral enemies but not anymore she was funny and a good laugh as long as she didn't hurt Emily again I would be willing to be friends
"Okay its sounds great" I grinned as she took my hand pulling me towards the stairs
"Thanks Emily" I whispered giving her another hug for my appreciation
"You're always welcome Katie" she cheerfully added as she kissed the top of my head. I did love her, she was an amazing sister but I would never admit it to her she might get to full of herself, I chuckled at the thought of it
"Look at me sleeping in the lesbo shack, who would of thought hey" I giggled as she gave me a glare but then smirking as we both became over whelmed in laughter
Effy
I had run away from my troubles, I had never ran away tony taught me to be brave and face it all with a smirk and an attitude to scare my problems away; That wasn't going to work this time though.
I had nowhere to go everyone was in fucking love anywhere. Anywhere I would go there would be something pushing in my face that my love was dead the 'one' as people called it was now stone cold and probably being poked with a stick to find out how he died.
I final decided where I was to go, the other person who had 'ran away', maybe he would understand how I felt. He also had loads of mango juice and I was thirsty with all the crying I did. I think I let out all the liquid in my body, I needed to refill
I knocked on the door and waited patiently as it opened revealing the frizzy haired weirdo I was expecting
"Effy…what are you doing here?" JJ questioned surprised with my sudden appearance
"Now JJ don't be rude its cold outside, aren't you going to invite me in" I blocked out his question by asking my own
"Yes of course "He replied blinking his eyes as if still trying to figure out if it was reality.
He moved out the way letting me squeeze past into the tight corridor and out the cold night air it was about 9 O'clock I am surprised JJ wasn't in bed.
I went through to his kitchen slumping down onto a chair that was part of his dining table, I was shattered
"Why are you here Effy?" he asked me; I thought I had escaped this question, obviously not
"We found out that are friend had died today JJ, do you remember?" I mocked locking eyes with him
"Ah…I…I…do" he stuttered, as I stared deeply into his eyes before he looked away
"It wasn't Cook's fault" I informed him as I placed my legs up onto the table making myself at home
"I know…but someone had to take the blame" He whispered looking down at his shoes
"The blame goes to John Foster" I mentioned keeping my cool as I said the name of the man who murdered Freddie with disgust
"But Cook wasn't there for him" he exclaimed
"Neither were you!" I had a sudden temper. I felt bad for Cook he was always the bad guy
"But I am useless fucking JJ" he indicated
"No JJ, I bet your girlfriend will disagree with that since you were fucking her instead of saving Freddie" I bellowed as he jumped back in horror
"Your right I should have been there, I was a crap friend, stupid fucking cunt I am not a good friend, and Freddie died because of me" He expressed tugging at his curls on his head
"No JJ, I wasn't saying it was your fault but it wasn't Cooks either" I explained standing up and opening up the fridge, pulling out a fresh carton of mango juice pouring a glass and handing it to the sobering boy leaning against the counter. He took it gratefully gulping it down instantly and wiping his upper lip with his sleeve
"Your right Effy I shouldn't have shouted at Cook, he didn't deserve for me to take it out on him like that"
"JJ were all in the same boat Cook is cut up about the murdered as well as us, Fuck Freddie was the guy who kept him from getting himself in trouble who's going to do that now"
"No one will his off to jail, he still beat up Foster"
"Just like you were going to beat up Cook because you thought it was all his fault don't think you better then Cook" I commented
"I am not the one off to jail!" he yelled before pouring a glass of mango juice out again this time grabbing a extra glass and filling it with mango juice before handing it to me
"Thanks" I muttered taking a mouthful of the juice
"Who's off to jail?" I heard a squeaked voice before looking up towards where the sound had come from; it was Lara. Naomi had told me about her she said how she seemed nice but was very quiet
I looked up at JJ waiting for him to say something
"Nobody, just some messed up shit that has nothing to do with me" he said as he walked over to her kissing her gently on the top of her head
"Your best friends of to jail and you have nothing to fucking do with it" I announced annoyed how he could just blank out an issue.
He glared at me
"JJ what's she on about" Lara looked concerned
"SHE" I emphasized "is on about how his best mate is off to jail for beating the crap out of the guy who murdered his other best mate. Oh did dear old JJ not tell you that"
"JJ is this true" she had a watery look in her eye. JJ didn't answer just stood there looking between me and Lara
"Come on JJ aren't you going to tell your girlfriend the truth" I mocked smirking
"It is true, Effy it's time for you to leave" he instructed clenching his fists.
I pushed by in-between them separating them as they both stood in silence
And now my work was done
I walked out the door standing in the street as I lit up a cigarette.
I knew JJ wouldn't have told Anyone, I didn't want him to have to face this alone like me. Now he told his girlfriend it means she can help him get through this, and hopefully he would go visit Cook so he too would have someone this plan had to work otherwise there was nothing else to do.
JJ
"Why didn't you tell me?" Lara asked
"Because I didn't want to think about it, I would of just of gotten angry" I claimed finally looking at her face seeing the disappointment in her eyes
"JJ you got to trust me with your feelings otherwise there's no point…" she insisted as
"No point in what?" I asked
"Don't change the subject" she knowingly said
"Fine you want to know then I will tell you" I broke under the pressure
"Thank you" she whispered taking hold of my hand
We sat at the table for about twenty minutes as I told her everything I knew, answering all the questions she had before we ended up just hugging for a moment it was nice to know she was there for me
"Come on time for bed" she informed me resting her hand on my shoulder. My mum had gone out to Dads work due so the house was mine tonight as I invited Lara round it was all going well till Effy turned up
"You go up I'll be there I'll just be a minute, got to go do something" I smiled as she nodded and walked to the stairs
Effy
I was still sat on the wall outside JJ's house I didn't really have anywhere to go. Luckily I had a thick coat on so I wasn't too cold out in the dark night air
I looked behind me as I heard the door open and JJ appear
"Thought you would still be here" he noted as I nodded
"I don't exactly have any place to go" I mentioned
"Just go home Effy" he spoke bluntly I was taken aback by his words.
I got up and started walking away
"Oh and Effy…" JJ called as I spun round to see what he had to say
"Just because your relationship has disappeared doesn't mean you have to destroy mine" he said seriously before stepping back inside, this was even more shocking it was true what he said.
I started crying missing Freddie and his stoned ways, his soft touch and rugged smell I missed everything about him I just wanted him back!
As I sat on the curb of the pavement in sobs my phone began to vibrate I flipped it open as it noted I had one new message
Katie's been looking for u worried sick don't have to tell me where u R or who Ur wiv just let me kno Ur safe and don't do anything stupid
Emily xxx
I quickly texted back that I was 'O.K' before shoving my phone back into my pocket
Let them in Effy they do care
If you have enjoyed reading this plz review :).