Chapter 4: Not Normal

Time for the day to begin. Arthur's jaw and stomach were both clenched as he moved through the mansion switching on lights. He could only shudder to think what would happen that day.

When at last he could no longer put it off anymore he made his way to the master bedroom. He would admit to some nervousness in leaving his cousin with the new Countess overnight, but the presence of Elise should've been a deterrent for anything. Even Al wasn't that much of a pervert.

Still, he wasn't looking forward to waking the Americans. It seemed that every single thing his cousin did or said was to aggravate him and surely the Countess would be the same. Only he would be stuck with her for months after his cousin returned home.

'Stiff upper lip,' he told himself. Then he placed his hand on the ornate knob and turned it.

His eyes took a moment to adjust and it took another moment for him to realize the room was empty.

"Bloody hell!" The day was off to a bad start.

Meanwhile in the kitchen…

"Dude! I smell PANCAKES!"

Elise yelped as Alfred burst in through the swinging door in his usual manner. Rose, however, was used to her friend's unnecessary enthusiasm and the rate of her pancake consumption didn't slow.

"Oui, but of course! I made zhe best pancakes~!"

"Well, start stacking 'em up!" Al took the seat next to Rose and threw an arm across her shoulders in a hug. "'Mornin' Rose!"

"Mmmpphhg!"

"So, what are we doing today?"

"Well, I still gotta tour this place and meet everybody, Al," Rose said after swallowing her mouthful of pancake. "That'll probably be what we do today."

"Boring!"

"Elise, will you show me around so I can meet everybody?"

"I would, Miss Rose, but that privilege belongs to -"

"Oh for God's sake!" The burst of British attitude from behind made them all turn around. Arthur, looking moderately flustered, now stood in the doorway glaring at the group. "You can't just go wandering about the place on your own!"

"Says who we can't?!" Alfred retorted.

"Yeah, some of us were hungry!" Rose added.

"Oui, Arthur! Zhe lovely Countess was led 'ere by 'er discriminating taste buds! After all, where else would she get a decent meal in Angleterre~?"

"I'll deal with you later, Bonnefoy," Arthur growled under his breath. He then straightened his suit and bow tie and assumed an air of refinement. "Countess Goldstone, I am Arthur Kirkland, the head butler of Goldstone Manor. The pleasure is mine."

"S'up Artie!" Rose leapt up and bounded over to Arthur, throwing her arms around his neck in a massive hug. "Haha, your accent is adorable bro!"

There wasn't a word strong enough to describe Arthur at that moment. Certainly he was affronted by her easygoing attitude - didn't this bloody Yankee realize the dignity and honor that a moment like this demanded?! But with all of his self control he restrained himself from shouting in outrage.

"Yes, well…" She didn't take the hint so he was forced to pry her arms loose from his neck. "If you'll wait here, Countess, I shall go and assemble the staff for introductions."

"No need, Monsieur Kirkland," Francis interjected, smoothly drawing the Countess closer to him with one hand. "Everyone shall arrive soon for zheir breakfast so I will do the introductions myself. Why don't you go polish zhe silver, hm?"

"You git!" Arthur snapped. "I'll rip that scruff right off your -!"

Before he could finish his threat, Alfred snuck up behind him and covered his mouth with one hand while holding him immobile with the other. He gave Rose a conspiratorial wink. "Hey cous'! Show me around while Rose is busy! Where's the pool at?!"

Al dragged Arthur kicking and screaming from the room while laughing at the top of his voice.