Anna rolled over, looking at her sister's sleeping face. The Queen was sleeping on her stomach, stiff as a board. Despite being asleep, a low groan left her with every breath that was released. Anna softly put her hand on top of her sibling's and the intense look Elsa was giving her pillow faded. She didn't quite smile, but at least she wasn't frowning anymore. The younger sibling hadn't slept well, the revelations still pacing her mind. She pushed her bangs out of her face. She noticed that the sun was a few minutes from rising. The purple-reddish light covered the bed and the color triggered a memory.
The sky's awake; so I'm awake! So we have to play!
Anna blinked quickly and shook her head.
She readjusted herself so she was lying on her side, one arm supporting her head, the other still atop Elsa's.
You hurt me, so I hurt you, and that hurt me. The circular thinking was almost too confusing to understand, though Anna had come up with it. She forced herself to take it slow and lay it out in bite-sized pieces.
You hurt me by striking my head with your ice...so I unintentionally hurt you by forcing you to be, essentially, in confinement your whole life...and that hurt me because I thought you simply didn't like me anymore. And...that must have hurt you.
Jeez, that's confusing. It's just a circle of misunderstanding and pain and fear. Why didn't mama or papa let me in? Why didn't they trust me with this secret? It happened to me, after all, I'm the one who caused this...
Anna watched Elsa's face during this.
Well... Elsa caused it, but I caused it, too. It was our fault, both of us.
Why didn't you tell me, Elsa? But before the thought was finished, Anna already had the answer. Because Elsa was selfless. She didn't want to put the guilt on her little sister. And because Elsa probably believed she deserved to carry that guilt. Anna couldn't even imagine what Elsa had been through. How had she remained so strong through it all? Anna wasn't sure she would have been able to survive that long without human interaction.
"Why, Elsa?" Anna breathed, knowing no answer would come.
How have you always been so strong? I've never had to be the strong one before...But I think that's going to change. Is it wrong that I still want you to be the strong one?
Her gaze slid down Elsa's form, which breathed shallowly. She noticed that Elsa's braid was coming undone, the brown hair still mussed from the attack. For the first time, Anna thought her sister looked fragile. Like a thin sheet of ice. The thought poked her mind uncomfortably.
It's my turn to help her. It's my turn to be a big sister to her. She rolled carefully out of the bed she'd been graciously sharing with Elsa.
"Elsa," Anna trilled minutes later. She pushed the door to her room open with her hip, a large tray balanced in her hands.
Elsa shot awake, a half-formed yelp on her lips.
"Oh shoot, sorry, sorry. You're fine, Elsa. It's Anna. You're in the castle. You're safe."
A sigh left Elsa's mouth and she fell back into the comforter. She took a moment to calm the erratic beating of her heart then opened her eyes.
"Hey," Anna whispered. "I made you breakfast...breakfast in bed." She smiled impishly.
"Oh. Thanks," Elsa replied, her voice hoarse from lack of use. She pushed herself to a sitting position, groaning at the stretching of skin over her shoulders.
Anna carefully placed the tray in front of Elsa's bedraggled form. Dark purple circles sat under the queen's eyes, and her normally rosy lips were pale and chapped. The redhead bounced when sitting on the bed, eliciting a slight flinch from Elsa.
"Sorry, sorry," Anna apologized.
The bowl of strawberries tipped and emptied itself on the white sheets. Elsa snickered and covered her mouth with a lithe hand.
"Oh, shush, you," Anna admonished, feverishly picking them up and placing them back into the metal tray. "Trying to do something nice for you..." she muttered, licking a thumb and rubbing a spot on the sheet. "Dammit, that's gonna stain."
Elsa tried to chew back a smile.
"I brought whipped cream too, from the scullery," Anna continued.
"Thank you," Elsa replied, reaching out a hand to pick a berry.
"No, no," Anna cut in. "I'm going to feed it to you."
Elsa made a face. "I can feed myself."
"I know that," Anna said, "but I wanted to do this for you. Just let me, okay?"
Elsa was silent, which the younger took to be a sign of assent.
As Anna placed the berries, dipped in cream, into the queen's mouth, she said, "I never got to take care of you when you were sick, or anything, so...This is me doing that, long overdue."
Elsa swallowed a strawberry thickly. "You really don't have to, Anna. I've never done the same for you."
"Of course you have," Anna replied, dipping another strawberry in cream. "You took care of me every day."
The berry was placed in Elsa's mouth. Confused, Elsa chewed it rapidly and asked, "How?"
"Well, every day you cared for me, whether I knew it or not. You didn't come out of your room, and while I personally don't think you would have been a danger to me, I can understand the determination and love you must have had for me to not be willing to risk anything."
Anna made to put another berry in the queen's mouth, but Elsa abruptly put her head down, and the whipped cream spread across her forehead.
"Oh my gosh, sorry," Anna stammered. "I didn't mean to- you know me- clumsy..." She looked around her for the napkin she'd brought, then noticed that Elsa hadn't said anything in return. "Elsa...? Are you okay?" She tilted her head to look at the brunette.
"Yeah," Elsa replied, her voice thick.
"What...? Are you hurting? Are you mad?"
"No," Elsa laughed. "I just... I missed you. So much." She took a breath through her nose and clenched her hand on the bed sheet, still refusing to look at Anna. "I missed not being able to have this with you."
"Oh, Elsa." Anna wormed her way toward the elder sibling and hugged her carefully. Whipped cream sat atop Anna's left shoulder, but she didn't mind.
When they pulled away, Elsa pretended to wipe the whipped cream from her forehead, but Anna saw that she was wiping her eyes too. She pretended not to notice.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, neither knowing how to proceed. Elsa finally looked up and met Anna's face with a sly smile. Her hand darted into the whipped cream bowl and smashed against Anna's face.
Anna sputtered and wiped the cream from her eye. "What the-? Wha- Elsa!"
Elsa was hunched over, clutching her ribs and laughing. Tears leaked from her eyes.
"You- you little-!" Anna dipped into the bowl and brought a handful of cream against Elsa's face.
The queen gasped. "You can't do that! I'm the Queen!"
"You're also my sister, and an asshole."
Elsa gaped at Anna and sat up. "Yeah?" She drew a handful of berries and launched them at the redhead.
Anna shielded her face and leaped forward, pinning Elsa down.
The queen yelped in fun between gasped laughter. Anna wormed her way over the brunette, attempting to reach the whipped cream while keeping a hold on the older.
"Stoh-op!" the queen screamed, the breath wrenched from her lungs.
Anna flew backward, realizing her mistake.
Elsa hadn't been yelping in fun, it had been pain. "Oh, dear god, Elsa..."
Elsa was curled on her side, holding herself and quivering. A low noise sounded at the bottom of her throat and pierced the air continuously, without stop for air.
Anna outstretched a hand, wanting to help, but fearful she would make matters worse. "I'm so sorry, Elsa. I'm so sorry. I didn't understand..."
The bed sheet was wet with scattered drops of water. Elsa continued to quiver for minutes, her face scrunched and ghostly white.
Anna moved herself to the floor and kneeled against the wooden frame. Her hand found Elsa's, and the queen latched on to Anna's with painful force. Elsa's nails dug into Anna's hand, and Anna pressed her eyes into the crook of her elbow. It hurt, but Anna was determined not to make a sound. She'd caused this pain Elsa was suffering, so she deserved to take it without a whimper.
Eventually Elsa's hand relaxed like that of a deadweight. Anna removed her face from its perch and looked up. Elsa's face had a sheen of sweat on it, and the purple circles under her eyes were accentuated. Her lip had a drop of blood on it, and her eyes were glazed over with tiredness.
"I am so sorry," Anna insisted. She drew her sister's hand toward her face and kissed it in apology, then lifted it toward her forehead. She held it there, noticing the lifelessness of it. Elsa's hand was freezing; it was colder than ice, it was closer in temperature to that of a dead body.
"It was fun," Elsa breathed.
"What?"
"It was fun," she repeated. She swallowed, attempting to lubricate her dry throat. "We haven't played like that since we were little."
"Oh," Anna replied dumbly. "I'm sorry it had to end like that, though."
Elsa's hand flopped in an attempt to pat the younger sibling. "Thank you. I missed that. Don't worry."
The queen fell asleep shortly thereafter, but Anna stayed sitting on the floor, still holding her sister's hand.