Chapter Four:

Hey guys, sorry this chapter took longer to update! I had trouble getting it to flow how I wanted it to. I had to stop writing it to eat dinner, and when I came back, I had lost total concentration and inspiration.

*Btw, to the people being confused about the main character's name, her name is Bella. I'm currently writing another story with a girl named Jenna, and I was writing the stories at the same time, and accidently wrote the wrong name in the wrong story.

Thank you for the follows and reviews, they make my day!

Hope you are liking this story. XOXO.

Silence fills the air as Hotch and Emily drive me back to the apartment. The car ride is peaceful; it has started to rain, and the light tapping of rain on the car windows is comforting. It makes me tired, and I feel like falling into a deep coma, but I know that won't happen because Spence will be furious with me when I get home.

We pull up to the house, and Hotch turns off the engine of the car. We unbuckle our seatbelts and walk into the apartment with a comfortable silence hanging over our heads.

As I turn the doorknob of my apartment, I feel a negative aura in the room. Sure enough, there's Spencer, looking furious and worried. JJ, Morgan, and Rossi are sitting on the couch submissively, not wanting to interrupt any discussion that my brother and I are about to have.

Garcia, on the other hand, senses my discomfort, and rushes up to me and hugs me. Reid does not approve, giving Garcia a glance that could kill. Garcia takes the hint and sits down, knowing that whatever pretty-boy is about to speak about is very emotional. None of his work associates have ever seen him lose his temper like this. Ever.

All of the sudden, the atmosphere of the room becomes very tense.

"What the hell, Bella?" Spencer yells. "You just took off, not worrying about your safety or anything, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED, what were you thinking?" Spencer says, remembering the incident at Rossi's house.

"I was thinking that I needed a moment to myself, and let me remind you that I'm fifteen years old, not five. I don't need parental supervision 24/7, for your information."

Spencer just looks at me. "Let me remind you that you are a minor, and that while you are under MY roof, you will obey MY rules. I don't care if you 'needed to think', you should have told me where you were going first! You could have been hurt!" Spencer responds, raising the volume of his voice.

"You can't tell me what to do!"

"From what I just witnessed, you are emotionally unstable and could've done some real damage to yourself. That panic attack back at Rossi's house? Yeah, that was a little more than nothing. You are not in the state of mind to be making decisions for yourself at this time in your life. So yeah, I think I will be telling you what to do until your attitude changes."

"What attitude?" I yell. "I'm perfectly fine; I don't know what you're talking about!" I respond, furious that he is bringing this topic up while a bunch of profilers are sitting on the couch staring at us.

"WHAT ATTITUDE?" Spencer says sarcastically. "Your moody, depressed attitude, THAT'S what. I saw the prescriptions and medications; I saw the anxiousness and insecurity. You flinch whenever you make contact with anyone. Don't tell me this is nothing, this is starting to look like more than the effects of a suicide. You shouldn't be reacting this much to something like this. Your emotions are sky-high and I don't know how much more of it I can take. You need help. You need a therapist."

"Because having a therapist helps everything, doesn't it?" I say incredulously while rolling my eyes. "And yes, I'm just overreacting over everything aren't I? You don't even KNOW me, you don't know half the shit I've been through," I cry, about to burst into tears. My face contorts in anger, gaining color by the second. I run into my room, slamming the door, making the paintings on my walls shake. The bookshelves shake as well, making some of the books fall.

That was SO low of him. I could cry right now, punch everything in sight. I don't need to be told how weak I am, I already know. He doesn't have the right to judge me and he certainly doesn't know the horrors of my life. He doesn't know that every moment from my tenth birthday to present has been shit. I've been tortured, raped, beat, bullied, and everything else imaginable. I was even drugged and drowned, for crying out loud. I have burn marks trailing down my back in the shape of a zigzag from cigarettes and a stab wound scar on my abdomen. HE DOESN'T KNOW A FUCKING THING ABOUT ME.

All of the sudden I start sobbing uncontrollably, making it hard to breathe. I punch my pillow, throw my lamp at my door, and kick my dresser, which is going to leave a nasty bruise on my foot.

I look at the mirror. I don't like what I see. I see a rotten excuse for a human being standing there, helpless and pathetic. As soon as I take one look in that mirror, I know what it's time to do.

*Meanwhile in the living room of Spencer's apartment

*Spencer POV

JJ's face goes pale and Garcia starts to cry as Bella storms out of the room. Morgan and Rossi are frozen to their seats, and Hotch and Emily are looking concerned while staring at her bedroom door.

I just stand here, my feet glued to the floor, not moving a muscle. What have I gotten myself into?

"Spence, she needs comforting and support," says JJ, gazing into my eyes. "She's obviously had a hard life," starts Hotch, but Morgan interrupts. "You need to talk to her," Morgan says to me. "I don't know half of what she's been through, but from what I can see, she's traumatized to the point where she is afraid to make human connections." Garcia looks at Morgan, continuing on the point. "She needs support and needs to trust again. She feels abandoned. If you need me to move up the girls' night to tonight or tomorrow night, she can stay at my place for a few nights until she gets her emotions in check," says Garcia, making eye contact with JJ and Emily, who nod their heads in agreement. "We'll join them," JJ says, making eye contact with Emily. "But she should have a night alone to calm down, so we'll do the girls' night tomorrow."

I just stare into space, feeling like absolute shit. I just yelled at my half-sister. She lost her dad, step-dad, and witnessed her mom's suicide and I just screamed my lungs out at her. My throat goes dry. I need to make this right. I'm worried, and don't want anything to happen to her. I long to talk to her, but I know deep-down that it will take time for her to open up. I just yelled at a girl who has had the roughest life of a teen I have ever heard of.

Realizing my gigantic mistake, I start to walk towards Bella's room. "I need to talk to her…"

"Spence, stop, give her space. She needs time to breathe." JJ says.

I nod my head and knock on her door. "Hey Bella, would you want to spend the night at Garcia's tomorrow?" I ask.

I can hear the relief in her voice when she says yes, and I leave her alone to her business.

"You guys should probably leave now, sorry for the inconvenience," I say.

"It's no problem," says Hotch. "Your sister needs help, and that's all that matters."

*Back to Bella POV

As I hear the front door slam, I know the FBI agents have left the apartment.

I lock my door.

I take the pink razor into my hand.

My hand quivers.

I slide the sharp end of the razor across my arm.

The blood flows out like a waterfall; fast and smooth.

I do this over and over until my body is sufficiently cleansed.

Until the pain takes over my problems.

Once I finish, I hop in the shower, rinsing off my cuts. The burning of my cuts makes me forget all of the things worth forgetting. I cleanse my body for as long as I can, until the water runs cold. I blot my cuts and moisturize them and then pull the bed sheets over my body, waiting for a blanket of sleep to come over me, although it almost never does.

I hope y'all liked this chapter! I'll try to write chapter 5 tomorrow/today (it's 12:09 right now.)