A/N: This is a musical chapter. Where, just like a musical, my characters break out into random songs from different musicals and just regular songs. (I apologize for most of the songs being from Smokey Joe's my school just did a production and I have all the songs stuck in my head)
Songs include:
I(who have nothing) –Smokey Joe's Café
Guy Love –Scrubs Musical
His name his Launcelot – Spamalot
Does Your Mother Know? – ABBA
Ladies Choice – Hairspray
Bless The Broken Road – Rascal Flatts
Poison Ivy – Smokey Joe's Café.
Audition – 42nd Street
Who needs you? – The Land Before Time IV
I keep Forgettin' –Smokey Joe's Cafe
-A loud booming noise is suddenly heard.-
Everyone: -looks around-
Melissa: What was that?
Katie: -shrugs- I don't know.
Authoress: HELLO, my characters!
Everyone: -groans-
Jenna: You again? Really?
Authoress: Hey…I just had a brilliant idea and this is the only way I could think of bringing it in, alright! GEESH!
Jean: Well no one asked you to have a brilliant idea.
Authoress: Hey, I could write you out!
Jean: Good! I don't want to be here!
Authoress: In that case, I'm keeping you.
Jean: Damn you!
Bethany: -with a hint of sarcasm- What is this brilliant idea, oh great one?
Authoress: Are you being sarcastic towards me?
Bethany: Yes…but that's the way you wrote my line.
Authoress: …..True
Hannah: So, what is it?
Authoress: Oh right! Well…..
Mike: Julian Marsh is doing a show!
Jenna: It's in variety, Julian Marsh is doing a show!
Erik: Who is Julian Marsh?
Hannah: Yea! We're gonna work again!
Katie: Get out your tap shoes Francis!
Erik: Francis?
All: Julian Marsh is doing a show!
Erik: WHO IS JULIAN MARSH?!
Jenna: Never mind Erik….-sigh-
Erik: So you girls told us what you thought about yourselves, let me tell you what we think.
Guys: She comes off like a rose
But everybody knows
She'll get you in Dutch
Jack: You can look but you better not touch!
Guys: Poison Ivy
Poison Ivy
Jack: Late at night when you're sleeping
Poison Ivy comes creeping around
Guys: She's pretty as a daisy
But look out man she's crazy
She'll really do you in
Jack: And if you let her get under your skin
Guys: Poison Ivy
Poison Ivy
Jack: Late at night when you're sleeping
Poison Ivy comes creeping around.
Guys: Measles make you bumpy
And mumps will make you lumpy
And chicken pox will make you jump and twitch.
A common cold will fool ya
A wrackin' cough will cool ya
But Poison Ivy Oughta make you itch
You're gonna need an ocean
Of Calamine Lotion
You'll be scratching like a hound
Jack: The minute you start to mess around
Guys: Poison Ivy
Poison Ivy
Jack: Late at night when you're sleeping
Poison Ivy comes creeping around
Guys: La, la, la, la, la, la.
La, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la.
Bethany: Poison Ivy? We're like Poison Ivy?
Erik: You especially.
Bethany: -hits him over the head with a random textbook.-
Erik: You are so annoying!
Bethany: Well so are you.
Erik: Yea?
Bethany: Yea.
Erik: Well let me tell you something! Who needs you?!
Bethany: And who needs you?!
Erik: I need you like a hole in the head!
Bethany: And I need you like a bug in the bed!
Erik: you're constantly by the claw that feeds you.
Both: Who needs you not me.
Bethany: I need you like a pain in the gut!
Erik: And I need you like a kick in the butt! You're truly disgrace, the race that breeds you.
Both: Who needs you not me.
Bethany: Who needs you! You creepy, crappy, creature. Your ugly as sin! Just a scraggily bag of skin!
Erik: And who needs you, you're hairs your finest feature, you're thick skinned and you're a bore, dragging your feet around the floor!
Bethany: Oh, I need you like a rock on my toes!
Erik: And I need you like a sock on the nose! I'm shocked and appalled by your behavior!
Bethany: Don't try being nice cuz that won't save you!
Both: I'm better off without you I can see! So who needs you, not me!
Erik: I need you like a cold in July.
Bethany: And I need you like a punch in the eye!
Erik: Of all the dumb beasts, not one precedes you!
Both: Who needs you, not me.
Bethany: I need you like I need a disease!
Erik: And I need you like the sun needs to freeze! For quickness of mind, a rock out speeds you!
Both: Who needs you, not me.
Bethany: Who needs you! You demented, crazy, creature. You yell and you talk and you're knocked kneed when you walk!
Erik: And who needs you? You 5 foot 8 inch quitter! Your bitter and your angry and you're oh so, oh so, lazy!
Bethany: Oh I need you like I need some more teeth.
Erik: I lift a rock and find you underneath! I'm deeply upset by you're demeanor!
Bethany: I know that I'm mean, but you're De-meaner.
Both: No more I might prepare could ever be
Erik: The word is incompatibility!
Bethany: Not only that but we don't get on you see!
Both: So who needs you, except the race that breeds you, who needs you…
Bethany: Not me!
Erik: Not me!
Bethany: Not me!
Erik: Not me!
Both: Not me!
-They both humph and go to opposite sides of the lair disappearing into different rooms.-
Will: Awesome! Now I get the couch!
Hannah: Ya know, my offer still stands about SHARING the couch…
Will: uhm…hm…you know I don't mean to be rude or anything but you're kind of young.
Hannah: Soooo…True love there is no age boundaries….Take Christine and Erik. He's like 40 and she's not even 20 yet.
Erik: -calling from the room he went into- I'M 37!!!!!!!
Hannah: -shrugs- close enough.
Mike: Isn't that illegal?
Hannah: Perhaps in the 21st century but maybe not in the 19th.
Will: Maybe it is not illegal but it sure is wrong…you are over 18 aren't you?
Hannah: -blank stare- almost.
Will: Almost? As in not yet 18?
Hannah: No….But Will….it doesn't matter! –She moves seductively toward him- Pleeeaseeee..
Will: -sighs- You're
so hot, teasing me
So you're blue but I can't take a chance on a
chick like you
That's something I couldn't do
There's that look
in your eyes
I can read in your face that your feelings are
driving you wild
Ah, but girl you're only a child.
Hannah: So!
Will: -starts to dance with her all over the lair-
Well I can dance
with you honey
If you think its funny
Does your mother know
that you're out?
And I can chat with you baby
Flirt a little
maybe
Does your mother know that you're out?
Hannah: -Grins wildly in the arms of Will-
Will: Take it easy
Random Chorus girls:(take it easy)
Will: Better slow down girl
That's no
way to go
Does your mother know?
Take it easy
Random Chorus Girls:(take it easy)
Will: Try to cool it girl
Take it nice
and slow
Does your mother know?
I can see what you want
–points to the
bathroom where the couch is-
But you seem pretty young to be
searching for that kind of fun
So maybe I'm not the one
Now
you're so cute, I like your style
And I know what you mean when
you give me a flash of that smile
But girl you're only a child.
Well I can dance
with you honey
If you think its funny
Does your mother know
that you're out?
And I can chat with you baby
Flirt a little
maybe
Does your mother know that you're out?
Will:Take it easy
Random Chorus girls:
(take it easy)
Will: Better slow down girl
That's no way
to go
Does your mother know?
Take it easy
Random Chorus Girls:
(take it easy)
Will: Try to cool it girl
Take it nice
and slow
Does your mother know?
Well I can dance
with you honey
If you think it's funny
Does your mother know
that you're out?
And I can chat with you baby
Flirt a little
maybe
Does your mother know that you're out?
Hannah: Wait a second, does that mean if I WAS 18 you would go for me?
Will: Uh…-looks over to Elizabeth.-
Elizabeth: -Glares at him. Walks up to him-
I keep Forgettin' you don't love me no more!
I keep Forgettin' you don't want me no more!
I keep Forgettin' that you told me that
You didn't want me around
Anymore
But these stupid old feet
Just head for your street
Like they've done so many times before
-Holds up her fist-
And this stubborn old fist
At the end of my wrist
Keeps knocking on your front door.
I keep forgettin' you don't love me no more
I keep forgettin' you don't want me no more
I keep forgettin' about those heart breaking nights
And those heart breaking things that you said
And though I know in my heart
That we've drifted apart
Still I can't believe our love is dead
-Glares at Hannah-
Though it's plain as can be
That you're finished with me,
I just can't get it through my head.
-Looks back at Will-
I keep forgettin' you don't love me no more
I keep forgettin' you don't love me no more
I keep forgettin' you don't love me no more!
-Shoves Will and storms off angrily-
Hannah: -stands quietly for a few moments.-
Will: -looking awfully confused-
Hannah: -turning to Will- So is that a yes?
Andre: -Emerging from the secret passageways of Erik's lair-
Firmin: -following him-
Andre: Hey! We're back!
Katie: And where were YOU two?
Firmin: We got lost in the phantom's labyrinth.
Katie: uh, huh likely story!
Andre: Wait…you think we were…Oh my God, not again!
Firmin: We're not gay!!
Jenna: -looks skeptical-
Andre: Okay, well I'm going to prove it. –Turns to Firmin-
Let's face the facts about me and you
A love unspecified
Though I'm proud to call you
Chocolate bear…
Everyone: -Stares at Firmin.-
Firmin: Because of my hair!
Everyone: ooohh.
Andre: The crowd will always talk and stare
Firmin: I feel exactly those feelings too
And that's why I keep them inside
Cause this 'bear' can't bare the worlds disdain
And sometimes its easier to hide
Both: Then explain our guy love
That's all at is
Guy love
He's mine, I'm his
There's nothing gay about it
In our eyes
Firmin: You ask me about this thing we share
Andre: And he tenderly replies
Both: its guy love
Between two guys
Firmin: We're closer than the average man and wife
Andre: That's why our matching bracelets say 'Gil' and 'Richard'
Andre and Firmin: -hold up bracelets-
Firmin: You know I'll stick by you for the rest of my life
Andre: Your only man who's ever been inside of me!
Firmin: -quick to explain- whoa, I just took out his appendix…wait…I never took out your appendix!!
Andre: -shrugs- There's no need to clarify
Firmin: oh no?
Andre: Just let it grow more and more each day.
It's like I married my best friend
Firmin: But in a totally manly way!
Both: Let's go!
Its guy love!
Don't compromise
The feeling of some other guy
Holding up your hearts into the sky
Andre: I'll be there to care through all the lows
Firmin: I'll be there to share the highs
Both: its guy love
Between two guys
Andre: And when I say, I love you Rich; it's not what it implies.
Both: its guy love
Between two
Guys
Firmin: -holds out hand for André to shake-
Andre: -shakes head- no hands.
Andre and Firmin: -they embrace-
Jean: -smirking- -nudges mike-
Mike: Yes?
Jean: Would you like to join them?
Mike: No, I would not!
Jean: Oh Come on!!
Mike, you might as well just fess up
Really you're a different kind of guy
Move aside your scabbard
For underneath your tabard
There is waiting to escape
A BUTTEFRLY!!!
-Random streamers and confetti wall from above and flashing pink and yellow lights appear-
Jean:
His
Name
Is
Lancelot
Mike: No it's not.
Jean:
And it tight pants a lot
Mike: -looks down to wear he was just before wearing baggy jeans but infact is wearing tight pants now- What the hell!?
Jean:
He likes to dance a lot
You know you do!
Mike: I do?
Jean:
So just say 'Thanks a lot'
And try romance, its hot!
Let's find out who's really you!
His name is Lancelot
He visits France a lot
He likes to dance a lot
And dream!
Who would have ever known
That this outrageous pro
Bats for the other team!
You're a guy who really
Likes his night life
And by day you really like to play!
You can all find him
Pumping at the gym
At the Opera House Y-M-C-A
Hannah: There's a Y-M-C-A at the opera house?
Melissa: That's…interesting.
Jean:
His name is Lancelot
Just watch him dance a lot
He doesn't care what people say
Mike: -looking confused- no way….
Jean:
For when he starts to dance
Just grab your underpants
-Shows his under pants-
Hannah/Jenna/Katie: JEAN!!
Jean:
He can finally
Come out and say
That he is G-A-Y-M-C-A!
He's gay!
Mike: ok!
Jean: -chuckles.-
Mike: Wait… no! No! I'm not gay! I'm straight! Not Ok! NOT OK!!!!!!
A/N: Okay readers and reviewers, I've decided to make this 'Musical' into two parts because if I included all songs, the chapter would be very long to read. So the 2nd part should be coming along soon!!!