A/N: Okay, so I'm finally updating. I'm sorry for the sort of long wait. Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed! I love you guys! c:
Jacob: Me too!
Paul: She's going to make me get naked. -.-
Jared: Whooohoooo! I mean- ew, gross.
wut.
OKAY then. Let's do this!
Disclaimer: SM owns everything!
It was dark and cold, I fisted my hands into something wet and damp. When I finally forced my eyes open they were so heavy. I made out that it was night and the moon was shining dully over the.. forest. I was fisting dirt and leaves and it all seeped through my hands icily wet. My heart felt like it was on fire and I started screaming. The burning intensity overtook me and a soft footfall alerted me that I wasn't alone. Yellow eyes were bright in a thick darkness, it was some creature. A wolf. I gasped and choked on the sound, I was burning from the inside out. I know this place, I thought. A soft keening brought me back to the imminent danger of this wolf very close to me. It was all black and huge. Strong waves of authority and power were rolling off of the huge beast. My eyes widened and my heart clenched spasmodically in my chest. I was beating my fist into the floor, oh god, please. I looked to the wolf that was still softly keening like it wanted to.. help. I spoke slowly through clenched teeth, "Come. Come to me, rip my damn heart out. Please, Edward!" I remembered now, why my heart was in this condition, why my chest was sinking touching my back. I was teetering on sanity and insanity, and I was slowly losing my battle. Edward left. Simple as that statement was, it took all my breath with it. I couldn't breathe, very small whispering breaths came through my dry cracked lips.
I was screaming again, all my sorrows and anguish pouring out. Nothing to live for; he didn't want me and I didn't want me. I knew he couldn't love me, he was an Adonis and I was plain old me. I never fit into his perfect world. I wrapped my arms tight around my body desperately trying to hold myself together while painful sobs wracked my entire body. Then the wolf jumped out from the darkness it was sheathed in, and landed lightly next to Bella. It flattened its ears to its head and lowered its hulking body to the floor. It looked like the perfect submissive. It started whining allowing Bella to notice it. I was thrown. This large alpha wolf was on the floor blithely crawling towards me and I decided to touch it. I put my palm out towards its snout. It met me halfway and pushed its wet nose fully into my small hand, it was keening, loudly now. It pushed more into me trying to comfort me? It was whimpering deep in its chest while rubbing its snout over my entire body. I was very still throughout it when its yellow eyes connected with mine. My mind raced, "Sam?" I whispered out carefully. Rolling the name on my tongue. This wolf was Sam Uley.
I bolted upright gasping wildly for air. When hands flew to my face, large fingers grasping and slipping through my tears. I heard whispers of it's okay, it'll be okay. Jacob. I was at Jacob's in his bed. I looked up to him and mumbled a sorry. He crushed me to his chest. "No, no, I'm sorry honey." he whispered into my hair. "You were crying in your sleep." he stated. "Oh." I whispered back. I bet I was, that was just a dream. Or maybe a nightmare. I wondered how I knew so surely that the wolf in my dream was Sam. It was so odd. Then I remembered. "Ohm." I said out loud, it hit me. Jacob pulled back to look at me. "What is it?" he asked. "Well I had a dream- actually not a dream because I think it actually happened.." I trailed off. "What happened, tell me about your dream." Jacob asked positioning himself next to me in his bed, he slung his arm around my shoulder. I nodded, "It was about the night they left. He left. Sam was the one who found me in the woods right?" I asked. I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth. Jacob reached up and smoothed the pucker in between my eyes that I didn't know had formed. "Yeah." he responded quietly. "I thought so, my dream was so weird. I was laying on the forest floor, crying." I said this part quietly, ashamed of my weakness. He nodded understandingly, he rubbed his hand up and down my arm soothingly. "Anyways, Sam was a wolf, but I knew it was Sam. He was trying to comfort me. That's when I woke up." I finished lamely. "Huh." Jacob said. A perplexed look scrunched up his face. "Sounds more like a memory Bells." he said matter of factly. "Yeah I guess that's exactly what it was." I chuckled half heartedly. Something was nagging at me. Did all that really happen the night Sam found me. "Jake, is Sam's wolf black?" I asked suddenly. He turned to me and smiled, his eyes crinkled at the corners. He looked so tired. I knew he wasn't sleeping well we talked about it last night over cups of coffee, after I changed into something dry. Sam had him running lots of patrols because of Victoria. That was another reason to feel guilty for wrapping him and everyone else up in my problems. I'd clucked my tongue at him when he told me that. He shrugged it off, and I said nothing more about it I didn't want to offend him. I just wished he'd get more sleep. "Yeah it is." Jacob said chuckling. "Hmmm." I said aloud. Jacob smiled at me and pulled back his deep brown curtain letting day's light seep into the room.
"What do you want to do today Bells?" Jacob asked. I shrugged, "Whatever, it's cool." I smiled at him. We haven't hung out in a while and I was excited to spend some time with my best friend. "Well we're going to have to go to Sam's for a bit. I have to check in with Mr. Boss man, and you can probably find something to eat there." He was trying to persuade me. "Sure, sounds fun." I smiled at him. "Great, I'm starving." He laughed as he hopped out of the bed and went into the restroom. I laughed along with him.
We were on our way out of Jacob's house with a smile and wave towards Billy. I was wearing a pair of Jake's cutoffs and one of his oversized flannels. He laughed for a good few minutes when he saw what I chose to wear. I shrugged nonchalant, "What? I like flannel shirts." I defended. He just laughed more wiping a tear from his eye. I'd rolled my eyes at him. Now we were walking, barefoot might I add towards Sam's which was maybe a good mile away. We padded over striking green grass in a comfortable silence. I decided to bring up the subject of Paul again. It had been nagging at me ever since I woke up this morning. Last night Jake had told me that we'd talk more about it later, he was sleepy he said. "Tomorrow?" I asked in return. "Yeah, Bells. Tomorrow." He replied groggily. With a sweet kiss laid on my hairline Jacob was asleep, or dead, it was hard to tell. After that I stayed up some time just thinking about Paul. He plagued my every thought. I knew nothing about him, besides three things; I somehow felt tied to him, he seemed interested, then he didn't. He confused me to no end. I didn't share any of this with Jake.
"So the fight between you and Paul...what was it about?" I asked Jacob lightly. He tensed and his eyes widened infinitesimally I noted that he was nervous and watched him through the corner of my eye. He sighed loudly, he landed his hand down soundly on the back of his neck, rubbing hard. "He's a jackass." Came Jacob's grumbled reply. I turned on him incredulous, "He's a jackass? That's it, that's all you have to say? Come onJacob. Give me something more stable than that." I seethed. I didn't fully understand why his comment set me off the way it did but I know it felt right to get in his face like that and...defend Paul. Defend this man that I knew nothing about whatsoever, I needed answers. I took a steadying breath, the only person I was likely to get them from was Jacob. My inner voice told me to play nice. His eyes were huge when I finally took notice. "Sheesh Bells, I'm just saying." His hands were held up defensively. I nodded, "I know, I'm sorry. Just please tell me the truth it's important to me." I spoke, I was worrying my lip now. He ran his hand through his hair, "Right. The truth. That's kind of difficult Bella. The details actually should be told by him." He was referring to Paul. I looked at him astounded. Seriously? He wasn't going to tell me? "Fine!" I huffed. Walking faster now, Sam's house came into view. I stormed up his steps and through the door. Jacob came in right after me calling my name but I didn't care, I didn't even acknowledge him. I saw Sam wrapped around Emily in their kitchen and I walked up to them slowly, taking determined steps.
"Sam what the hell is wrong with your wolves?" I asked angrily. It was deathly silent when Sam's deep chuckle rumbled throughout the small area. He was shaking his head as he pulled away from Emily to walk towards me. I was leaning on the divider and he was leaning on the other side of it. He was still lightly shaking with laughter and his eyes sparkled with amusement. "I don't know." He replied. "Honest." He spoke again. I giggled. I guess I was a bit silly to come in here demanding of Sam to tell me the wolves problems. I've lost my marbles I decided. "What exactly did my "wolves" do?" Sam asked, teasingly. Jacob spoke over me, coming to stand next to Sam. "She's mad, she wants to know why me and Paul were fighting yesterday, y'know." Jacob told Sam. Sam nodded and gave him a look of understanding. He swallowed nervously before looking at me, "Uh, right. Why did Paul and Jacob fight yesterday?" He trailed off. "You should ask Paul." He supplied. I threw my hands up, "Ugghhhh." I grumbled unintelligently. "No, not you too!" I moaned folding my hands and laying my head on the counter. My face was squished and I probably looked like the epitome of misery. Jacob chuckled deeply he nudged Sam. "I told her the exact same thing, man." He told Sam. I groaned again, him and Sam were laughing at me. Emily came into the picture, landing a resounding blow to the back of Jacob's head and swatting Sam's chest. "Shut up you two." She growled at them. They instantly quieted down. "Honey." Came Emily's soft voice. She placed her small hand on my head, brushing hair away from my face. "What's the matter?" She asked me. I sighed dramatically. What's the matter? They don't understand. I don't even understand what I'm feeling right now. I want to ask Paul about the fight but he puts me on edge, makes me nervous. I didn't know how I could ever look him in the face and ask him what all of yesterday was bout. I blew air out, flapping my lips. I turned quickly to look Emily in the face.
"Get out! All of you, give us some girl time." Emily was pushing Sam, Jacob, and Jared out of the house. I watched amused from my spot on the floor against the kitchen divider. I'd sunken down there when Jared came from somewhere in the house, "What's up with her?" He asked the room. I moaned. Jacob started laughing again, "She wants to know about why me and Paul were arguing. I keep telling her to just ask Paul." He told Jared. Jared was guffawing, slapping a large hand down on my back he told the room, "Might want to be a safe distance from the new couple, I saw firsthand what happens just when Bella looks at old Pauli-Wally. Hey I think I just figured out what you should call him in the throws of passion he gives you when he breathes deeply." At that The room filled with howls upon howls of laughter. My face turned cherry red and I sunk down to the floor, moaning and groaning. New couple? I was outraged, me and Paul were not a couple. I don't even know him. What does everyone else know that I don't. "Fuck you, Jared." I bit out angrily. He looked shocked at my words, I flipped him the bird. Jacob started convulsing with laughter, "Whoa. You made Bells cuss, dude, run." Jacob told Jared. That's what brought us here; Emily throwing them all out of her house.
I chuckled lithely at the puppy dog expression Sam was giving Emily. "But babe-" He started but she ended his sentence with a door to the face. I covered my face with my hands, erupting in giggles. Em was a saint, "Thanks." I mumbled shyly. She gave me a sympathetic smile and came to sit next to me. Half of her body pushed up against mine. "What's the matter?" She asked bluntly. I swallowed audibly and looked into her wide eyes, she was smiling, contempt with just waiting for me to answer. I hid my face in between my knee's. "It's Paul, he's intimidating." I sighed, letting that just sink in. I peeked at Emily and she was nodding understandingly. "I see where you'd get that." She told me, smiling funny. I nodded. "Yes, Paul's...intense. But, he's sweet Bella. He won't bite." She laughed a little. I looked up at her amused that she was laughing at her own jokes. She continued, "If there's honestly something you need to know from Paul, just go and ask. These boys are just like puppy's." She was giggling again. "Sweet puppy's, they'll do just about anything you ask." She finished. I sighed the hundredth time that day. I guess if everyone wants me to ask Paul about what happened, about what's going on. That's just what I'll have to do. These people are getting me nowhere. I huffed. Emily was smiling at me, amused. "Okay. Ugh. Fine. Whatever." I grumbled out a jumble of one word replies. "He's here, y'know. Out back." Emily jabbed her thumb in the direction of the back of the house. "They all are, they're barbequing." She told me. I nodded okay. I stood up, wiping my hands on Jacob's cutoffs. I was trying hard not to psyche myself out, just go and talk to him Bella, said my inner voice.. Right. I looked down to see Emily trying not to laugh, "Stop overthinking Bella, just go." She directed me. I smiled weakly at her, and took a few steps backwards. Okay Bella, you can do this. Go get your answers I told myself. I walked down the slight hallway the white heavy door leading to the backyard and forest my main focus. I'd finally reached it, it opened with an almost imperceptible noise and closed behind me all the same. I stood on the back porch, surveying the scene before me. Jared and Embry were passing a football back and forth. Jacob and Quil were bothering Sam by the grill. That's when I saw him leaning against a wooden bench table covered in food, my stomach twisted in knots and grumbled all at the same time. He was looking at Sam, Jacob and Quil argue, laughing silently when Sam slapped Quil in the back of the head with a pair of tongs. I giggled too and in an instant his eyes were on me. I gulped. He stared intensely, I took a step forward, he bristled anxiously. I took another step and another, some unknown force was carrying me to him. I was directly in front of his huge bulking frame, he was smirking down at me. My lips parted slightly and I licked them, his eyes followed the action.
I walked around him towards the table and his smirk fell infinitesimally. I looked over the food and made myself a plate, piling it high with everything there. I was starving. I heard lithe chuckling behind me. I turned to see a very amused looking Paul, his arms were folded over his massive chest. "Hungry, little girl?" He asked. My mouth popped open and closed again. "Yes." I replied and turned back to my plate. I sat down at the table, chickened out. I couldn't even look at him, let alone talk to him. I tried to focus on my food, he'd taken a seat right in front of me and I couldn't help but sneak glances at him every few seconds. Under his scrutiny I could barely eat. He growled, I froze. What is it? I looked at him my eyes wide. He looked disgruntled, "What?" I asked in a hiss. "You're picking at your food, eat." He demanded in a deep tone. My mouth flew open and he was quick to pop a grape right in there. I chewed it quickly, shocked at his playfulness. A genuine smile tugged at his lips as he watched me chew wide eyed. I decided now was as good a time as ever to bring up what happened yesterday. "Paul." His name came out as a whisper. His eyes shot to mine, boring into them. He was waiting. "Yesterday, when you and Jacob were arguing, well...why were you arguing? What was it all about?" Came my stuttering question for him. His eyes were intense as he looked at me, I was nervously wrenching my hands together underneath the table. I looked down towards my plate, he was taking forever to answer. He just sat stock still not saying anything. "You." He replied, his voice deep and rumbling. My eyes shot up to his. Me. Why didn't that surprise me? I knew, that's why. I wanted to know so badly because I needed to confirm it. "Huh." Came my whispered reply. I picked up my hotdog and took a chunk out of it. I looked up to see his eyes trained on me.
"Why were you guys arguing about...me?" I asked, my voice finally strong.
What do ya guys think? Please review.
I know I said I'd get Pauli-Wally naked but I'm so dam tired.
It's coming soon though, next chappie for sure. Thanks so much guys for following along! Until next time my lovelies.
Paul: *lifting his shirt teasingly* Review, review.
lawl wut are you doing paul stahp it.